The Bucolic Plague

by Josh Kilmer-Purcell

11/2 PTS JOSE CUERVO (INCREASE ACCORDINGLY AS CHRISTMAS MORNING APPROACHES)

  WILLIAM BEEKMAN’S SYLLABUB

  From American Cookery by Amelia Simmons, 1796

  TO MAKE A FINE SYLLABUB FROM THE COW [OR GOAT]

  Sweeten a quart of hard cyder with double refined sugar, grate nutmeg into it, then milk your cow [or goat] into your liquor. When you have thus added what quantity of milk you think proper, pour half a pint or more, in proportion to the quantity of syllabub you make, of the sweetest cream you can get all over it.

  Acknowledgments

  Brent is a private person. If you are a private person, imagine having me as your boyfriend. Now you’ll know how grateful I am that he’s stuck around.

  Farmer John is perhaps the most patient man on earth. His goats saved the Beekman far more than the Beekman saved them. I won’t say much more because it’ll embarrass him.

  I’m also grateful that my parents made me pull weeds from our garden for hours on end in the hot summer sun. They were right. I was wrong. It did build character.

  Martha Stewart probably won’t read this far. She’s a busy woman doing important things—which is why I’ve always admired, envied, poked fun at, and worshipped her. Thank you, Martha.

  I’m surely going to forget to include at least one of my Sharon Springs neighbors in the following list. Please don’t shun me at the Agway: Garth Roberts, Doug Plummer, Heidi Meika, Lee Woolver, Michelle Curran, Debbie McGillycuddy, Dan Fiske, Jason Paden, Tony and Vanessa, Ross Wasserman, Bob Sutherland, Suzann Kipp, Barbara and Peter Melara, Michael Whaling, Maureen Lodes, Megan Holken, George VanGarderen, Karen and Michael, Keith Bavolar, Karen and Peter Cookson, Harold and Barbara Hall, Rabbit Goody, Jim Feldman, Sharon and Bob, Jim and Norm, Dan and Dave, Rose, John and Steve, Mitch and Matthew, Pat and Eric Selch.

  I consider these people my friends, family, and future fodder (lucky them): Papa and Pam, Jeannie O’Toole, James and Maya, Sally Kim, Carrie Kania, Andy McNicol, Anna DeRoy, Lauren Heller Whitney, Matthew Horowitz, Cecil, Max, Sophie, Linda, Angela Rae Berg, Laura Michalchyshyn, Lynn Sadofsky and the Planet Green team, Pyongson Yim, Fenton and Randy, the WOW peeps, Marty, Rob, Lenny, Mark, Lori Lum, Kenn and David, Andrew, and all our Beekman 1802 Internet pals.

  About the Author

  JOSH KILMER-PURCELL is the bestselling author of the memoir I Am Not Myself These Days and the novel Candy Everybody Wants, and the star of the television docu-series The Fabulous Beekman Boys. He and his partner, Brent Ridge, divide their time between Manhattan and the Beekman Farm.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

  ALSO BY JOSH KILMER-PURCELL

  FICTION

  Candy Everybody Wants

  NONFICTION

  I Am Not Myself These Days

  Credits

  Jacket photography © Ben Hoffmann

  Jacket design by theBookDesigners

  Copyright

  THE BUCOLIC PLAGUE. Copyright © 2010 by Josh Kilmer-Purcell. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  FIRST EDITION

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.

  EPub Edition © April 2010 ISBN: 978-0-06-199699-3

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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