Spirit Intercom

by Sean Adami

  Words couldn’t reveal Andrew’s level of confusion. On the grassy floor of the teepee appeared a stationary large blue beetle, the size of Andrew’s hand. Andrew queased and turned his head away from the disgusting insect appearance. He hated beetles. The fact that it was ten times bigger sickened him even more. Having trouble speaking, Andrew asked, “Why the fuck is there a huge beetle on the floor!”

  Walking into the teepee, Herb said, “For Inoculation Jamboree.”

  Andrew asked, “What? What the hell is that?”

  Walking out the teepee, Herb said, “Follow me. Carry the beetle with you on your way out.”

  Andrew said, “Not even a chance I’m picking that up.”

  Herb said, “The beetle is a part of nature. All belongs to nature. Carry it.”

  Perpetual thoughts told Andrew not to pick it up, but his natural instinct made his hands approach the beetle. As his hands came closer into contact, the beetle quickly flew over his head but thankfully didn’t escape out of the teepee. (Andrew wishes the beetle did fly out though.) He couldn’t believe what he was doing. This was not rational, but it was natural, according to Herb at least. Lunging forward, Andrew slapped his hands together and barely caught hold of the beetle. The beetle continuously slapped Andrew’s arms with its supersonic fluttering. Reaching maximum grossness, the beetle almost flew out of his hands, but Andrew suppressed its struggle.

  While exiting out of the teepee, Andrew saw the animate plants stared at the beetle he held. Profusely reacting, the animate plants released high volume chants repeatedly saying, “Jamboree!” Wanting to throw away the beetle in riddance, Andrew caught up to Herb. The beetle clamped Andrew’s fingers with its sharp mouth, gnawing away on many skin cells. He put more pressure on the beetle’s back, and it stopped biting.

  Noticing this harshness, Herb said, “Hey! Be gentle to Beetle. What if I were to crush your spinal cord with ease? How would you like that!”

  As they were walking, Andrew said, “Fine.” He unrestrained the beetle but still held it. “Where are we walking to?”

  Herb elegantly said, “Afar from here. Be patient.” The “Jamboree” chants diminished, and the animate plants followed them. Herb grabbed Andrew by the chest. “We will travel a quicker way. I must bring you to a distinct location. You cannot know how to get there.” Herb covered Andrew’s eyes with one hand and carried him with the other.

  Andrew said, “Not this again.” The beetle began gnawing on his hand, and Herb’s thorny hands were piercing his eyelids. Andrew was confined to two irritations. As Herb made a run for it, Andrew heard the animate plants’ approaching stomps.

  After several moments of bickering harassment, Andrew felt the shakes of running stop. Andrew insisted, “Can you put me down now?” Herb did just that.

  Looking around, Andrew saw it was still daylight abroad and presumed that the beetle was in his hand still. And it was, still ferociously biting Andrew’s fingers. He looked around and saw the hoard of animate plants covering his field of view. Acquiring no idea of their precise location, Andrew stood there, while Herb implanted his feet into the mud floor. Andrew emphatically said, “Tell me where we are.”

  Herb discarded his hand from Andrew’s eyes.

  Andrew’s mind fleeted with ebullience. The landscape projected an unimaginable sight. Absent of trees, the biome concocted an endless display of shifting tectonic plates made of stone. Water springs solidified into these tectonic plates. Unquantifiable amounts of color elicited the near-ending daylight sky. Andrew exhumed his admiration of beauty and took a deep breath of air in. Deeming this as not a fairy-tale, he saw this place as a luscious swirl of color and beauty. Contentment ran through his frontal cortex, and nothing could contain his dopamine levels. This was all too much. Purple and orange vibrancy glared upon his eyes.

  Beauty intake postponed, Andrew heard a horn vibrate, quite possibly from an animate plant playing it. A surmass of buzzing roared from beneath him. A proliferation of dopamine bees sprung above the water spring, each bee coming out faster than the other. Hundreds of bees flew in random jagged directions.

  Putting his hand on Andrew’s shoulder, Herb said, “Inoculation Jamboree commences!” Turning his head to Andrew, he smiled.

  The animate plants re-established their “Jamboree” chant, but this time, they sang the chant with overreaching and underreaching musical notes. More bees exited out of the water springs.

  “Son of Nature, our community must protect itself,” Herb said to Andrew. “Sometimes, natural instinct makes us prone to danger and destruction. Inoculation Jamboree protects us from this unwanted natural instinct. Inoculation Jamboree may be a jamboree, but we see it as a necessity for protection.”

  Before Herb continued on, Andrew mentioned, “I see. How does this jamboree work?”

  Herb quickly left the vicinity of Andrew and moved his body to a different tectonic plate. Inducing maximum power into his leg fibers, Herb propelled himself up a great height and managed to grasp the furry thorax of a dopamine bee. Herb rough-housed with the bee and enwrapped his hand fibers around the bee’s antennas. Swinging the bee’s direction, he flew the massive creature towards Andrew’s direction. Calming down the creature with constant but gentle constraint, he set the bee down next to Andrew. Herb almost lost control of the bee on his way down. Herb ordered Andrew, “Deposit your beetle into the atmosphere, lending it free of its constant bondage.”

  Being a pest to Andrew, the beetle was let free from Andrew’s hands. The beetle took advantage of its freedom and rapidly reached high altitude into the atmosphere. Immediately, Herb unwrapped its hand fibers from the antennas, and the bee was let free.

  Right away, the bee sprinted its way up in altitude and headed towards the beetle. Aiming its stinger at the beetle’s brain, the bee was not fast enough and missed. Regaining its speed back up, the bee, once again, reached the beetle and successfully inoculated the beetle with dopamine into its brain. The beetle lost conscience and pathetically plummeted to the floor.

  Recalling an experience similar to the beetle’s, Andrew asked, “Why did it chase the beetle?”

  Herb emphasized, “It did not just chase a beetle. It chased an intruder.” The bee decreased in altitude and positioned itself on the floor.

  Andrew questioned this whole process. “Why did you want the bee to sting the beetle in the first place?”

  Herb simply stated, “For target practice.”

  The beetle lay motionless. Andrew said, “Why beetles out of all creatures?”

  As Herb picked up the beetle, he said, “Because the beetles feast upon Allure. They diminish our resources and provide no moral or survival significance to our community. Supplying the dopamine bees with beetles trains them to fight against intruders and improve their stinger aim. The bees defy all laws of gravity and protect us at all costs.”

  Andrew said, “That’s actually really amazing.”

  “I’m not done with what I have to say, Son of Nature,” said Herb. “There’s one aspect that makes the dopamine bees vital to our existence.”

  “And what is that?”

  Changing tone in his automated voice, Herb said, “Pollination of Allure.”

  Andrew asked, “Why do they need to pollinate Allure? Aren't there other pollinator creatures?”

  Herb said, “No. The bees are the only creature big enough to pollinate the stigma of Allure.”

  “That explains why those bees are so big.”

  Herb said, “Yes. It seems that Mother Nature made each creature have a purpose on our planet. For example, the tadpoles heals, giving them the name the Healers. The bee pollinates, giving them the name the Protectors.”

  Andrew said, “The cheetah devours.”

  “Well, maybe not all creatures. But you understand my point. Mother Nature is destined to protect this planet, and we cannot forget this,” Herb said. He slowly trod his way towards the animate plant hoard. “Speaking of Mother Nature, she is right behind you.”


  Turning his body around, Andrew was startled. “Jeez, Mom! Why do you gotta scare me like that?”

  Marie, eyebrows abroad, said, “Sorry, son. Don’t worry. I’m just spectating.”

  Andrew rolled his eyes up in confusion and said, “Okay . . . .”

  Herb disrupted this awkward silence and said, “Ah, Mother Nature, what a delight it is to see you. Inoculation Jamboree has been presented to Andrew, and the session has concluded.”

  She said, “Great to hear!”

  “If you don’t mind me reminding you,” Herb continued. “I think it is time for the Celebratory Son of Nature Feast.”

  Andrew thought, feast? Any word associated with food made him hungry. He had not eaten anything so far in the Spirit World ever since the beginning of the endeavour. The hypothalamus region of his brain still needed fulfillment. Luckily, Andrew remembered that all the food here was made of plant fibers, considering that he’s the most die-hard vegetarian.

  Marie said, “That’s right. Well, the quicker we move, the less we starve.” Mild chuckles seeped out of her mouth.

  Andrew asked, “Why don’t the animate plants use the dopamine bees to get there quicker?”

  “No,” Herb earnestly said. “The bees are not for local travel. They are only for long-distance journeys.”

  “Yes,” Marie agreed. Next to her, the animate plant group created a hammock-like structure with their entangling arm fibers. She fell into the malleable hammock and was cradled comfortably. No thorns surrounded the fibers. Enthusiastic in their cheers, the animate plant hoard completely left. This happened so fast that Andrew was left behind with Herb.

  Andrew felt a bit disappointed. But Herb was still by his side. Knowing what his next move would be, Andrew said, “Do your thing. ‘I must not know the distinct location and how to travel there, and blah blah blah . . . .”

  Herb said, “To your command, Son of Nature. I was going to let you ride the bee separately, but, if you say so, I will carry you.”

  Andrew’s mind fizzled and regretted what it said. Herb covered his eyes and swiftly returned back to Allure with Andrew in his arm.

  Andrew opened his eyes and saw an extremely long wooden table that extended to the last animate plant in sight. The table was positioned next to his mother’s wooden “palace.” Empty-handed of chairs or silverware, the animate plants sat on the convoluted tree branches. His mother sat at the end of the table. Eating with wooden plates, they ate freshly-served blue beetles. Andrew’s inexorable hate for beetles intensified. The beetles , of course, comprised of chlorophyll, glucose, and other plant-based nutrients. Andrew conjured in his head another reason why they would use beetles in Inoculation Jamboree: so that the animate plants could eat them. The animate plants collaborated and spoke with each other. Andrew stood on the opposite end of the table from his mother.

  “Hi, Andrew!” Marie yelled. “It’s so great to see you engage in our feastly activities.”

  Andrew couldn't comprehend what she said. Her vocalled vibrations diluted with the racket of the animate plants. Herb, like last time, stood next to Andrew. Developing a pre-conceived notion, Andrew knew Herb was going to order him to sit down. So, Andrew enacted this prediction and sat at the end of the table.

  “Please” Herb soft-spokenly said. “Nevermind.”

  Chomping like carnivores, the animate plants ravenously ate the beetles . Before grabbing the food, Andrew took a step away mentally from the dinner. He wanted his mind to be in check with time, or at least the Spirit World timezone.

  Nightfall hit, and he realized it was his third day in this place. Four more days remained.

  Marie said, “Andrew, feel free to eat some of our condiments. They’re quite scrumptious.”

  “Noted,” Andrew said. On his left an animate plant picked up a beetle off its plate and placed it on Andrew’s plate. Noticing this donation, he said, “Thank you.” The animate plant nodded its head left and right. “Why do you guys sing during Inoculation Jamboree?”

  Herb, finishing his delectable chewing, said, “For rhythmical purposes.” His voice changed to the monotone voice. “Andrew, this is the interdimensional communicator system. The reason they sing with rhythm is so that their beta and alpha neural waves can be in synchrony. The bees end up falling in this synchrony as well, giving them a better ability to focus and work as a collective unit. Rhythm can make any group work as one. This is why the dopamine bees are so successful in targeting the beetles.” Herb’s voice came back on. “We thrive through music.”

  Andrew said, “Pause.” He looked at his mother. “Mom, did you just see and hear that?”

  “What? Herb’s voice?” Marie asked.

  “No. That automated voice,” Andrew said.

  She said, “No, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” She returned to her eating.

  Andrew couldn’t figure out how this voice spoke to him. Why couldn’t his mother hear it if they were both in the Spirit World?

  Herb, changing back to the automated voice, said, “Andrew, after hearing your thoughts, I can tell you why. You are physically alive and well using the machine. I still have complete access to your brain and conscience. I can read your thoughts and dopamine levels at all times. Your whole brain is opened up to me. Your mother, on the other hand, is dead and not using the machine, which means that I don’t have control of her brain or conscience. Only physically-alive guests can hear the benefit of my voice.”

  Andrew thought, why would I want to hear your voice?

  The voice said, “So that I can help direct you in this foreign land. I provide and welcome service to new guests of the Spirit World. Once you physically die, I will have no control of your brain, and you will no longer have access to my voice.”

  Andrew thought, dying physically sounds awfully better to me.

  The voice said, “Farewell.”

  This creeped Andrew out too much. A computer was always listening to his brain. Moving his mind back to where he was, he saw he was at the feast table. Poking and playing around with the beetle, while still being too afraid to eat it, Andrew asked, “So are all the creatures plant-based here?”

  Herb, sitting down on Andrew’s left, said (with his real voice), “Indeed. All creatures of the Forest are Plant .”

  Reassuring his question, Andrew asked, “No blood exists?”

  The animate plants cut their chattering and dead silence broke loose. Dead center of Andrew’s vision, Marie stared directly into her son’s eyes, dropping the beetle from her hands. Herb also stared at Andrew with discontent.

  Mortified, Andrew disliked their morbid facial expressions. He asked, “I’m just asking if blood—”

  Herb disidainly exclaimed, “No one speaks of blood!”

  Andrew asked, “How come?”

  Herb, lowering his voice, said, “Our ancestors have had a horrendous relation with blood. Dark times arise when blood interferes with the Forest.”

  Andrew asked, “What exactly happened though?”

  Herb, placing his arm fibers on his large mouth, said, “It-it-it was—”

  Marie said, “It would be best to not speak of this matter. Dark times require dark stories, and it is, thus, too distressing for this to happen.” She clapped her hands together. “I say we forget this turbulence and enjoy some mouthwatering beetles.”

  The animate plants revamped their cheers and continued back to their chattering. Marie went back to eating her blue beetles. Stricken by their fast approach to mutuality, Andrew still felt confused with all of this.

  Herb said, “Eat you beetles.”

  CHAPTER 14:

  Why not speak of blood?

  What more can they fear these flower buds?

  Andrew despised beetles.

  Everything in this dimension was null.

  Andrew, who had recently finished the feast, sat in his teepee-like structure. He had faked eating his beetles by shoving them in the mud while at the feast. The place he was now at provided a lukewarm te
mperature, and Andrew settled in cozily . Dark outside, Andrew slowly fell asleep.

  Propping up his body to start off a new day in this foreign dimension, Andrew stretched his muscles and exited the teepee. Checking behind his back, he heard a pretty high-pitched grunt. Behind his teepee were the embryonic trees. The eggs shells contained no embryo; they all had hatched. Getting a closer look, he saw small furry monkeys, veiled in a light reddish color. They released mild punches at each other, engaging in playful brawls. They appeared the same as a monkey from Earth, but Andrew spotted one subtle difference. Each monkey had two eye sockets but only one eye pupil. The black-colored eye could revolve from one white eye socket to the other by travelling under the nose gap. Hence, the monkey only had one elongated eye socket that stretched from one eye hole to the other. Andrew thought, freaky. The interdimensional communicator system agreed with him. Get outta my head , Andrew thought.

  The voice said, “Will do.”

  Andrew remained startled. He didn’t know what to do with them. Estimating there were about twenty of them, he picked up one of them from the floor. The monkey from its left socket moved its pupil to the other one to get a better look at who was carrying its body.

  Andrew became frightened of these babies. Setting the monkey down, he left the area of his “house.” Due to his “house” being positioned directly under the Allure flower, he managed to grab onto a hanging branch that connected to the large petal. He climbed it and made it onto the flower petal. Before walking too astray from the teepee, he remembered (in Herb’s real voice), they are not your property but your children. You feed them. You nurture them. Andrew thought, ehh . . . who cares. They’re just monkeys. He needed to start prioritizing things that only pertained to himself. He was done with people bossing him around.

  He continued walking forward onto the petal. He saw casual walkers, as in animate plants, of course. A crescendo of buzzing ascended near Andrew. In the sky was a dopamine bee. The bee landed on the stigma of Allure, and its stinger morphed to a bright yellow color. It contracted its stinger, and pollen transferred to the stigma. The animate plants near the vicinity released joyful cheers. One yelled, “Allure lives on!” The bee left the vicinity.