Spirit Intercom

by Sean Adami

  Andrew thought, isolation.

  He stared at the floor blankly, unable to think any more. Still looking down, he walked on the flower petal, feet abrim to the petal’s edge. Finding his branch, he grabbed it and slid down with kinetic energy. Now that people ignored him, he could finally savor some rest. Entering his teepee, he closed his eyes, laying down with hands behind head . He desired to reenact a sloth’s day in life. Not having to do anything until dusk, he rested. He was interrupted with a vocalized repercussion after just one minute of rest. Even though this interruption was small, his infuriation was gigantic. Coming out the teepee, he didn’t see the culprit guilty of the noise. He went back to his teepee, but he heard the noise again. Sprinting out the teepee, he looked at all directions, and in front of his feet, a ferret popped out from the mud. Opening its mouth, the ferret produced a loud bass noise. Andrew thought, burrowing bass ferret. This was the most bizarre creature he had seen—still cute though. Drawing closer to it, he studied its face. The creature spattered a tiny white bead into Andrew’s open mouth. Coughing it up out of confusion, the bead slithered down his esophagus. His throat felt dry. Angered by the ferret, he kicked away at it, leading the creature to swoop under the mud in disappearance.

  Containing himself, he settled back into his teepee. The moment he laid his back on the floor he fell asleep, completely out. Moments thereafter, he woke up, nose stuffy. Time expedited before he could even perceive it, as in nightfall had arrived. Outside the teepee opening, Herb, appearing disgruntled, stood, tapping his wooden fingers impatiently.

  Lacking any energy, Andrew closed his eyes again. Herb loudly hissed, giving Andrew a jumpscare. Herb said, “Son of Nature! What’s the meaning of this? You were expected to journey off now. Dusk happened one hour ago! We were looking all over for you”

  Rubbing his eyes, Andrew said, “Oh. That’s unexpected. Let me sleep in just a little more.”

  “No,” Herb declared. “We need to leave now. We become more subject to risk every minute that you waste. Get up!” Grabbing his shirt, Herb lifted the sleeper’s body up.

  Obtaining more energy, Andrew said, “Sorry about that. This um . . .” He had trouble remembering. “This ferret thing spit this weird substance into my mouth. It made me super tired for whatever reason.” Herb guided Andrew out of his teepee.

  “Oh, the burrowing bass ferret,” Herb completed. “When startled, they launch a highly-enhanced isovaleric acid chemical into their opponent.”

  “Iso-what?”

  “Acid. It’s a chemical that makes other people prone to drowsiness. Isovaleric acid deviates from the valerian plant, but they developed the ability to store the chemicals in their gullet.”

  “That’s weird. Are we going now? I’m not ready.” Andrew remained sleepy to some standard.

  Herb reclaimed, “Yes, we’re going. Now. Harriet is ready too. We must meet with Mother Nature before we venture on.”

  “Sounds like a plan,” Andrew secreted out of his mouth. “How much longer ‘ til the chemical wears off?”

  “I’d say a few more hours. I will carry you.” Sixth time’s a charm. After carrying the Son of Nature like a baby, Herb arrived to a hoard of plants with Harriet, the baby, and Marie. Herb threw Andrew to the floor like a dead body to display to his mother. (Some may find this funny, if they have a convoluted sense of humor.)

  Looking at Harriet’s mouth upside-down, Andrew said, “Harriet, you ready for this trip in the name of some supernatural being?”

  Bluntly, she said, “You think I want to be here too? If I didn’t volunteer, I would’ve been killed too.” Everyone could hear what she said, eliciting a situation full of awkwardness. Andrew laughed at her upside-down mouth. It was funny-looking.

  Marie said, “Well, then. Let’s get this started.” Directed towards the crowd, she said, “Who here is ready for salvation?”

  In a distinct loud cheer, they yelled, “We are!”

  Andrew still laid on the floor. Still in his own world, he asked, “Why is there a baby here?”

  Harriet asked, “Why is your body on the floor? Are you okay?”

  “I’m more than okay. Don’t worry about me,” Andrew said.

  Herb said, “He’s intoxicated with isovaleric acid. Not a big deal.”

  “Burrowing bass?” Marie asked. Herb nodded his head left and right.

  Hedga, who was also there, said, “Set your destination southbound. I can envision our safehood. We are so close. Son of Nature, Herb, and Harriet, best of luck, even though Esse will protect you guys along your voyage.”

  Marie said, “In addition to luck, make sure to maintain yourselves. Keep your health at a steady level. That is why I present you guys with hydrophilizers.” She held three of them in her right hand. “These hydrophilic straws allow you to suck water out of various plants. May they provide significant use to your survival.” She handed the three to Herb, who gave one to Harriet and gave one to dazed-out Andrew. Herb thanked Marie. She said, “Hop on a bee and get on going! Our kind depends on you guys, and, furthermore, Esse bless!”

  Harriet thanked her too. Herb said, “Rise, Son of Nature. No more lying around.” The crowd riled up in the background. Raising his arm up, Herb gradually lifted up the unresponsive clump of meat. Now in his hold, Herb carried him for a seventh time.

  Having arrived at where Inoculation Jamboree first occurred, Herb got out a small horn that was attached to his wooden torso. Emitting a pure G# chord, the bees swiftly jarred out of the inner holes. A beetle presented itself to Herb, which was carried by a smaller animate plant. He released the beetle into the open air. The animate plants began their chanting. A bee attracted to it, chased it, and stung it. Herb launched himself onto the bee’s back, suppressing its scathing absurdity. Ushering the bee to the ground, he conquered the bee’s physicality. He said, “Harriet! This bee is designated for you and the Son of Nature. Please hop on it before I lose control of it.”

  Set beside Harriet, Andrew laid on the floor. She said, “Coming. Will Andrew be fine? His energy looks plain dead.”

  “Of course, he’ll be fine. Son of Nature, get yourself up. Time is shrinking.” Andrew yelled indistinct chatter. Herb got off the bee and picked him up from the floor like a courier for an eighth time. Harriet threw herself on top of the bee. Herb placed Andrew behind her. Repeating the same process, Herb captured a bee for himself.

  Andrew’s body remained fragile and wobbly on the bee’s thorax until he reached an epiphany. He wasn’t going to fall off the bee this time. Reigns of terror gazed before his unwatchful eyes. Last time he fell off felt like a nostalgic distant memory. The isovaleric acid kicked in and erased his thoughts with drowsiness.

  Harriet pulled down the bee’s antennas, launching her and Andrew up into the sky. Hydrophilizer in loose pocket, Andrew secured himself onto the bee’s back by secretly tying a ductile vine around Harriet’s belt loop on the back of her pants. If he fell down, she’d be alerted or pulled down. It was genius, somewhat.

  Herb’s bee, in front of Harriet’s, propelled higher up and established a surmount altitude. Looking down, Andrew noticed the animate plants were specks. Allure was mighty small and green vegetation displayed the horizon 360 degrees. Harriet turned her face around and smiled at Andrew. Although it was night, light crept in small places of bioluminescence, whether it be the rivers or unseen creatures. Harriet asked, “You ready to explore, Andrew?” He wasn’t in the mood for talking. He was a bit sleepy. His eyelashes rested on his lids until he fell asleep. His quandary died out.

  CHAPTER 16:

  Was this journey to the rift legit?

  What did Andrew forget?

  Bonding efficiently with Harriet,

  Andrew rode the bee as a chariot.

  Andrew woke up. First thing off the bat, Andrew noticed they were way closer to the ground. Almost too close. Trees stood not that far from below. Andrew felt like himself. The chemical had worn off, and Herb was correct. Andrew said, “Jeez. How long
have we been flying?”

  Harriet said, “I’d say about seven and a half hours but not entirely sure because my sense of time on Earth is not exactly in check with Nirvana 74.” The bee was possibly lower due to the tiresome long flight.

  Her pretentious nature was too predictable for Andrew. The amplifying noise of the wings and buzzing clouded the back of his ears. Gusts of winds pulled Harriet’s hair back into his mouth. Wanting to speak to Herb, Andrew couldn’t because of the distance. He was growing impatient. Maybe a superficial conversation would extinguish some time.

  “Hey, Harriet,” he started. “So, where did you end up sleeping last night?”

  She said, “Huh? I didn’t sleep last night. I was awake riding the bee all night and still am.”

  “Oh yeah, that’s right. I was mixing it up with the night before that.” Now when he thought about it, he realized she got no sleep. He thought, that actually says a lot about her. Maybe I could help.

  “Your mom allowed me to sleep in her place. It was nice.” She stared off into the horizon. “Oh yeah, I forgot to say something too.”

  “Me too,” Andrew added.

  They both said, “You go first,” at the same time but with miniscule imprecision.

  Andrew again said, “You go first.” She made a shy nod.

  “How in the world was your mother in this dimension? It’s just so bizarre.”

  “It definitely is. It’s kinda a long story that I can tell you later.” Taking a pause, he said, “I was going to add that I can take control of the bee if you want.”

  “Sure,” she appreciated. “We might have to land so that we can reposition ourselves.”

  He said, “Alright. Let’s do it.” She zoomed the bee forward, propelling her bee in front of Herb’s.

  Turning her neck around, Harriet said, “Herb! I’m going to land to switch places with Andrew!” Herb didn’t react. Despite this, she gradually descended the bee down. Less trees were prevalent here. The bee finally landed on dirt, not mud. Harriet hopped off the bee, but she felt something caught in the back of her pants. Andrew collided with her and made a hard pounding to the floor. Harriet fell too. His belt loop vine carried him down to the floor. Andrew felt immense embarrassment, leading to stomach aches. He looked at Harriet’s face to see her reaction. While laying on the dirt, she cracked a grin and then laughed. Andrew was confused.

  He immediately said, “Sorry about that! I am an idiot.” Wanting to terminate this awkwardness, he quickly said, “I attached this vine thing to your belt loop so that you’d be alerted if I fell asleep and fell off. Must’ve been the stupid isovaleric acid that made me do something like this. And for some reason, I thought this would be a good idea so that I wouldn’t free fall off a bee a second time. But if you think about it, you would end up falling too if I fell, so this whole plan was stupid and—”

  Smiling, she said, “No, no. Don’t worry. That was really funny!” She cut the vine with her long fingernails. “Silly Andrew.”

  Andrew was confused but relieved that she’d laugh at his stupidity. He thought, her sense of humor is unique. He said, “Alright, whatever. I’ll lead now.” He sat in the front and Harriet was behind. “Is the place were going to even exist?”

  She said, “Just roll with it, like you said. This is just one big fairytale.”

  “Where’s Herb?” Andrew asked. “He didn’t land with us?”

  Twisting around, she said, “Nope. That’s pretty concerning.” Andrew rushed the bee’s antennas upward. He repeatedly pulled them down in worry of losing Herb. He pulled them pretty vigorously.

  “Hey, Andrew! Don’t yank them off. Be gentle.”

  Worried for time, he said, “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that I can’t afford to lose another person in my life!” Herb telepathically said in Andrew’s head, be natural but rational. He used less force on the antennas. The bee was now at a good height. Andrew, looking for Herb, came up with the conclusion: gone. “Where is he! I don’t know what to follow now. Which way even is the rift?”

  “Calm down. He’ll turn up,” she affirmed. Andrew relaxed his tense shoulders. He muttered affirmingly as well.

  “How far is this place? Why are we making a pilgrimage to this supernatural plant god again?” Blood pumped quicker to his brain and muscles.

  She said, “Andrew, don’t get so worked up. Just chill out.” She put her hand on his shoulder.

  Andrew said, “I’m not craving affection.” He denied her hand. His eyes were focused on finding his target: Herb. “I’m not losing this talking plant. He’s the only one who can provide us with any sense of direction.”

  In response to his frustration, she said, “Andrew, breathe.”

  He said, “My hypothalamus is degraded, my life is debunked, and I’m stranded on a bee! I mean, how did I even end up here? That damn gopher! Or was it a ferret? I can’t remember. I swear, if Herb doesn’t turn up, Imma freak!”

  Harriet said, “You’re mind’s all over the place. If you don’t feel good, maybe just set the bee down.”

  Still lost in his thoughts, he said, “I’m so gonna kill my father. That betraying son of a bitch! His eight years of lying to me! He always—” He saw Herb’s bee into the distance near the horizon. Quite afar from him, he sprinted the bee forward. Acceleration throttled. They both backpedaled and almost fell from the speed.

  They finally caught up with Herb’s bee. Looking closer, he saw there was no one on the bee. It was a loner bee. Andrew’s anger doubled. Harriet said, “Let me control the bee, Andrew, while you cool off. Really.”

  Andrew jittered his hands fervently. He quietly said, “You’re probably right.” She couldn’t determine his psychological state after this statement.

  “Okay then. Just set the bee down, and I’ll take control.” She spoke with as much precaution possible. He dipped the bee down and set it onto the dirt floor. Without words, they rearranged seating positions smoothly. Harriet took off and was back in altitude. Andrew felt lost in this dimension. Everything had felt off to him.

  He said, “How do you know what direction to go?”

  “I don’t,” she responded. “But I know I will end up finding Herb if I continue to move straight where we originally went.”

  Scratching his head he said, “True. Alright then. Well, I’m gonna rest, and just make sure that I don’t fall.”

  “Understood,” she said. Although she had zero sleep and he already had seven and a half, she still controlled the bee. He fell asleep, head on her shoulder.

  After a few moments of snoozing, Andrew was alerted. He heard Harriet’s voice. She said, “I see Herb! Just a couple hundred meters from us!”

  “Are you sure that’s him or is it an alone bee?”

  “Nope, it’s definitely him. I can see his spiky silhouette on top of the bee.”

  Still inattentive, he said, “Oh, that’s good to hear.” She hastened the bee forward.

  Peeking over her right shoulder, he saw Herb’s flapped-back petals on the outer rim of his head, flapped-back from the winds, of course. The bees were now side-by-side: Herb’s and Harriet’s. Esse shined Herb’s green eyes, illuminating a white reticle around each eye. It threw Andrew off a bit. Herb said, “I thought I lost you guys. It’s good to reconvene again, Son of Nature and Harriet.”

  Andrew said, “Thank god you showed up! I thought we would be lost forever.”

  Herb said, “Well, no worries, I suppose. It is awfully bright right now, and I reckoned that I lie down for a bit to rejuvenate myself.”

  “Oh, for photosynthesis?” Harriet questioned. Herb nodded left and right.

  “I’m setting down the bee. It may be a few hours until I regain my energy.”

  Andrew complained, “Hours! Jeez, man. If it takes that long, then I guess we better get it over with.”

  Herb said, “Just set up for camp, and maybe explore a bit. If you look below, you can see the lake and the diminished amount of trees.”

  “And why is
that?” Harriet asked. “Why not just the usual forest biome?”

  Herb mentioned, “The farther south you travel, the more different the biomes become. Even the creatures change considerably.” He turned his neck to the ground. “I must head down now.” His bee tipped and plunged downward. Harriet’s followed.

  A vast blue lake in the shape of an irregular oval was surrounded by a decent amount of trees. Herb placed his bee on the coast of the lake where dirt cemented the floor. Harriet placed hers next to his. Herb added, “And, unfortunately, it is known to be that the south grows more venomous the farther down you go. It’s not a fact, but it’s what my ancestors would profess.”

  Andrew looked around. No creatures were in sight. He said, “This place seems fine. It’s nice and quiet.” In addition to absorbing the light, Herb also drenched his body in the lake for water absorption.

  Andrew felt parched, according to his hypothalamus to the very least. He felt a bulge in his right pocket: the hydrophilizer. Pulling it out, he asked, “Herb, how does this device work?”

  “Just insert the straw into a plant, and it will secrete the water out of it. Suck out of it, and the water will flow to your mouth,” Herb suggested.

  “Sounds simple then.” Andrew noticed the wide variety of plants and trees, though less in number when compared with the north. “How far are we from the rift, Herb?”

  “Halfway,” Herb completed. “Equal distance from the north and equal distance from the south.” Andrew thought, obviously equal distance.

  “That’s actually pretty far,” Harriet said. “Probably only another 12 hours until we arrive there. I can handle another 12.”

  Herb was impressed with her devotion. “I might need to start calling you Daughter of Nature at this point. You’ve been a great help on our journey so far, and I appreciate it.”

  Neurological spikes navigating in his cingulate cortex, Andrew grew a bit envious. “I’m going to use the hydrophilizer.” Herb and Harriet continued talking in the background.