Second Time Around (Second Glances)

by Nancy Herkness

  She’d asked Emily first and received her blessing before lining up all the other members of the support network. It was a patched-together solution, but she knew everyone involved would do their best to make it work.

  “I won’t be able to pay you much,” she warned. Shaq’s food alone would cut into her debt payments, but she was tired of making all her decisions based on financial obligations. It might take longer to retire the debt, but at least she’d be living her life for more than money.

  Diego nodded. “Shaq’s my man, so I’ll do it for free.”

  “No way. You’re helping me out, so I’ll compensate you for it,” Kyra said, but she was moved by the boy’s selfless offer. It made her feel ashamed about hesitating to rescue Shaq because of her money problems. “I’ll give you a key to my apartment once we find out when Shaq can be released to me.”

  Diego’s eyes widened. “You’re gonna give me a key?”

  “It makes the most sense.” Kyra picked up another handful of cheese to sprinkle.

  “To your place.” She looked up to see what was making Diego so slow to grasp the concept. Amazement was written on his face. “You’re giving me a key?”

  “How else would you get in?” She dropped the cheese when Diego launched himself at her, wrapping her in a bear hug that squeezed the breath out of her.

  “Thank you, Ms. Kyra,” he said. “Ain’t nobody but Aunt Violet ever trusted me with a key to their place before. And that don’t count because I live there.”

  Kyra felt tears brim in her eyes. Such a simple thing to her but such a huge validation to Diego. That was why she loved working with these kids so much. You never knew when you were going to do something so right that their reaction made you cry.

  She hugged Diego back. “I’ll give you two keys since it makes you so happy,” she joked to cover her emotions.

  Diego stepped back and cleared his throat. “Min-Joo will be real pleased about this. She been so worried about Shaq.”

  “How’s he doing at Dr. Quillen’s?”

  “He’s missing his people and his buddies here. When I take him out of his crate, he always look around like he’s expecting someone else.”

  Kyra’s heart twisted. She’d tossed and turned last night as she debated whether she could handle the responsibility of a dog. But her time with Will had given her a taste of having love and caring in her life. Maybe Shaq couldn’t quote Shakespeare, but at least he would love her with all his big pit-bull heart. That sounded pretty good to her right now.

  “I solemnly promise to give Shaq the best home I possibly can,” she said, crossing her heart with her finger. “I’ll take him on long walks and find him a nice dog park to play in.”

  “He may not be allowed in a dog park. Pitties ain’t . . . aren’t always welcome. It’s tough when you look big and mean.”

  She had a feeling Diego spoke from experience, and that twisted her heart even more.

  Will stood beside a fidgety Isaiah at the front of the lounge. The boy was dressed in a bright pink polo shirt and new jeans to honor the occasion. On Isaiah’s other side, Diego held the about-to-be-adopted Khonsu by his leash.

  Emily Wade faced their little group and gave Isaiah an encouraging smile. The kindness and caring in her expression made Will understand why she was the perfect director for the Carver Center.

  Behind him, he could feel Kyra’s presence. She probably thought she was well camouflaged in the far corner of the lounge with a sea of kids in front of her, but he’d spotted her the moment he’d walked into the room. Everything and everyone else had faded into a blur when he found her, her ponytail falling in dark waves over her shoulder, her lips curved in that near smile he found so intriguing, as she listened to the woman standing beside her. He’d forced himself to turn away, even as his entire focus locked on her. He’d hoped the intensity of it would lessen but he craved her even more. The depth of his hunger shocked him. For both their sakes, he would respect the fact that she wanted to avoid him . . . unless his craving overpowered his self-control.

  Emily spoke, her voice clear and solemn. “We’re here to celebrate Isaiah Ford and his new K-9 Angel, Khonsu.”

  The cheering was raucous and jubilant with Khonsu’s excited barking adding to the volume. Emily made a gesture of pushing down with her palm, which made the kids—and the dog—go quiet almost instantly.

  “As we all know, having an Angel requires a commitment, so we ask you, Isaiah, to affirm your willingness to take on all the responsibilities of caring for a dog.”

  Isaiah nodded. “Yes, Ms. Emily. I be down with that.”

  Will caught the twitch at the corner of Emily’s mouth, even as she maintained her serious expression.

  “Good to hear, Isaiah,” she said before checking the note card she held. “I’m going to ask you a series of questions. I want you to answer them honestly.”

  Isaiah nodded again and Will saw that the boy’s fingers were knotted together. He dropped his hand to Isaiah’s shoulder and gave it a light squeeze of comradeship. The boy glanced up at him with a nervous grin.

  “Will you always be kind and patient with Khonsu, whether he’s being a good dog or a bad dog?”

  “Yeah, I will,” Isaiah said.

  “Will you spend as much time with him as you can whenever you are at the Carver Center?”

  “Yeah, ’cause he be my homie.”

  A murmur of approval went around the room.

  “This is an important one, because you should never feel alone or worried that you don’t know how to handle your K-9 Angel. And Khonsu should never suffer because you are afraid to seek out help,” Emily said. “Will you ask for help with Khonsu if he seems sick or sad or angry?”

  “I promise,” Isaiah said.

  “And this is the most important question,” Emily said. “Will you love Khonsu with all your heart?”

  “I already do,” the boy said, tweaking something in Will’s chest.

  Emily lowered her note card. “Diego, please pass Khonsu’s leash to Isaiah.”

  Diego’s huge hand dwarfed Isaiah’s as he ceremoniously presented the looped handle of the leash to Khonsu’s new master. “You picked a real good dog,” Diego said.

  Isaiah looked a little worried as he took the leash, but Will figured that was a good thing. It meant the boy understood that he had a significant responsibility now.

  Emily picked up a white box and flipped it open. Pulling out a small gold pin shaped like a paw print with wings, she fastened it on to Isaiah’s collar. “Congratulations on becoming the newest member of the K-9 Angelz,” she said.

  The cheers erupted again, and Will could swear he heard Kyra’s voice among them.

  “Congratulations on your new dog,” he said as he offered his hand to Isaiah.

  “Hey, thanks for standing with me,” Isaiah said, shaking enthusiastically. “That was poppin’.”

  Khonsu began to bark again, so Isaiah dropped to his knees and quieted his dog with a hug. Khonsu’s tail was wagging so fast it blurred as he licked Isaiah’s face and ear, making the boy laugh with sheer joy.

  A sudden certainty flowed through Will. He needed to be part of this, not as a guest but as an integral participant. He wanted to work with these kids, not just write a check. To help them succeed in the paths they dreamed of taking.

  The audience began to converge on the newly minted K-9 Angel, so Will stepped back to stand beside Emily.

  He watched Diego, the kid Kyra had told him was loading up on science courses so he could become a veterinarian. And Isaiah directing traffic around his dog to keep Khonsu from being overwhelmed by the crowd. Maybe the boy would become a historian since he liked the Spartans so much.

  Then his gaze swung to the corner where Kyra had been lurking, but she was no longer there. Amazing that he hadn’t felt her absence, but too many emotions were buffeting him at once.

  “Excuse me,” he said to Emily. “I’ll let Isaiah bask in the glow of his initiation a little longer
before I start the history lesson.”

  “You were so good to take time out of your workday to be here,” she said. “Isaiah was walking on air when you accepted his invitation.”

  Just his presence made a kid happy. He felt a new buoyancy in his step as he wove his way through the lounge to the stairs.

  Because there was only one person who would understand.

  Kyra hadn’t had quite enough time to finish kitchen cleanup before the adoption ceremony began, so she scrubbed melted cheese from the last of the baking sheets before slotting it into the drying rack. She wasn’t in a rush to get out of the center since she figured Will would be tied up for at least another hour with his history lesson.

  She pinched the bridge of her nose as the pain of seeing him again flared through her. She’d tried to brace herself for it, but when he had walked into the lounge in a navy suit that made his blond hair glisten by contrast, her knees had nearly buckled underneath her. She’d seen him start to scan the room, so she’d quickly started a conversation with another staff member, giving her a natural reason to look away.

  But she couldn’t ignore him once the ceremony began. He stood a head taller than everyone else in the room, even Diego. Her heart had squeezed when Will put his hand on Isaiah’s shoulder and gave the boy a reassuring smile. She’d had to close her eyes to keep the tears at bay.

  As soon as Emily had congratulated Isaiah, Kyra had fled back to the kitchen. It was killing her to see Will without being able to touch him or even talk to him.

  She heard footsteps coming down the stairs—heavy, masculine ones. She knew she’d tarried too long as dread and nervous excitement did a tango in her chest.

  “Kyra.” His voice held a strange mix of elation and hesitation.

  She took a moment to steady herself before she turned from the sink to find him standing in the kitchen doorway. Now that he was so close, her longing was intensified.

  “Hey, Will.” Incredible that she could sound so casual. “To be honest, I wasn’t supposed to be here. I’m running late.”

  She grabbed her backpack from the stool, expecting him to take the hint and move out of her way.

  Instead he stretched his free hand partway toward her before dropping it in an indecisive gesture that was unlike him. “I hoped . . . but you’re late.”

  She knew it was a mistake but she couldn’t stop herself. “I have a couple of minutes.” After all, he’d co-opted his own sister to fight the center’s legal battles. “Did you need something?”

  He closed the distance between them, so she had to look up at him. She took two steps backward and hit the edge of the kitchen counter, but at least now she wasn’t inhaling his clean, male scent with every breath. His jaw tightened when she retreated, although he didn’t follow her. He ran a hand over his hair, rumpling it in a way that brought back memories of early mornings in his bed. Not good.

  “I wanted to tell you . . . I’m going to give it a try.” He nodded. “Teaching.”

  He’d listened to her. Satisfaction warmed her, as well as genuine happiness for him, but she kept her response to merely polite. “I’m glad. You’ll be an inspiring teacher.”

  “You’re the only person I knew who would be happy about it,” he said, his gaze locked on her face.

  “Your family will be, too, once they see how much it means to you,” she said, although she had her doubts about his mother.

  “You freed me to do this,” he said.

  “You freed yourself when you refused to go to law school,” she said.

  “That felt more like rebellion. There’s a difference.”

  She got it. “You were still reacting to their expectations, not finding your own road. But it was the first step. And now you’re taking the next step. Congratulations!”

  As she swung her backpack onto her shoulder, a disturbing thought struck her. “You don’t plan to teach here, do you?” she blurted out.

  All the animation vanished from his face, replaced by a stricken look that made her feel as though she’d kicked one of the dogs in the K-9 Angelz.

  But Will stood his ground, his gaze still burning into her. “We were good friends before. I miss that.”

  Kyra shook her head, even as temptation plucked at her heart. “We already had this conversation. I can’t do it, Will. Not with the way I feel about you.”

  He jerked as though she had struck him. “I don’t know how to change that.”

  “You can’t. I can’t either.” She kept her hands fisted by her thighs to stop herself from pressing her palms against the warmth and solidity of his chest. Not even because she wanted to kiss him but because she wanted to take comfort from him. “I was in love with you at Brunell. Seeing you again in New York brought it back to life.” She tried for a smile. “You should be flattered. Most college crushes don’t survive the fifth reunion encounter.”

  “I’m the one who screwed this up with the job offer. I want to make it right.” His voice was surprisingly raw.

  “It wasn’t right from the very beginning. It couldn’t be. The job offer just made that crystal clear. Don’t blame yourself. It’s just as much my fault.”

  “No!” He chopped his hand through the air in denial. “There is no fault in loving someone honestly. I’m the one who’s missing something important that keeps me from loving the most extraordinary woman I know.”

  She squeezed her eyes closed to shut out the passion lighting his face as he called her “extraordinary.” If she listened to him any longer, she would stop caring whether he loved her or not and let him draw her back into his life. Until he found someone who could reach his heart.

  The agony that seared through her at the thought of Will lighting up in the presence of another woman ripped away the haze of temptation. She opened her eyes and slid sideways so she had a clear path to the door.

  Then she braced herself to meet his gaze. “I’m not strong enough to be friends with you. No matter how much I’d like to be. For my sake, please don’t ask me again.”

  She watched the struggle on his face. Will had never given up easily but his innate gallantry would make it impossible for him to refuse her request. What she hadn’t expected to see was the cloud of loss in his eyes.

  He stepped aside in a movement of chivalrous acquiescence, the slight lowering of his head pure elegance. “My apologies. I understand your position. I wish . . .” He shook his head. “I wish you all the best.”

  “The same to you. Always,” she said, finding it hard to force the words past the fist squeezing her throat.

  She felt him in every molecule of her body as she walked past him, knowing she would never again be able to claim him even as a friend. She had cut the ties between them with a finality that felt like a sword slashing through her heart.

  Will watched Kyra walk out the door, her backpack swinging from one proudly squared shoulder in a way that somehow signaled how firm her decision was. How many women would have the bone-deep honesty to admit to loving a man who couldn’t return that love? How many more would be able to say it and then walk away? Her strength knocked the breath out of him.

  He heard the front door close with a solid thunk that cut him off from her forever. An ache of loneliness rolled through him, almost worse than what he’d felt Saturday morning because then he had still hoped for her friendship. Now that had been taken away.

  He slumped back against the counter, his hands braced beside his hips.

  How had she become so important to him in such a short time? If he’d thought about her half a dozen times since college, he’d be surprised. They’d met again by pure chance, yet she’d somehow shifted his whole perspective on his life. She’d challenged him, shaken him out of his rut, made him smile, according to Greg, and heated up his nights in a way he hadn’t realized he was missing. She’d even changed his relationship with his father.

  “Mr. Will?” Isaiah appeared in the doorway, followed by Jayden, Zion, and a couple of other kids. “I put Khonsu in his crate,
so we ready to hear about the Spartans.”

  Will must not have straightened away from the counter fast enough because Jayden asked, “You okay?”

  He had to look like crap if an eleven-year-old kid would ask him that. He put some steel in his spine and smiled. “Just a tough day at the office. Let’s go back upstairs where the chairs are more comfortable.”

  “My brother got me a DVD of 300 but my mama say it’s too violent, so I can’t watch it,” Zion said as they headed for the stairs.

  “How does your mother feel about you reading a book?” Will asked.

  “She always trying to get me to read stuff.”

  “Well, I brought some books for you, so you can read all about the Spartans with her blessing.”

  As they trooped up the stairs with the boys chattering about Leonidas and the Persians, Will felt a thrill of exhilaration about his new future.

  But without Kyra, it seemed to echo in the hollow spaces of his chest.

  Chapter 19

  For Thursday’s meal, Kyra had chosen a dish that required her to chop onions. That way she could blame her red-rimmed eyes on the pungent fumes instead of a night spent crying over Will. Emily wasn’t fooled, but no other staff members had looked at her with pity, so her camouflage seemed to be working.

  She’d been second-guessing herself ever since the day before, wondering why she couldn’t find the strength to be friends with Will. She’d done it in college. But Babette had provided a handy barrier to her feelings, so she’d been able to tamp them down to a manageable level. With nothing to stop her now, she’d plunged into love with him without a moment’s hesitation. Stupid move.

  She picked up another onion and whacked the ends off with more violence than necessary.

  “Ms. Kyra?” Diego looked around before he slipped into the kitchen as though he didn’t want to be seen. “I gotta talk to you. In private.”