Heart of Light

by T. K. Leigh

  “Are you okay?” Cam asked, his voice tranquil.

  “I’m fine,” she said quickly, trying to hide how unsettled she was. Spinning around, she walked past him toward the house, keeping her eyes lowered. Adrenaline coursed through her veins, making her entire body still shake in apprehension. Just the thought of being found made her sick to her stomach.

  “Wait up!” he called out. “What is going on? Who are you running from?”

  Jolene faced him, her eyes blazing. “Stop pretending you know so much about me, Cam,” she said snidely, thinking that it would be so much easier if he would go back to acting like the asshole he was earlier that morning. Now that he was acting like a compassionate, caring, and kind individual, she felt her resolve beginning to crack. All because of a pair of sympathetic silver eyes and a warmhearted smile.

  “You don’t know a thing about me, or where I’ve been, or what I’ve been through,” she continued, her voice raised. “I don’t need someone like you in my life…someone that changes personalities on a whim. I need…” She trailed off, taking a deep breath. “I just need to be alone.” She walked away.

  “No one needs to be alone. You need a friend. Let me be your friend.”

  “I already have a friend. One without this multiple personality disorder that you seem to be suffering from.” She spun around, facing him again. “And what were you doing in the house anyway? I understand that you own it and all, but I value my privacy, and every time I come home, I don’t want to have to be worried that…”

  She stopped short, the panic of him finding her returning as she scanned the beach. She felt exposed standing out in the open on the street where anyone could see her. She rubbed her arms, trying to warm her body from the chills running through her from the thought of walking into her house and seeing him there.

  She could picture it all in her head, clear as day. He would sit on her couch, cross-legged, sipping on a scotch, his appearance inviting and soothing at first. His eyes were always gentle and kind, the perfect mask to hide the horror and pure evil that cursed his soul. He would simply watch her, scanning his eyes over every inch of her body, licking his lips in a sinister and vile way as he planned what he had in store for her. “Come, Jo-Jo Bear,” he would say, holding his hand out. “Come show me how much you appreciate everything I’ve done for you.” She would bow her head in shame and bend to his will. It was what she was trained to do. She shuddered, the image in her head all too real.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you earlier.” Cam approached her as she nervously glanced up and down the sandy road. “I was hoping I would be finished before you got back from lunch,” he said sweetly. “Come here. Let me show you something.” He took a few steps past her toward the house before turning around and holding his hand out for her.

  Jolene looked at him skeptically, unsure of whether she should follow him. She met his eyes as he kept his hand outstretched to her, his expression pleading with her, and she began to feel safe after her brief moment of trepidation.

  “Fine.” She ignored his hand and continued past him up the remainder of the road. As she stepped into the living room, Cam behind her, she spun around to face him. “So, what is it you want to show me?” she asked, protectively crossing her arms over her chest.

  He took several cautious steps into the kitchen area. “This.” He opened the refrigerator. “I know you don’t have a car, so I wanted to make sure that you had some food. It gets expensive eating out all the time. I didn’t know what you liked, so I got a little bit of everything.”

  Jolene gawked at him, shocked. She barely heard a word he was saying as she looked at the fully-stocked refrigerator, wondering why a complete stranger would do something like that for her. She slowly made her way to the pantry, Cam’s voice becoming simply background noise. Earlier that morning, the cupboards were practically barren. Now, they were overflowing with essential items, as well as more food than she could possibly eat over the next month.

  It just didn’t make any sense. Why did he go above and beyond what was expected of him? Why would anyone go out of their way to help her? Unless…

  “I see what’s going on here,” she said quietly, interrupting Cam as he was telling her about a local fish market on the opposite side of the island where he had picked up some fresh salmon.

  “What?” he asked, his brows furrowed.

  “I get it.” Jolene’s expression turned into one of resignation. She took a deep breath before fixing her face into the look that she had mastered over the past decade.

  “What do you get?” He swallowed hard, the atmosphere in the room becoming tense. His heart thumped in his chest as he watched Jolene saunter across the kitchen toward him, her hips swaying in such a way that made him feel a sudden twitching in his pants.

  “You did something nice for me,” she said in a sultry voice, her body just a mere breath from his, trying to summon the inner strength to allow him to touch her. Just turn it off, Jolene, she reminded herself. Let the darkness come. It won’t hurt that way. “Now you expect something nice in return.” That’s how he worked. That’s how all men worked.

  “No! Not at all!” Cam said loudly, backing away. “What do you take me for?! Some creep?! I did not buy you groceries so you would sleep with me.”

  A confused look crossed Jolene’s face. “Then why did you?” she asked quietly. “I just assumed…”

  “You assumed I’m that big of an asshole that I’d expect you to sleep with me if I bought you food?” Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair, softening his tone. “I may have been a prick this morning, but I assure you… I’m one of the good guys. I would never, ever take advantage of a woman like that,” he declared passionately, his eyes burning with sincerity.

  Jolene lowered her head, embarrassed.

  “Hey, Tomorrow. Look at me,” Cam said, his voice comforting. “Please,” he begged when she remained unmoving. “You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. Let me look at them.”

  She looked up, their eyes meeting and, for the first time in years, a unique sensation seemed to overtake her entire being…a feeling she had never encountered before in the presence of a man. She almost felt free. The one thing that she didn’t feel, the one thing she thought she would always feel in the company of a man, was fear. She actually felt alarmingly safe, even though she had yet to spend five minutes with him.

  A small laugh escaped and a smile spread across her face. “You really think so?” she asked, wiping her tears, hating that she had let him see her vulnerable side.

  “Yes. I really think so,” he said, reaching out to wipe the other tears that had fallen.

  Jolene immediately tensed up, taking a step back.

  Cam noticed her reaction and lowered his hand. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, trying to figure out what her story was, why she cringed before backing away in fear when he attempted to touch her. “I won’t touch you.”

  Jolene let out the breath she didn’t even realize she was holding. She turned around, hiding the terror on her face at the thought of someone touching her uninvited. Every touch reminded her of him, and all the other men she had been forced to “entertain”. She could no longer differentiate between a loving, caring touch and an ominous, perverse touch. They felt the same to her.

  “You should go,” she said, snapping out of her memories.

  Cam nodded his head in defeat. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to do something nice for you,” he explained as he made his way to the front door. Stopping, he turned to stare at her once more, her back still facing him. “To apologize. To prove that I am a good person.” He opened the screen door to leave just as he heard a sweet voice.

  “Jolene,” she said faintly. She faced him, meeting his eyes once more, the depth there stirring a sense of calm in the storm of her life. “My name’s Jolene.”

  Cam’s entire face lit up. “Jolene. Thank you for telling me your name.”

  “But, please…” Her demeanor turned
from one of calmness to one of desperation. “You can’t tell anyone that you know my name, or that I’m here. No one can know.”

  Cam closed the screen door, walking back toward Jolene, respecting her boundaries. “Who’s after you? Is it an ex-boyfriend or husband?” he asked urgently. “We can protect you. Me, and Benny, and the rest of the guys…”

  “No,” Jolene said, her voice firm. “You have no idea, and I’d rather keep it that way. Thank you for buying me some groceries. I’d just rather be alone, if you don’t mind. It’s better that way.” She grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and turned away from him, walking up the stairs to the second floor. “And you should stay far away from me,” she murmured, thinking Cam didn’t hear.

  But he did.

  Shaking his head, he left the beach house. “Easier said than done, Jolene.”

  ~~~~~~~~~~

  CAM COULD NOT GET Jolene out of his head the remainder of the afternoon. He tried to focus on a bit of research as he worked from his home office, but it was completely useless. His mind wandered, recalling how much of an ass he had been to her earlier that morning, and how beautiful she was when she gazed off into the distance, deep in thought, thinking no one was looking. But he was. There was a spark about her. And that’s what he was attracted to. Her spirit. Her wit. Her mouth. God, her mouth…

  Every time he closed his eyes, her brilliant eyes flashed through his mind, the blue unlike any he had ever seen. He felt a warmth spread through his entire body at the simple thought of being in her presence.

  But there was something else about her, too. She was a mystery…a mystery of which he wanted to get to the bottom. He couldn’t believe his luck when she finally told him her real name, but was what she said true? Could her life be in danger if anyone found out who she was or that she was living in that house? Based on her behavior, he had a feeling it was. He wanted to know why she was running. What happened in her past to damage her so badly that she cowered in fear of anyone touching her?

  He wanted to go back over there to talk to her. To assure her that he would help her. To let her know that she would be safe. But she said she wanted to be alone and to stay away from her. Could that be true? From the looks of it, she had been alone for a long time.

  Cam couldn’t take it anymore. If he couldn’t go talk to her, he needed someone he could talk to. Walking briskly out of his Victorian-style house just a few blocks from the downtown Fernandina Beach section of Amelia Island, he hopped in his Lexus and drove to Benny’s place on the south side of the island, hoping that Elsie was home from work. While he enjoyed Benny’s company, he really wanted to talk to his girlfriend to get her take on the mysterious woman who seemed to have captivated him almost instantly.

  “Cam!” Elsie said upon opening the door and seeing him standing in the hallway. “Everything okay?” she asked, noticing the frantic look in his eyes.

  He took a deep breath. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to talk to you.” He pushed past her into the ocean-front penthouse condo.

  “Ya know, Benny and I could have been getting it on,” she joked sarcastically, following Cam down the short corridor leading to the spacious living area.

  “Were you?” he asked, glancing around the penthouse for any trace of Benny.

  “Actually, he’s not home from work yet.” She walked into the gourmet kitchen and opened the wine chiller. “Wine?” she asked, observing Cam’s demeanor as he paced in front of the large floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room. The ocean ten stories below was turning a pinkish hue from the sun setting behind the tall condo building.

  He immediately stopped. “Yes. I need something tonight.”

  “I figured as much. You almost look like you’ve seen a ghost. But not quite,” she observed, pouring two glasses of Pinot Noir.

  “You’d make a great therapist, ya know that, Else?”

  She laughed, walking around the kitchen island toward Cam and handing him the glass of wine. “I’m a bartender. I’m everyone’s favorite therapist.” She sat down on the luxurious oversized leather couch and indicated for Cam to have a seat, as well. “So, tell me about Tomorrow.”

  Exhaling loudly, his gaze met Elsie’s. “She told me her real name.”

  “Seriously?”

  He nodded slowly, taking a sip of his wine. “There’s something about her, Else. Yes, at first I wanted to strangle that boyfriend of yours for bringing a girl that looked just like her back into my life. But the few times I’ve spoken with her today, they are nothing alike. Now, when I look at her, I don’t even see Olivia anymore.”

  His voice had a dream-like quality to it and Elsie couldn’t help but smile in response. “You like her, don’t you?”

  “I do, but there’s something about her. She’s mysterious and I want to figure out what she’s running from.”

  Elsie sighed, the entire situation feeling like the past was about to repeat itself. Again. “Are you sure you like the girl, or do you like her because you see her as someone you can fix?”

  Cam turned to face her. “What do you mean? I don’t like her just because I think she needs help.”

  “Oh, come off it, Cam.” She rolled her eyes. “Every girl you’re attracted to is messed up in one way or another. That’s what you like. I don’t know if it’s your shrink background or trying to make amends for what happened to your sister, but you only seem to fall for girls that appear to need fixing. Or, at least, need fixing according to you. Based on what Benny told me about Tomorrow and what I’ve seen with my own eyes, she’s ninety-nine shades of messed up.”

  Cam’s eyes went wide and his expression turned severe. He opened his mouth to defend Jolene, but Elsie cut him off before he could utter another word.

  “But she’s sweet, Cam,” she admitted, her voice soft and caring. “And nice. That just seems to be the type of girl you go for…emotionally unstable with a beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes.”

  “I am not only attracted to girls with emotional problems.” He stood up, indignant at what Elsie was saying to him. “And don’t even try to say it’s because of Marley.”

  Elsie snorted as she took a sip from her wine glass. “Oh really, Casanova? Name me one girl you were attracted to that wasn’t messed up in one way or another.”

  He crossed his arms, looking out over the ocean, searching his memory for someone he dated in recent history who was relatively normal. Long moments passed and he came up empty.

  “See? You have a type, Cam.” Elsie got up from the couch and walked over to the windows. Standing next to him, she placed her hand affectionately on his shoulder.

  He met her eyes, her expression full of understanding.

  “You know I love you. And I admire the fact that you love helping people so much that you seem to be attracted to women who are, in a way, lost. But is it healthy for you?” Her eyes searched his. “Today, right now, I see the old Cam again…the Cam that’s been missing from all of our lives since you met Olivia and pushed her back into the arms of the man she was in love with. I’m thrilled that you’re back and I’m definitely grateful that Tomorrow’s had this effect on you. I’m just worried that if you fall for her and it all goes to shit, you won’t come back to us next time.”

  “But there’s something about her, Else,” he declared passionately. “I’ve never felt this strongly about someone before. Even Olivia. I didn’t have this feeling toward her.”

  “Cam, you just met her! How can you be certain that you actually feel this way toward her and it’s not simply because you’re…horny?” She shrugged, unable to find a better way of putting it.

  He laughed a little in response before his expression turned serious once more. He wanted Elsie to know exactly how deeply he felt for Jolene in the short time since she had walked into his life.

  “Elsie, I went in the house.”

  Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. “When?”

  “Today. When she was visiting you. I felt so guilty for the way I had t
reated her when I first met her and I wanted to prove that I’m not an asshole. So I went to the grocery store and stocked the kitchen for her. At first, I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand being in that house, surrounded by the constant memories of everything that happened. But when I stepped inside, I didn’t feel Olivia. I felt Tomorrow… Her soul. It’s there in that house, even after just one night. Ever since looking into her eyes this morning, I’ve barely thought about anything else. Maybe it’s fate that Benny put up the house for rent without my permission. Maybe Tomorrow was brought into all of our lives for a reason. Maybe she’s exactly what I need to finally move on, like you’ve all been wanting me to.”

  Elsie sighed. “You know I’m a strong believer in fate, but I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

  They both stood silently, watching the last of the daylight disappear behind the tall building.

  “You really know how to pick ‘em,” she joked, punching Cam playfully in the shoulder before heading to the kitchen with her empty wine glass, grabbing her purse and keys off the kitchen island.

  “Wait. Where are you going?” Cam asked.

  “I’m taking your new love interest out for a night on the town. Get to know her a little bit more. Someone’s got to make sure she’s good enough for you, and it should probably be me.”

  He took several deliberate steps toward Elsie. “She said she just wanted to be alone.”

  She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Yeah. That was girl-code for ‘get the fuck out of my house’. She just didn’t want to be around you, which is understandable based on how Benny said you acted toward her this morning. I’m going over there and I’m dragging her out. If you’re really serious about this girl, you better turn on the charm, Casanova. You made a horrible first impression, and you’re going to have to pay for that.”