Unconditional

by Linda Rettstatt

  “I’m writing my memoir,” Francisco said, giving a French twist to the word. To Thomas he said, “It’s about time for lunch.”

  Memoir? Oh, please. “Have you no sense of propriety?” Brushing past Francisco, I growled, “Stay the hell out of my way.”

  Thomas followed me. “Meg. Wait. I thought we could have lunch.”

  “Not today.” I turned and kept moving until I reached my car. I slid behind the wheel and sat, my hands shaking. Is Francisco going to be the spoiler of every happy event I have for the rest of my life? Why did he have to show up here? And I wondered how I could to do this—be Thomas’s friend, his ex-wife, and a co-parent to our child without acknowledging Francisco as his significant other.

  I turned the key and stomped the gas, causing the car engine to race. Maybe Francisco will get hit by a bus. It was an awful thought, and I admonished myself. But not before I smiled.

  ~ * ~

  Audrey and I sat on the sofa with our Chinese take-out cooling on the coffee table while we studied the sonogram pictures. “Look at those tiny fingers,” I said. “Check out this one. It looks like the baby is smiling.”

  “I think that’s static in the picture.” Ever practical Audrey spoke.

  “I prefer to think my baby is as happy about this as I am.” I set down the grainy photo and reached for my plate.

  I picked up the two fortune cookies and tossed one to Audrey. “Here, see what the future holds.” I opened mine, read it, and laughed. “‘You will meet the man of your dreams’. Here, I got your cookie.”

  “Oh, no. I’m keeping my cookie. It says, ‘You will enjoy major success in your career.’ Maybe I’m going to get a promotion.”

  “And that excites you more than meeting the man of your dreams?”

  “Well, at least I know my career won’t cheat on me.” She bit her lip. “Oh, Meg. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

  “I know. And you could be right.” But she still looked pained. So I hugged her. “It’s okay. I know what you meant. Thanks for dinner.”

  I’d been getting to know my sister, seeing a side of her I’d not seen before. And this made me wonder about her comment about cheating men. Did someone hurt her once? A man neither our parents nor I knew about? I considered trying to set her up with someone I knew and trusted. But who? I thought of Juicy Julian Mayes. He was attractive, forty-ish, single, educated, well-mannered. But he was a client. And that created a major ethical conflict. Unless…

  Chapter Nineteen

  I stowed my briefcase beside my desk and returned to the front office. “Nikki, what’s my schedule for today?”

  She handed me the appointment book as she answered the phone. Julian Mayes was scheduled for three o’clock. “Great. Thanks.” I hustled back to my office and formulated a plan.

  At two forty-five, I called Audrey.

  “Meg? Is everything okay?”

  “Fine, but…um… I need to take my car in for…uh…uh…some recall on some…thingy. Anyway, can you come to the office and follow me in about an hour. Say, three forty-five?”

  “Can’t Nikki do that?”

  “She…uh…took the bus in today. Please? I know you’re at work, but it’ll only take about half an hour.”

  “Can I meet you at the car dealer’s?”

  “No. What if I break down before I get there. This could be a serious problem. Can you come?”

  “Fine. I put in a lot of overtime during tax season. I’ll take a few hours off. I’ll be there by four.”

  “A little before that, if possible.”

  “Okay. Will you meet me in the parking lot?”

  She was not making this easy. “No. Come inside. Nikki would like to see you, too.”

  That drew a confused look from Nikki who stood in my open doorway.

  “Okay. I’ve gotta go, Audrey. I’ll see you in an hour. Come inside. Don’t forget.”

  “Got it.”

  I hung up and glanced at Nikki. “Yes?”

  “Julian’s here. What was that all about?”

  “Nothing. Audrey’s coming by in a bit. I want you to buzz me when she arrives.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “But you told me to never interrupt a session unless it’s an emergency.”

  “It is. I mean, not a mental health emergency.” Unless you consider that I’ve lost my mind. “Just let me know when she arrives. And you can send Julian back now.”

  “Alrighty.” She headed down the hall.

  Plotting my sister’s love life was much more fun than worrying about my own future.

  Julian arrived looking as handsome as ever. I was happy that he’d chosen a soft blue sweater because it really showed off his eyes. And I wanted Audrey to notice his eyes. Next to his smile, they were his best feature.

  He filled me in on his week. He’d done his homework, and he admitted feeling less stressed. I tried, in a roundabout way, to explore his relationship situation. I knew he’d had a recent breakup, but what if he was in another relationship? How could he not be? He was gorgeous. “So, has anyone else noticed a difference in you? A co-worker? A…girlfriend?”

  Julian smiled. “The guy at Starbuck’s told me I look less harried these days. Does that count?”

  Shoot. No. “Sure, but… Is there anyone who’s…closer to you who…may have observed a difference?”

  He wrinkled his forehead in concentration. “Nope. No one.”

  I smiled. “Good. I mean, good that you’re feeling better.” I glanced at the clock. Three forty-eight. Where is Audrey? “So, um… Julian, what do you do to relax? Any hobbies or special interests?”

  “I like music. I enjoy going to the opera, when they have a decent season. This year is spectacular.”

  Zing. He likes opera. I’m already envisioning a marriage made in heaven. “Really? Did I ever tell you I have an older sister. Just a few years older. She absolutely loves opera. I bought her a pair of season tickets.”

  He lifted one eyebrow. “That was very generous of you. Those tickets aren’t cheap.”

  Tell me about it. I shifted my eyes to the clock. Three fifty-seven. Where the hell is she?

  Julian caught me checking the time and took it as a cue to stand. “Looks like my time is up for today. Should I schedule an appointment for next week?”

  Eek. I needed to buy time. “Let’s talk about that for a minute. Sit down.”

  He complied.

  “Do you feel you need an appointment next week?”

  “Not really. Perhaps in two weeks?”

  I nodded. “Two weeks. Yes, that would be good. Keep doing the homework I gave you, practice those techniques. Maybe we should go through the breathing exercise once—”

  Buzzzz.

  I practically leaped out of my chair. “Oh, excuse me. I need to take this. Stay put.” I picked up the phone. “Yes, Nikki?”

  She announced Audrey’s arrival.

  “Thank you.” I hung up the phone and turned to Julian, smiling. “I’ll see you in two weeks then?”

  He furrowed his eyebrows. “But didn’t you say you wanted to—”

  “The breathing exercise. Right. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Good. Let it out. Once more. Feel relaxed? Good. I’ll walk you out.” I was on my feet before he had his eyes open.

  Audrey leaned on the counter talking to Nikki when Julian and I reached the waiting room. “Audrey, you’re here. Oh, let me introduce you. This is Julian. Julian, my sister, Audrey. The one I just told you about who loves opera?”

  Julian flashed his killer smile and extended his hand.

  Audrey accepted and said, “Nice to meet you.”

  Nikki stared at me like I’d lost my mind. I had crossed an invisible ethical line, but in all fairness, I didn’t say his last name. I didn’t identify him as a patient. “Maybe you’ll run into one another at the opera.”

  Audrey flushed and glared at me.

  Julian politely released her hand. “This weekend is Madame Butterfly. Are y
ou going?”

  “Oh, yes. Saturday evening,” Audrey said.

  “Me, too. We should meet in the lobby during intermission for drinks. Compare notes.”

  Audrey looked like a deer caught in front of an eighteen wheeler. “Uh…yes…okay.”

  “See you there.” He turned and made his next appointment with Nikki, then exited, but not before giving us his million-dollar, dimple-deepening smile one last time.

  The door closed, and Audrey whirled toward me. “What was that all about?”

  “What? I simply introduced you and pointed out that you and Julian both like opera.”

  “That was a set up? With a patient?” She pursed her lips. “What garage are we taking your car to?”

  “I never said Julian was a patient. And I have to take the car to…uh…the Lexus dealer on McKnight. But now that I think about it, I can take it another day.”

  “There is nothing wrong with your car, is there?” She glared at me. “Meg, you have really crossed a line here. Probably more than one. That man is a client, and you violated his confidentiality and embarrassed him. Not to mention how I feel.”

  “Again, I did not say he was a client. I’m only trying to help. He’s a nice guy, and he loves the opera. He’s perfect for you.”

  She shook her head, but said nothing.

  I grinned. “Cute, right?”

  Audrey blushed, a smile tugging at her lips. “He’s cute.”

  “So, you’ll look him up on Saturday night?”

  “Correction. We’ll meet him in the lobby of the Benedum.”

  Nikki snickered behind the glass window, and I glared at her. To Audrey, I said, “I can’t meet Julian at the opera. It would be unprofessional.”

  Nikki doubled over in laughter.

  Audrey shrugged. “You are going with me. You’re the one who gave me tickets.”

  “I’ll have to keep getting up to go to the bathroom. It’ll be a distraction.”

  “Good thing we have aisle seats, then.” She turned away from me. “Nikki, it was nice to see you.” Facing me again, she said, “I will see you on Saturday. Since your car is running just fine, you can pick me up at five, and we’ll have dinner before the theater.” She gave a little wave over her shoulder as she left the office.

  Damn. Audrey has spunk. Who would’ve guessed?

  Nikki chuckled again. “You painted yourself into that corner.”

  “I just want Audrey to meet a nice guy and be happy. Julian is perfect for her. I think the introduction went well, don’t you? I mean, it was pure coincidence, the two of them being here in my waiting room at the same time.”

  Nikki rolled her eyes. “Yeah, must have been fate.”

  I sighed. “I did cross a line, though. I hope Julian will forgive me. Or at least not sue me.”

  “He won’t sue you. He seemed to be fine, though a little confused. Who knows? Maybe they’ll hit it off. Once you and Audrey meet him in the lobby on Saturday, use your bathroom excuse. The lines for the ladies room will be so long, you’ll be lucky to make it back inside for the second act.”

  “Brilliant. Just for that, I’m giving you the rest of the day off.”

  Nikki glanced at the clock. “Gee, thanks. I can use those extra fifteen minutes.”

  “Lock up when you leave. I have paperwork to finish.” I returned to my office. I should have been ashamed of my unprofessional behavior. Instead, I was pleased. I’d done a good thing. I hoped.

  ~ * ~

  Thank God I’d seen the movie version of Madame Butterfly so I could at least follow the story. At intermission, Audrey and I wound our way down the stairs and into the crowded lobby. I stretched my neck and strained to find Julian in the mob.

  A hand cupped my elbow. “Meg?”

  As I turned, Julian smiled at me, then at Audrey. He appeared to be alone. “What can I get you both to drink?”

  “Nothing for me. I’m going to find the ladies room. But you two go ahead.” I glanced around in search of the restroom sign.

  Audrey glared at me.

  Julian pointed in the direction of the restrooms and, as I inched into the crowd, I heard him ask if Audrey would care for a glass of wine. I took my time and came out of the restroom as the lights blinked to signal a return to seats. I didn’t even look for Audrey and Julian, but headed upstairs to my seat.

  Audrey hustled in seconds later, just as the lights went down. She leaned toward me and whispered, “I was worried. I checked the ladies room, but couldn’t find you.”

  “Sorry. I got out of there just in time for the lights to blink. I thought you’d already be up here.”

  Someone shushed us from behind, and we straightened in our seats like chastised fourth graders.

  If you love opera, you love Madame Butterfly. And if you don’t particularly love opera, you are still moved by Madame Butterfly. I stood to join in the applause as the cast returned to the stage for a final bow.

  “That was beautiful,” Audrey said.

  “It was okay.”

  “How can you not appreciate the beauty of opera?”

  I shrugged. “Not my thing. Maybe if they sang in English. So, are you going to see Julian again?”

  She frowned at me.

  “Audrey. Come on, tell me.”

  “There’s an art exhibit at the Carnegie. He asked if I’d like to join him tomorrow.”

  I squealed and drew disapproving stares from the more refined theater patrons. “I knew it. I knew you two would hit it off.”

  “Meg, we’re just meeting at the museum to see the exhibit. That’s all. I don’t think I’m really his type. No date. Just meeting there.”

  “Did he get your phone number?”

  “No.”

  “Did he give you his?”

  “No.” She turned me around and urged me out of the row and into the aisle. “It’s not a date. Period. No discussion.”

  Oh, there will be discussion. We threaded our way down the stairs and out onto Liberty Avenue. While we waited for the signal to cross to the parking garage, I asked, “What are you going to wear? You will wear your contacts, right?”

  “No. I need new ones, and if I wear the old ones, I’ll squint at everything.”

  “God, Audrey, you’ve been getting new contacts for six months.”

  “I haven’t had time. My glasses are fine.”

  “They make you look like an accountant.”

  “I am an accountant.” The signal changed and Audrey looped an arm through mine, pulling me across the street.

  “What about your hair?”

  “What about it?”

  “Maybe you should try wearing it up.” I stopped behind her and swept her long hair up off her neck. A sea of people parted to walk around us.

  Audrey jerked her head, freeing her hair from my grasp. “Meg, will you stop. What is wrong with you?”

  “I want you to look nice. For Julian.”

  She glared down at me. “Stop it. Right now. I don’t need you to fix me up with your patients. Yes, Julian seems like a nice guy. And, yes, we have similar interests. But that’s all. If you keep this up, I’ll call and cancel for tomorrow.”

  “Aha, he did give you his phone number. Which means he has yours.”

  “Only in the event one of us needs to cancel tomorrow. Which I will do if you don’t back off.”

  I raised my hands in mock surrender. “Backing off. I hope you have a nice time.”

  After I dropped Audrey at her apartment, I headed home. But I took the long route by the house I had shared with Thomas. I expected to find the house dark, but cars filled the driveway and sat parked along the street. It looked like a party.

  I pulled to the curb across the street, blocking the Andersons’ drive. I opened my car window to be greeted by the sound of music and laughter. And my heart cracked. I heard it like the calving of a glacier. I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t subject myself to this torture. But I couldn’t drive away.

  A tap on the passenger’s
window startled me and I yelped.

  Francisco bent down and looked through the fogged window. “Meg?” He motioned for me to open the window. And, like an idiot, I did.

  “Are you okay? Should I get Thomas?”

  “No. I mean, yes, I’m okay. No, don’t get Thomas. I was just leaving.”

  “What are you doing here? Do you need something?”

  I need the life you stole from me.

  He reached inside, unlocked and opened the car door and dropped into the passenger’s seat.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  He faced me. “I’m not sure what to say to you, but I think I should say something.”

  I felt trapped. I did not want to have this conversation. “There’s nothing you can say. Go back to your party. And, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention my being here to Thomas.”

  “Thomas and I didn’t plan this. We didn’t plan to hurt you. It just happened.”

  I stared hard at him for a moment. It just happened. “Things like this don’t just happen. People make them happen…or not. It’s a choice. Thomas made a choice, and so did you. I’m the only one who didn’t get a vote. Now, please get out of my car.”

  He pursed his lips. “I wish things could be different.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, well, don’t we all?” I clenched my teeth. “Get the fuck out of my car.” A couple on the porch looked our way, and I realized I’d been shouting.

  He reached for the door handle. “Fine. I was just trying to make peace. Don’t say I didn’t try.”

  I could hardly have argued that point. I drew in a deep, shuddering breath as Francisco exited the car and jogged across the street. My breath escaped in a whoosh. I dropped my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes. Maybe Audrey’s onto something. Maybe I should call her and tell her to just stay away from Julian and any other man. Who needs them?

  Chapter Twenty

  The next morning, I sat at my table sifting through a stack of bills. I picked up the phone to call Audrey, but set it down again. I felt like a mother hen, and I knew if I didn’t leave this alone, Audrey would bolt. And I could not grasp my need to fix my sister’s love life. Maybe it was because my own life was such a mess.