Unconditional

by Linda Rettstatt

  “It’s just you and me, then. I’m not complaining about that. I’ll see you on Saturday at six.”

  ~ * ~

  Audrey and Julian offered to stay with Ryan. I had chosen a Thai restaurant in the trendy district a few blocks from my house.

  David held my hand as we walked in the warm evening air.“Did your week get any better?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “No. I don’t know if I should tell you, but you need to understand…” I tugged him toward a bench a few feet ahead. We sat down and I faced him. “It’s about Thomas. That night he came by when you were at my house? He’s not seemed well for a while. Apparently, the doctors have discovered he has pancreatic cancer.”

  “Oh, God. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s hard to know how to feel. We’re divorcing, but he is Ryan’s father. And I…” I sucked in a breath. “I loved him once. I still care about him.”

  David put an arm around me and drew me close. “Of course you care. This is devastating for you. Did they tell him…I mean, does he have a prognosis?”

  “He left this week to go to the Mayo in Minnesota for some new treatment. But it will only buy him time.” I tugged a tissue from my purse and dabbed at my eyes. “I’m sorry. Some date, huh? If you want to take me home, I’ll understand.”

  “Do you want to go home?”

  We were half a block from the restaurant. “No. I may not eat much, but I need to be out for a while.”

  He stood and offered me his hand.

  Inside the restaurant, I excused myself to use the restroom and to repair my makeup. I joined David at our table in a far corner. “I’ve heard the food here is very good. I didn’t ask if you liked Thai.”

  “I love it. I’ve eaten here a few times, and your sources are right.”

  I asked David to order, since my appetite had waned. He talked about his plans for the farm and the family counseling center. I was grateful for his enthusiasm and that I didn’t have to try to converse. My mind kept wandering.

  “And then I think I’ll set my hair on fire.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Meg, did you hear what I said?”

  I flushed. “I’m sorry. I’m distracted. Not much of a date for you, I’m afraid.”

  He reached out and took my hand. “Sometimes life throws us a curve ball. It can’t always be fun and games. I enjoy being with you.”

  “My life is going to be even messier and more complicated now that…” I stared past David to a couple seated on the opposite side of the small restaurant.

  “Meg?”

  “Oh, my God.”

  “What? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “It’s someone I know.”

  Francisco’s eyes met mine and his face drained of color. He had been leaning intimately close to the same man I’d seen him with a few weeks earlier. Thomas was at a clinic fighting for his life, and Francisco was having an intimate dinner with someone else. Bile rose in my throat. “Excuse me.” I tossed my napkin onto the table and bolted for the ladies’ room.

  I fought back nausea and stared at myself in the mirror. What should I do? If I told Thomas, it would only cause him more pain. If I didn’t, Francisco would continue to use him. It’s none of your business.

  When I stepped out into the narrow hallway, Francisco was waiting. “Meg, I know how this looks, and I can explain.”

  “Oh, really. Then maybe you can explain why I saw you with the same man a few weeks ago. And the two of you looked just as cozy then. Who is he?”

  “No one you would know.”

  I stepped toward him, poking his chest with a forefinger until he was backed against the wall. “Look, you little bastard. You got away with destroying my marriage. I will not stand by while you cheat on Thomas and destroy him.”

  “Thomas will be fine once he makes up his mind who he is. Tell me, was he as dispassionate with you as he is in my bed?”

  My arm had a will of its own as it drew back. The slap echoed in the narrow space.

  Francisco pressed a palm to his cheek. “Are you crazy?”

  “Maybe I am. You’re lucky that’s all I’ve done. I can’t believe you. Thomas is in a clinic getting treatments, and you’re here partying with someone else.”

  The flash of his eyes told me Francisco didn’t have a clue what I was talking about.

  “Oh, God. You don’t know. He didn’t tell you.”

  “Tell me what?”

  “Nothing. Forget I said anything. I…I have to go.” I brushed past him and returned to the table.

  David’s eyes narrowed with concern. “What was that all about?”

  My hands shook as I picked up my purse. “Can we get out of here, please?”

  Before David could pay our bill, however, the restaurant host came to our table. “I’m afraid I must ask you to be seated for a moment. That gentleman claims you assaulted him.” He pointed toward Francisco. “I’ve called the police.”

  “I beg your pardon?” David said.

  “I did slap him.” I sat down.

  “Meg, don’t say anything,” David cautioned.

  A police cruiser parked outside with the blue rack lights flashing, and a female uniformed officer came into the restaurant. The host waved her over, pointed first to me, then to Francisco. The officer came to our table. “Ma’am, I have to ask you to remain seated until I find out what happened here.”

  I nodded, humiliation burning my ears. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Good.” She crossed to the table where Francisco sat, holding an ice pack to his cheek and looking wounded.

  Drama queen. I watched while he animatedly relayed his side of the story to the officer, punctuating it with a finger pointing in my direction. The officer took notes, nodded, then returned to my table. “He says you hit him.”

  “I slapped him. It’s been a long time coming.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he’s a…” I stopped and took a breath. “Because he destroyed my marriage and he’s…he’s going to hurt my ex-husband.”

  David stepped away from the table and opened his cell phone. I figured he was calling a cab.

  The police woman lifted an eyebrow. “He threatened your ex-husband?”

  “No, he didn’t exactly threaten him. He’s…God, how do I explain this? My ex is gay. That man is his lover,” I whispered. “But he’s cheating on Thomas with that other man. And Thomas may be dying. I can’t sit back and do nothing.”

  The officer shook her head. “I can’t get the simple drunk and disorderly cases. So, you admit you struck him?”

  “Yes, but it was a slap. That’s all. Open-handed.”

  “I’m going to need to see some I.D.”

  I opened my purse and removed my driver’s license.

  David stepped back to the table and held out his phone. “Excuse me, officer. My brother’s a county detective. Would you speak with him, please?”

  “This isn’t a county issue, and no, I don’t have time for a phone call.” She leveled her eyes on me. “Mr. Moreno wants to press charges. I’m afraid I have to take you to the station.”

  “You’re booking me for slapping that lying, cheating little son-of-a—”

  David held up a hand. “Meg, Preston will meet us there.”

  The officer removed handcuffs from the back of her belt.

  “Are those really necessary?” David asked.

  “I’m just doing my job, sir. I’ll take her to the Zone Two station on Centre Avenue.” She snapped the cuffs on my wrists and nudged me toward the door.

  Once I was settled in the back of the cruiser, the officer slid behind the wheel and reported that she was bringing me in. I watched David sprint toward my house to get his car and, no doubt, let Audrey know to start baking a cake containing a file.

  As the police car pulled from the curb, my tears broke free. Not from the embarrassment of being arrested, but out of grief. My grief. Grief over Thomas and the way he was being betrayed.


  Three hours later, I was free to go. Apparently, someone had talked some sense into Francisco. My money was on the big, hulking guy in a black tee shirt and gray suit jacket who towered over everyone else in the room. I soon learned he was Detective Preston O’Neill, David’s brother.

  Preston sat across from me at the table where I’d been ordered to remain. “So, you’re David’s new girlfriend?”

  “I…uh… We’ve been out a few times. Probably for the last time now.”

  He grinned. “I wouldn’t count on that, unless you were trying to get rid of him.”

  “David? No. He’s a great guy.”

  “Okay, so here’s the deal. I convinced the victim it would not be in his best interest to press charges against you. But he wants an apology.”

  I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. “Fine. Send him in. I’ll apologize.”

  “Yeah, well…he insists you apologize in front of other people. Out in the squad room. He wanted us all to go back to the restaurant, but I assured him you wouldn’t be welcome in there again.”

  “Great.” I gritted my teeth. “Let’s get this over with.”

  Preston escorted me to the outer room where Francisco, his date, David, and a group of six officers stood around.

  I stared at Francisco. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled.

  “Excuse me? I didn’t hear you. Could you speak up?” he asked.

  “I said, I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry for…” He lifted his eyebrows and waited.

  “I’m sorry I slapped you,” I said. And I was sorry I’d slapped him. I should have grabbed him by the nuts and twisted hard.

  Francisco took a step closer. “What did you mean about Thomas getting treatment?”

  “Ask him yourself.” I looked at the arresting officer. “Am I free to go now?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I shivered, and David removed his jacket and draped it around me. “Come on. I’ll get you home.” He glanced at Preston. “Thanks, bro. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “No problem. Nice meeting you, Meg.”

  I gave a backward wave as David ushered me out of the police station. Francisco started to follow, but I heard Preston call him back.

  In David’s car, I slouched down in the seat. “I have never been so humiliated in my life. I’ll understand if you want to slow down, push me out of the car, and keep moving.”

  “Are you kidding? I want to hear the whole story—your version. Who was that guy?”

  Chapter Forty

  Thomas returned from Minnesota on a Saturday and came by the following afternoon. He looked better than he had for months.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked.

  “Pretty good. No big side effects. I have a doctor here for follow up care.”

  “Good. So…um…have you talked with Francisco?”

  “About?”

  “Anything. I mean, you were away, so…”

  “Mostly about work. He’s been busy with a new project.”

  “He’s your assistant. Would it have to be your project?”

  “What is with the third degree about Francisco?”

  So the little weasel hadn’t told Thomas about our altercation. “Does he know you’re sick?”

  “He does now. I waited until I got back to talk to him about it.”

  “How did he take it?”

  “He’s upset, naturally.”

  Naturally? There is nothing natural about Francisco. “What exactly did the doctor’s tell you?”

  “They’re hopeful that the treatments will slow down the progress of the disease, maybe even put me into remission for a while.”

  “But not a cure.”

  He shook his head. “Is Ryan awake? I’d like to take him for a walk, if that’s okay.”

  “Sure. He probably needs to be changed first.”

  “I’ll do it.” He started down the hall, then turned. “Meg, thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  While Thomas and Ryan were out, I poured a cup of coffee and sat on the back porch. I was torn about whether or not to tell Thomas what had happened with Francisco, and about the other man. It would hurt him, and I’d be the one inflicting the pain. It could drive him further away from me. Then the worst possible thought snaked through my mind: maybe Thomas would die before he found out about Francisco’s infidelity.

  Thomas returned and fastened Ryan into his high chair. I dumped a handful of cheerios on the tray in front of the baby. “Would you like a cup of coffee or a soda?”

  “Just water for me. I need to stay hydrated with the meds they have me on.” He sat next to Ryan’s chair. “How’s David?”

  “He’s fine.” I twisted the cap off a bottle of water from the fridge and set the drink in front of him.

  “You’re still seeing him then?”

  “On occasion.”

  “Meg, it’s okay if you date. Not that you need my permission. I want you to be happy.”

  “Thanks.” I poured a glass of Coke and sat across from him. “Are you going back to work tomorrow?”

  “Yes. Though I wonder how much longer I’ll have a job. Francisco told me he’s heard rumblings because I’ve had to take so much time off.”

  “They can’t just fire you because you’re sick. What about short term disability?”

  He chugged the water. “They can do pretty much whatever they want. Alternative lifestyles aren’t popular at the firm. I try to keep a low profile, but Francisco’s not exactly in the closet.”

  “I’m sorry. It’s been rough, huh?”

  “Nothing I can’t handle. But… It might be good if you can get Ryan onto your health insurance. When… If something happens to me, he won’t have coverage.”

  I nodded. “I’ll do it this week.”

  “Let me know what it costs. I’ll take care of it.”

  I met his gaze. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

  “Nah. I have to get going. My mother’s expecting me at her place.” He kissed Ryan’s head. “See you soon, buddy.”

  I felt a void when the door closed behind Thomas.

  ~ * ~

  A month later, Thomas gave me the doctor’s report—he was responding positively to the treatments. Our conversations focused on his health and Ryan. Thomas’s mother cooked a huge Mexican dinner and invited all of us to come to celebrate the good news. Francisco was conspicuously absent, and no one asked why. We ate, danced in her back yard until the air began to cool, and then moved the party indoors.

  Over the summer, David and I began to see one another at least once a week. We laughed. We talked shop. We took long walks, sometimes with Ryan, sometimes just the two of us. We edged closer and closer toward intimacy, with kisses that grew more insistent, hands that explored and fondled, breathing that became ragged and heated. In my mind, I was still married until the divorce was final. But, who was I kidding? That was clearly a legality. A technicality.

  Summer cooled and took on the colors of fall. David suggested a drive through the mountains and picnic lunch.

  “That sounds wonderful. I love this time of year.” We were settled together on my sofa, and I’d burrowed in against his chest, his arm draped around my shoulders. We’d just come up for air from an intense session that left me overheated and him with a pillow in his lap.

  “Call Audrey and see if she’s free on Sunday. I’ll tell Preston to make himself available. I think it’s time those two meet,” he said.

  I grinned up at him. “You’re determined to get them together.”

  “I have the advantage over you. I know them both, and I can see what a good fit they’ll be for one another.”

  “I’ll call Audrey tomorrow and ask her to keep Sunday clear for a drive to the mountains. If I tell her we’re setting her up, though, she’ll be unavailable.”

  “What she doesn’t know until we pick her up won’t hurt.” He kissed me again.

  My body strained toward his and I groaned.

  David broke the k
iss and stared into my eyes. “Are you ready for the next step in this relationship?”

  “The…next step?”

  “Can we go away for a weekend together?”

  “A weekend?” I squeaked.

  He smiled. “Just the two of us. I don’t know how to put this… basically if I don’t get you naked soon, I’m going to suffer irreparable damage.”

  I lifted an eyebrow. “Well, we can’t have that.”

  “Come with me to the farm weekend after next. I want you to see the work I’ve done up there.”

  I chuckled. “No you don’t. You just want to get me into bed.”

  He feigned hurt. “I’ll show you the progress I’ve made on the place, too. Just to make it legit. You can tell your sister you’re going up there with me to help with the decorating.”

  I pressed a palm to his chest. “Decorating?”

  “Yeah. I’m not sure the sheets are right. I need a second opinion.” He tucked hair behind my ear. “Seriously, I want to be with you more than anything. But only if it’s right for you.”

  It’s right the voice in my head screamed. Other parts of my body joined the chorus. I loved David. I knew that. I could see a future with him. And I desperately needed to be with him. I held his gaze for a moment, then said, “It’s right. And Thomas will have Ryan weekend after next.”

  “I am going to be so distracted for the next week and a half.”

  “Anticipation can be a good thing,” I teased.

  “Anticipation could make me walk around with ice in my pants.”

  “Why do you men think you’re the only ones with hormones? You think it’s easy for me? I haven’t had real sex since Ryan was conceived,” I blurted out. Embarrassed, I lowered my face.

  “Real sex? He smiled broadly. “Are you suggesting I’ll need extra batteries?”

  I smacked his arm and laughed. “I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Pretend you didn’t hear it.”

  “You know it’s all we’re both going to think about.”

  “God, I hope not. I have to work. You have to teach.”

  “Yes. And now I have to go home. If we keep up this talk, I’m going to have you right here on the sofa.”

  I had to admit the thoughts of unbridled sex on my sofa ignited a fire low in my belly. But my son slept down the hall. It was a lame excuse and I wondered why I kept making excuses. My confidence had been shaken but David already proved his desire. What was I so afraid of?