Unconditional

by Linda Rettstatt

  We lay curled together, legs intertwined, bodies slick with perspiration, and I began to laugh. I couldn’t control it, and he looked at me with a raised brow. “Did I do something amusing?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. It’s just…” I tried to catch my breath. “It’s pure joy. This is… exquisite. I was a little afraid.”

  His brows furrowed. “Afraid? Of me?”

  I played with the soft hairs on his chest. “No. Afraid it wouldn’t be good. That I wouldn’t be good at it.”

  “Oh, baby. If you were any better at it, I’d be dead.” He kissed my forehead. “We’re good together. I think this deserves a toast.” He got up and retrieved our champagne flutes, refilling them with the now room temp, slightly flat amber liquid. I let my eyes drift over his body and a thrill quaked in me at the memory of how he’d felt plastered to me, rocking together with our own rhythm. I sat up and accepted the drink.

  David nodded. “Your turn to offer a toast.”

  I thought for a moment, then said, “To joy, and…to the future.”

  “I’ll drink to that.” He tapped my glass and sipped, then kissed me deeply.

  I set the champagne flute on the nightstand and pulled David toward me until his body hovered above mine once again. He grinned down at me. “Here’s to joy.” And he once again tortured my body into ecstasy. And then I returned the favor.

  ~ * ~

  Having satisfied our initial cravings for one another, we were able to enjoy dinner in front of a blazing fire and spend part of the next day talking about the farm and David’s plans. We walked through the fields, his arm around me, our hips bumping, and we talked about our dreams.

  After a scrumptious meal of steaks cooked on the charcoal grill and loaded baked potatoes, we returned to the bedroom and explored one another again. It amazed me that David instinctively knew every sensitive spot on my body. And he knew exactly what do to with them.

  Sunday arrived much too soon. We lay in bed late into the morning, snuggling together and talking, then making love, then snoozing.

  “This place is magical,” I said.

  “It’s not the place. It’s you.” He traced a finger along the side of my breast and I shivered. “I never thought I could feel this way about a woman.”

  “What way?” I asked.

  “Like I would give her my soul for just one more kiss.” Then he kissed me.

  “How about your heart?”

  “You had that from the start.”

  I burrowed into the curve of his body, breathing in the musky ripe scent of our lovemaking, and I closed my eyes. Contentment flooded through me. I tried to caution myself not to fall too hard too fast, but, honestly, it was too late.

  ~ * ~

  I was back at home and unpacking when Thomas brought Ryan home. I’d given Thomas a key and hoped he would let himself in.

  “Anybody home?” he called as he opened the door.

  “Back here.”

  When he stepped into the bedroom, Ryan shrieked and started his ‘ma, ma, ma’ mantra. I reached for my baby.

  Thomas gave me an appraising look and his mouth twitched. “You’re glowing.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are. I gather it was a good weekend?”

  My face warmed. “It was, and it’s weird talking with you about it.”

  “Think of me as your best girlfriend.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “That’s not funny.” Though I did enjoy the ease we had found with one another.

  He sat on the edge of the bed beside the pile of clothing I’d removed from my suitcase. I studied his face. The lines of stress had smoothed and color had returned. His eyes were brighter and his smile came more easily. I didn’t verbalize my observation, but I was relieved to see him looking well again.

  He picked up the boxer shorts and tank top. “Tell me you did not wear this.”

  “Okay.” I grinned at him. “I did not wear that.”

  He laughed. “Oh, bad girl. Did he rock your world? Is this a potentially lasting thing?”

  It was strange having this kind of conversation with Thomas. Strange, and at the same time, easy. “It could be. It’s not just physical. David’s a good person. And he loves Ryan.”

  A stricken look swept across Thomas’s face.

  “Not that he could replace you.” Unsure of what else to say, I tossed Ryan’s jacket aside and plopped him down on the bed beside Thomas. I then picked up the pile of clothing and took it to the hamper.

  “Meg, I’d like to have Ryan’s first birthday party at the house, if that’s okay with you. Have both of our families there, and any friends you want to invite.”

  “Both our friends?”

  “Don’t worry, Francisco won’t be there.” The way he uttered Francisco’s name made me think there could be trouble in paradise.

  “Sounds fine to me.”

  “We could have it here, but our house…my house is bigger.”

  “It’ll be the perfect place for his party. My parents are coming up from Florida again for Thanksgiving and staying through New Year’s Day.”

  “Good.” He stood and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ll be out of town for a few days this week.”

  “The clinic?” I asked.

  “Yes. Follow up.”

  “But you’re feeling okay?”

  “I feel great.” He turned around and bent over Ryan, lifting the baby’s shirt and making motor boat sounds with his mouth on Ryan’s belly. Ryan shrieked and fisted two handfuls of hair.

  A lump formed in my throat. It was these little moments of normal in the midst of a relationship that was anything but normal that got to me. Normally, a father would then pick up his son and they’d sit and watch TV together until the baby was ready to be tucked into bed. Then the father would be there to carry the drowsy child to his room.

  But this wasn’t normal, so Thomas freed himself from Ryan’s grasp and said, “I’ll talk to you soon. I’m glad you had a nice weekend.” And he disappeared into the hall while Ryan watched wide-eyed and called out, “Da, da, da.”

  I picked up my son and buried my nose in the soft folds of his neck, breathing in his sweet scent. “Daddy loves you so much. And so does Mama. I’m going to make sure you always know that. Your daddy and I will never let our differences come between you and either one of us. That’s a promise.”

  Chapter Forty-Two

  For Halloween, Ryan wore the most adorable bumblebee outfit Audrey had bought for him. Our entourage trailed behind as I took him from door to door, trick or treating. I had donned cat ears and a tail and had whiskers painted on my cheeks. Behind me, David wore a Pittsburgh Steeler jersey and his bike helmet. A tiara sat atop Audrey’s auburn hair and she carried a wand topped with a glowing star. Preston, the least imaginative of this troupe, dressed like a cop.

  Everyone ooh’d and aah’d over my sweet baby, who happily grinned and reached for the offerings of candy. He wouldn’t be able to eat his collection so, as we turned the corner for my house, I handed the bag off to a beleaguered looking woman shepherding two princesses and a superhero. “Here you go. He’s too little to eat the candy, and if I take it, I’ll eat it myself.”

  She smiled and cooed at Ryan, earning an approving grin from me, and thanked me for the loot. “You’re lucky. Wait until he’s old enough to understand and insists upon dragging you to every lighted porch in a six block radius.”

  With that, one of the little princesses called, “Come on, Mom. We didn’t go to any of these houses yet.” The woman rolled her eyes and trudged down the block.

  Our last stop was Shay and Maurice’s house to see their two week old twin girls. Both Shay and Maurice looked exhausted but thrilled with their double additions. Shay teased a smile out of Ryan and gave him a cookie before our entourage crossed the yard.

  Back inside my house, we took pictures before I stripped Ryan of his bumblebee status. “I’m going to give him a quick bath before I put him
to bed. You guys help yourselves to cider and anything else you find. Aud, would you warm his bottle for me, please?” I tossed my ears and tail onto a chair before carrying Ryan to the bathtub.

  Ryan splashed in the tub and footsteps approached behind me. I rinsed the baby shampoo from Ryan’s hair and glanced up to see David.

  “Need some help?” he asked.

  “No, but I can use the company.”

  David knelt beside me and, while I was occupied with the slippery baby, lifted my hair and tenderly kissed the nape of my neck. A shiver rolled through me. “Oh, that’s not good. Not now.”

  “Sorry, but I’ve wanted to do that all night. I think it was the tail that turned me on.”

  “Remind me to save the costume for next weekend.”

  “Think we could send Preston and Audrey to run an errand?”

  “No.” But I did give the suggestion a second thought.

  Ryan splashed both hands flat into the water, sending a spray over all three of us. “He is wound up tonight. I’ll never get him to sleep. Would you grab that towel for me?” I asked, nodding toward the rack on the back of the door.

  David fetched the towel and held it open while I lifted Ryan from the tub. He wrapped the towel around Ryan and held him. “I love the smell of freshly laundered baby, don’t you?” He stared at me, his mouth twitching with amusement.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  “Look in the mirror.”

  I stood up and faced the mirror above the sink. My moistened whiskers and eye liner were running in black streaks down my face. I’d morphed from Pretty Kitty to Alice Cooper. “I forgot about the makeup.” I snatched up a washcloth and scrubbed off the face paint.

  David carried Ryan to the nursery. “I’ll get his bottle.”

  “Thanks.” I finished diapering and dressing Ryan for bed. David returned with the warmed bottle, but didn’t turn to leave. I settled in the rocker and hummed to Ryan while he sucked on the bottle. I was aware of David watching me, but I fixed my gaze on my son until his eyelids drooped and his mouth slackened, releasing the nipple.

  I stood slowly and settled Ryan in his crib, making sure his favorite stuffed monkey was within reach. When I turned back to David, his eyes were soft and locked on mine. “You’re a good mother,” he whispered. “I love to watch you with him.” He pulled me against him. “You ever think of having more kids?”

  “Maybe someday. You?”

  “Someday.” Then he kissed me in the way that made my body ache and sing at the same time.

  We parted, and I drew in a breath. “Okay, we need to go back out where there are other people.”

  “Or we could cross the hall for a few minutes.”

  “A few minutes? Oh, no. I don’t think so,” I teased, sliding my arms around his waist and pulling him close. “I want to take my time with you.”

  “They’ll never miss us.”

  Audrey and Preston in the living room, too close. “We have to be very, very quiet,” I said, taking David’s hand and leading him across the hall.

  “I can be quiet. Quick and quiet.” He had me naked in seconds.

  We fell onto the bed and the headboard smacked the wall. “Shhh.” I grabbed my jeans and stuffed them between the headboard and the wall. Then I turned to help David out of his boxers. We were like two frantic teenagers trying not to get caught.

  There was something exciting about having heated sex and doing it without uttering a sound while guests were in my living room. I was sure I’d drawn blood from my lower lip when David lifted my hips and drove deep, causing a major explosion in my belly. It was impossible not to whimper. So I bit into David’s shoulder. He yelped instead.

  “They’re going to know,” I said as I shimmied back into my clothes.

  “No they won’t. They’ll think Ryan took more time going to sleep.” He wiped a line of perspiration from my upper lip. “And that he splashed like crazy during his bath. They’re probably not even paying attention, watching TV.” He kissed me again.

  “I need to wash my face.” I rushed to the bathroom and dampened a washcloth, wiping it over my face and around my neck. I looked into the mirror and saw a woman who had just been completely satisfied. Telltale flush. Tangled hair. Swollen lips. They would know.

  In the hall, I bumped into David as he left my bedroom. He managed to look cool, calm and collected. How did guys do that?

  David and I reached the living room just in time to see Preston lean down and plant a firm kiss on Audrey’s lips. I stopped and tugged on David’s arm, not wanting to intrude. But they both seemed oblivious to the possibility of our presence. God, will that kiss ever end? Go, Audrey.

  As they separated, David cleared his throat, and we walked as casually as possible into the room. But it was apparent Audrey knew we saw them. She ducked her head and turned to the kitchen, moving as if she was on fire. And, after that kiss, maybe she was. I got heated up just watching. “I’ll get you both some cider,” she said.

  “Let me help.” I followed her.

  She poured cider into two glasses and handed them to me. Her eyes flitted over mine. “You saw that, I gather.”

  I grinned. “Oh, yeah. Way to go.”

  “I really like him, Meg.”

  “Then go for it. You seem to be comfortable with him.”

  She nodded. “He’s going to the opera with me next week.”

  “Preston? He likes opera?”

  “Go figure.” She shrugged. “Let’s get back in there before he suspects we’re talking about him.” She paused. “One thing I should probably mention.”

  “What?”

  “That baby monitor really picks up.”

  “Was Ryan crying?”

  She stared at me hard. “It really picks up everything. Even from across the hall.”

  Heat consumed my face. I was pretty sure my hair was on fire. Audrey just grinned and headed back into the living room.

  The four of us laughed, told stories of Halloweens past, and ate the pizza David ordered. He and I sat on the floor, snuggled together. Audrey and Preston sat inches apart on the sofa, but the pull between them was palpable, and it was comical to watch their subtle flirtation.

  We turned on the TV and found a channel showing scary movies. Every time I jumped, David laughed and squeezed me closer. At midnight when the movie ended, David stretched and said, “I think it’s time for us to go. What do you say, Pres?”

  But there was no response. I looked up at the sofa to see Audrey sound asleep, her head resting on Preston’s chest, and him snoring softly, his exhales ruffling her hair.

  “Should we let them sleep?” I whispered. “They look so peaceful.”

  “Yeah, but he has to work in the morning.”

  “Let’s just get up and move to the kitchen, make a little noise. They’ll wake on their own.” I stood and tugged his hand, pulling him to his feet. “They know.”

  “What do you mean they know?”

  “Audrey heard us through the baby monitor.”

  “Wow, those things have better pick-up than police scanners.”

  I slapped his arm. “It’s not funny.”

  “Maybe we inspired them. Did you ever think of that?” he asked, pulling me in for a kiss.

  It wasn’t long before I heard voices in the living room and a disheveled Audrey entered the kitchen. “Sorry. I dozed off.”

  A smile tugged at my mouth. “I noticed.”

  Preston walked up behind her, tucking his shirt into his pressed police issue blue pants. “You ready to hit the road, bro? I have to be on deck at seven a.m.”

  “Just waiting for you to finish your beauty sleep.” David gave me a quick kiss. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  We all walked to the door, where Preston gave Audrey a peck on the cheek while David and I tried not to watch. “Talk to you soon?” He phrased it as a question.

  “O-Okay.” Audrey seemed to have trouble uttering that single word.

  Audrey slept ov
er that night. We lay in my bed and giggled like teenagers about the O’Neill brothers. The future looked good for both of us.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  We were blessed with a fall-like December day for Ryan’s birthday party. I arrived at Thomas’s house bearing Ryan in one arm, and a diaper bag and shopping bag in the other. “Ryan, please hold still. Mama has her hands full.”

  Thomas opened the door and Ryan’s face broke into a wet smile, stretching out his arms. “There’s our birthday boy.” Thomas took the baby.

  I set down my bags. “Take him inside. I have to get the cake from the car.” I returned to the house and set the sheet cake on the dinette table. I studied Thomas under the overhead light. He looked drawn again, his skin sallow. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” He didn’t meet my gaze. “Where’s David?”

  “He couldn’t make it.” David told me he had a contractor coming to meet with him at the farm. But I think his absence had more to do with Thomas’s presence. As my relationship with David got more serious, his being in the same room with Thomas and me became more awkward.

  Thomas’s mother and sister came through the back door before he could press me about David or I could further question his health. He looked anything but fine. I hoped it was just a cold, though with his weakened immune system, that could be serious. Maria, Thomas’s sister, whisked Ryan from her brother’s lap and lifted him up. Elena took over the kitchen.

  Audrey and my parents arrived, followed by a few friends—the ones Thomas and I had shared and who hadn’t chosen sides. Shay and Maurice had taken their twins to visit Shay’s great-grandmother in Philadelphia. The tension of our families gathering in what used to be my home was soon diffused as attention turned to our birthday boy.

  Audrey came into the kitchen with a stack of dessert dishes and carried them to the sink. “Where do you think Francisco went for the day?”

  “Don’t know and don’t care. Leave those. Let’s go back to the party and open Ryan’s gifts.” I stopped short of the living room. “By the way, word is you’ve been seeing a lot of Preston.”