Secrets of Desire

by Shaw,LK

  I leaned up and placed a soft kiss on his lips, falling even more in love with this man. I don’t know how I ever got so lucky.

  Suddenly, Alex, in the throes of a nightmare, cried out from the bed. I jerked away and rushed over and crawled into the bed with him and tried my best to soothe him. Connor moved the chair from across the room to place it next to the bed. He took a seat and reached for my hand, lacing our fingers, and forming a connection between the three of us.

  Chapter 37

  Bridget

  Donovan, Connor, and I sat outside the courtroom waiting for the judge to let us know whether I would be granted guardianship of Alex or not. It had been three weeks since Malcolm’s death, and there was no one else besides his adoptive great-aunt who was willing to take responsibility for him, even though her willingness to accept responsibility only extended so far as to possibly transfer custodial guardianship to me. It would break my heart if the judge refused my petition and, instead, sent Alex into foster care permanently.

  Alex was still having nightmares on occasion, but we talked every day and spent weekends together. He had started seeing a therapist so he had someone he could talk to besides me, and he was slowly starting to heal. He still had a long road ahead of him.

  I hoped it helped my case now that Connor and I were engaged. An engaged woman had a better chance than a single woman, right? I prayed like I had never prayed before. The door to the courtroom opened, and I jumped in excitement and nervousness. I sagged against Connor in disappointment when I saw it wasn't Alex’s Guardian ad Litem, Ms. Jackson. I had never been a patient person anyway, so this waiting was driving me insane. I was ready to tear out my hair. Unable to sit still any longer, I quickly stood and began pacing.

  After ten minutes of pacing and still no sign of life exiting the courtroom, Connor finally spoke. “Bridge, walking a hole in the floor isn’t going to make things happen any more quickly.”

  I flashed him a look of irritation. “I know that, but it’s helping me burn off this excess energy. I can’t sit still. Do you not understand that those people in there have control over my future? I know they’re supposed to have Alex’s best interests at heart, but these people know nothing about me. Yet they get to decide if I’m fit to raise my own son. It’s terrifying. So, if I need to pace to keep my sanity, then damn it, I’m going to pace…Sir.” I added, belatedly.

  Connor took pity on me and my terse words and just shook his head. The next time I paced close enough to him, he reached out, grabbed my hand, and pulled me down onto his lap. I struggled for only a second, until his grip tightened, and he stopped me with a single command.

  “Sit.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not a dog, Connor.”

  “No, you’re not. But you are my woman, and I told you to sit still. Just put your head on my shoulder and relax. You’re getting yourself all worked up and as your fiancé, it’s my job to make sure you are being taken care of. So, sit on my lap like the nice little sub that I know you can be and just relax. They’ll come out when they’re ready and not a minute sooner. I know you’re anxious and antsy. I completely understand. I want you to know that no matter what their decision is, I love you and we’ll get through this. Together.”

  I sighed in temporary contentment at his words as I rested my head on his broad shoulder. I had finally figured out why his shoulders were so wide. He carried everyone’s burdens. I loved this man more than I ever thought I could. He’d helped heal my broken heart and taught me that I could love again. I knew our relationship would take work. We were both extremely stubborn people. But we complemented each other so well it was scary. I was jarred from my musings by a voice coming from the slightly ajar courtroom door.

  “Mr. Jeffries, Judge Beckman will see you and your clients now.”

  I leapt off Connor’s lap so quickly I almost tumbled to the floor. He reached out to steady me. Once I had my balance, I focused on the judge’s clerk holding the door open. I wanted to appear calm and collected, but I knew I hadn’t succeeded as I hurried over to her. She stepped aside and motioned for the three of us to enter. Donovan led the way. The room closed in on me, seeming to shrink in size since we had last been in here just a few short hours ago. I controlled my breathing by taking slow, deep breaths in and letting them out twice as slow.

  “If you’d all like to take a seat over there,” the clerk directed us to the long table at the front of the room, “court will reconvene in just a moment.”

  I scurried over to the table with Connor and Donovan following behind me. I sat and immediately started bouncing my knee in impatience. The woman exited through the door to the side of the judge’s bench.

  Not five minutes passed before the door opened again, this time bringing two people into the room. The judge and Ms. Jackson took their seats on the bench and at the table respectively, as if they didn’t have a care in the world. As though my life didn’t hang in the balance. They took their time settling in and Ms. Jackson slowly began pulling papers out of her briefcase. I ground my jaw to stop from screaming at them to get their shit in gear.

  Finally, they acknowledged us. It was the judge who addressed me. “Ms. Carter, I have reviewed your petition to transfer guardianship of the minor, Alex Gregory Shipman, to you from a Ms. Mabel Shipman. I have taken into consideration the written statement provided by Ms. Shipman regarding her inability to raise the young boy at this time. I have interviewed Alex and taken his wishes into consideration. Ms. Jackson has also spoken to Alex as well as made every attempt to locate another family member who would be willing to take guardianship of him without success.

  “In cases like this, it is always a difficult decision, because we have to do what is in the best interest of the child. Therefore, we did not make our decision lightly. The court understands why you gave Alex up for adoption and terminated your parental rights fourteen years ago. We commend your motives to do what you felt was best for your child at the time.”

  The judge paused, and my heart dropped. My palms were sweaty, and I was having trouble catching my breath. I was on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. I barely felt Connor’s hand clasp mine tightly.

  The judge continued, “In spite of your termination of your parental rights, you acted as a mother when your son was in trouble. You put him first and did what you could to keep him safe. Perhaps you should have spoken to the police first instead of Mr. Black here, but I understand why you chose the path you did. Based on our interviews with all the parties involved as well as your friends, family, and neighbors, I have approved your petition and hereby grant your petition for permanent guardianship of the minor child, Alex Gregory Shipman, effective immediately.”

  The buzzing in my ears drowned out his words, so it took me a few minutes to process exactly what he’d said. I sat in numbed silence until Connor nudged me, snapping me out of my dazed fog.

  Stunned, all I could get out was, “Are you serious?”

  Finally, both Judge Beckman and Ms. Jackson smiled. The judge answered, “Yes, Ms. Carter, Alex is now your legal ward. The clerk will have the signed order for you shortly, and one of the bailiffs will bring Alex to you in a few minutes. Congratulations and best of luck to all of you. This court is adjourned.”

  The tears rolled down my cheeks as soon as the judge said yes. I missed everything he said after that. Luckily, Donovan was there to take care of all the formal details. Just then, the door in the back of the courtroom opened and in walked my son. I rushed over to him and wrapped my arms around him in the tightest hug while I cried joyful tears. Warmth surrounded me when I felt a set of arms embrace us. I absorbed Connor’s strength. Eventually, I pulled away and wiped Alex’s tears from his face.

  I stared into the beautiful face so much like mine. “I love you so much. I’ll do everything I can to be the best mom I can be.”

  “I love you too, Mom,” he said, almost bashfully as he tried out the new title. Fresh tears began at the sound of that single word. Alex turned to
Connor and spoke.

  “Thank you for everything, sir.”

  Connor nodded and ruffled Alex’s hair with a burst of laughter. “You don’t have to call me sir. And I’m glad I could be there for you, kid. Now, how about we get out of here?”

  Judge Beckman’s clerk pointed to the paperwork on the desk and said, “We just need Ms. Carter to sign some forms which will only take a moment, and then you are all free to go. You’ll receive the final order by registered mail.”

  Donovan had already looked over the paperwork and assured us that everything looked good. I hurriedly signed my name to the forms they needed today. When I finished, and the clerk handed over the envelope with the order, I reached for Alex and Connor’s hands, and we walked out of the courthouse to start our new life as a family.

  A Note From Lk

  Thank you so much for reading SECRETS OF DESIRE. I hope you liked Connor and Bridget’s story. If you did, I would love it if you would please leave a review on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks and/or Goodreads. Reviews are the lifeblood of an author. They help by spreading word about the book and they also improve visibility of the book so others have the opportunity to read it. In this world of ever increasing self-published authors, visibility is paramount.

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  Booklist

  SECRETS SERIES

  Secrets of Submission (Marcus and Penny’s story)

  Secrets of Desire (Connor and Bridget’s story)

  COMING 2017: Working Title - Secrets of Betrayal (Donovan’s story)

  COMING SPRING 2017: THE SMEX FILES: TITLE TBD - Detective Daniel Webber’s story

  About the Author

  LK Shaw lives in South Carolina with her highly spoiled and extremely needy beagle-mix pup. She began reading at an early age and devoured as many books as she could. Her favorite authors as a young teen were Christopher Pike and RL Stine. During the summer between her junior and senior years of high school, she ran out of books and asked her mom to loan her one of her “stupid romances”, and then she regretted ever calling them stupid. From that first book, she was hooked and hasn’t stopped reading them since. At one time, she owned over 1000 romance novels. Some of her favorite romance authors include Christi Caldwell, Courtney Milan, Mary Balogh, Tessa Dare, Julia Sykes, Ella Dominguez, Skye Callahan, and Meghan March.

  LK loves to interact with readers so be sure to contact her on any of her social media links below. And don’t forget to sign up for her monthly newsletter! http://eepurl.com/bTSyrP