by J. K Harper
“Ah, babe,” he muttered, straining against her, his hands smoothing along her back, sliding over her ass, pressing her into him. “You feel so good, Marisa. So damned good.”
“So do you,” she whispered back. She was ready for him. More than that, she wanted him with a deep ache. She needed to feel him inside her, filling her completely. Claiming her as his.
Jaw flexing, breath still rattling in his throat, he gritted out, “Your move.” His eyes held hers as his fingers kneaded the backs of her thighs, curved up over the dimple where they met her ass.
“Mmm,” she answered. This was fun. This was powerful.
This was sexier than anything she'd ever done in her life, because it was with Riley. Riley, who made her heart crack open. Riley, who had her heart.
She lifted herself above him, positioning. A sweet, taut silence stretched out between them, filled with a deepness and meaning she wasn't entirely sure she understood.
Her cat purred in her chest.
No. She understood exactly what it meant.
This was Riley, her Riley, and she was joining him in every way that was most essential right now.
Slowly, she lowered herself onto him, inching her way down his girth, gasping right along with him at how perfect it felt. He fit her like they'd been made for one another.
Finally, she was seated all the way down on his thick, sexy dick, feeling it pulse just the slightest bit inside her. Like he was ready to burst, right on the edge already, but still holding back for her. Letting her lead the way, even if it was half killing him.
“Babe,” he groaned, and she started to find her rhythm with him.
Slowly up, then back down. Up, then back down. Her slick heat grew even slicker, even hotter, as she rode him, rocking up and down, her hands tightly clutching his shoulders. His hands settled on her waist, fingers splayed down over her ass, pressing her down and pulling her up in rhythm to her movements. In time with her tempo, matching her stroke for stroke, gasp for gasp, kiss for kiss when she reached for his mouth with hers.
The sweet tension rose, sending splinters of lightning crackling through her. Riley's face tensed, his breath slicing in and out. “Marisa,” he growled. “Marisa!”
The wild, strong sound of his voice leaped through her, making the lightning explode. She cried out as everything shattered beautifully within her, keeping her eyes locked on his as he followed her, his hips pumping into hers and then abruptly stilling as a savage cry of joy burst out of his throat, echoed by hers.
Together, they rode the spiral of pleasure up and up, clinging to one another, eyes still locked on one another, their gasping voices echoing throughout the cabin.
Together. Exactly the way she'd never in her life known she would ever find but knew in her soul was meant to be.
Together now and forever, with Riley.
13
Marisa started stretching before she came fully awake. It felt so luxurious, so incredibly good to be in her body. She purred, letting it rumble through her in a swell of contented happiness. Opening her eyes, she blinked at the view outside her bedroom window, which was as charming as ever. Taking a deep inhale, Riley’s scent washed over her, strong in the room. Smiling, she turned over, but he wasn’t in the bed with her. But another scent hit her nose.
Coffee? Ohhh, yes. A steaming cup sat on the little wooden bedside table just by her head. Thoughtful, thoughtful man. She grabbed it as she sat up, cradling the deliciously hot mug between her hands as she took long, slow sips of the ridiculously strong stuff. So good.
Blinking, she came more awake. Riley was here with her, in her cabin, and he’d gotten up early enough to make her a cup of coffee and left it sitting by her bed. She realized the smell of it must have woken her up. Her face felt funny. What was that again? Oh, yeah.
A smile. A smile stretched her face so wide it was making her cheeks hurt. Delicious, fun hurt.
Putting the coffee down for a moment, she got out of the bed. The first thing she saw was Riley’s shirt crumpled at the foot of it. Her cheeks hurt even more as she grinned wide, grabbing his shirt and pulling it to her face to inhale deeply. Pausing only for a moment, she slipped it on over her head. A little giggle almost escaped. The sleeves hung well past her hands and the tails of the shirt brushed the backs of her knees. Rolling up the sleeves, she grabbed the hot coffee and quietly slipped out of the room, wondering what he was doing.
Before she even left the bedroom, which connected right onto the main living room of the cabin, she stopped. Oh. Oh, my. Her jaw slowly fell open in pure appreciation as she stared at the scene before her. Still cradling the mug between her hands, she leaned her shoulder against the door jamb and watched Riley—sexy, surprising, stunning Riley—as he went through some sort of workout routine in front of the main picture glass window. He was completely naked, his body such a glorious specimen of spectacularly fit maleness that she just stayed there and soaked it up.
She admired the rippling muscles in his back as he stretched his arms out, bending at the knees into some sort of pose. Right. He did some sort of martial arts practice. She couldn’t remember what it was called. It was stunning to watch though. His entire body was a honed machine, pure muscles from his heels to his fingertips. All the years patrolling as a ranger in the mountains as his bear and doing this practice clearly had kept him incredibly fit. Driven in large part by the need to protect his cubs and his clan from the horrors of the world that both he and she knew only too well were real.
Those horrors were more at bay today, though. She felt…centered. Focused. Clear. More clear than she'd felt in a long time.
Only a few sips remained in her mug when he finally lowered his arms to his sides and turned. His face was already curved into a grin. “Did you enjoy watching?”
She let it spill out of her. A laugh. A real laugh, one of sheer enjoyment. “Yes. How long have you known I was standing here?”
“When you got out of bed. Cats aren’t the only ones with extraordinary senses.” He held a hand out to her. “Do you want to try a pose or two?”
She set the mug on the floor and went straight to him, padding soundlessly over the large dark blue throw rug to the beautiful coppery-golden wood floor by the window. “Yes. What’s it called again?”
“Aikido. Here. First off, put your hands just so.”
He moved her hands together in a defensive pose. Feeling his big hand curved over the back of hers raised soft little tingles up and down her arm. She smiled like a lucky cat with cream.
“I can see you smiling,” he murmured, though he didn’t stop from efficiently moving her hands, then her legs, into the proper placement.
“I like it when you touch me,” she returned simply.
“Mmm.” The heat from his body warmed the space around them. “Now,” he said, sounding businesslike but still warm. “Move your body like this to meet any aggressive action from an attacker.”
Step by step, Riley took Marisa through an entire sequence. The moves were simple, but as they practiced, she began to move faster, feeling the workout as she progressed. Five minutes, then ten, passed in a pleasant stretching of her muscles.
Fifteen minutes later she was breathing fairly hard. “Okay, this is definitely work. How much longer should I hold it?”
“Five, four, three,” he murmured, watching her intently. Her thighs felt like they were about to give out, but she held steady. “Two, one. Well done. Good morning,” he whispered, catching her by the waist and pulling her to him.
She eagerly let herself melt into him, her own “Good morning” muffled into his lips as they kissed for a long time. Kissing him was a good thing. A very good thing.
Finally, he pulled back, the look in his eyes sparking more desire in her body. But he said, “Do you want to go out to eat?”
She nodded, starting to turn to go back to the bedroom to grab some of the clothes Jessie had managed to find for her. But Riley gently caught her arm. She looked at him with a question
in her eyes. He gently tipped his head toward the day outside. “I mean, really out to eat. In the woods. As beautiful bad kitty and big scary bear.”
She couldn’t muffle the snort of laughter that escaped her. Trying to stifle it only made it worse. Riley was already grinning, laughing along with her. “See? Not so big and bad and scary if we just let them be what they are. Which is us.”
Marisa cast one doubtful glance out the window, suddenly nervous. “What if she forgets and tries to leave again?” Her cat snarled lightly, deep inside.
Riley reached for the door, opened it, held it as he gestured for her to go out before him. What a gentleman. “Your cat is not going to get lost or leave again, Marisa. She knows exactly where she is.”
Yes. She did.
He followed her out into the bright early morning. Leaping past her where she still hesitated on the porch, he shifted into his bear halfway through his flying jump over the four steps leading up to her porch. Jaw dropped so low she thought her chin might hit her knees, Marisa stared at the enormous black bruin with the huge silvery hump that exploded out of Riley, landing on enormous paws with a thunderous smack before turning around to wait for her. His eyes weren’t inky black like she’d seen them the first time in the bridge battle. They were instead a warm, soft brown.
He stood there quietly. Patient. Waiting for her. Not pushing.
Marisa shivered lightly as the breeze picked up, though she was always warmer in human form after she’d been turned than she ever had before. But she wasn’t shivering at the cold. She shivered in anticipation of what her cat might do. What it might be like today, this shift. After everything that had happened, after all the awful, bone-cracking shifts before—she was nervous now.
She didn’t have to be.
It was easy. So easy. She flowed from one form to the other, surprised it wasn’t painful, as it always had been before. Not today. Today, it was so fast. So simple. So effortless.
As if she and bad kitty were one. As if they were each beginning to know they had to work together.
Shaking herself from the ends of her whiskers to the tip of her heavy tail, Marisa cocked her furry ears at Riley. So big, so protective, her bear. She knew without a doubt he would do anything to keep her safe.
She also knew without a doubt that she was more than capable of keeping herself safe. Letting her mouth stretch open, she let out a playful yowl. Come play. Let’s go. Follow me!
Whirling on her powerful haunches, she shot into the woods. From the ground shaking behind her, she knew Riley followed her in an instant, propelling his enormous body along with a grace and ease that would have taken her breath away if she wasn’t using it to run flat out into the woods, joy sparking through her limbs.
This was what she was meant to do. Run. Explore. Play. With shifters like Riley. Those who accepted her. Those who valued her for herself.
Those who maybe loved and accepted her, no matter what.
That thought had her sliding through the snow to a stop in a tiny grove several hundred yards away from the cabin. She could faintly hear vehicles in the distance at the lodge, but the forest had swallowed them up with its beautiful pine trees, stretching their snow-laced green branches up to the clear morning sky.
One last thing. One last thing she had to let go of. To express.
The one last thing remaining between her lion self and her human self, blocking their future as one seamless being.
The biggest shame. The biggest sorrow.
Turning to face Riley, who had skidded to a perplexed halt behind her, his huge shape leaving a wide track in the snow, she dropped to her belly and crawled toward him. Keeping her eyes on his, but not like a predator.
Asking from both her souls to be forgiven.
Riley watched as she came closer, whuffling with concern as she stayed on her belly. When she reached his feet, he anxiously put his head down, nudging at her with his huge snout. Trying to make her stand up on all fours. Which she couldn’t, not yet. Not until he understood. Carefully, finally averting her eyes but not in the submissive way she had yesterday when she had begged to be put down, she rolled onto her back, exposing her belly.
Riley huffed with alarm, pushing at her, trying to get her to stand up. He wasn't accepting her display of submissiveness around him. She could tell she worried him with this display.
This was not submission, however. This was begging again, but this time for forgiveness.
She let out the tiniest mewling sound, then another. Soft, kittenish noises fell out of her mouth like the sort a mother cat would use to call her babies. Riley nudged her again and again, very gently stroking her belly with his face, still upset. He used the side of his massive snout to nuzzle her gently behind her neck, eventually licking the top of her head. She stayed there, staying still, mingled shame and hope holding her down.
Finally, he gave up. He didn’t back away from her, staring at her with annoyance or exasperation. She could tell he didn’t quite understand, but, amazingly, it didn’t matter to him. He snuggled next to her, very delicately stretching his enormous forearm to reach over her, hugging her sleek feline body beside his massive one. She pressed into him, their powerful heartbeats knocking together, eventually beating with the same rhythm, the same rate, the same cadence of connection.
Beating together like two hearts that wanted to be one.
Slowly, listening only to the quiet drips as the warmth of the day fought against the coldness of the snow, Marisa let herself relax. Inch by inch, she nestled against the giant bruin with her. Joy pulsed through her, pushing aside the shame. The sadness. Riley rumbled next to her, purring in the odd way that bears did when they were happy. Slowly, gently, even more easily than before, Marisa let herself slip back into her human form, the laughter already bubbling out of her lips. Riley followed a heartbeat later. She sat up and bounced to her feet, whirling to talk to him. He still stared at her with those smoky blue eyes, confused but matching her smile with his. Laughter, real laughter, just flowed out of her, as free and easy as anything ever.
She felt an enormous smile reach across her face as she spoke. “There wasn’t anything to forgive her for. Ever. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t mine. You’re right. I’m worthy of having her, and she’s worthy of having me. She’s not a bad kitty, she’s a badass kitty.” Marisa pressed her hand once again to her chest as she had yesterday, feeling the purrs rattle through her so hard they shook her frame from pure joy. From pure relief.
Riley shook his head, his smile still there but mystified. “Whatever happened to you, beautiful, strong lion woman, I don’t know what it was. I’m just glad to see you so damned happy.”
Marisa grabbed his hand, pressing it into her chest so he could also feel the purring. Right onto her boobs, actually. He wagged his eyebrows at her, gently tweaking his fingers over her perky nipples, and she laughed.
Then she told him the last big thing.
“Riley, when I was turned, I was pregnant.”
His smile abruptly dropped, and his hands stilled, although he kept them firmly on her breasts. Not looking away from her, he nodded, waiting for her to finish. Giving her space to tell her story.
“I was searching for the kind of love I’d never gotten from my crappy parents. I looked for it everywhere. With every crappy guy I could find. I didn’t mean anything to any of them, because I didn’t know what I really needed. I chose them blindly. Stupidly.”
She kept her voice steady. Riley kept his eyes firmly on hers. Just listening. Not judging. Good man. Sexy, strong, real, marvelous man.
“The last one got me pregnant. Finding out about that was terrifying and awful.” She breathed in slow and long at the memory. “I had no idea how I’d take care of a child. I could barely take care of myself. Of course, I told the guy. Even though he was just a one-night thing, he still deserved to know. He jetted right away, of course. It was what I’d expected.”
She paused to check Riley’s face. Serious but intent. List
ening carefully. It warmed her in places she hadn’t realized until right then were cold.
“I didn’t tell my parents. That would have been useless. Derek and I were living away from their house by then, renting a little place on the other side of town and doing our best to make life work with the shitty jobs we had. He completely freaked out when I told him, of course. But he’s my brother, and he and I have had each other’s backs since always. After he was done freaking out, he swore he would do his best to be the best uncle he could, even though I told him it wasn’t his responsibility to help. But he’s my true family. He wasn't about to abandon me.”
Her voice finally wavered, tears swimming up as she thought about how hard Derek had tried to protect her when they were with the outcasts, even while dealing with his own raging inner animal and getting the shit beaten out of him by the others every time he tried to protect her. Blowing out a hard breath to clear the tears, she went on.
“I was about four months along when the outcasts found us. When I was bitten and had the mountain lion forced into me.” Her voice cracked again at the terrifying memory.
Riley murmured under his breath, the sound full of compassion. But he didn’t say a word. He simply let her speak.
Marisa steadied herself for this next part. The hardest part. “When my cat was forced into me, the result was that I lost the baby I was carrying.”
Riley made a soft noise, but he stayed steady. He stayed there.
He stayed with her.
Her voice whispered softly as she said the next words. “She blamed herself for it. She was full of shame about it. Shame and so much pain. Ohhh.” Marisa’s eyes suddenly drowned in water as she felt the pain deep inside her cat. “It would have been her kit too.” The stark realization of that hit her hard.
She shook her head. She’d thought the mountain lion inside her was such a monster, such a bad kitty. But she’d just been as damaged by Marisa, by being shoved into her, by that unwanted transition for both of them making Marisa lose the tiny life inside her. Knowing her cat had grieved as deeply as she did, maybe even more, made her heart shiver in sympathy. In empathy.
