Love by the Mile

by Heather Young-Nichols

  I might have hated the wall right then.

  “You like the necklace?” he asked quietly.

  “I love it. I’m just confused I guess.”

  “I liked you when we first met. Liked how comfortable you are with yourself and with the people around you. Seemed like you actually enjoyed your life and that was a very new idea to me then.” He took a breath and swallowed. “I’ve never had those feelings and I handled the situation all wrong. So, this was supposed to be part gift, part apology because I wanted to ask you for a chance to figure out how to do… whatever this is.” He glanced down and took my fingers in his. A sweet gesture and a private one that I hoped no one could see. I wanted to exist in this little bubble of ours for as long as we could. “What I’m really surprised about is that you thought to bring me something even though I’ve been a complete asshole.”

  “I don’t leave people out.” I glanced from his eyes to his lips and then back. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

  He shrugged. “So kiss me.”

  Obviously, that meant he was fine with everyone knowing that we were dating or whatever we decided to call this thing between us. Dating didn’t seem like the right word but was the only one I had.

  I wasn’t about to miss an opportunity. So I leaned in, letting my hand rest on his chest, to kiss his lips softly, chastely, but I felt a quiet groan in his chest where my hand laid. Pulling back I found that everyone’s eyes were solely on us with surprised looks on their faces. I rolled my eyes.

  “Oh, please, like anyone of you are surprised.”

  They burst into a chorus of laughter but I didn’t want Sal to feel uncomfortable or awkward as the center of attention. Well… maybe Gramps and Tony couldn’t see this coming but the girls did and I know Gio had to.

  Bianca made her way over to see what he’d given me then helped clasp the delicate chain around my neck. I had a feeling even then that I wouldn’t be taking the necklace off anytime soon.

  Chapter Ten

  “See this is why I love your family.” I sat on one of the counters in Gramps’ kitchen as Maria and Bianca had started working on dinner. “Everything revolves around eating which is one of my favorite past times.” I popped a fourth carrot into my mouth.

  Maria put a ham in the oven first since that would take the longest. I was supposed to be making a salad but really I wanted to continue munching on the veggies. Christmas with them was such a relaxing day.

  “You guys are lucky.” I kept going.

  “Why is that?” Bianca smirked over her shoulder while peeling potatoes.

  The men were at the table in the dining room playing some weird card game that Gramps and Tony were trying to teach the other two from the old country, as Gramps said.

  We could see them and they could see us.

  “You’re Italian. You get to eat pasta like it’s your job, be curvy and beautiful. What does my German mother get me? Broad shoulders, a “stocky” build, and a history of genocide. Fun times.”

  Bianca and Maria laughed even louder. I found that I had a talent for making people laugh.

  “We do get some adequate boobage so I guess there’s that,” I added at the end.

  What I hadn’t thought of, or what I forgot about rather, was that the guys could hear me loud and clear. Gramps and Tony groaned but Sal and Gio made whooping sounds.

  “First of all,” Bianca said then sighed. “You eat more than anyone I know and you’re still thin.” She raised her voice so that everyone would hear her. “Secondly if anyone ever calls you stocky they’ll have to deal with me. And I’ll cut a bitch.”

  Her warning brought more chuckles especially from me. Bianca knew I loved my body, which was part of the reason/problem of why I didn’t mind sharing when the mood struck.

  “I hear you, Bianca,” Sal called over from the table.

  Even he knew that was meant for him.

  After another meal, I thought I’d never eat again even though Maria sent me packing with enough leftovers to feed me for a week. I wrestled the two bags into my car when I heard Gemma calling my name at the same time Sal came out of the apartment and stalked straight for me.

  “So Gio told me to find something to do for a while before I go back to his place,” she said. “Which is gross because now I know what they’re going to be doing.”

  I couldn’t help but snicker because she had to be right. Gio and Bianca would be getting their Christmas freak on.

  “I think I’m supposed to just hang out with Sal but what are you doing?” she asked.

  “Uh… ” I had no idea what my plans were.

  I glanced up over her shoulder at Sal but he shrugged not knowing what to say either. We hadn’t made any plans yet clearly, assumed we’d be together tonight.

  Gemma turned to see what I was looking at and when she saw Sal she glanced from me then back to him.

  “Oh right.” She threw her hands up in the air. “If you two are together now I’m just going to spend the rest of the week alone. Perfect.”

  “Gem, shut up.” I smiled widely at her. “I don’t know what my plans are but I’m sure you can come with me. So far, I only thought about going home, putting on more comfortable pants and watching movies. Does that sound at all appealing to you?” Then I snorted. “I mean, not the changing my pants part.”

  “Sound perfect. Can I wear pajamas?” Sometimes she sounded so young when really she was only two years younger than me.

  “I really don’t care.”

  She turned and disappeared inside the apartment before I finished.

  “Does she have pajamas in there?” I asked Sal.

  “Yeah, Gio made her bring a bag. I think he hoped she’d just stay here tonight so they’d have the house to themselves.” He paused and eyed me for a few seconds. “Can’t really blame him for that.” He strode even closer until we were almost touching.

  “Do movies sound good to you?” I asked, gazing up at him. “I mean we watched cartoons last night but could watch something more grown up tonight.”

  He leaned in and whispered, “Sounds great.”

  Oh my, this slow thing just might kill me.

  Sal said he’d drive the two of them over to my apartment separately. That way they’d have a ride home when we were done.

  As soon as I got to my place and rushed to my room to get changed. I had just enough time to put pajamas on before the banging on my door was so loud and insistent that it had to be Gemma.

  That’s when I realized that since I’d known her, she too had an awkward way about her. Didn’t necessarily understand interpersonal relationships.

  And it hit me. Sal had told me before but it really hit me that she was also involved in the family business and I wondered if she was sent in to get close to Bianca. Oh, that was going to need an answer eventually.

  When I opened the door, Gemma fell through it like she’d been leaning against it with a fluffy blanket in one hand and a pumpkin pie in the other.

  “Maria send that over?” As if I had to ask.

  “Yup.”

  Because Bianca’s mother wouldn’t be satisfied until all of our stomachs burst from being overfilled.

  We settled in to watch a rom-com picked by Gemma who was acting like she’d been force-fed too much sugar. She bounced and talked excitedly with grand hand gestures. All we could do was wait for the inevitable crash. She bounced and was in constant movement.

  When I sat next to Sal on the couch, he pulled me into his side then wrapped an arm around me. He created a warm bubble for me to melt into.

  Before the movie was half over, a loud snoring sound reverberated off the floor.

  “Is she asleep?” I asked. Sal nodded. “It’s like nine o’clock. What a lightweight. I’m going to get her to move into my room, I think. That way we won’t wake her up.”

  “I’ll move her. Trying to wake her up is like trying to wake the dead.”

  He stood then bent over Gemma. Sal’s biceps strained under the bla
ck lightweight sweater that I really liked on him as he lifted all hundred and ten pounds of Gemma off the floor. I moved in front of him, hitting the hall light switch, flooding my room with light so he wouldn’t trip over anything. It’s not like he would know the lay of the land because he’d never been in my room. He dropped her on the bed a bit rougher than I would have which caused her to bounce twice.

  She didn’t wake in the slightest. He was right. Waking the dead would’ve been easier.

  Back in the living room, I shot a text to Bianca letting them know Gemma was staying the night at my place, then grabbed Gemma’s blanket to use for myself. This time I sat with my back against the arm of the couch and Sal just far enough away to pull my legs over his thighs. Then the blanket covered both of our lower halves.

  “So, go ahead,” he said. “I saw curiosity on your face when we got here. What is it?”

  How he noticed I wasn’t sure but I was grateful that I didn’t have to bring it up.

  “Did Gemma do the stuff you guys did?” Because that was a very grown-up way to ask that question. Sal’s entire face tightened with anger but his eyes coated with something else entirely.

  “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded.

  “So not just befriend people, right?”

  “I’d rather not talk about her though.”

  I snapped my mouth shut.

  “It’s just, we’ve always had kind of an unspoken agreement that whatever we told people would only be about each of us individually. So it’d be up to her to tell you what she wants and Gio what he wants. It’s just really uncomfortable.”

  “I can understand that.” I thought about where I wanted to go next for a moment. “So I can ask about you then?”

  “Anything you want. I can’t say it’ll be easy for me to answer but I want to be honest with you. I want this to work.”

  “So you’ve already said sex was like a job for you right?”

  He nodded.

  “And you got really good at it. Out of necessity, of course.”

  A smile played at the corners of his mouth as he nodded again.

  “Well, that just makes me curious. But did it ever, I don’t know feel good to you?”

  “Well, yeah, physically. I mean, I’m a guy, so sex is sex. But I always felt, I don’t know, ashamed when I was with a woman because I knew what was really going on. And the girls, they sometimes got attached. I just hated everything about tricking them, being with them, but had to make sure the sex was all about them.”

  “Hmm… then I think you should let me make it about you for a change.”

  His eyebrows shot up at my suggestion. If I didn’t know better, I’d say a small line of beaded sweat lingered near his temples. He was panicking.

  “I’m not saying jump into bed with me. I mean, Gemma’s in there. That’d be super awkward. We’ll take things slowly like we talked about but you should let me show you that there’s another way to all this.” I swallowed and wet my lips at the thought of what I could do with him, for him, to him. “Have you ever really liked someone?”

  “There was a girl, not a work thing but I didn’t act on it because that would’ve been weird.”

  My eyebrows slammed down almost to my cheekbones because I didn’t understand how it would be weird to ask someone out on a date. Someone you liked.

  “Come on, Bailey. Having to tell someone I’ll be out of touch because I’ve got to fuck this other chick isn’t something that just rolls off a girl’s back.”

  I flinched at the way he characterized his life before we met.

  “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You can tell me anything.” I meant that. I could get past all the things he said about me before because I now knew it was a defense mechanism but I wanted to know however much he was willing to share. I felt terrible that sex brought so much shame for him and I was determined to change that. “Can I kiss you?”

  “You don’t have to ask you know. Let’s just assume I always want to be kissing you.”

  I launched myself at him, bending fully so that my legs remained over his and for the first time one of his hands went somewhere below my shoulders. Out of reaction, his right hand clasped my hip so I wouldn’t fall off the couch.

  But then he leaned me back so I was lying down and he was halfway there himself. I loved the way he tasted and the way he moved against me. Before long we were both kissing each other like we were gasping for air. It was hungry and intense and caused a throbbing low in my stomach and in other areas.

  Then the kiss slowed down, turned into something more purposeful, less horny. Something more intentional. Eventually, we had to breathe. In that moment I cursed our human need for oxygen.

  After my breathing came back to normal, along with my heart rate and my hormones, I was able to talk.

  “Are you staying until after New Year’s as well?”

  “Do you think I’m going to miss that with you? I’m staying. I do have to fly out on New Year’s Day, though.” He watched me to gauge my reaction which was really a non-reaction because hey, the guy had a huge corporation to run. “Big meeting on the second.”

  “I get it. Sometimes I forget that you’re this big shot because you’re so young.”

  “I’m not. I’m really not.” He gave me another quick kiss. “I’m just trying to make sure that everything my grandparents worked for isn’t ruined because our parents are complete assholes.”

  The second movie ended and we hadn’t watch most of it.

  “What?” He asked.

  “For some reason, kissing you makes me lose track of time.”

  “Oh, fuck,” he said when he realized it was one in the morning. “Sorry.” He didn’t look sorry in the least.

  “That’s fine. Trust me when I tell you I don’t mind at all.” I slid my hands back up his arms until they could hold his head in place and I could kiss him again quickly. “You could just stay here, you know.”

  His entire body stiffened as he sat himself back up.

  “I didn’t mean it like that doofus. I just meant you could sleep on the couch if you wanted.”

  “Where would you sleep?”

  “In with Gemma.”

  He thought about my offer but looked completely unsure about what to do.

  “Would it be a big deal to you if I just went to the apartment? I feel like such a loser here, Bailey, because I want to stay with you. I want to do so many things with you but have no idea what the right thing is to keep me from fucking this all up.”

  “First, you’re not a loser about anything but especially not this. And second, of course, go sleep in a big bed alone. A bed that Bianca and Gio probably did some really deviant things in.”

  He groaned allowing his head to fall back and slapped an arm over his eyes. “I really did not need that visual right now.”

  “I mean… you’ve met your cousin, right? Girls talk. And let me just say that there are things he’s into that I wouldn’t—”

  “Please. Stop.” He was smiling but hadn’t removed his arm yet.

  “Sorry,” I said with a laugh.

  I wasn’t really sorry at all.

  Seeing Sal genuinely smile was a gift sent from heaven. I’d say just about anything to get to see it again.

  Chapter Eleven

  Sal and I had a week to spend together before he’d leave again. One week to jam in everything we could, though I still had to work on occasion.

  Gio had arranged to have the first few days after Christmas off because he wanted to spend those days with Gemma and Sal. However, that meant Bianca and I were both pulling long shifts for the weekend. Honestly, I expected to see the trio in the restaurant more than I did. They only came in once.

  “Come on, Gio,” Gemma pled. “It’s a romantic comedy, not a torture device.”

  We were at Bianca and Gio’s on Tuesday evening and wanted to watch a movie together as a group. I might have preferred some alone time with Sal, however, whe
n Gemma began to scoff at the idea of her being left out, he agreed quickly to staying in as a group. A little too quickly. Though I probably would have if he hadn’t.

  I was keenly aware of the feeling of being left out.

  “Aren’t those the same things?” he asked back.

  She rolled her eyes at him. “Some of us don’t have romance in our lives and must live vicariously through Hollywood.”

  Gio snorted.

  “Please?”

  Sal sighed and said, “Just let her win this one.”

  In the end, Gio did give in. He and Bianca were in an oversized chair, her on his lap. Sal and I sat on the couch. Me beside him with my legs pulled to my chest and my head resting on my knees. But Gemma sat on the floor with her legs crossed and her back against the couch.

  Sal ran his finger through the back of my hair. He had a soft touch and if I wasn’t careful, I allowed the repetitive motion lull me to sleep and I didn’t want to waste a minute of us together.

  Something drew my eye to the right. Not sure what but still I glanced over to Bianca and Gio and found Gio watching Sal and me instead of the movie. His gaze was firmly on Sal.

  I sat there watching Gio watch Sal when suddenly Gio’s gaze jumped to me and he gave a small grin.

  Most of our time was spent in that small group or some form of it. Sometimes Gio had to work. Sometimes I did. Sometimes Bianca did. Sal and I only had a few hours alone over the week and it always lead to kissing.

  The man had skills.

  I didn’t mind not having much time alone with Sal even if I really wanted some. The three of them needed time together as well. To laugh and be a normal family.

  For New Year’s Eve we had options but deciding was the difficult part. Nothing seemed to be exactly the right fit for the entire group.

  “We could go to Isaac’s party.” Bianca offered.

  I glanced over my shoulder at Sal as he leaned against the pool table with his arms and ankles crossed and a very tight jaw.

  Like that would be fun for him.

  “Uh, no,” I said.