Monogamy

by Susan X Meagher

  Jamie lifted her head and gazed at Ryan for a long time. "You love me very much, don’t you."

  "I do," Ryan whispered. "I love you more than I ever knew was possible. You’re my life, Jamie."

  Kissing her tenderly, Jamie rolled her partner onto her back and stared at her for a minute. "You’re mine, too. So, let’s figure out a way for both of us to get our needs met."

  "Sounds like you’ve got something brewing up in that active, little brain," Ryan said, smiling up at her partner.

  "I think I do," Jamie said. "I know you need some solitude, Ryan. But I happen to think that you need more than a few hours a day during the AIDS Ride."

  "Go on," Ryan said. "I know there’s more."

  "I think that you should take a week – by yourself – to meditate, and pray and reflect. I think you need it now more than you ever have, sweetheart. You could schedule it during the same time as the AIDS Ride, and spend some of your time praying for the people on the ride – I know that would mean a lot to them, and to you."

  "Where would I do this?" Ryan asked.

  "Anywhere you wanted to, honey. There are a lot of retreat centers within an hour or two of us, or you could be wild and go to Sienna, or Assisi, or to any of the places that have spiritual meaning for you."

  "Damn," Ryan said, her eyes glazing over. "It’s … too much to consider how much money we have. Let’s stay local so I can keep the top of my head on."

  "Okay, sweetie. I’m sure my grandfather has a list of retreat centers, and Father Pender could hook you up, too. Actually, Poppa went to one a couple of years ago that I’ve wanted to go to. It was a silent retreat, and it was for Christians – but it was conducted on an Eastern model – with guided meditation led by a Buddhist monk."

  "Wow, I’d love that," Ryan said softly. "Damn, I haven’t been on a retreat since I was in high school – and we just goofed off at that one."

  "Will you consider it, babe? I’ll be happy to get all of the information for you."

  Ryan was quiet for a minute, then nodded her head. "Yeah. I’ll definitely consider it. Uhm … could we still give a contribution to the Ride?"

  "Of course, honey. We can give as much as you want. You know," she said thoughtfully, "there’s a retreat center in Santa Barbara. You could go over to UCSB on Saturday and have lunch with some of your buddies – maybe feel connected to them that way."

  "That’d be nice," Ryan said, nuzzling her head against Jamie’s chest. "So, you wouldn’t want to go with me?"

  "Mmm … no. I could never keep my mouth shut for a week if you were nearby. I think this is something you need to do alone. Maybe I’ll go to a spa with my mom. I’d like to spend some time alone with her this year."

  "Wow, we’re not even together a year, and we’re planning separate vacations," Ryan said, smiling sadly at her lover.

  "It’s been a unique year," Jamie said, smiling back and adding a gentle kiss. "But next year, you and I are going to be on our bikes – just like normal."

  "That’ll be nice," Ryan sighed. "I wanna be normal again."

  "Me too, sweetie, me too."

  "Want me to go pick up the sushi?" Ryan asked, late on Saturday afternoon.

  "Sure. That’ll give me time to finish a few last-minute details," Jamie said.

  "You know," Ryan said, twirling her keys on her finger, "you aren’t putting much of your energies into this party. It’s not like you to only order a couple of sushi platters when you’re entertaining. What’s up with that?"

  "Well, I don’t know most of the girls very well, so I don’t know if any of them are vegetarians. I figured there’d be something for everyone with a big assortment of sushi, since I made sure that at least a quarter of the things are meatless."

  "Okay," Ryan said, picking up her wallet. "Whatever."

  She started to walk out, but Jamie dashed across the room and grabbed her by her waistband. "Truth?" the blonde asked.

  "Yeah, that’d be nice – for a change," Ryan said, smiling warmly.

  "I think the party’s gonna be a big bust, and I don’t wanna spend too much time working on it. I’m making an effort to try to draw these girls out a little bit – but I’ll admit that I’m not making too much of an effort."

  "That’s cool," Ryan said, bending to kiss her. "I’m not complaining. I merely wanted to see what was going on in that decidedly pretty head."

  "Just being practical," Jamie said. "And thanks for helping me out. I’m counting on you charming the pants off a few of these shy little introverts."

  "Well, that should make the party interesting," Ryan said. "I didn’t know that was allowed under the rules of monogamy – but I’m up for it." She gave Jamie a lecherous grin and palmed her ass, adding a firm squeeze.

  "You’d scare these girls half to death if you looked at them that way," the blonde said, chuckling. "That sexy grin had better only come out if you’re looking at me."

  The sexy grin appeared on cue. "That’s the only time it wants to come out," Ryan said. "Only you inspire me."

  The party had been in full-drone for almost an hour when Mia came downstairs, fresh from a long talk with her beloved. She was feeling quite anti-social, evading everyone in the living and dining rooms to sneak into the kitchen – hoping that Jamie had stowed the excess food in there.

  She nearly ran into Juliet, or at least the woman who looked like Juliet – without a tee stuck between her teeth, or a visor covering her face. "Hey," Mia said. "Juliet, right?"

  "Uh … yeah," she said, giving Mia a blank look.

  "I’m Mia, Jamie’s roommate. We played golf together on Tuesday."

  "Oh, right. Hi."

  Damn, maybe she isn’t a lesbian. I didn’t even get into her short-term memory. "Were you looking for something, Juliet? I live here, so I know my way around."

  "Uhm … no, not really," she said, her nervousness showing. "I’m not much for parties, to tell the truth. I try to find the quietest place and just hang out."

  Sensing an opportunity to probe Juliet’s defenses, Mia pulled out a chair and said, "Have a seat. You can sit and chat with me for a while. I don’t like crowds, either."

  Looking grateful, the golfer sat down, then gazed at Mia, waiting to be led.

  "Would you like a drink?" Mia asked. "Jamie didn’t want to put alcohol out, since so many of the girls are underage – but you’re a senior, aren’t ya?"

  "Uh-huh." She looked a little uncomfortable, and said, "I don’t drink much, though. I never got used to the taste."

  "Ooo … let’s have some fun, then," Mia said. "Let’s make Jell-O shots."

  "I’ve never had those," Juliet said.

  "Well, you will soon. I’ll get the Jell-O and the vodka, you put a little water in the tea kettle – and we’re on our way."

  Ryan caught Jamie when she saw the smaller woman near the library. Pulling her into the quiet space she whispered, "I’m about to take poison! Isn’t there anything we can do to spice this party up?"

  Jamie shrugged her shoulders. "Naked Twister? Body shots? Russian Roulette? I’ll try anything. Actually, why don’t we take off? Let ‘em sit here until they bore each other to death, and then sweep up the bodies."

  "Damn, if staying at this party isn’t a sign of my undying love, nothing is," Ryan said, her grumbling obviously good-natured.

  "I can’t believe that no one brought a date," Jamie said. "Guys would have at least added a little volume. I’ve been to livelier wakes."

  "Well, let’s try to get ‘em playing a game or something. Anything to make people start talking about something other than golf!"

  They started to leave the room, but Ryan pulled her aside to whisper, "Oh, and your friend, Juliet? Big dyke. We’ve gotta sit over at Sproul Plaza one day so I can teach you how to pick ‘em out, baby. If you weren’t sure about Juliet, you clearly don’t know what to look for!"

  While Mia and Juliet waited for the Jell-O to set, Mia decided to probe a little to see if she could get the monosyllabic woman to
open up. "So, I’ve never seen you around campus. What’s your major?"

  "American Studies."

  "Really? That’s mine, too. Weird … I would have thought we’d have been in the same classes."

  "I always try to get all of my classes in on Tuesday through Thursday," Juliet said. "That way I’m free for tournaments and things. I’ve been forced to take some of the worst classes in the major, just because of when the class meets."

  "What else do you do for fun, Juliet? I know golf takes up a lot of your time, but where do you hang out?"

  "Mmm … nowhere, really. I have a room in a private home not far from here. I eat my meals with the family I live with – so I don’t go out very much. The couple has two young kids, and I watch them in the evenings when the parents go out. I tend to hang around the house a lot."

  "Wow … that must inhibit your … love life. I mean … can you have dates stay overnight?"

  "Oh, no, Matt and Patricia have asked me not to do that. It sets a bad example for the kids." She shrugged and said, "It’s not a problem, though. I don’t date."

  "You don’t?" Mia asked. "At all?"

  "No, not really. Not since I’ve been at Berkeley."

  "Juliet! You’re a senior! You’re wasting your prime dating years!"

  The young woman laughed softly and said, "I’ve had other priorities, Mia. My goal is to make the LPGA tour. After that I can start to concentrate on my social life."

  "Damn," Mia said, shaking her head. "Did you date in high school?"

  "Yeah." Juliet got up and pulled open the refrigerator. "Think these are ready yet?"

  Mia walked over to her and peered over her shoulder. "Yeah, I think they’re close. Let’s have one and then put them back in to firm up a little." She cut 2 generous squares and handed one to Juliet, while letting her own slide down her throat. "Smooth, huh?" she asked when Juliet swallowed.

  "Yeah," the taller woman said, smiling. "Really smooth. It didn’t taste like alcohol at all."

  "That’s the beauty of the Jell-O shot," Mia said. She sat back down and asked, "Would you be interested in going out on a date or two? I’m sure I could fix you up – if I knew your type."

  "Ah … no, really, I’m not in the market." To get the focus off of herself, Juliet asked, "What about you? Are you dating anyone?"

  "Mmm … I’m not dating. I’m in love – big time." She gave Juliet a very warm smile and asked, "Wanna see a pic?"

  "Uhm … sure." She shrugged, looking less than fascinated, but when Mia went to the refrigerator and removed an action picture from a volleyball game – showing Jordan and Ryan rising in tandem to block a shot, Juliet’s eyes nearly popped from her head.

  "This … this is your …?

  "Lover," Mia said helpfully. "That’s Jordan Ericsson. You might have seen her play volleyball, but if you missed her there’s still time to catch her in action. She’s on the U.S. Olympic team," she said with a great deal of pride in her voice.

  "Wow! She must be great."

  "Oh, she is," Mia said. "In many, many ways. Only problem is that she’s in Colorado Springs at the Olympic training facility. We can’t be together until school’s out."

  Staring at the picture, Juliet said softly, "It’s horrible to be separated from someone you love, isn’t it?"

  "Yeah, it really is." Mia walked back to the refrigerator and took out the Jell-O. "Care for another?"

  "Sure. I didn’t even notice that first one."

  "Uhm … they tend to catch up with you," Mia said, offering fair warning. "There’s over a cup of vodka in here."

  "Is that a lot?"

  "It depends on what your goal is," Mia said, wrinkling her nose in a grin. "It’s just about right if you wanna get wasted."

  "Wasted, huh?" Juliet asked. "I’ve never been wasted – maybe it’s time."

  "Stick with me," Mia said, chuckling. "I’ll make sure your first trip to Wastedville is a pleasant one."

  At 10:30, Jamie stood in the doorway, waving to the last of her teammates. As she closed the door, Ryan grabbed her from behind, then turned her and pinned her into the corner where she pounced upon her lips. Raining a torrent of kisses upon her sweet lips, Ryan growled as she pressed her hips against Jamie’s, murmuring, "Finally, a way to get my blood moving again."

  Jamie slapped her hard on the butt, unable to stop giggling. "You’re such a bad girl, Ryan O’Flaherty. I looooove bad girls." She gave her a rough squeeze and said, "Help me clean up a little and I’ll let you do as many bad things to me as you want."

  "Mmm … motivation," the brunette said, releasing her captive. They started to pick up a wealth of paper cups, plates and napkins, and when Ryan’s hands were full she popped the kitchen door open with her hip. The dark woman let out a gasp when she spotted Mia and Juliet, sitting – or, rather slumping at the kitchen table. "What in the hell is going on in here?" she asked.

  Jamie came scampering over, peering around Ryan’s shoulder to get a good look. The two drunken women looked up at them, two pairs of unfocused eyes trying to think of an appropriate response. "We’re doing Jell-O shots," Mia said, her words slightly slurred. "Want one?" She looked down at the empty glass baking dish and scratched her head. "We made two batches. Where’d they all go?"

  "Right to your heads," Ryan said, walking into the room and depositing the trash she carried onto the counter. Turning to Jamie, she said, "Help me load Juliet into the car. I’ll take her home." Twitching her head towards Mia, she added, "You can get Sir Drinks A Lot into bed."

  "No, no, I’ll take Juliet," Jamie said. "I know where she lives."

  "All right. Let’s get Mia into bed, and we can take off."

  "You don’t need to go with, love. I’d rather you stayed and kept an eye on Mia."

  "Are you sure?" Ryan asked.

  "Yeah, I’m positive. Put the rest of the things in a trash bag, carry Mia to bed, and by the time you’re in bed I’ll be back."

  "I’m not undressing her," Ryan said firmly. "She’s so damned ticklish, it’s like wrestling a puma."

  "I don’t need undressing," Mia said, her dignity still intact. "Only Jordy undresses me." As she said those words, she started to cry. "I miss my Jordy." She laid her head on the table and sobbed, with Juliet trying to find her back to pat it.

  Ryan met Jamie’s eyes and said, "No more parties. Clean-up is a bitch!"

  With Ryan’s help, they poured Juliet into the BMW, then Jamie dashed around to the driver’s side. "I’m gonna have to help her get into bed, so it might take me a few minutes. She lives with a family – and I’m sure they wouldn’t like to have the kids find her passed out in the hallway."

  "Don’t be long," Ryan said. "Do you have your cell phone?"

  "Of course. I’ll be back as soon as I can, love. Be nice to Mia, okay? She’s awfully sad."

  "I will," Ryan said, smiling. "I’ll nicely dump her butt into bed."

  When Jamie pulled into the driveway of the home where Juliet lived, she was pleased to see the lights out. At least I don’t have to attempt this maneuver in front of an audience. "Okay, Juliet, I’d appreciate some help here." She went over to her friend’s side of the car, and found that Juliet was a bit more cooperative than she’d been a few minutes earlier. "The fresh air must have revived you a little," she said.

  Working together, they got up to the house, and Jamie got the key into the door – hoping fervently that there was no alarm. When nothing chimed, beeped or buzzed, she smiled to herself and helped Juliet up the stairs. Luckily, the golfer was sober enough to find her own room, and after stumbling and crashing into the wall once or twice, they reached the door. Jamie got it open, then helped Juliet in, looking around quickly to make sure they were in the right place. When all she saw were textbooks on a desk, and an LPGA calendar on the bare walls, she knew they’d hit pay dirt.

  "Okay, Juliet," Jamie said as she got her to the bed. "I’ll get your shoes off, then I’ll help you with your jeans. After that – you’re on your own."
/>   "’Kay," the taller woman said, struggling to get that much out.

  When Jamie had her as undressed as she was willing to go, she pulled down the covers and helped her into a horizontal position. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she asked, "Are you going to be all right? I worry that you won’t be able to get to the bathroom without hurting yourself."

  "Fine," she said, pointing in the direction of the bath. Jamie got up and made sure the path was unobstructed, then turned the light on, pulling the door halfway closed so Juliet could find it during the night.

  Returning to the bed, Jamie said, "I’m gonna go now. I left your keys on your desk there. I assume the front door will lock behind me," she said, trying to think of what she’d do if that weren’t the case. Shrugging, she said, "I hope you feel okay, tomorrow, even though I’m sure you won’t."

  "I have to pee," Juliet said, looking at the bathroom, which seemed very far away.

  Taking pity on her, Jamie helped her up, then waited outside the door, hoping that Juliet didn’t lose any of her Jell-O shots. She heard her friend noisily brush her teeth, which seemed like a good sign, then Juliet emerged, looking a little more put-together.

  Jamie got her back to the bed, but the larger woman just sat on the edge of the bed, rather than lying down. "Thanks for the help," she said, her voice still slurred, but understandable.

  "Hey, no problem. I’ve been in worse shape." Jamie reached over and ruffled Juliet’s hair.

  Jamie was surprised when Juliet grasped her hand and held it to her cheek, nuzzling her face against the palm. "You’re such a nice woman," she said, sighing.

  "No problem," Jamie said. "We’re teammates, Juliet. You’d do the same for me."

  "No one else would," she said, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. "No one else cares enough."

  "Hey, don’t say that," Jamie said, her maternal instincts coming out in full force. "You’re a very nice person. You don’t let people get to know you."

  "I … I can’t," she said, sounding defeated. "I just can’t."