Monogamy

by Susan X Meagher

  "What in the heck is a rub-a-dub-dub?" Jamie asked, giggling along with Ryan, even though she didn’t know why she was laughing.

  "Oh, that’s one of the many, many terms for going to a pub," she said.

  "Rub-a-dub-dub …" Jamie looked at her and asked, "Is that a reference to the nursery rhyme? I don’t get it."

  "Nope. It’s a form of rhyming slang. Dub rhymes with pub." She gave her partner a thoughtful look and said, "I guess we don’t do that here, do we?"

  "What?"

  "Come up with little rhymes to refer to certain words. The Irish do it constantly."

  "Uhm … why?" Jamie asked.

  "Dunno. It’s just a thing. Da doesn’t do it much, but my Uncle Patrick does. Haven’t you ever heard him?"

  "I don’t think so," Jamie said. "Give me an example."

  "Oh … he says ‘dog and bone’ instead of phone. He sometimes will call one of his kids a ‘current bun’…"

  Jamie started laughing, and in seconds she was slumped down in her seat, holding onto her stomach. "Oh, my God!" she gasped out. "I’ve heard him say things like that, but I never knew he was making a rhyme. I thought he was a little goofy!"

  Ryan was chuckling along right with her, and she said, "Well, he is a little goofy. But he also rhymes a lot."

  "I heard him call one of the boys a current bun and I thought it was a pet name, like my dad calls me cupcake."

  "No, no," Ryan said. "Current bun rhymes with son. Like my dad might refer to me as a bottle of water. It rhymes with daughter. Sometimes Uncle Patrick calls me his long term lease, because lease rhymes with niece."

  "Odd," Jamie said, shaking her head. "That’s just plain odd."

  "So you don’t want me to refer to you as my struggle and strife?" she asked ingenuously.

  "I’m guessing that means wife," Jamie said, her eyes narrowed. "I wouldn’t recommend it if you want to get weekly paid."

  "Weekly paid … weekly paid … what rhymes with paid …?" Ryan’s eyes widened as recognition dawned. "I’m very fond of getting paid, sweetheart," she said. "Struggle and strife is hereby stricken from my lexicon."

  Sara Andrews stood in front of the apartment building for a moment, then rang the bell, and waited for Ally to buzz her up. As usual, she was nervous, but tonight she was more nervous than usual – the thought of celebrating Valentine’s Day with her friend making her palms sweat.

  When she got to the door, it was standing wide-open, and she heard Ally call out, "Come on in. I’ve got my hands full."

  Sara peeked into the room, and caught sight of the larger woman trying to organize what looked like a fairly complex dinner. "Hi," the attorney said, sticking her head into the room to plant a kiss on Ally’s cheek.

  "Hi, how does Chinese food sound?"

  "Great." Sara noted the plethora of white cardboard take-out containers that littered the counter, and smiled at her friend.

  Finishing her task of placing all of the dishes on plates, Ally finally looked up, and gave the chestnut-haired woman a warm, appreciative smile. "If I had any idea that lawyers looked like you do, I would have been in law school faster than you can count your briefs."

  Sara revealed the surprise that she’d been hiding behind her back. "Happy Valentine’s Day, Ally," she said, presenting her friend with seventeen long-stemmed roses; four pink, four white, four coral, four yellow, and one red; all beautifully arranged in a tall, glass vase.

  The tall woman’s face burst into one of the biggest, brightest smiles that Sara had ever seen. "You brought me roses! No one’s ever given me flowers before," she said, obviously delighted. Without even taking the flowers from Sara’s hand, Ally slid her arms around the smaller woman’s trim waist and kissed her with such enthusiasm that Sara was breathing hard in moments.

  "Glad you like ‘em," she said, pulling back in a daze.

  "They’re fantastic! Truly gorgeous," Ally said, shaking her head in wonder. "I know there must be some significance to the colors and the number, but I can’t guess what it might be."

  "Well, I wasn’t sure what color would most appeal to you," Sara said. "I didn’t want to make a mistake, you know. After all, this is the first time I’ve given you flowers. So, I decided to hit all of the major colors."

  Ally looked thoughtful, and said, "Hmm … I’m not sure which one I’d pick. I think I like the variety, to be honest."

  Smiling brightly, Sara said, "Well, then, I guess I made the right choice."

  "Now, how about the number? I don’t know a lot about flowers, but I know that 17 isn’t the most common choice."

  "No, no, it’s not," Sara said. "I uhm … chose 17 because I was 17 when I finally realized I was a lesbian." Ally cocked her head, waiting for Sara to continue. "Even though I’ve known I was gay since I was 17, you’re the first woman that I’ve ever given flowers to … the only woman I’ve ever felt this way about." She gazed up into Ally’s eyes, losing herself in the gray depths. "That’s why there’s one red rose. That’s the color you give to your sweetheart," she said, smiling shyly. "Will you be my sweetheart, Ally?"

  "Yes, I will," Ally said, her voice soft and syrupy smooth. "I’d very much like to be your sweetheart." Taking Sara in her arms again, they kissed for a long time, keeping the passion at a low burn. Pulling away, Ally asked, "Would my sweetheart like to eat dinner now? Someone went to a lot of trouble to prepare this. I’m not sure who," she said, grinning, "but someone did."

  They sat at Ally’s small table, enjoying the food that the trainer had chosen. Over the weeks they’d been seeing each other, Sara had decided that she liked letting Ally guide her to a greater appreciation of vegetarian dishes, so the larger woman didn’t even consider buying anything with meat in it. "How does Chinese work for you without meat?" she asked.

  "Good," Sara nodded. "I honestly don’t miss meat. In fact, I find myself going meatless at lunch most days. I feel a little sharper at work when I stick with fruit or vegetables."

  "Do you think you might switch to full-time veggie?" Ally asked.

  "Mmm … probably not. I like being able to eat whatever I’m served when I’m at a business lunch or dinner. And I don’t think I’ll ever give up my desire for turkey on Thanksgiving. I also have a weakness for hot dogs when I go to a Giants game." Smiling impishly, she said, "Some things are inviolate."

  "I have an occasional hamburger myself," Ally said. "I try not to be too rule-bound in any part of my life. Now that I’ve quit competitive bodybuilding I’m going to try to eat to stay healthy and to feel my best. A little trip to carnivore-land won’t hurt me." She gave Sara a small smile and said, "Celebrating Valentine’s Day is also a sign of my life-style change. I’d always made it a rule to not go out with a woman on V-Day. I didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea."

  Sara smiled at her and said, "This is a first for me, too."

  "I find that so hard to believe," Ally said, shaking her head. "Uhm … I know you didn’t have any relationships with women, but did you ever have one with a man?"

  "Ooo … personal question time," Sara said.

  "You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to," Ally said. "It’s all in the past, Sara, it doesn’t matter."

  "No," she said, "it does matter." She took a bite of her pan-fried noodles and said, "I went out with a guy for about 9 months when I was a sophomore in college. It just so happened that we broke up before he had to buy me a Christmas or Valentine’s present. Smart guy."

  "Did you uhm … care for him? Were you very close?"

  "I guess," Sara said. "His name was Kory, and he was a really great guy. He was a soccer player at Cal, too. We used to go to the men’s games, and they’d come to ours – that’s how we got to know each other."

  "What made you date him? Since you uhm … knew that you were gay?"

  "I’m not particularly proud of this, but even though I knew I was primarily attracted to women – I thought I might be able to find a guy who I could love. I thought if we had enough other things in
common … maybe sex wouldn’t have to be the biggest thing between us."

  Ally gave her a sad smile and said, "I think that could work if the guy didn’t think sex was a big deal. But I’ve never met a guy like that."

  "No," Sara said, laughing softly. "Kory didn’t share my feelings on the unimportance of sex in a relationship." She shook her head. "I did so many things that I’m ashamed of now, Ally. Kory was a nice guy, but after dating for a few months, he finally got frustrated with me. I’d put him off so long that one night he asked if there was something wrong with me. He looked me right in the eye and asked if I was sure I was straight."

  "What did you say?" Ally asked, looking at the woman with sympathy for the position she’d found herself in.

  "I didn’t say anything," Sara said, looking down at the table. "I took him into my bedroom and had sex with him."

  "Don’t feel guilty about that, babe. Lots of women aren’t sure until they experiment a little. It’s completely understandable."

  "I was sure," Sara said softly. "I slept with someone only so he didn’t think I might be a lesbian. I was willing to let someone touch me … enter me – to avoid being labeled for who I was."

  A look of intense pain flashed across Ally’s features and she shut her eyes briefly, then reached out unseeingly for her friend’s hand. Without a word, she brought the trembling hand to her lips and kissed it gently. "It’s all right," she whispered, her warm breath caressing the skin.

  Sara blinked away a few tears, and said, "It’s so hard to think back to the things I’ve done, the people I’ve hurt, the ways I’ve hurt myself – all by trying to be someone else. I let him have sex with me for almost 6 months, just so he wouldn’t think I was gay." She sniffed delicately, wiping another tear from her eye. "I didn’t enjoy one moment of it, Ally. I let him use my body – I consented to it."

  "You’re not doing that any longer," Ally said, her voice hoarse with emotion. "Focus on that." Grasping Sara’s hand harder, Ally said, "You’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with a very, very obvious lesbian. You’re playing soccer in a lesbian soccer league. You’re out to your parents. Those are some very big accomplishments, Sara. Don’t forget them."

  "I won’t," she said, producing a watery smile. Responding to the tug on her hand, she got up and slid onto Ally’s lap. The larger woman engulfed her in a hug and held her tight. "I feel so safe in your arms."

  "We’ve both done things that we’re not proud of, baby. Everyone makes mistakes, and I’ve made hundreds of them. But none of that matters, now. All that matters is how we treat each other from now on." Fixing Sara with an intent gaze, she said, "I promise I’ll always try to treat you like my sweetheart."

  "I know you will," Sara said, summoning a smile. She touched Ally’s soft lips with her finger, plucking at the particularly succulent lower lip. "You know, I’m not sure what the Valentine’s Day drill is. Is there some script we should be following?"

  "Hmm … I’m not sure, either. I guess that means that we get to make up our own agenda." Ally took a few delicate nibbles of Sara’s ear. "Anything in particular you’d like to do?"

  "I can think of a couple of things," Sara said, smiling sexily.

  "Let’s go sit on the sofa and you can tell me what’s on your list."

  Sara took her partner’s hand and led her into the living room. Ally snatched a small bag from the kitchen counter and carried it with her, handing it to Sara when they were seated. "I have a little present for you," she said. "I was very, very indecisive, I’ll have you know. I didn’t want to offend you – but I saw this on a model … and I could … see you in it. It made my teeth ache to think about you in it," she said, grinning wickedly.

  "Offend me, huh?" Sara asked, smiling tentatively. "What could you possibly buy me that might offend me?"

  "Well, it’s not that it’s offensive," Ally said, "but it might be a little premature."

  "Ooh …" Sara gave her a knowing smile and put her hand in the bag, withdrawing something that was wrapped in red tissue paper. Opening the paper, she found a very sexy, black lace bra and an even sexier matching garter belt. "Oh, my," she said, her voice almost a purr, "it’s gonna be fun to wear this for an appreciative audience."

  "It’s not presuming too much, is it?" Ally asked, sounding a little unsure of herself.

  "Not in the least. We’re definitely going to get to the point where I’ll be seriously overdressed in this outfit," Sara said, smiling confidently.

  "Oh, that’s gonna be nice," Ally said, her wistful smile speaking volumes.

  "Until we get there, why don’t we spend the evening doing something I’ve always wanted to do on Valentine’s Day?"

  "You name it," Ally said.

  "I want to sit right here on this sofa and kiss you," Sara said. "I’ve always wanted to have a partner who I felt comfortable enough with to be able to kiss – for hours on end. I always felt like I’d have to have sex if I spent much time kissing a woman. I love that we can cuddle and kiss without having to go further."

  "That’s a Valentine’s wish that I’m completely capable of fulfilling," Ally said, looking at Sara with another beaming smile as she pulled her close and got to work.

  Part 11

  Ryan rolled her eyes, but winked over the roof as she handed the keys to the valet parking attendant in front of the restaurant. If she had been alone, or if Jamie had not had on heels, she would have never consented to the twelve-dollar fee, but she was feeling magnanimous, considering it was Valentine’s Day.

  As soon as they stepped inside the large space, they both unconsciously gasped in delight as they took in the huge chandeliers that ran the length of the main room. The massive lamps looked exactly like jellyfish, trailing long, glowing tentacles over the heads of the diners. Their eyes met in a shared memory as their thoughts returned to their last morning in Eleuthra, when they had been startled to have a sizeable jellyfish pass right before their eyes.

  Unable to stop themselves from staring at the dramatic interior, Jamie’s eyes took in the huge coral-tinted columns, covered with something that looked like kelp; while Ryan’s gaze flitted to the dramatic, lengthy marble bar tucked away on the right side of the room.

  When Jamie was able to tear her eyes away from the spectacle, the host, who was well used to diners being unable to focus on him, greeted her. "Good evening," he said. "Have you a reservation?"

  "Yes," she said. "Evans for two."

  He scanned his list, and she caught the twitch in his brow when he came to her name. "Mrs. Evans?" he asked cordially. "Will Senator Evans be joining you?"

  "Actually, Mrs. Evans is my mother," Jamie explained, gracing him with her most confident smile. Gripping Ryan’s hand, she added, "She made the reservation for the two of us."

  "Marvelous. Come right this way," he said, leading them up a graceful, curved staircase covered with black beads that resembled glistening, fat caviar eggs. Ryan’s mouth was nearly hanging open as she took in the strands of coral and barnacles that draped over the wall sconces leading up to the mezzanine.

  Once they were situated in the most private corner of the space, he bade them have a pleasant meal and disappeared, leaving a stunned Ryan and an amused Jamie looking over the half-wall to survey the diners below.

  "Happy?" Jamie finally asked her partner.

  "I feel like I’m in the ocean again," the brunette managed to get out. "Look at the fish scales on the hood over the kitchen!"

  "It is spectacular, isn’t it? Mom was right, as usual."

  Coming back to reality, Ryan cocked her head and asked, "What was that about your mom making the reservation?"

  "Oh, I wanted to make sure we got a special table, so I asked her to call. She knows the maitre d’."

  Ryan rested her chin on her hand and gazed at her partner for a long minute. "You two are quite the pair. I pity the poor soul who gets in the way when you have a goal."

  The waiter appeared as Jamie was going to respond, and they spent a few minutes di
scussing his recommendations for appetizers. Ryan listened with less than half of her attention, content to stare out over the assembled diners and people watch. No business diners were in attendance – only couples and a few foursomes. She noticed a table or two of gay men, and was watching one pair share an order of oysters when Jamie’s voice called her back. "Does anything on the appetizer list appeal to you?"

  Ryan grinned at her and said, "Order for me? You do a much better job."

  The waiter bit back a smirk and turned his attention back to Jamie, waiting patiently while she rattled off the items she’d like. After settling on two glasses of wine, he was off, and they were once again able to focus on each other.

  "Do you like for me to order for you?" the blonde asked.

  "I prefer it. You know what I like, and you know what goes well with other dishes. I’ve never been disappointed with what you’ve chosen, so why not?"

  "Okay," she said. "Just know that I’ll gladly step aside if you want to take over."

  Ryan gave her a rakish grin and said, "You can be the top when we’re out, as long as I take my rightful place when we’re making …" The waiter arrived with their wine, and Ryan finished her statement non-verbally, with a slight twitch of her eyebrow and a crooked grin. As he left, she took a sip of her wine, savoring the various notes of the complex bouquet on the back of her tongue. "Oh … this is nice," she purred. "You’ve started to show me what the big deal about wine is, and I’m very grateful for that."

  "It’s the least I can do," Jamie said as she clinked her glass against Ryan’s and tasted her own selection. "You’ve awakened my senses to so many pleasures in the past few months that I have to return the favor." She held her glass up to the light and observed the color of the wine, and the way it clung to her glass when she swirled it. "Nice, indeed," she said. "Want to taste mine?"

  "We don’t have the same thing?" Ryan asked.

  "No. We’re both having Bourgogne blancs, but I thought the one I chose for you would go better with the appetizer you’re having."