Monogamy

by Susan X Meagher

  "Pardon?" the older woman asked, those penetrating blue eyes shifting from Jordan to Mia and back again.

  "Mia’s more than my friend," Jordan said. "She’s my lover." The grenade was lying right there on the table, and Mia braced herself, waiting for the inevitable explosion … that never came.

  "Oh! Well … that’s nice," she said, giving each of them a guarded smile. She seemed at a loss for words, and Mia assumed that she was too surprised to comment. It took a moment, but as the time ticked by she realized with a start that Daniella wasn’t stunned – she was truly uninterested in the announcement.

  "Don’t you have a reaction to that, Mom?" Jordan asked tentatively.

  Jesus, Jordy! Don’t go looking for trouble! Mia screamed silently.

  A small scowl formed on the older woman’s face and she said, "You’re not the first people in the world to discover lesbianism. It’s a phase many girls go through. My God, the stories I could tell you about the women I worked with in the seventies. Some of the best-known models of that time slept with far more women than men. It was quite common – but not permanent." She shrugged her shoulders and gave Mia a small smile. "Not to imply anything about the quality of your relationship, of course." Another shrug and she said, "You might feel this way for the rest of your life I suppose, but only time will tell." She craned her neck, looking for their server and said, "I’d love an espresso. Anyone else?"

  Jordan was completely unnerved by the conversation, and she got up to use the rest room. Mia looked up at her to see if she wanted her to join her, but she shook her head slightly and strode off.

  Daniella watched her walk away, and turned her gaze to Mia. "She’s an odd girl, isn’t she?"

  Mia’s eyes widened and she found her head shaking. "No, not at all."

  The small, slightly annoyed frown returned, and Daniella said, "Oh, I didn’t mean anything by that. I only meant that I can never read her. I’ve never been able to. She’s so different from Gunnar. He and I are so alike it’s quite astonishing."

  "That must be … nice," Mia said, not having any idea how to respond.

  "Oh, it is. But, frankly, I’m at a loss with Jordan. I never know what she wants from me."

  "That’s not been my experience," Mia said. "I find her to be very open and easy to read," once she trusts you, she didn’t add.

  "Hmm … well, I suppose a parent only gets a small part of the picture, doesn’t she?" She seemed perfectly comfortable with this excuse, and Mia was the last person who was going to try to dissuade her from her opinion.

  "I suppose so." She took in a breath and tried to think of something to say, but she was at a loss. They sat at the table in silence, neither even making an attempt at conversation. Strangely, Mia didn’t feel uncomfortable – perhaps because Daniella seemed perfectly at ease. It was almost as if they were at two separate tables, and Mia wondered if this was what it was like for Jordan when she was growing up. My God, she makes you feel like you don’t even exist!

  Jordan finally returned, and she got the conversation going again by mentioning the Olympics. "I’ve made the reservations for you and Grandmom and Gunnar."

  "Oh, that’s great. We’re all looking forward to it." She was smiling warmly when a concerned frown suddenly stole over her features. "Is there any chance you’ll get any individual publicity? Like one of those features that NBC does?"

  Shifting uncomfortably in her seat, Jordan shrugged and said, "I haven’t been approached, but I guess it’s possible. Why?"

  "Well, I hope that you don’t plan on telling them about this … lesbian thing if they do interview you. That’s not the kind of thing that people need to know, Jordan."

  Giving her a surprisingly forthright stare, Jordan narrowed her eyes and said, "It’s not a thing. Mia and I are in love. We’re going to do our best to be together for the rest of our lives, Mother."

  "Oh, of course you do," she said, smiling at them like they were slow-witted. "Every woman thinks her relationship will last forever." She laughed derisively, shaking her head. "I don’t think there are 5 good relationships in the whole country, but more power to you."

  "That’s not true," Jordan said. "Just because you don’t know people who are happily married, doesn’t mean they don’t exist."

  "Now, don’t get all huffy with me, Jordan," Daniella said, rather dismissively. "I know you think you’re special – but humans aren’t made to be monogamous. Neither your father nor I could ever manage it."

  Jordan’s jaw nearly hit the table at this revelation. Her mother had played the martyr for more than 10 years – repeatedly moaning about her former husband’s infidelity. Jordan had always assumed that her mother had been betrayed, not that the infidelity had been mutual. Her mother’s voice droned on, "Now, I know you’re only able to think about how in love you are, but there are many, many people who don’t want to hear about that type of thing."

  Looking at her for longer than was polite, Jordan cocked her head and asked her mother, "Do you wish that I hadn’t told you, either?"

  The older woman cleared her throat and gave Mia a pointed look. "Could we have a moment alone? We won’t be a second."

  "No problem," she said with false brightness, giving Jordan a quick glance. "I’ll go wash my hands."

  As Daniella watched her walk away, she turned back to her daughter and snapped, "Look, whom you sleep with isn’t any of my business. You’re a very pretty, very talented girl, and I’m sure that you could have your choice of men or women. But I don’t want this to get out. It doesn’t look right, and it could hamper your future opportunities." Her brow tensed appreciably as she cocked her head and asked, "What does your father think about this bit of news?"

  "I haven’t told him yet," Jordan said. Lying blatantly she added, "I thought you’d be more supportive, since I know how worldly you are."

  That pleased her mother greatly, and she smiled broadly. "Well, I think a mother is always concerned for her child’s happiness. That’s all I care about, Jordan. I only want you to be happy."

  Narrowing her eyes, Jordan said, "Mia makes me happier than I have ever been in my entire life. My life didn’t begin until the day I met her. Now I know what it’s like to be loved."

  A tiny frown greeted that statement, but Mia returned and the three of them sat there with tense smiles, waiting for the check. Once Jordan had signed for it, they started to walk back to the room. Daniella linked her arm around Jordan’s and asked, "Walk me to my car?"

  "Sure. Here’s the room key, Mia," Jordan said. "I’ll be back in a minute."

  Mia extended her hand. "It was good to meet you, Daniella. I hope we get the opportunity to see each other again before the Olympics."

  The older woman attached her warmest smile onto her face and nodded, "I hope so, too. Take care, now."

  Mother and daughter walked out towards the small line of people waiting for the valets to bring their cars up to the main entrance, more than one passer-by staring at the pair in obvious appreciation. Jordan glanced at her mother and said, "Thanks for uhm … coming. I know this wasn’t what you wanted to hear, but …" With a sharp glance, Daniella cut off.

  "Not in public," she whispered. "Someone might recognize us."

  Having nothing else to say, they stood in the cool breeze, waiting patiently. When the car was delivered, Daniella asked the attendant to pull it off to the side, and she motioned for Jordan to join her so they could talk privately. "Your little friend is going to the Olympics, too?"

  "Of course she is," Jordan said. "She’s my lover … my partner, Mom. We’re not casually dating."

  "Right," she sniffed. "You’re going to be together until the end of time." Taking in a frustrated sigh, Daniella asked, "How will you ever afford to pay for her? You told me that money was tight."

  "She’s paying her own way, Mom. We’re lovers, but I don’t support her."

  That seemed to brighten her spirits, and she smiled once again. "You’re really growing up," she reflected. "I thin
k being in love will be good for you." She opened the door to her pale green Jaguar and slid into the creamy, buff-colored leather interior. "Just remember, you have to be a little suspicious of people who want to get close to you when you start to develop some fame." At Jordan’s wide-eyed expression, her mother added, "I don’t want you to get hurt, or be taken advantage of. You’re not very good at protecting yourself."

  Yeah, that’s obvious. I’m voluntarily having lunch with you! "I trust Mia, Mom. She’s in love with me for me – not my small amount of fame."

  "Oh, now, I meant nothing by that. I’m not talking about her specifically, anyway. She seems very sweet. Not quite the type of person I pictured you with, but very sweet." Giving her child a thoughtful look, Daniella said, "I could see the attraction if she were a fellow model. You’d look so elegant with someone your height. Someone who was as pretty as you are."

  Eyes darkening with anger, Jordan snapped, "Just for the record, I’ve never seen a woman more beautiful than Mia. And she’s the most loving woman I’ve ever met. She cares about me – not just herself."

  Now Daniella’s blue eyes darkened in almost the same fashion. The two women stood, rooted in position for several seconds. Finally, Daniella blinked, ending the standoff. "Well, good for you. I guess I’ll see you in September."

  "Uhm … don’t leave yet, Mom."

  "Why?"

  "I ahh … think we need to have a little discussion about money."

  "Money? Whose money?"

  "Well … mine; or at least the money that should be mine."

  "What do you mean by that?" Daniella’s eyes were like two shards of light blue glass, and Jordan could feel them cutting into her soul. But, she was determined to get this out – no matter what.

  "You haven’t given me one dollar of support since I left for Berkeley. I’ve never told Dad that, because I knew it would cause a huge fight and I didn’t want to be put in the middle of that …"

  "Wait a minute!" Daniella leaned closer and said, "I provide a lovely home for you, and it’s available to you at any time! How much do you think a home North of Montana costs to keep up, young lady?"

  "I don’t live there, Mom," she said quietly. "I never will, and you know that. You’ve kept $126,000 that’s rightfully mine, and I’ve never said one word about it."

  "You’re saying plenty of words now," Daniella snapped. "What are you angling for, Jordan?"

  Deciding to lay her cards on the table, the younger woman said, "Dad is going to petition the court for a reduction in the alimony he pays you."

  "Over my dead body," Daniella said, an unattractive sneer settled on her face.

  "I’m asking you to be reasonable," Jordan said. "That’s all – just be reasonable."

  "Your father made over one and a quarter million dollars last year, Jordan. If you think I’m going to allow him to pay me one dime less than $131,000, you’re out of your mind."

  "Well, $36,000 will automatically go away when Dad tells the court that I’m not a student any longer."

  "You haven’t graduated!"

  "That doesn’t matter, Mother. The decree says he has to pay child support until I turn 21, unless I’m a full-time student."

  "But, you’ll go back! He has to keep paying until you go back!"

  "No, he doesn’t," the younger woman said, shaking her head slowly. "His obligation is over, Mom."

  "How can I possibly live on $96,000 a year?" she gasped.

  "Dad’s going to propose less than that, Mom, and if you don’t want me to send an affidavit to the judge about you withholding my child support, I think you should try to think of a way to live on less."

  "You wouldn’t!"

  Jordan sucked in a breath while she tried to keep her breakfast in her stomach. Summoning every bit of courage that she had, she said, in a calm, even voice, "Yes … I … would."

  Remarkably, Daniella’s eyes grew even colder, her lips pressed into a tight line. "Well, someone is going to have to pick up the slack, Jordan. You’d better hope that you continue to get some lucrative ads – because you’re going to need them."

  The younger woman stepped back a bit, overwhelmingly intimidated by the tone and passion in her mother’s voice. She felt like the woman could incinerate her on the spot, but she didn’t back down. She stood as tall as she could and said, "I’m not going to model any longer – unless I have to. I don’t enjoy it."

  "You’d better learn to enjoy it," Daniella snapped.

  "No," the young woman said, her gaze unflinching. "Gunnar can get a real job and help you out if you need it."

  "Don’t be ridiculous! I have to give him two or three thousand dollars a month so he can keep up on his car payment."

  "Then you’re both going to have some adjustments to make," Jordan said. She held her pose for a moment, then turned and walked into the hotel, her legs feeling as rubbery as they had the first time Mia kissed her. Just get to the room and it’ll be all right. Mia’s here … my Mia’s here.

  When Jordan entered the room the look on her face brought Mia to her feet. "Honey! What’s wrong?"

  "I can’t," the blonde mumbled. "I can’t." She fell onto the bed, fully clothed, staring up at the ceiling, her eyes never blinking.

  "Jordan, please! Tell me what’s wrong!"

  "Please, Mia, just hold me. Please … hold me."

  Sighing, the brunette sat down by her lover. "Let me undress you, baby, then we’ll go back to bed and cuddle, okay?"

  "Yeah … yeah."

  Quickly undressing the obviously distressed woman, Mia doffed her own clothes and slid into bed. She knew that Jordan dealt with things better when she vented her feelings, but it was clear that wasn’t going to happen today. As soon as Mia pulled the covers up, Jordan turned onto her side in her favorite sleep position.

  Mia wrapped an arm around her waist, placed a few gentle kisses on her back and whispered, "I love you."

  Jordan silently lifted her hand and kissed it. "God, I hope you do." Placing the hand on her chest, she sighed, and was asleep before Mia could count to ten.

  When Mia woke, Jordan was facing her, gazing at her intently through wide-awake eyes. "I’m gonna call my father."

  "Now?" Mia gasped.

  "Right now." Getting to her feet, she crossed to the phone and dialed the number, pacing across the room while the phone rang. "Hi, Candy," she said, with a look of distaste. "Is my father home?" She paused a moment and rolled her eyes. "It’s Jordan … his daughter." While she waited, she quietly grumbled, "Do the fucking math, dumbshit! Who else would call the house and ask for her father?"

  "Jordan?" Jorgen Ericsson said when he came on the line.

  "Yeah, it’s me again, Dad. I uhm … have something to tell you, and I hoped you could spare a few minutes."

  "You need to see me … in person?" he asked.

  "Well, that would be ideal. Can you swing it?"

  "Oh, gee, Jordan, our masseuse will be here soon. We like to have a nice massage on Sunday evening to make Monday a little more bearable."

  Oh, that makes sense. Lying on the couch watching the soaps is pretty debilitating. Candy must be beat by the end of the week. "I can be there in 45 minutes, Dad. I want to talk to you about this, because if I don’t, Mother will."

  He checked his watch and sighed. "Can’t we talk on the phone, honey? I tend to go to sleep as soon as my massage is over. You don’t technically have to see me, do you?"

  "No, I guess I don’t," she said softly. "It would have been nice ... but, it’s not required." Swallowing the lump in her throat, she began, "I’ve fallen in love, Dad."

  "That’s great!" He paused for a moment, then a thought occurred to him, and he asked, "This is your first time, isn’t it?"

  "Yep. It’s my first time." She turned and gave Mia a smile warm enough to melt a block of ice. "If I’m lucky it will be the last time."

  Unable to resist her smile, Mia got out of bed and walked across the room, urging Jordan into one of the upholstered chair
s. She climbed onto her lap and cuddled close, trying to re-assure her with her touch.

  "Damn!" Jorgen said, pulling Jordan from focusing on her lover. "You probably wanted to bring this fellow over to meet me, didn’t you?"

  "In a way, yes," she said. "Only thing is that it’s not a fellow, Dad. She’s a woman." She decided to say as little as possible at this point, allowing him to process the information as he saw fit.

  "Wow," he finally muttered. "That’s a very big surprise, honey." A thousand thoughts went through his head, but he summarized them briefly. "Does this woman make you happy?"

  "Yes," she nodded soberly. "She makes me very happy, Dad. She’s a great person, and I know you’ll love her."

  "It doesn’t matter if I do or not," he said. "It only matters that you do, Jor. So, tell me about her."

  "Well, she’s a senior at Berkeley," she said, grinning shyly at Mia who grinned back. "She’s absolutely gorgeous, she has a wonderful sense of humor, and she loves me as much as I love her."

  "I guess that covers all of the important things," Jorgen said, laughing. "Is she an athlete, too?"

  "No, not really. She plays golf well, though. Maybe I’ll try to learn and we can all play together some day."

  "That would be great. Oh, what is this gorgeous creature’s name?"

  "Mia. Mia Christopher," she sighed, loving the way the name rolled off her tongue.

  "I’m looking forward to meeting Mia," he said. "I’m sure I’ll be favorably impressed."

  She was quiet for a moment, then asked, "You’re really okay with this, Dad?"

  He let out a breath and admitted, "I said this was a shock, honey, but in a way it isn’t. You’re too pretty a girl not to have had any serious boyfriends. I thought it was a pretty good possibility that you preferred women."

  "Huh … I guess that makes sense," she said. "Well, it feels like more than a preference, but no matter what it is, I’m happy."