by Lydia Rose
“I don’t know if I could have been that strong,” Allie said softly. “But I do know if I find that kind of love, I’m going to hold on tight and never let go of it.” Allie walked toward the door. “I’m going to see grandma and grandpa.” She walked down the driveway and walked into her grandparent’s home. Allie saw Alison on the sofa crying softly.
Alison looked at Allie and could tell she knew. She got up and wrapped her arms around Allie. “I’m so sorry, Allie.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I love you grandma.” Annabelle walked into the room and she opened her arms. “I love you too, grandpa.”
They hugged each other as they all cried softly.
Billy and Annabelle still at the kitchen table. “Why are we upset, Bill?” She asked. “Is it because they lied or are we ashamed because they’re two women?”
“I don’t know, sis. I’ve asked the same thing of myself. I think it’s more the shock and learning that Bill is really our father.”
“He’s not our father. He is our biological father, but we both know that Belle is our dad. You should read mom’s diary. I cried the whole time I was reading it.”
Billy nodded. “I’ll try.”
“Should we go over there or should we let Allie be ashamed of us?” Annabelle asked with a grin.
They both got up and went to the door.
When Annabelle and Billy walked into the house, they saw their parents hugging Allie.
“I’m very proud of you grandma and grandpa. I’m not sure I would have had the strength that you two had,” Allie said.
As their gaze moved to the door, the three separated.
“We’re both proud of the two of you and we’re sorry for the way we behaved,” Annabelle said.
“We know it was a shock to you both,” Alison said opening her arms to her children.
They both walked into her arms and hugged her close. Then they turned to their father and pulled him to them.
“We’re sorry, dad. I love you,” Annabelle said.
“I love you both too,” Billy said wiping his eyes.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Allie left her mother and uncle alone with their parents to talk. She walked back to her own house. “Ellen.” She called as she came into the house.
Ellen appeared at the top of the stairs. “Is everything okay, Al?”
Allie smiled. “Everything is fine. Thanks for giving us privacy.”
Ellen walked down the steps. “I was so worried about you and your family.”
Allie opened her arms and Ellen walked into them. “Thank you for coming this weekend.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” Ellen smiled and noticed Allie’s eyes were on her lips.
Allie stepped away before she did something to ruin her friendship with Ellen. “It’s been a very emotional day. How about we take a walk over to the river.”
Ellen nodded as they walked toward the door.
Once they reached the river, Allie and Ellen took a seat on the bench. Over the years her grandfather and Bill had added benches to sit and enjoy the view or to fish.
“How about we go into town and have dinner? We could always go to a small bar afterwards for a drink?”
Ellen shrugged. “Sure, it sounds like fun.”
As they walked back into the house, her mother met them at the door. “We’re all having dinner at the grandparent’s house. We’re going to break the news to your dad and June. Would you mind taking Ellen to dinner in town?”
“We already were planning to do that. Good luck with the dinner.”
“We’re going to need it.” Annabelle turned to Ellen. “I’m sorry, Ellen that we aren’t going to spend more time together on your trip here.”
“Mrs. Summers, its fine.”
Allie drove Ellen into town and they settled on a small café for dinner. “You’re awfully quiet tonight,” Allie said looking at Ellen.
“I guess I’m just lost in thought,” Ellen said with a slight smile.
“Penny for your thoughts then.”
“I’m afraid my thoughts wouldn’t even be worth the penny.”
After dinner, they walked down to the small bar. Unfortunately, everyone else in this town decided to do the same thing. They squeezed into the bar and found a table far enough away from the band so they could at least hear each other when they spoke.
Allie ordered a beer and Ellen ordered a coke. “You’re not a drinker?” She asked with a wave of her hand.
“Never acquired a taste for the stuff.” Ellen shrugged. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. I’ll drink for both of us and you can get us back to the house.”
“You trust me to find my way back to your house?” Allie asked with a laugh.
Someone walked near their table and stopped. “Would you like to dance?” He asked leaning on the table looking at Allie.
“No thanks,” she said without even looking at his face.
“How about you?” He said to Ellen.
“No thank you,” Ellen said meeting his angry face.
“Dykes,” He mumbled as he walked away.
“Yeah, that’s right. Keep walking,” Allie said turning in her chair.
The guy turned for a second and then shrugged and walked away.
“I’m sorry, Ellen. You could have danced with him if you wanted,” Allie said almost taking Ellen’s hand.
Ellen looked at Allie’s approaching hand and said. “I didn’t want to, Allie.”
Allie shrugged and began on her third beer. “It’s getting hot in here, isn’t it?”
Ellen laughed. “I think it’s the beers you’re having. You don’t drink much do you?”
“No, I don’t.”
“Then why tonight?”
Allie looked away. “I guess I’m just feeling a little sorry for myself. I’m almost twenty two years old and besides my relationship with Mary, I’ve only had a few girlfriends.” Allie sighed. “None of them was looking for a long term relationship.”
“Honey, you’re young. Enjoy life before you worry about settling down with someone.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” Allie asked.
“Well, no. No one has ever asked me out?” Ellen answered moving her eyes away from Allie’s stare.
“I can’t believe in the four years we were at school, no one asked you out?”
Ellen shrugged. “It’s the truth. I’m not beautiful like you, Allie. I’m not outgoing and I don’t come across as someone you can approach.”
Allie leaned across the table. “First of all, you are very beautiful. Especially when you smile like that,” she said pointing to Ellen’s face. “Yes, you’re shy, but once people get through that wall you put up, you are the most caring and giving person I’ve ever met. You and Jenny have been my rock these last four years.”
“Thank you for the compliment, but it isn’t true.” Ellen insisted.
“Oh, Ellen.” Allie began to slur her words. “If only you would let me show you beautiful you are.”
Ellen watched as Allie began to sway in her chair. “I think it’s time to go home, Romeo.”
“I’m not a Romeo. I can’t even keep a girlfriend and the one I really want doesn’t even know I exist,” Allie said as Ellen lifted her out of the chair.
“Okay, honey. It’s time to go home.” Ellen helped Allie into the car and fastened her seat belt. Before Ellen got into the driver’s side, Allie was asleep. “Now I hope I can find the way back,” she said to the sleeping Allie.
Ellen did manage to find her way back to the house, now she worried about getting Allie into the house and up the stairs.
“Okay, let’s go,” Ellen said as she took Allie’s seatbelt off. “Time to get up.”
“Is it morning already?” Allie asked as her eyes peaked open.
“Yes, honey. It’s morning.” Ellen had a hard time trying not to laugh. She put her arm around Allie and dragged her up the steps to the front door. “Okay, now le
t’s hope the door is unlocked.” Ellen turned the knob and the door opened. She dragged Allie up the stairs in the dim light that still burned in the house. “Almost there, Allie.”
Allie lifted her hand to Ellen’s cheek. “You are so beautiful and you’ve never given me a second thought. Why couldn’t you have been gay? I would have treated you right, Ellen.”
Ellen was shocked to hear her words. She never thought that Allie would be interested in someone like her. Never. Ellen sat her down on the edge of the bed. “Okay, let’s get you undressed.”
“I thought I’d never hear you say that,” Allie said with a giggle.
Ellen took Allie’s shoes off and asked. “Can you stand a moment?” Allie stood up and reached for her zipper. As the jeans came down her legs, Allie sat there grinning. Ellen now reached for a t-shirt for Allie. She took down the straps on Allie’s bra and put the t-shirt over her head and pushed her arms through the sleeves. Then she unhooked the bra and pulled it off. “That was easier than I thought it would be,” Ellen said to the sleeping Allie. “Sleep well, honey,” she said stroking Allie’s cheek.
“I love you,” Allie said.
Ellen smiled. “I love you too, Allie.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
When Allie opened her eyes, she had no idea how she had even gotten into her own bed. She turned over and saw Ellen lying on her side facing the opposite direction. Allie tried to rid the fog in her brain and remember what happened. She remembered going to the bar and that guy asking her to dance. She also remembered him asking Ellen and how she feared she would say yes. Ellen began to move and laid on her back. Allie looked over and saw Ellen’s eyes were opened.
“Good morning,” Allie said.
“Morning. How are you feeling?” Ellen asked leaning up on her elbows.
“Like crap.”
Ellen laughed. “I’m not surprised. Why don’t you go take a shower first and maybe you’ll feel better.”
Allie tossed the covers off and looked at what she was wearing.
“Sorry, I didn’t bother to put a pair of shorts on you,” Ellen said with a chuckle.
“You mean I couldn’t even get undressed myself?”
Ellen shook her head from side to side. “Don’t worry, I protected your modesty.”
Allie stood up. “How embarrassing. Did I do anything else like throwing up?”
“No, you didn’t do that.”
“Did I do something else?” Allie asked as she took clean clothes from the closet.
“No, Allie.”
Allie looked at Ellen before she went into the bathroom not sure if she was telling the truth.
Once the door was closed Ellen laid back down on the pillow and thought. No, you didn’t do anything, but you sure said a lot.
When Ellen went to take her shower, Allie went downstairs. “So how did it go, mom?”
“Very well. Your dad was shocked, but he said he still loved them both and that would never change. June was happy to hear the news.”
“Why?” Allie asked.
“Because she always thought your grandpa was too romantic for a man. She always compared him to Billy and June said now it made sense. Only a woman would be that romantic,” Annabelle said with a laugh.
“So everyone is okay with the secret?”
Annabelle nodded. “Yes, honey, but it’s going to feel strange to me seeing my father in a whole new light.”
“Are you going to tell James or is Billy going to tell Henry or Richard?”
“At this time, no. We decided that there is no reason to tell them at this point.”
“I agree. They might not take the news as well.” Allie looked at her mother. “I guess it really is something you’re born with,” she said quietly.
“What, Allie?”
“Being gay.” Allie looked at her mother. “Wouldn’t you say?”
“I think you’re right.” Annabelle sat down. “Did you and Ellen have a good time last night?”
“Yeah, we did.” Allie left out her having too much to drink.
“Let me make breakfast so you and Ellen can get on your way.”
Ellen and Allie had breakfast with the parents and then Allie went to say good bye to her grandparents.
“Hi, honey,” Alison said when she walked into the house.
“Hi, gran. I’m happy that everything went well with the family,” Allie said smiling.
“I am too. Are you going back to school?”
Allie nodded. “Still have finals to finish before graduation.”
Annabelle walked in the back door. “Hi, Allie. I’m glad you’re still here.”
Allie stood up and went to grandfather. “I love you, grandpa,” she said with a squeeze.
“I love you too, honey. Thank you for everything.” Annabelle looked at her granddaughter’s face. “I’m sure you spoke to your mother and helped with this situation.”
Allie grinned. “Maybe I just pushed a little.”
Alison stood up and went to them.
“I want you to know how proud I am to call you my grandparents. You both were so brave to do what you had to for love. I’m still not sure I would have been brave enough,” Allie said squeezing them both.
“Yes you would. When you fall in love, you’ll understand.” Alison looked at Allie. “Are you in love, Allie?”
“I do care deeply about someone, but it’s another straight girl.” Allie shrugged. “So the love I feel is not of happiness.”
“Oh, honey,” Alison said wrapping her arm around Allie. “Tell her. If she doesn’t feel the same way, then you can move on. Like you had to do with Mary.”
Allie nodded. “Schools almost done and I will tell her because I probably won’t ever see her again.” She hugged her grandparents again and walked toward the door. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”
“We’ll be there, Allie.” Alison wrapped her arm around Annabelle’s waist as they watched her leave.
“Who do you think she’s in love with?” Annabelle asked as she kissed Alison’s forehead.
“Ellen, of course.” Alison looked at Annabelle. “And I think Ellen feels the same way.”
****
Jenny finished her last final exam and was packing up her room when Ellen and Allie walked into the room.
“Stop packing,” Allie said walking over to Jenny. “We’re going out to celebrate.”
“I’ve got too much to do, Al,” Jenny said continuing to pack.
“We’re just going for a couple of drinks and then we’ll come back and help you finish.” Allie grabbed Jenny’s arm.
“Okay,” Jenny said grinning. “You win.”
They walked into the dimly lit bar and found a booth near the back. Once the drinks were in front of them, they lifted their glasses.
Ellen began. “You have been such a good friend to me these last four years. I will miss you dearly.”
“I couldn’t have asked for a better roommate and friend,” Allie said. “Don’t be surprised if you find me on your door step one day.”
Their glasses clinked and they took a sip.
“You two have been wonderful. You made being away from home so much easier. I love you both and I hope you both will visit me in New York,” Jenny said wiping her eyes.
Jenny left the following morning with Jeff headed to New York.
Allie was sitting alone in her dorm room that evening when the knock on the door startled her.
“Come in.” She called out dropping the book she was reading onto her lap.
“Hi,” Ellen said poking her head inside. “How are you holding up?”
“I haven’t spent too many nights alone in this room. It seems so strange.”
Ellen sat on the edge of Jenny’s bed. “I’m sure Jenny will be giving you a call tomorrow sometime.”
“I already got a phone call saying they were in New Jersey and would be reaching New York shortly.”
“Is all your family coming to the graduation?” Ellen asked softly.<
br />
Allie nodded with a smile. “I couldn’t keep them away if I wanted. Is your mom coming?”
Ellen nodded. “Allie, as you know I have not been home since I left for school. My mother is a drunk who has the worst taste in men. All I heard when I was growing up that if I wasn’t around, she might be able to hold onto a man. The day I left she told me not to come back.”
Allie jumped off her bed and took Ellen into her arms as she sat next to her on the bed. “I’m so sorry, honey. I never wanted to ask about your family because I thought you would tell me when you were ready.” Allie’s arms squeezed. “You know my family will be cheering for you tomorrow.”
Ellen wiped the tear that fell onto her cheek. “Thank you.”
Allie released her arm around Ellen, but continued to hold Ellen’s hand.
“I don’t know how I would have gotten through school without you. Your friendship has meant everything to me.” Ellen lowered her head. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
“You can come visit me at the farm and when you find a job, I’ll come to you.” Allie smiled as she squeezed Ellen’s hand tightly.
“It won’t be the same as seeing you every day, Al.”
“I know,” Allie said softly. “You don’t know how much I’m going to miss you.” She looked at Ellen’s face and her eyes moved to her mouth. Before she could talk herself out of it, Allie’s lips pressed lightly over Ellen’s lips. As she broke the chaste kiss, Allie looked at Ellen. “I’m sorry, but I had to know what that felt like.”
“I’ve been dying to know myself,” Ellen said softly and looked at Allie’s surprised face. “Did you think you were the only one falling in love?”
“Uh, I had no idea, Ellen.” Allie paused. “But we can’t act on this, Ellen.” She took a deep breath. “You’ll be here in Raleigh and I’ll be at the farm.” Allie let the breath escape her lungs. “I tried that once and you know how well that went.”
“I’m not Mary.” Ellen stood up. “Look at me. I love you and I don’t want anyone else, but you.”
“You’re not even gay,” Allie said lowering her head.
“I never wanted any man. Ever, Allie. I’m in love with a woman so don’t presume to tell me you know what I am.” Ellen insisted strongly.
