A Good Day for Crazy: A Time Travel Mystery

by L. L. Muir

  “You’re right. I wasn’t at home this morning,” she lied. “I was only describing a typical day when I am home. Winding up here, though, was not the plan.”

  His face dropped like he thought she regretted the outcome. So she hurried to assure him that it was a very happy accident.

  “Happy accident.” He grinned. “I like that very much. Now. Let us quit this labyrinth and see if we can encourage more happy accidents this evening.”

  Without warning, he put his hands on her hips and swung her up into the air. Her skirt and slippers easily cleared the perfectly shaped shrubbery that was only eighteen inches high. After he hopped over to join her, he swung her over the next line of bushes, then two more times until they were free of the twisting pathways.

  With a clear route ahead, he didn’t bother offering his arm, but took her hand instead and headed off, even faster than before.

  She glanced at the trees and suspicion dawned. Just how many others had he led out to the orchard?

  Don’t be ridiculous. He’s not real. Therefore, there have been no others.

  And she pretended, very hard, that she believed it.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  In a chaotic mass of black clothes, white sheet music, and glowing lanterns hanging overhead, the orchestra sat beneath a large pagoda east and south of the maze. Beyond that, movement caught Ashlynn’s eye and she looked closely at the farthest perimeter of light from the lanterns.

  Like a line of statues placed twenty feet apart, at least a dozen young men stood with their hands behind their backs, like they were waiting to be needed. They held no weapons, so apparently the era wasn’t so far in the past that the place needed guards. But the boys all wore matching uniforms of pale gold and white beneath their dark coats. Their hip-long vests had a pattern, but they were too far away to see clearly.

  Ash and Alexander reached the end of the manicured gardens and paused. A large flagstone beneath them marked the halfway point in the ten-acre expanse. Alexander waved toward the line of living statues and the nearest one came running. The young man held his arms to his sides as he ran, which was comical, but apparently, he didn’t want to draw attention to himself.

  Ashlynn’s subconscious was working overtime. Impressive, really, since she rarely picked up a Regency romance novel, unless she was stressing out over a deadline and needed to escape far, far away.

  The boy—maybe seventeen or eighteen—stopped in front of Alexander and bowed low. “My lord?”

  “Find Haulsey. Tell him to announce to my guests that we are cutting the evening short due to the change in weather, with my apologies. Send for their carriages.”

  At the mention of weather, the kid’s eyes made a quick scan of the sky. He frowned, but quickly let his expression fall blank again. Then he nodded as he listened carefully to half a dozen other instructions, committing them to memory.

  “Have one of the coaches on the galloper warmed up immediately,” said her hero. “And send for Braun. I shall expect half a dozen lads as well. That is all.”

  “Beg pardon, my lord.”

  “What is it?”

  “I expect Mr. Haulsey will ask about the supper…”

  “Have it laid out for the servants. All are welcome to it.”

  “Yes, my lord. Thank you, my lord.” If the kid was surprised, he hid it well.

  He bowed but didn’t leave until Alexander turned his back to him. His face lit up for a split second before he hid his expression again and hurried away. He completely forgot to keep his arms at his sides and ran flat out for the dark side of the garden before turning toward the house.

  Alexander turned back to see what Ash was looking at, then watched with her. When the boy was out of sight, he rolled his eyes, shook his head, and murmured something about hungry boys. “If you can be patient a little longer, I promise to get you warm. But in the meantime…” He started to take off his jacket, but she stopped him.

  “I can wait. I promise.” She bit her lip to keep from asking him to stand a little closer.

  It was hard to pretend she wasn’t disappointed. Apparently, men named Haulsey and Braun were going to chaperone them. And if they were warming up a coach, Alexander probably meant to send her home soon.

  Obviously, her characters were not leaving the script to her.

  The moment stretched out. The silence grew awkward, so she reached for small talk. “What is a galloper? A very fast carriage or something?”

  As before, he looked surprised and pleased at the same time. “You do not know?”

  She shook her head. “I assume it’s a fast horse.”

  He nodded. “Many horses. But you will see soon enough. It is something I saw in Germany and had one built here.” His grin turned mischievous. “I hope it will prove I am not as boring as you fear.”

  She laughed. “Oh, that’s right! I’d nearly forgotten how, uh, handsome you are.”

  He winced. “I certainly haven’t forgotten how, uh, enchanting and lovely you are. Nor have I forgotten how magical. Eventually, I hope you will trust me with the truth.”

  She lifted her eyebrows a couple of times and fed his own words back to him. “Brace yourself for disappointment.”

  His gaze dropped to her lips. “That reminds me. We have unfinished business that might help warm us whilst we wait on Braun.”

  She stepped away from him and clasped her hands together to keep him from grabbing one of them. Another bucket of adrenaline had dumped into her system when he’d looked at her lips and she needed a minute. It was better to let the wave pass over her instead of allowing it to sweep her off her feet. Dream or no dream, she still had her pride. And if she wasn’t careful, she would end up fawning all over him.

  And Ashlynn Garrity didn’t fawn.

  The orchestra started playing a slow, almost mournful melody, but only a few couples danced. The other guests milled around, nodding their heads together while the music drifted across the cool night air like mist floating across a lake. Long notes from a violin curled and stretched, teasing Ashlynn with the tune from her grandmother’s music box that she’d found in Uncle Dewey’s things. At least it was one detail she knew had come from her memories. From where her subconscious had drawn this other stuff was a mystery she would probably never solve.

  Alexander stepped close. “You are coming undone again.” He dragged a finger along the side of her face, to catch a lock of hair and tuck it behind her ear.

  “Don’t kiss me,” she warned. “I’m afraid it would break the spell.”

  He gently pried her hands apart, held them in his own, then squeezed her fingers. “The only thing you need fear, my sweet, is that I may never let you go.”

  Okay. That was totally something she would have written. Her psyche was feeding him the lines, telling him just what a woman wanted to hear from her hero’s lips, but she pretended the sentiment was his own idea.

  While she basked in the delusion and the warmth radiating off his body, she noticed a number of the uniformed young men running along the perimeter, headed for the orchard. But even if she and Alexander weren’t going to be alone in those trees, at least a galloper, whatever it was, didn’t sound like it was a means of sending her away.

  She gasped. “I just realized—you’re the neglectful host.”

  He put a little more respectable space between them and inclined his head. “You would agree, would you not? I have ignored the majority of my guests due to a complete and utter obsession with an admitted interloper. I am certain I shall be the scourge of the Ton for the entirety of the London Season, or until someone else instigates a more titillating scandal. Naturally, I am mortified and heartbroken.”

  He laughed. And the way he laughed, with a slightly high-pitched glee, proved he was lying.

  “I’m beginning to think,” she said, “that you’re more interested in scandal than you are in me.”

  He stopped and pulled her hands straight out to each side, which brought them toe to toe. “Never.” Then h
is smile crept back. “Just another happy accident.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Though the orchestra continued to play, it couldn’t drown out the murmurs of Alexander’s confused guests. As Ashlynn obediently followed Lord Beaufort farther from the maze, however, the low rumble was forgotten and only the higher strains of music followed them through the neat rows of trees and the dark shadows beneath.

  Lights on the far side of the orchard kept them from walking completely blind, and they emerged into a clearing lit with two dozen large oil lamps hanging from poles. Those poles were placed in a giant circle, in the center of which stood what could only be described as a large yurt with no walls. The round wooden roof that peaked in the center was held up by posts.

  Beneath the roof, with hundreds of bright surfaces reflecting the lamplight, were wooden horses pulling miniature carriages, attached to a round wooden platform.

  “This is your galloper? It’s a carousel!”

  Alexander’s smiled dimmed. “Then you have seen one.”

  She shook her head. “Not like this!” She waited for a nod from him before she hurried forward. “This is so…antique. It has to be one of the first—”

  “I am certain there are dozens of them by now.”

  Dozens? More like thousands. But not in his time.

  “It’s beautiful.” She stepped onto the wooden floor and touched the nearest horse. It had a red, flat saddle on its back that could easily fit two children. The reins were leather, the faces and nostrils a lot more square than usual.

  There were four horses in front of each of three small carriages. Each lead pair had their front legs suspended with pins in the knees so the bottom part of the legs swung freely. The only thing missing were the brass poles she expected to move them up and down.

  Apparently, it was too early in history for that.

  “Ashlynn?” Alexander’s voice came from just behind her, so when she turned to face him, she nearly knocked him off the stage. He reached around her to grab the horse for balance and ended up pinning her snugly in between.

  She concentrated on breathing. “Hmn?”

  “You must choose,” he whispered. His lips were dangerously close.

  “Just what am I choosing between?”

  “Would you like to ride one of the horses, or would you prefer a warm coach?”

  An older man in an all-black uniform stood beside one of the carriages. Expressionless. Waiting. She smiled at him. He only nodded in response.

  She lowered her voice. “Is that Braun?”

  Alexander shook his head while his attention remained on her lips. “That is Haulsey.” With his chin, he gestured to something behind her. “That is Braun.”

  She twisted around to see a tall, thick-necked man standing in a wide hole in the center of the carousel. He fiddled with a funky-looking machine that consisted mostly of metal gears and two large cranks placed on either side, like pedals on a bicycle.

  “Ready when you are, my lord, my lady.” He gave her a quick nod.

  She smiled. “You’re German. Did you build this?”

  He grinned, then gave her a second nod.

  “All right, lads,” Alexander called out, and half a dozen young men appeared around the edges of the stage. To her, he said, “Choose quickly!”

  “Oh! Coach!”

  “Then you had best hurry!” He signaled to the boys, then held her hand as she hurried back toward the ornately painted box.

  Haulsey opened the little door, then quickly hobbled off the side of the stage with wide eyes and a barely discernible yelp. Ashlynn realized it was moving, clockwise, when the older man disappeared from view.

  She ducked inside the carriage and planted her butt on the cushioned seat, grateful to be off her feet before she lost her balance. Unlike merry-go-rounds from her youth, this wasn’t a smooth ride at all. It sped up and slowed depending on the boys pushing it, but then suddenly took off without their help.

  They let go and stopped running, grinning and laughing as they stepped back.

  Braun shouted and she realized his machine had taken over, thanks to his big hands grinding on the handles. She gripped the little window when she realized how fast they were going. If the hardware that kept them anchored to the spinning floor failed, they’d fly off like Mary Poppins, but it wouldn’t end well!

  Too bad her subconscious couldn’t add a roll bar, a few air bags, and seat belts.

  Alexander laughed beside her. “If you want to hold onto something, hold onto me!”

  She shook her head. “Not a chance! You’re not bolted down!”

  “Bolted down? What makes you think anything is bolted down?”

  Her panicked expression made him laugh even harder. He’d been teasing. And since he wasn’t holding on for dear life, she pretended to relax and released her death grip. They had just begun to notice each other’s lips when the coach hit some kind of bump, but this time it was Alexander who grabbed the window in alarm, and Ashlynn’s turn to laugh.

  Eventually, she laughed so hard her eyes began to water.

  Alex reached out a finger and caught a tear. “I take it you cry uncle?” When she nodded, he gave a shout out his window and the carousel slowly wound down to a stop.

  She shouted a thank you to Braun. He grinned and blushed, then tipped his cap.

  Alexander watched over her shoulder. “I see I am not the only man you have won over tonight.”

  “Oh?” She batted her lashes like a heroine in a black and white movie. “And who else?”

  He laughed and pulled her around to face him. She glanced around his shoulder at the closed door.

  “Let us stay in here for a while. Braziers have been placed under the floor, to warm you.” He pulled a small blanket from the bench across from them and slipped it behind her. It was quilted and wool, but it wasn’t scratchy. “There you are. Better?”

  “Better.” Though she doubted the little box could keep its heat in for long with so many uncovered windows. And once the night grew too cold?

  She caught him frowning. “Alexander?”

  “Hmn?”

  “Thank you. I haven’t had so much fun in a long time.”

  He shook his head. “Oh, now. Do not suppose this is the end of the evening. I have to prove, beyond a doubt, that not all handsome men are dull.”

  “I think you’ve already—”

  His fingers suddenly pressed against her lips to cut her off. “Do not say it. Nothing is finished here, do you understand?”

  She nodded, even though she knew their time was just about up. Any minute now, her alarm would go off and she’d wake up alone—except for a massive dog that pretended he didn’t need her.

  Her bladder suddenly woke up as if it, too, sensed the alarm clock counting down. Or maybe it was the blanket and the warmth radiating up from the floor that melted all her insides and filled her bladder beyond capacity.

  She pulled down on his wrist to drag his fingers away from her mouth. “Alexander?”

  He looked from her eyes, to her lips, and back again. “What is it?”

  “I need to… Um, I…” She had no idea what term he would understand. “I need to …relieve myself.”

  His shoulders relaxed like he’d been worried she wanted to ditch him. Then he pushed the little door open, and stepped out. He gave her a hand while she did the same. “Just beyond the orchestra—”

  “I don’t have that kind of time.” She stepped off the stage and was glad to see that all those young men had disappeared, along with Braun. But at the edge of the fruit trees, a thick grove of bushes waited for her. “I’ll manage. Just stay where you are.”

  Alexander shook his head and stepped to the edge. “I will not allow you to disappear—”

  “Don’t you move!”

  He froze with one foot in the air, one hand on the red mane of a painted horse. “Shall I stand like this then, until you return?”

  She laughed carefully as she backed away toward the shrubbery
just beyond the ring of light. “You can put your foot down, but don’t you let go of that horse, do you hear me? When I come back, your hand better be right there.”

  He dropped his chin to his chest. “I promise. It will be right here. After all, we still have that third kiss to see to.”

  “That’s right. And as long as you don’t kiss me, this won’t end.”

  They exchanged a quick but intense look in a moment she knew she would remember forever. But nature won out and she had to turn away. She picked up her wide skirt and made a run for it.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Five feet into thick cover, she pulled her dress up in front and started pulling down her underwear. Another few feet and she had to stop moving to kick it out of the way. With her skirt bunched up around her, she bent her knees, leaned back against a rough tree trunk, then walked her feet out as far as she could so her precious slippers wouldn’t get wet.

  If she compared the moment to the dozen times she’d had to step off a hiking trail to pee, the dress gave her much better privacy than she was used to. But when she was only half empty, she heard men’s voices!

  It was impossible to tell which direction they’d come from thanks to all the splashing. And though she tried to stop the stream, her body wouldn’t obey. All she could do was close her eyes and will the men to go away.

  “I’d give anything for a bathroom with a door that locks…”

  As soon as the words passed her lips, she wished them back. After all, it was a lie. She wouldn’t have given up her dream for it. She wouldn’t give away what little time she had left with Alexander—

  But it was too late.

  Instead of leaning back against the tree, she was suddenly leaning back in her desk chair with warm liquid spreading beneath her butt, soaking her thick sweats. With her arms outstretched, her fingers hovered above the keyboard, a Word document sat open on the monitor, and the little cursor blinked next to the words But it was too late.