Uncle John’s Unsinkable Bathroom Reader

by Bathroom Readers' Institute

  Shortly after the release of Rock ’n’ Roll, Yoko Ono announced that she was pregnant with what would be the couple’s only child, Sean, born in October 1975 (on Lennon’s 35th birthday). Lennon decided to retire from the music business and focus his attention on raising his son. In 1980 he returned to the studio to record a new album, Double Fantasy, but he was shot and killed that December at age 40, a month before the album’s release to critical acclaim.

  Levy’s decades of shady business practices did finally catch up with him. Though he’d been under investigation by the FBI off and on since the early 1950s, in 1986 he was finally caught. He was indicted for conspiring with a Genovese boss to extort money from a music wholesaler. He was convicted and sentenced to 10 years in prison, but while the case was on appeal, Levy died of liver cancer in early 1990. He was 62.

  New Yorkers eat more Wonder Bread per capita than the residents of any other U.S. city.

  MAKING A MOVIE, PT. V:

  POSTPRODUCTION

  Good news, Uncle John: Principal photography has been completed! Bad news: Your movie is only half-done. (Part IV is on page 433.)

  SHIFTING GEARS

  Once filming has wrapped, the number of people working on a movie shrinks from a few hundred to a few dozen. And the workplace shifts from huge soundstages and grand locations to small rooms with computers and video screens. While much of the postproduction work actually begins while the movie is still filming (such as visual effects), most of it isn’t completed until a month or two before the movie’s release. (That’s why movie trailers often have different music, different visual effects, or even different scenes than the final film.)

  In charge of the process is the postproduction supervisor, who maintains the schedule, hires vendors, brings the actors back if necessary, and keeps the distribution and marketing departments informed of the progress. That way, the director and producer can spend their time looking over the editor’s shoulder.

  EDITING

  Without a highly skilled editor fitting all of the pieces together into a well-paced narrative, the movie wouldn’t work. The editor’s first task: create an assembly cut of the film—nearly every single take from every single scene, put into order according to the script. The director then spends a few days viewing it over and over, marking the best takes for the editor. With that information, the editor makes a rough cut. The director then watches that, looking for three main things: the order in which the scenes occur, how the shots are cut together within each scene, and which scenes didn’t work as planned. With a new set of notes, the editor cuts the movie yet again. This fine-tuning keeps going until everyone is satisfied.

  It’s said that a good editor will “discover the film” in the cutting room, putting emphasis on an aspect of the movie that the director may not have seen as that important.

  Illibilli, Sudan, is the world’s longest palindromic place name. Second longest: Nigeria’s Uburubu.

  Reel-Life Example: The first rough cut of the original Star Wars presented to writer/director George Lucas in late 1976 was a mess. The pacing was slow; some shots lingered too long and others ended too quickly. With the film already behind schedule, Lucas fired his editor and brought in three new ones: Paul Hirsch, Richard Chew, and his own wife, Marcia Lucas. One such quick cut was when one of the sandpeople attacked Luke (Mark Hamill) with a staff. At the end of the original shot, the creature raised his staff above his head and then the shot ended abruptly. Hirsch extended the scene by running the film backwards for a brief second just as the creature’s arms reached their highest point, then repeated that upand-down move four times, adding emotional impact.

  Did it work? Yes. Lucas has since credited the editing as one of the main reasons for the unparalleled success of Star Wars.

  ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY

  Why do so many movies have a “typical Hollywood ending?” After the rough cut of the film is finished, the studio will show it to test audiences and focus groups who then answer a series of questions: “Did you understand the plot?” “Did you like the ending?” If the majority of viewers answer “no,” the studio will mandate a new ending (often a happier one) and bring the principal actors back in for additional photography, sometimes called pickups or re-shoots. New sets often have to be built, because movie sets are designed to last only the few days they’re needed and are then destroyed.

  Another reason for additional photography: Sometimes the director or producer feels something is missing—perhaps a reaction shot that further explains a character’s motivation. According to screenwriter John August (Big Fish), “In most cases, it’s not that you’re adding something great, but rather that you’re replacing something sucky.”

  Reel-Life Example: The 2007 horror thriller The Invasion, a remake of the classic sci-fi film, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, was German director Oliver Hirschbiegel’s first English language film. Test audiences (and Warner Bros. execs) found the film too “claustrophobic” and “moody,” so producer Joel Silver took the extreme step of bringing in a new director to reshoot much of the film. In fact, he brought in three directors—Larry and Andy Wachowski, directors of The Matrix trilogy, and their longtime collaborator, James McTeigue—to redo all the action scenes and the ending.

  Did it work? No. After arriving in theaters a year and a half after its original announced release date, The Invasion was lambasted by critics and bombed at the Box Office.

  In June 2004, a beauty contest was held in western Croatia…for goats.

  AUTOMATIC DIALOGUE REPLACEMENT (ADR)

  ADR, or lip-synching—also called looping—occurs months after filming has wrapped. Although the director would love it if every bit of dialogue recorded during filming was usable, much of it is not—either due to low audible levels, extraneous noises, or performances that didn’t quite hit the mark. In addition, naughty words need to be changed so the film can be shown on broadcast television, or if the studio just wants a more family-friendly rating.

  Reel-Life Example: In the 1999 comedy Galaxy Quest, when Gwen (Sigourney Weaver) sees the “Chompers” that she must run through, the audience hears her say, “Well, screw that!” but her lips are obviously saying…something else.

  Did it work? Yes. After the original cut was deemed “too dark,” much of the violence and language was toned down in postproduction, making Galaxy Quest more accessible to a younger audience that helped it earn more than twice its $45 million budget.

  VISUAL EFFECTS

  Working against tight deadlines, digital effects artists pore over every layer of every frame, striving to combine digital and traditional shots, often “painting” out green screens and adding in background plates (such as a fake sky)…hoping that the director will approve of their completed shot.

  Reel-Life Example: One of the most effects-heavy movies ever made was 2003’s The Return of the King, the conclusion to the Lord of the Rings trilogy. One particularly complex shot featured two giant, elephantlike creatures (called mûmaks) crashing into each other, and then tumbling to the ground. After working on the shot for six months, the digital artists were disheartened when director Peter Jackson informed them that it lacked the size, force, and impact that he was looking for. But time was running out—they only had two days to redo it. Working nonstop, the effects team was able to match up with Jackson’s vision.

  Did it work? Yes. Jackson’s insistence on perfection in every aspect of the filmmaking process was rewarded with massive commercial and critical success, culminating with eleven Academy Awards, including the Oscar for Best Visual Effects.

  President George W. Bush was treated for Lyme disease in August 2006.

  SOUND DESIGN

  Every scene of a big-budget movie contains dozens of separate and distinct sounds: squeaky floor boards, slamming doors, barking dogs, cars, thunder, coughs, sneezes, crashes, explosions, and so on. Each must either be found or created in post-production. The sound designer will first search through vast sound effects libraries (which e
xplains why you’ve heard the exact same hawk screech in so many movies). What can’t be found must be created by Foley artists—named after influential Hollywood sound effects man Jack Foley. Working in either a soundproof room or outdoors if required, these technicians pull from a giant bag of tricks.

  Reel-Life Example: For the 2008 animated comedy WALL-E, in which a discarded robot must save humanity, producer Jim Morris brought in veteran sound designer Ben Burtt, who first made his mark on the Star Wars films. Since WALL-E must communicate without words, Burtt used the same technique he used 32 years earlier for R2-D2: he recorded his own voice making kid sounds and then ran those through a synthesizer.

  Did it work? Yes. Because the speechless robot was given a human foundation for his vocal utterances, audiences were able to identify with his plight, helping WALL-E to become a huge summer hit.

  MUSIC

  Music is divided into three categories: The soundtrack consists of songs played over the top of the scene that help convey mood. These are found by the music supervisor, working from a director’s wish list. This process is usually started before postproduction begins, as negotiating payments and securing rights can be a lengthy process. The second category is source music, sometimes called incidental music. This may be the background music played at a restaurant or a carnival ride at a fair. Rights have to be secured for incidental music as well, unless it’s in the public domain. The third category is the score, original music that a composer creates specifically for the film.

  The paper bucket used for chicken by KFC was created by Wendy’s founder Dave Thomas.

  In most cases, the composer isn’t brought in until well into postproduction. Once on board, he or she will watch the most recent edit of the film—often accompanied by a temp track of preexisting music to help convey what the director is looking for. Then it’s up to the composer to write the music, and for the music supervisor to hire an orchestra and book studio time to record it. This is also an area where creative differences often occur.

  Reel-Life Example: In 1989 Hans Zimmer was hired to score Ridley Scott’s action movie, Black Rain, starring Michael Douglas as an American cop caught up in the Japanese underworld. Zimmer tried to bring something new to the typical action score by blending in traditional Japanese music. He recalls that producer Stanley Jaffe “hated the score so much that I actually got shouted at after a screening, and I fainted. By the time we got to the dub stage, I was just living in fear. And it’s odd because after the Oscars, I went to a private party. Michael Douglas was there, and he said, ‘You really saved my a** in Black Rain.’”

  Did it work? It appears Douglas was right; the movie earned $134 million in worldwide ticket sales. And Zimmer boasts that his ethnically flavored music has had a lasting influence. “Black Rain had somehow set up a new way action movies could be scored. Soon everybody was doing the Black Rain thing.”

  TITLE SEQUENCES

  Some filmmakers still open their movies with elaborate title sequences. A great deal of work is put into these stand-alone “short films” that, according to Saul Bass, the man who pioneered them in the 1960s, “should create a climate for the story that’s about to unfold.” The process: The script or the most current cut of the film is sent to a title design company along with the list of credits, a music temp track if one is available, and any instructions concerning the style (animation, computer graphics, and so on). After the designers watch the film, they draw up style frames of what the sequence will look like. Once the director approves those, they complete a rough draft of the entire sequence. And it goes back and forth until the director is happy; then the music is mixed in, and the title is ready to go.

  Each eye of a dragonfly has about 30,000 lenses.

  Reel-Life Example: Four of the five 2007 Best Picture nominees used a “cold” opening (no title sequence at the beginning). The only one that used a traditional opening title sequence was Jason Reitman’s Juno, a comedy starring Ellen Page as a teenager dealing with pregnancy. Reitman hired a small company called Shadowplay to do the sequence, and the process was a bit different than most feature films. Before animating the entire sequence, Gareth Smith, co-founder of Shadowplay, sent style frames—inspired by vintage 1970s punk-rock posters—to Reitman for approval. After that, hundreds of photographs were taken of Page walking on a treadmill carrying a bottle of orange juice. Those were then cut out and hand-animated to create the retro feel. Adding to the whimsy of the sequence was the song, “All I Want Is You,” by Barry Louis Polisar, which Reitman had chosen himself. “Title sequences tend to be an afterthought for most films,” says Smith. “We prefer to develop ideas early in the filmmaking process, which we think enhances the storytelling of the film.”

  Did it work? Yes. Juno cost $7.5 million and grossed over $228 million worldwide, making it one of the most profitable films of all time…and making Shadowplay a not-so-small company anymore.

  PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

  As the release date looms ever closer, the work intensifies.

  • The final sound mix. This is the last step in the creative process. Any given shot in a film may contain dozens of sounds. For instance, a bar fight will contain the actors’ voices, source music, score music, sound effects of punches landing, windows being broken, and what’s known in the industry as walla (background murmur noise). Every single one of these sounds needs to be carefully balanced by the sound editor.

  • Locking the picture. Most of the postproduction tasks have been going on simultaneously, with the director running from one office to another, looking and listening, and signing off on things. But at some point, the work must stop, and that’s not often when the filmmakers would prefer. As director Peter Jackson once said, “You never really finish a film; you just keep working on it until they tell you to turn it in.” (Just like making a Bathroom Reader.)

  • Making prints. The finished film must be copied up to 2,500 times for distribution to theaters all over the world. This is a highly technical process that takes place in specialized labs. Because making thousands of copies would wear down the master, a series of intermediate prints must be made to copy from: first is the interpositive, a low-contrast copy on very fine-grained film stock. From this new master, a set of internegatives are made. These contain the separate audio tracks; some will also be given subtitle tracks for foreign markets. The final step is to create the individual copies, which are divided into reels, each holding 2,000 feet of film (on what is technically called a double reel). A typical film will comprise five separate reels. Now they’re all ready to be sent to theaters—bigger movies will be given fake labels in an effort to curb piracy. Often the final reel won’t be sent until the day before the film opens.

  High tide? Coral can be found around the tops of some Alaskan mountains.

  MARKETING AND DISTRIBUTION

  A separate company, hired by the studio, has been working for months on ways to get the movie shown in as many theaters and to get as much buzz among filmgoers as possible. They negotiate with distributors, film festival organizers, as well as marketing companies that will help promote the film. They send the finished film to exhibitors—theater owners who pay for the right to show it and then share in its profits. The latest trend is viral marketing, mainly done on the Internet. This consists of getting online users involved in the process while the film is being made, relying on word of mouth to increase the buzz. The more faith a studio has in a film, the more money it’s willing to spend to advertise it.

  LETTING IT GO

  The release date finally arrives. Commercials have been airing; press kits and posters are displayed in theaters; and the stars have promoted the movie on talk shows. Now, the film is completely out of the filmmakers’ hands—it is up to the movie-going public to decide whether or not they’ve succeeded.

  But the odds are not in the filmmakers’ favor: Out of the roughly 600 movies that get released into U.S. theaters each year (about 2/3 of those are independently made)—only a select
few will turn a profit. And less than one percent will become classics. For that to happen, the concept needs to be fresh, the story needs to be well written, the film needs to be well shot, well acted, and well edited; and the timing in the marketplace needs to be right. A misfire in any of these areas results in yet another one of the thousands of movies that you see sitting there see on the video shelf…but never seem to be able to bring yourself to rent.

  The only Brady Bunch kid to appear in every episode: Bobby.

  RANDOM THOUGHTS

  We leave you with a few entertaining—and poignant—observations.

  “A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a witty person, but a pebble in the hands of a fool.”

  —John Roux

  “I never knew an early-rising, hard-working, prudent man, careful of his earnings, and strictly honest, who complained of bad luck.”

  —Henry Ward Beecher

  “Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique, and not too much imagination.”

  —Christopher Isherwood

  “What’s right is what’s left if you do everything else wrong.”

  —Robin Williams

  “I would like to be allowed to admire a man’s opinion as I would his dog—without being expected to take it home with me.”

  —Frank A. Clark

  “It is a cliche that most clichés are true, but then like most cliches, that cliche is untrue.”

  —Stephen Fry

  “Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women.”

  —Groucho Marx

  “Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.”