Surprised that Jaxon hadn’t found me by now, I sent him a text to check in. Then I took a deep breath and formulated a response to Miss Molly. I kept it simple, letting her know that I remembered her and would love to reconnect. I included my phone number and nearly jumped when my FaceTime app rang almost immediately after the message went through.
The reunion was an emotional one. Upon seeing each other, we both broke down into tears. She asked to hear all about my life, and more tears were shed when I shared some of the details. Admitting that she had hoped to be able to adopt me, she had been heartbroken when the judge ruled in favor of returning me to my biological mother. I told her that, in my heart, she was the only real mother I’d ever had and that losing her had impacted me deeply as well.
As the conversation moved on, she told me more about herself. I had never been able to remember much about her husband, which always seemed odd to me. But I learned that he had been in the Navy and was deployed most of the time I had been with her. Sadly, he had died the year after she lost me. Grieving both of us, she’d moved back to her hometown of Virginia Beach, where she currently lived.
Since a few hours wasn’t nearly enough time to catch up, she offered to come see me. She rushed to make sure that she wasn’t being too forward, but with the time we had already lost, I was as eager as she was. Feeling more at home, I invited her to stay for the weekend. With the tour starting back up on Tuesday, it was now or never, and I didn’t think Jaxon wouldn’t mind. To make sure, I sent him another text to ask him where he was so we could talk.
I was just finishing a sandwich in the kitchen when Mama Bee came in carrying several bags of groceries. After helping her put them away, she showed me how to make the peach cobbler she had planned for dessert. We chatted as we worked, and I felt like I could have burst from sheer joy. Mama Bee noted my mood, but I wanted to talk to Jaxon about everything before I shared my news with her.
With no answer from Jaxon, I began growing concerned. Even on a property as big as his, we had never gone long without at least seeing each other. And he had never ignored my texts before. Assuring myself that I was being silly, that he’d probably forgotten to charge his phone last night, I went in search of something to keep me busy.
Back in his cabin, I changed the sheets and gathered all of the dirty laundry to haul to the main building to wash. After restocking our refrigerator with items from the main kitchen and pantry, I decided to get a head start on packing so I could enjoy the weekend with Molly. Once my new suitcase was filled, I gave in to the urge to check my messages. Still nothing from Jaxon, but I did have an email from Natalia.
A job offer stared back at me along with a scheduled interview time for tomorrow. I guess the expression was true: things happened when you least expected them to. Natalia wrote that LGR was looking to expand its philanthropic efforts and she thought I would be perfect for the job. The timing was crazy, but maybe it could be a good thing. As long as she was willing to let me work remotely, maybe I could combine some of my ideas with their vision. That thought sent a new wave of excitement through me.
Too restless to sit still, I cleaned the cabin from top to bottom while processing everything. As evening approached, and still no word from Jaxon, I ignored the worry in my gut. Instead, I trekked back to the lodge to move the laundry from the washers to the dryers before heading to the kitchen to help with dinner.
Just outside the kitchen, I caught Jaxon’s voice. Pausing to let the relief wash over me, I froze when his words hit me.
“Mom, I love her, but it was never my plan for her to live here forever.” His voice sounded resigned though not overly upset. Was that why he had been ignoring me all day? Was he trying to put some distance between us? “Sometimes, you have to love someone enough to let them go. Maybe love isn’t enough or it’s just not meant to be a forever kind of love.”
The room seemed to tilt, and I reached for the wall to steady myself. Surely, I had heard him wrong. The man I loved, who had promised that he would always love me, wouldn’t simply change his mind. What had I done wrong?
“So, you’re okay with her leaving?” The concern in Mama Bee’s voice had me covering my mouth to keep my whimper from reaching them. Losing her would be another blow to my already devastated heart.
“Yes. This is what she wants, and I fully support her.” I shook my head in denial though they couldn’t see me. I didn’t want this. Part of me wanted to go in and make him understand that, but my feet were rooted to the floor.
“Even if she won’t be working for you anymore?” Mama Bee asked.
Why wouldn’t I be working for him? Had he already heard about my job offer?
“I’m not going to lie. It won’t be easy to replace her, and she’ll be missed by a lot of people.” Wouldn’t he miss me? The thought of not seeing him every day was unimaginable. “But her job will always be here if she wants it.” I didn’t want my job if I couldn’t have him. There was no way I could survive it.
“Okay,” Mama Bee agreed. “You’ve been so good to her, giving her a job and a place to stay. Sometimes I worry that she’s too dependent on you. I think that some independence and a fresh start will be good for her.”
I felt sick. Running to the nearest bathroom, I barely made it before my stomach heaved. Wave after wave of nausea hit me as bits of the conversation replayed in my head. Once my stomach was empty, I curled up on the tile floor. I was already so cold, it barely registered.
He wanted me to leave. Mama Bee agreed with him. I wasn’t wanted. Again. The feeling was so familiar, yet the intensity was like nothing I’d ever felt before. I stared blankly at the ceiling, the sound of my heartbeat filling my ears. Out of habit, the survival instincts I’d honed over the years kicked in, prompting a mental inventory. Basic needs: food and shelter. No one was kicking me out, so the situation wasn’t dire. There was no immediate threat to my health or safety. Money: I had some savings in the bank and a job offer.
Then it hit me.
Jaxon had known about the job offer.
Had he been the one to arrange it? The timing couldn’t be ignored, and I felt ill all over again. Closing my eyes, I gave in to a few minutes of self-pity. Then I scraped myself up off of the floor and put one foot in front of the other. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, hoping it would hold an answer for the day’s events. Sadly, it was just me: the same girl from the trailer park who would never be good enough. I swished some mouthwash while I washed my hands. Then I went to finish the laundry.
Without realizing it, I defaulted to invisible mode. Blend in, be helpful, and don’t cause trouble. Folding the freshly washed sheets, I stoically responded to Jaxon’s text that finally came through. Apparently, he was ready to see me now.
“Hi, baby,” Jaxon said, lacking his usual enthusiasm. His arms held me tightly, and all I could wonder was if it was the last time.
“Where have you been all day?” I asked, hoping that this was all a bad dream. My face nestled into the crook of his neck, where I never wanting to leave.
“I was writing.”
“I missed you,” I said around the lump in my throat, my hand rubbing the spot over his heart to feel its steady, soothing beat.
“Sorry. I zoned out and lost track of time.” He gently pulled back and searched my face. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I assured him automatically. No matter how hard this would be, I refused to make it harder by making a scene. The concern in his eyes weakened my resolve, so I gave him a partial truth. “I’m just tired. It’s been an emotional day.”
The anticipation nearly killed me as he asked about my day, my call with Miss Molly, and every other mundane topic imaginable until he eventually got to the point. “Mom said you have some exciting news.”
“I do.” Forcing a smile, I attempted to tell him about the job offer from LGR, but the words got stuck in my throat. For a brief moment, I debated telling him about my ideas for continuing to work with the band instead. Maybe I
could convince him that it would work, that we would work. Determined to at least try, I searched for the right words.
“You should take the job,” he stated, his face emotionless.
It was like a physical blow to my chest. “What?” I didn’t want to believe that I was too late, that my chance to change his mind was gone.
“I already know about the job offer,” he said, confirming my suspicions. “Natalia called me to get my blessing, and I fully support it.” His voice was strong, leaving no doubt.
“You want me to go?” I clarified, still reeling at the reality of hearing the words firsthand.
“You’ve been waiting for your whole life this the opportunity. You need to take it.”
Before Jaxon, I wouldn’t have hesitated to take the job. He was right. It was exactly what I had been striving toward for years. But without him, it would be a hollow victory. The sensible side of my brain acknowledged that it would at least provide a distraction from the unrelenting ache in my chest. Barely aware of doing so, my head nodded in silent agreement, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hold back the tear that managed to escape.
“I love you,” I sobbed, needing him to hear it one more time. He had given me so much, and I would love him forever.
“I love you too, baby.” I didn’t doubt his love for me, but my heart broke that I wasn’t enough for him. “You’ll like Nashville,” he said as if it would matter where I lived if he wasn’t there. “It’s a quick plane ride, and the band visits a lot for business and when we’re recording. We even have a show scheduled there soon, so we’ll still see each other.”
The thought of having to see him in such a limited capacity made me cry even harder. I didn’t know if I could withstand it.
Tilting my face, he placed the sweetest kiss on my lips, and as it ended, I felt like I was being torn in half. I turned toward the laundry to compose myself, and when I turned back around, he was gone. Somehow, I made it to the cabin and managed to crawl into bed before I fell apart. Crying until there were no more tears and I was numb with grief, I welcomed the darkness that pulled me under.
Staring out the window of the plane, the world passed by like it was any other day. My cold, lifeless hand was in Jaxon’s warm, steady one as he sat beside me. I was numb, going through the motions and pretending that I wasn’t a complete and total wreck. It was the worst possible torture, soaking up every last crumb of affection while knowing it was all coming to an end.
When Jaxon had slid into bed last night, I’d turned into his arms, desperate for the warmth and comfort only he could provide. Not caring about the hurt that would follow, I savored each beat of his heart against my hand, the warmth of his arms around me, and each second of simply feeling loved.
I hadn’t fallen back asleep until the early morning hours. Still, when my alarm went off, he was gone. I showered and dressed in a fog. The cup of coffee I made with Jaxon’s favorite creamer gave me a slight boost and a small, tenuous link to him.
The trip to the airport was quiet. Shawn drove while the rest of the band and I rode quietly. With my head resting against the window, I drifted close to sleep. The sweet escape it offered was too compelling to deny. Hushed voices drifted over me in my state of semiconsciousness, lulling me further.
With the grace of a zombie, I made it onto the plane and into a seat, seeking the oblivion of sleep once again. Fragments of my time with Jaxon replayed in my dreams, surrounding me with warmth. All too soon, the pilot’s announcement of our descent had jarred me back into reality, where I was covered in a blanket and Jaxon was holding my hand.
He remained close and attentive as we piled into the waiting SUV for the short drive to Lucky Greene Records. Natalia greeted us in the lush atrium, looking every bit the executive in a sharp navy suit and emerald green blouse. Confidence radiated from her as she led us to an elevator. I was asked to join the first part of their meeting though I couldn’t imagine why.
Bianca and an older gentleman, who turned out to be Roger Greene, were already seated at the conference table when we arrived, and I immediately noticed the smug smile on Bianca’s face. With my nerves already shot, the mundane small talk and offer of refreshments seemed to last an eternity.
“Alright, everyone,” Natalia said, standing at the front of the room to get started. “Our first item of business is to review Detrimental’s standing so we can develop a successful plan moving forward. PR needs to be adjusted accordingly, which is why I’ve brought Bianca in today. She had been temporarily reassigned while we completed some research. Today, that changes.”
Bianca preened and shot me another gloating look. Redirecting everyone’s attention to the TV monitor, Natalia presented several slides from my research project. By the end, Bianca was looking a little less sure of herself.
“Granted, this is exceptional work, but you should have been the one doing it,” Natalia told her, the reprimand clear. “Instead, you were busy contriving ways to make Jaxon look bad. That ate at me because I couldn’t figure out what you stood to gain. It certainly wasn’t helping sales. Not his anyway. So I did a little digging and found that every time Jaxon’s name got dragged through the mud, raising sympathy for Krissy, she had a small spike in sales. And guess who was in the same college sorority?” She let the accusation hang briefly. “Sisters for life, right Bianca?”
A few pictures flashed on the screen, one of Krissy and Bianca in college and one of them out to dinner recently. Bianca bristled under the accusation but made no attempt to defend herself. “That alone was cause for termination, but then some more information came to my attention. With the help of the IT department, I was able to pull your email history and gather more evidence.”
“What? You can’t do that!” Bianca shrieked.
Natalia simply lifted an eyebrow. “Perhaps you should review the company’s technology policy, which you signed. All communication is company property, so it was easy to verify your scheme with Krissy. That was strike one. Your affair with Gordon and threats to tell his wife if he didn’t turn a blind eye to your efforts was strike two. Then you hired a private investigator in an attempt to discredit Anna and sell your findings to the tabloids. Strike three.”
At the sound of my name, my head whipped up. Bianca had been digging into my past? I immediately worried about what she had found and if it would be enough to make Natalia rescind her job offer.
“I hope the information you got was worth it because that was an unauthorized expense and payment has been denied. I’m sure you’ll be receiving a call from the PI to settle the bill. In the meantime, security is waiting in your office to escort you from the building as soon as you’ve gathered your personal belongings.”
Bianca’s mouth gaped like a fish out of water before she stormed out of the room.
“My apologies,” Natalia offered, smoothing the front of her jacket. “I would normally handle a termination in private but felt you deserved to be made aware of her actions.”
A stunned silence filled the room.
Clearing my throat, I asked the burning question. “What did the investigator find out about me?”
Natalia’s face softened a bit as she turned to me. “Nothing more than proof of a hardworking woman determined to make something of herself.”
“I was arrested as a teenager,” I admitted, putting everything on the line. The last thing I wanted was to get my hopes up about the job if there was any chance it would be taken away. I’d had enough of that to last a lifetime.
“I appreciate your honesty, but I don’t see any relevance. Your work speaks for itself.”
“According to the state’s website, Illinois juvenile records are automatically expunged after two years of a clean record,” Shawn added, holding up the information on his phone.
“Perfect,” Natalia said. “I think everyone deserves a clean slate and a chance to move on from their past.” Her eyes held Shawn’s long enough for the silence in the room to grow awkward. Snapping into awareness,
she turned to me again. “I need to deliver some paperwork to HR. I’ll walk you to your interview.”
Standing on shaky legs, I felt like she was the executioner leading me to my fate. Jaxon squeezed my hand and stood to walk me to the door while Natalia gathered her papers.
“I just want you to be happy.” His eyes were pleading. For what, I didn’t know. But how was I ever supposed to be happy without him? Placing a kiss on my cheek, he wished me luck and let me go.
Chapter 27
Jaxon
The closing of the door echoed through my mind like a tomb being sealed shut. My chest constricted, and I gripped the chair to physically resist the urge to run down the hall. A relentless need to be close to her had come over me the moment I’d seen her that morning, a shell of the vibrant woman I loved. And it hadn’t let up.
She was wearing her pantsuit and, on the surface, appeared to be the epitome of a fierce businesswoman. But I saw the cracks in her veneer. I noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the faint tremor in her hands. Pale and withdrawn, my concern for her had grown with each passing minute. My beautiful angel, who hated taking naps, had sought sleep in the car and again on the plane, shattering my already broken heart.
Eli and Lance had quietly argued with me in the car, insisting she was only doing this because I told her to. But they didn’t understand. Eight years of grueling work and sacrifice had led her here. This was her dream come true. All I had done was encourage her. If she didn’t want to go, she would have said something. Right?
But my confidence had been shaken despite trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing. Wracked with doubt, I’d held her hand until the chill of her skin had me settling a blanket over her. Careful not to disturb her, I’d simply watched her sleep, her usually calming presence doing little to quiet the thoughts that plagued me for the rest of the flight.
Changing the Key: A Detrimental Rock Star Romance (Book 1) Page 27
