Changing the Key: A Detrimental Rock Star Romance (Book 1)

by April Michelle

  Like an impossible dream, I could still see our life together. Living together, touring together, and having a family together. The specifics remained irrelevant. I didn’t care how grand our wedding was, what the house looked like, or if we had a dozen kids or just one. The only thing that mattered was having Anna at the heart of it all. Until yesterday, that had been possible. Hell, I would even say probable. Today, it was like a desert mirage; an illusion taunting me just out of reach.

  Throughout the meeting with Bianca, my doubts had persisted. Running on very little sleep, it was difficult to remember the exact details of our conversation the night before, but something about it continued to nag at me.

  As the depth of Bianca’s betrayal had been exposed, I’d been angry but relieved to finally have some answers. If nothing else, I now understood her motives, even though they didn’t justify her actions. But learning that she had been attempting to humiliate Anna made my blood boil, and I considered myself fortunate to be rid of her and Krissy both. As an added bonus, I knew that Bianca’s reputation would be in ruins. The news would spread like wildfire, and by tomorrow, she would be lucky to get a job as a parking attendant at a major record label.

  Temporarily distracted, I’d nearly panicked when Anna stood to leave. I grabbed her hand, desperate to hold on to her just a little longer. My mind felt like it was stuck right on the verge of solving a riddle. But I was out of time. Walking her to the door, I was forced to leave it up to her.

  “I just want you to be happy,” I said, silently begging for her to tell me this had all been a misunderstanding and it wasn’t what she wanted. But she remained silent. The only visible response was her brow creasing in confusion before I kissed her cheek and watched her walk away.

  Now I sat, barely hearing the details of our next contract. Thankfully, Shawn had a head for business and seemed to be handling the meeting without any help from me. Roger listened to our demands and accepted them, hoping to make up for the time he was away. His intention had never been to dictate how we should look or sound. The PR clauses in our contract had been there to allow LGR to make changes if, and only if, the band became a liability or behaved in a way that reflected negatively on the label. Knowing everything we stood for, he had no problem giving us more control. It was exactly what we wanted, and I should have been thrilled, but misery clouded everything.

  Still, it was unfair to burden Shawn with all of the responsibility today. There was a lot to iron out, and I needed to take an active role in the process. I was almost thankful when a paper was placed in front of me, forcing me to focus.

  “As promised, this is the contract allowing you to re-record ‘Hit the Bricks’ and giving you full ownership rights,” Natalia explained. “Your lawyer has already approved it.”

  “Good. We’re anxious to get into the studio,” Shawn told her. “And the profits will be donated to help fund charitable drug addiction awareness and rehab programs.”

  “That’s very generous of you. Have Anna set it up and send me the details so the story can be included in a corporate press release.”

  “Anna?” I asked, my heart kicking at the sound of her name.

  Oblivious to my inner turmoil, Natalia brushed my question aside. “Yes. We’ll cover that in a few minutes.”

  But a few minutes turned into thirty as Roger and an LGR lawyer painstakingly hammered out more specifics of our new recording contract. I endured the debate weighing the pros and cons of signing for a set number of albums versus a set number of years. When wording was fine-tuned and amended regarding artistic freedom and our public persona, I persevered. After all, they were working hard to make sure that we got the contract we wanted. The least I could do was make it through the meeting.

  But as everyone else forged on with the negotiations, I was slowly going crazy. I grew jittery, and my skin felt too tight. I tried to will away the escalating panic by watching the clouds outside the window. Breathing exercises came next. Draining my water glass, I tried to extinguish the burning in my gut. Nothing helped.

  Each minute spent in that conference room took Anna farther away from me, and I was helpless to stop it. Out of desperation, I started playing the What If game. What if Lance and Eli were right? What if I’d been so blinded by my assumption that she would want the job that I inadvertently pushed her into taking it? What if I was simply grasping at straws, willing to believe anything that supported getting her back? Round and round my thoughts swirled in an invisible vortex.

  I was finally saved when Natalia began highlighting some new changes at LGR and how they would affect us. As much as it pained me, I was eager to hear about Anna’s new role with the company.

  “To compete with the advantages of going indie, we’re allowing you to choose the team you work with. That includes everyone from writers to producers to backup musicians and, of course, publicists. You have the option of hiring in-house or bringing people of your choosing to be contracted through LGR.”

  “Publicists?” I echoed, trying to make sense of her words.

  “Yes. When I made Anna the offer, I assumed you would want her to continue handling your PR since she’ll already be with you. Is that correct?”

  “She’ll be with me?” I sounded like an idiot, repeating everything Natalia said as my sleep-deprived brain struggled to keep up. Was she implying that we could choose to have Anna working for us and join us on tour?

  “Well, yes. I structured her position to include working remotely whenever you’re touring.”

  “She can work remotely?” Could it be true?

  “Absolutely. She’s proven to be more than capable. Besides, I would never offer her a job and then expect her to choose between family and work.

  I looked around the table to see everyone staring expectantly at me. Sadly, my addled brain glitched out. It was too overloaded with information to formulate an intelligent response. Then, Natalia added more.

  “That brings me to another announcement. Since we have several interests in the Charlotte area, we’re planning to expand there by the fall. We are currently looking for studio space, and once we find that, we can better determine an office location.”

  Stunned past the point of even repeating the words aloud, they simply reverberated in my mind. Anna could work remotely. An office would be opening near Charlotte. The final piece shifted into place and the gears in my head finally started turning. There was no reason for her to move to Nashville.

  You want me to go?

  “Fuck!” I stood so fast that the chair tipped and hit the floor behind me. She thought I wanted her to leave. And I told her to do it. I frantically looked around the room, noting that both Eli and Lance shook their heads in exasperation. “Fuck!” I shouted again as the ramifications hit me. “Where is she?” I turned to Natalia, who wore an amused expression. Sometimes it paid to be an artist. Strange behavior was almost expected from time to time.

  “Second floor, suite 230,” she called as I was halfway out the door.

  I ran in the direction of the elevators, too focused on my mission to care if I was making a scene. After repeatedly pecking the down button, as every impatient person did to somehow speed up the process, I paced in front of the elevator door.

  Thinking over the past twenty-four hours, more pieces began falling into place. The shocked look on her face when I told her to take the job. The tears she tried to hold back when I told her to go. The gut-wrenching sobs when I continued to promote Nashville. Each one brought a fusion of regret and hope.

  Looking back, it became clear that she never wanted to leave me. So why didn’t she say something? She had come so far from the insecure girl who was afraid to speak her mind for fear of punishment or abandonment. Yet she had given up on us so easily. Why? Had something else spooked her?

  Replaying the rest of the conversation in my mind, I was no closer to having any answers. But knowing that she felt like she was being pushed away again hurt me like a punch to the gut. No wonder she had shut down. Fo
r her, there was security in being invisible.

  The elevator doors finally slid open, and I practically leaped inside. Fueled with purpose, I didn’t care if I interrupted her interview. For once, I would act every bit the demanding rock star. This couldn’t wait.

  While I hoped the interview was going well, I dreaded the worst. What if she had already signed, accepting the job and opting to work in Nashville? What if the interview had already ended and she was out looking at nearby apartments? Fuck. The descent dragged on with stops at two more floors. Each time, I wanted to scream in frustration. What if I was too late?

  No.

  No more what-ifs. Anything done could be undone. And I wasn’t taking no for an answer.

  The doors finally opened on the second floor, and after scanning the office numbers to get my bearings, I took off. The hallway was quiet, the carpet silencing my heavy footfalls. I had just rounded the corner when I saw her several doors down. Relief flooded me, nearly bringing me to my knees. But my earlier momentum pushed me forward as Anna rushed to close the distance. Halting in time to brace myself, she launched herself into my arms. The impact nearly sent us both crashing to the floor.

  I crushed her to me, starved for the feel of her body pressed against mine. This was where she belonged, and I wasn’t ever letting her go again.

  Chapter 28

  Anna

  Deb, the manager of the philanthropic department, raved about me joining her team while I faked enough enthusiasm to get by. Drawing on all of my prior experience with pushing through difficult times, I was able to answer her questions and even formulate a few of my own. The ideas that I shared were well received, and I felt like I would be a valued member of the team. All in all, it would be a perfect fit for me.

  But everything felt wrong. My suit was itchy, and my shoes pinched my little toes. The windowless room was little more than a glorified cubicle and had a strong draft from the air-conditioning, giving it a drab, wintery feel. Still, I reminded myself to be grateful for the opportunity the job would provide. I needed to think positive.

  And yet my curiosity got the best of me. Despite feeling like I was poking at an open wound, I couldn’t help but ask, “After the initial training period, would working remotely ever be a possibility?”

  “I thought that was the plan.” Deb checked her computer, the clickety-clack of her nails filling my stunned silence. “Here it is. The last update I received from Natalia has you scheduled for orientation in six weeks. Until then, you’ve been assigned to continue handling publicity for Detrimental while you tour with them. If you’re up for it, you can also start some basic charity work for LGR from the road. After you get back, you’ll be here for two weeks of training so you can meet the rest of the team and we can bring you up to speed on the other projects in the works. From there, it will just be a matter of setting you up to work from home until the new Charlotte office opens.”

  A whimper bubbled out of my throat, but I quickly played it off as a thoughtful hum. Meanwhile, there was only one thought occupying my mind. I could have had it all: the dream job and the love of my life. If only Jaxon had loved me enough to want me to stay.

  That was the hardest part to understand. He had assured me time and again that he loved me and would always be mine. Then he pushed me away. A day ago, everything had been perfect, and I didn’t know what had changed. I hadn’t seen much of him throughout the day, and that itself had been out of character for him. But the trouble seemed to pivot around the job offer. He admitted to already knowing about it when we talked in the laundry room. And the conversation with his mom made his opinion clear. Even when I’d asked him point-blank, he told me to take the job and encouraged me to move to Nashville.

  Over and over, I replayed the day in my mind, trying to figure out why he would have done that when he claimed to love me. Then, like a switch had been flipped, I understood. He was doing it because he loved me.

  I love you. So, I’m never going to let you give up on your dreams.

  Sometimes you have to love someone enough to let them go.

  I just want you to be happy.

  He never said that he didn’t want me. But his biggest fear in loving me was becoming someone who held me back. And my dream was being offered up on a silver platter. So he sacrificed his happiness for the sake of mine.

  I had been so lost in my misery this morning that I hadn’t noticed his. But it was there. He still wanted me. And I wanted him more than any job, even my dream job, whether it was in Nashville, Charlotte, or Timbuktu. He was my dream. I just needed to convince him of it.

  Deb was watching me, an expectant look on her face, having no clue that I was in the middle of a life-altering moment. She was simply waiting for my reaction to some seemingly innocent information.

  “Sounds perfect.” And it did. I would have to split my time between the band’s needs and my charitable work, but it also meant that we would be together. It was a compromise I was more than willing to make.

  I couldn’t exactly excuse myself from the interview, but as soon as we finished, I grabbed my purse and made a hasty exit. All I could think about was getting to Jaxon. Despite wobbling a bit as I rushed down the hallway in my new high heels, my confidence soared. That invisible girl from the trailer park was gone. In her place was a strong, independent woman, who was worthy of love. I had become part of a family and was no longer alone. I just had to stop being afraid to stand up for what I wanted.

  Picturing Jaxon in that conference room, miserable and unaware of how close we were to having everything, spurred me on. The bell from the elevator around the corner rang out like a beacon. When Jaxon came into view, I kicked my shoes off mid-step and ran full speed toward him. I knew the instant he saw me because he raced in my direction. As soon as he was within reach, I threw myself into his arms, knowing that he would always catch me.

  With my arms and legs wrapped around him, he slowly spun me in a circle while we caught our breath. We both spoke, simultaneously.

  “I don’t want to go.”

  “Please don’t leave me.”

  “You promised to never hold back when it came to loving me,” I accused, my face buried in his neck.

  “I know. I’m so sorry. I thought this was what you wanted and that you would regret not following your dream. I was trying to support your choice.”

  Easing apart, I laced my hands behind his neck. “You are my choice.”

  “And you are mine.”

  The kiss that followed was a balm for our bruised hearts. We savored each other, taking our fill of hope and healing. And though our lips eventually parted, we remained wrapped up in the comfort of each other.

  Exhaling loudly, Jaxon rested his forehead on mine. “It damn near killed me to watch you walk away today.”

  “Why did you?”

  Noticing a few curious heads poked out of their doorways, he reluctantly led me into a vacant office. He settled me into his lap on the small sofa, neither of us ready to break our physical connection.

  “Natalia called me yesterday to tell me she was offering you a job. Then my mom said you had some exciting news to share, and I saw your packed suitcase in the cabin. I thought you wanted to go.”

  I shook my head in disbelief at how easily things had gone awry. “I was excited to tell you that I decided to go back on tour and had some ideas about how I could plan events in each city along the way. The job offer was an additional possibility, but only if it didn’t take me away from you. But you avoided me all day, and I started to have doubts. Then you and Mama Bee both thought it was better if I left. And when you finally came to find me, your mind was already made up. I felt helpless to change it.”

  His hand took mine in a supportive gesture as his head shook in denial. “My mom adores you. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about the job for fear of upsetting her. When did she talk to you?”

  “She didn’t. I was looking for you and overheard the two of you talking in the kitchen. She said I was t
oo dependent on you and that a fresh start would be good for me.” Even the memory nearly clogged my throat with emotion.

  Confusion covered his face until realization swiftly replaced it. “Oh, baby. We were talking about Callie, not you.” More of their conversation must have played back in his mind because he grew more adamant. “Something happened between Callie and Derek. She wants to move out of her cabin and possibly leave her job with the band.” He gathered me close, rubbing his hands up and down my back. “God, I wish you’d said something.”

  “I should have,” I admitted, knowing that I could have prevented a lot of heartache for us both. Why was the bad stuff so much easier to believe? Bolstered with courage, I sat up to face him and admit how wrong I had been. “Everything you said played on my worst fears, and the old familiar feeling of rejection took over. I didn’t handle it well.”

  The hurt on his face mirrored mine as he spoke. “I hate that you so easily doubted me.”

  I swallowed past the tightness in my throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to. But then you stood right in front of me and told me to go even though you said we would figure things out together.”

  “Shit,” he sighed. “You were already rattled, and everything I said made it worse.”

  “You really don’t want me to go?”

  “No. That’s the last thing I want. What about you? Tell me what you want.”

  So I did. I told him my ideas and how I could implement them while on tour. The pride shining in his eyes held as we discussed the job with LGR and how it would be a perfect fit, for both of us.

  “It’s going to be amazing, baby. I can’t believe we almost fucked everything up. Let’s never do that again.”

  I chuckled at his optimism. “That sounds like a good idea.” Love was complicated and didn’t always go according to plan, but I was ready to fight for what we had. Shifting to straddle his legs, I ran my fingers through the scruffy stubble covering his face. “I love you.”