If You Could Only Imagine (Buchanan Brothers Series Book 2)

by M. E. Clayton

  Everything Mason, Shane and Michael advised me flew out the window at hearing her tell me she was done with me. I wonder if this is what it felt like when Mason had been threatened with the idea of not having Shane in his life, because I felt motherfucking unhinged.

  I stepped and kept stepping until I backed her up against my desk. I leaned over her until she had to bow her back slightly to be able to look up at me. “I’m going to say this, Denise, and I’m going to only say this once.” I waited until I was sure I had her undivided attention. “I’m very aware of how badly I fucked up with Sampson. I’m, also, very aware how pissed you are and that you have every right to be mad at me. But there is no way in hell I’m letting you walk away from me over one, little fuck up.”

  Her eyes rounded and I almost winced. I should have not used the phrase ‘one, little fuck up’, because it was a big fuck up. This was her career and respectability we were talking about. “One, little fuck up?” she screeched. “One, little fuck up?!” And then being off the clock took on a whole new meaning. Denise slapped at my chest and started full-on reading me the riot act. “You jackass! That was not one, little fuck up! Raymond Sampson is very important, very prominent, and very connected. How do you think it’s going to make me look when he starts telling his colleagues how you’re not even one month in and your employees are already in line to fuck you?!”

  “Denise…” I reached for her flailing hands, but they were like slippery octopus tentacles, flopping all over the place.

  “I’m going to lose all credibility and clients will start thinking they can fuck me if they have enough money, status and power!”

  Her words brought me up short. I was finally able to get a hold of her hands, and squeezing them in mine, I asked, “What did Raymond Sampson say to you?” If that motherfucker disrespected her in any way, I was going to fuck him up. I’ll just have Mason call the same lawyer Dad used to use for Michael when we were younger.

  Denise yanked her hands out of mind and shoved me backwards a step. I let her. “He said he guesses he better learn how to call me Ms. Hart from now on, or should he address me as Mrs. Buchanan!” she was screeching again by the time she was at the end of her sentence.

  I couldn’t help it.

  I was already in deep shit, but I just couldn’t help it.

  Denise was threatening to have nothing more to do with me-and I believed she was serious-but what did I do? I let the extremely inappropriate smile take over my face and said, “Mrs. Buchanan sounds about right.”

  My balls ran for cover, while my common sense just, sadly, shook its head at me.

  Denise’s eyes were the size of dinner plates. “You are serious cracked in the head, Aiden Buchanan,” she breathed. “And since crazy people are not my cup of tea, stay the fuck away from me!”

  She went to step around me and leave, but I reached out, and grabbing her upper arm, yanked her back towards me. I ignored her gasp. “I’m going to let you leave because, again, I was wrong and you have every right to be pissed, babe. But this is not over,” I told her. “We are not over. Hell, we will never be over,” I stressed. “But we will figure the rest out together.”

  Denise shook her head at me. “I’m not doing this, Aiden.” At least, she was back to using my first name. “I will not risk everything I’ve worked so hard for just to be some rich white guy’s flavor of the month.”

  Her words had rendered me so shocked, I didn’t even notice when she broke free from my grasp.

  Chapter 15

  Denise~

  It was Tuesday morning, and I was still solidified in my decision to take the blame for the mess I was in. I meant what I had said to Aiden. I wasn’t going to blame him, even though his behavior was ultimately his responsibility.

  From the moment I first laid eyes on his tall, broad, muscular frame, I knew he was bad news. And the second my hand was encased in his, I knew he was dangerous to everything I’ve worked so hard for. I knew it and I let my hormones, dry spell, and Kelly’s bad advice turn me into a cliché.

  I was that sleazy secretary screwing the boss. Well…I wasn’t a secretary, but the title applied for the purpose of self-deflagration.

  And Kelly totally sucked donkey balls.

  I had called her last night as soon as I had gotten home, and insisted she come over and help drink my sorrows away, since she was partly to blame for this mess, but she claimed she had a business dinner. She promised to drink with me tonight and I was holding her to it. Something told me I was going to need it.

  And that something proved correct as soon as I walked off the elevator to my office floor.

  Sarah was standing at her desk, her smile…off. “Good Morning, Denise,” she greeted.

  “Good Morning, Sarah,” I replied as calmly as I could manage. “What have I missed?”

  Sarah was a tall blonde with very expressive blue eyes. She looked like the perfect girl next door. And just as her eyes were expressive, so was her face. She was guileless and didn’t have a poker face worth a damn. “You know I love you, right?”

  I couldn’t stop the eye roll or the heavy sigh. “Spit it out, Sar,” I told her, wanting to get this over with.

  Her pretty lips rolled in between her teeth and then she let them out with a pop before saying, “Okay, so it might sound bad, but it’s not,” she tried to assure me. “But…the building wasn’t quite as empty as you might have thought when you…uh, you and Mr. Buchanan were…talking…”

  No.

  No goddamn way.

  I had shut the door behind me when I marched into Aiden’s office yesterday evening. I mean, I stormed out of there in a huff, but I hadn’t seen anyone in the hallways or anywhere on my floor. I had gone back to my office to retrieve my purse and coat and lock up, and I hadn’t seen anyone anywhere.

  There’s no way someone could have overheard our argument.

  “Sarah…”

  She knew what I was about to say because she grimaced a bit and said, “The office walls are pretty thick, but not thick enough to drown out an argument, Denise.”

  I didn’t bother denying the argument. “But no one was around, Sarah,” I protested. “The floor was empty.”

  She cleared her throat. “The gossip I got was that there was an after-hours meeting in the conference room down the hall from Mr. Buchanan’s office. When a couple of people excused themselves for a restroom break, one saw you march into Mr. Buchanan’s office without knocking and then someone else heard raised voices, even if they couldn’t hear exactly what was being said.”

  Okay. So, okay. That still didn’t mean anything. If they couldn’t hear what we were saying, the argument could have been work related, which, technically, it sort of had been.

  “So, what exactly is being said?” I asked. “That, barely two weeks in, I’m fighting with my boss’ boss?”

  Her blue eyes shifted, and I knew it was bad. “Not exactly, Denise.”

  I no longer wanted to have this conversation out in the open as we were. “Sarah, can you please follow me to my office?” I knew I sounded short, but all my nightmares were becoming real life.

  I didn’t bother to look behind me to see if she was following me. Sarah was loyal and good people. I knew she’d follow.

  Once we reached my office, Sarah shut the door behind her as I hung up my coat and dropped my purse on my desk. I turned to her, and she looked so sullen. “Okay, just give it to me straight, please.”

  Sarah let out a deep sigh and spilled. “Okay, no one knows what you guys were arguing about. That’s fact,” she began. “What everyone is speculating on is the fact that you barged into Aiden Buchanan’s office without knocking, Denise. You’ve always been nothing but professional at work. You have been hit on by lots of men and you’ve encountered some real assholes throughout your career here at BI, but you’ve never faltered in your professional behavior, not once.”

  She’s right.

  “So, what’s the most popular speculation this morning?” I as
ked, not wanting to know, but needing to know.

  “The consensus is that only someone with personal ties would dare storm into Aiden Buchanan’s office like that, so…you guys must have gotten personal,” she finished, regretfully.

  I could feel the pressure behind my eyes and the tingling inside my nose at the hint of tears. “And what do you think?” I asked her.

  She gave me a small lift of her lips. “I think it’s nobody’s business, including mine, what kind of relationship, if any, you have with Aiden Buchanan.”

  She couldn’t know how grateful I was for those words. I’ve always valued Sarah’s respect, and it meant a great deal to know I still had it. “Thank you, Sarah,” I replied, genuinely smiling. “I really appreciate that.”

  “No need to thank me, Denise,” she replied. “It’s true.”

  I didn’t want to tell her what was going on, but with Raymond Sampson free to speak on what happened in my office and, now, witnesses to the argument, I didn’t see a reason to hide it from her. Besides, if she knew the truth, maybe she could help with damage control.

  Ugh. Damage control.

  I was going to have to go to HR or Mason Buchanan with this new development.

  “What I’m about to tell you, I hope you will keep between the two of us, Sarah. Or at the very least, use it to help squash the rumors and speculation,” I winced.

  Her eyes widened. “Denise, you don’t have to tell-”

  I help my hand up to stop her. “It’s okay,” I assured her. “Really, Sarah.”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  “Aiden Buchanan and I…were involved,” I said, hating how that sounded coming out of my mouth. “But we had a falling out, and it’s over.”

  Sarah looked crestfallen. “It is?” she whispered.

  I nodded. “It is,” I reaffirmed. “But it will not affect how things operate around here, I promise.” Then I remembered myself. “I mean, it won’t affect how things operate around here again.”

  “Denise…”

  “No. Please,” I interrupted. “I take full responsibility for what happened and I’m not going to excuse my unprofessional behavior, because there is no excuse.” I still believed that. “I crossed a line, and once I speak with HR and Mason Buchanan, I can only hope to still keep my job.”

  “But…but that’s not fair,” she cried.

  “It might not be fair,” I agreed, “but it’s just, Sarah. I willingly got involved with Aiden Buchanan and whatever comes of it, I have no one to blame but myself.” I couldn’t believe how heartbroken I was over all of it. “He didn’t force me or bribe me, Sarah,” I whispered the truth.

  Sarah just nodded and looked resigned to accept the fallout every bit as much as I was. “Okay,” she muttered. “And…and I’ll do my best to…stave off some of the speculation.” She raised her head and propped her shoulders back as if she was going to war. “I am not going to let them crucify you or think they can speak about you in any disrespectful manner.”

  The first warm smile of the day crossed my face. “Thank you, Sarah. Thank you, so much.” She gave me a brisk nod, and I watched as she opened the door and walked out of my office.

  I dropped into my chair and wondered what the fuck to do. The problem with quitting is that no one quit Buchanan Industries unless it was for upward growth and opportunity. BI was one of the best-run conglomerates in the nation. No one left their employ just to go work somewhere else doing the same thing. My reasons for quitting would follow me and I’d be a laughingstock no matter where I applied.

  This was everything I feared. I had done everything right in my life until now. I had stayed in school, gotten good grades, stayed away from drugs and gangs, avoided unwanted pregnancies, worked hard…and all to just throw it all away for a man who looked good in a suit and could fuck like a stallion.

  I deserved this. All of this.

  After a few rough seconds, I picked up the phone and dialed HR’s extension. Marcy Lorrel picked up on the second ring. “Good Morning, this is Marcy.”

  “Good Morning, Marcy,” I greeted back. “This is Denise Hart. I…uhm, I was wondering if you have time to see me today?”

  Her silence spoke volumes. “I can see you immediately, Denise.”

  Chapter 16

  Aiden~

  I don’t know how Mason knew, but he did.

  I had received a text at six this morning telling me he heard that me and Denise had a fight in my office last night and he wanted to make sure I was okay.

  He didn’t text to yell or lecture me. He texted to see if I was okay. And then he texted asking if Denise was okay.

  I loved my brother.

  When I got to work, I had headed straight to his office, and that’s when he told me the rumor mill was based on a meeting that had been going on down the hallway and the attendees had seen Denise storm into my office and they could hear our raised voices.

  I had immediately wanted to reach out to her, but I thought it would make things look worse if I approached her personally after what was being said. So, instead, I sent her a text asking her if she was okay. She hasn’t responded.

  I was pacing my office when I heard the door open, and turning around, I expected to see Mason or Shane. Hell, even Denise. What I wasn’t expecting to see was my father.

  Motherfucker.

  Harold Buchanan waltzed right in and didn’t even work his way up to the reason he was in my office. “Aiden, what is this I hear about your involvement with an employee?”

  I had to admit I was rather shocked. It wasn’t even 9 am, and word had gotten around even to him?? My father wasn’t even an active partner in BI anymore. Mason was in control of everything and he let our father make appearances in the building to make Harold feel better about himself. Not that Mason cared about our father or his feelings, but ever since Mom came to our defense when that shit was going down with Shane, Mason tried his best to make life a little easier for her. And that meant keeping Harold busy and away from home.

  I stopped pacing and turned to face my father. “Not really caring what you’ve heard, Dad, but what I do personally or professionally is none of your concern,” I answered, coldly. Harold needed to remember we weren’t kids anymore. He was dealing with grown ass men now.

  He scoffed. “Of course, it’s my business,” he argued. “You’re a Buchanan. How do you think it’s going to look to have my son consorting with the employees?”

  I raised a brow. Consorting? Really? “Well, seeing as how I’m not consorting with employees, you have nothing to worry about,” I said, smoothly.

  Harold placed his hands on his hips and did his best to stare me down. Little did he know, that shit didn’t work anymore. He had no power over me, Mason, Michael, Gabriel, my mother or Buchanan Industries. “Aiden, you know damn well what I mean,” he snapped. “And if it wasn’t bad enough that you’re dipping your dick inside the goddamn help, you had to pick a girl who’s…”

  I prayed he wasn’t going to say what I think he’s going to say. “Who’s what?”

  He stepped towards me and seethed, “Who’s Black, goddamn it!”

  There was no hesitation in my swing.

  I didn’t give a fuck that he was my father. I didn’t give a fuck that I was at work. I didn’t give a fuck that I could be arrested. I didn’t give a fuck about anything other than this bastard disrespecting a woman; and my woman, at that.

  However, the thing was, Harold Buchanan wasn’t a pussy by any means, and just because Mason put him in his place, it didn’t mean he became a little bitch overnight.

  The motherfucker righted himself and swung back.

  It was on after that.

  The first blow connected, but I managed to duck the second one and my right fist came up into his kidney with an uppercut. My hit was gold, but his fist to my kidney hit its target, as well. I could hear shit crashing all around us, but I still wasn’t giving a fuck. Harold Buchanan should have been put down like a rabid dog years ago with his racist
, elitist, entitled beliefs.

  I don’t know how long we were trading punches before I finally got the upper hand and had my father pinned over my desk just punching the fuck out of him.

  It wasn’t until I heard Mason yelling my name and him stepping in between us that I pulled my fist back and stopped my attack. I wasn’t nearly done with the beating, but I wasn’t going to go up against Mason.

  He was standing in between me and Harold, arms out, separating us two. Mason completely ignored my father as he looked at me and hissed, “What the fuck is going on, Aiden?”

  I turned my head and spit out a wad of blood from my split lip before I answered him. “That motherfucker thought he could come into my office and ask me questions about Denise.”

  Mason turned to my father who was doing his best to wipe the blood off his face. Mason’s voice was like pointed icicles. “Where in the fuck did you get the idea you could come in here and question Aiden about any-fucking-thing?”

  I watched as Dad squared his shoulders. “Mason, he’s fucking around with employees,” he barked. “Even you can’t ignore that! It’s inappropriate and bad for business!”

  Mason stepped to our father. “If you have any concerns regarding my brother, then you bring them to me,” he seethed. “You are no longer head of this family, Dad. I am. And you would do well to remember that.”

  I watched out of breath, with my chest heaving, as he said the one thing I knew would seal his fate with the family. “But, Mason, goddamn it, do you know that the woman he’s fucking is Black?”

  Mason grabbed Harold by the lapels of his suit jacket and dragged him clean off the ground, slamming him down over my desk. “You no good, sorry sonofabitch,” Mason hissed in his face. “If I ever hear you speak about Denise like that again, I will fucking end you.” Mason shook him for emphasis. “And if I ever hear you speak like that about any of my employees, friends, colleagues, associates…the goddamn cashier at the corner coffee shop, I will ruin you and everything you pretend to be.”