Everlasting Light

by Shey Stahl

  “How come I never saw you? Who’d you hang out with?”

  “No one. I was a cheerleader for a little while, but it wasn’t exactly a good thing for a girl like me.”

  He shook his head slowly and chuckled under his breath. “I wouldn’t image so.” Then his face took on a more serious expression, his brow drawing together. “When did you first notice me?”

  I had to think back to that first initial Beau sighting, the one that drew me in and left me with this ten-year crush, even though I’d never actually spoken to him until two days ago.

  “Summer before my freshman year, I was fourteen, two days shy of fifteen. I was sitting on the front porch and you drove by in your truck and pulled into my neighbor’s driveway. I didn’t think much of it, but then you looked my way, smiled, and gave me a wink.” I hadn’t realized it, but my voice and my face had taken on an expression of a girl telling a fairy tale romance about Prince Charming.

  Well, it must have been entertaining to him because he laughed. I felt humiliated that I had just told him how it happened for me—just a damn wink and I was in love.

  But you had to remember I was a kid and at an age that when an older boy gave you a wink, we fell hopelessly in love with them

  I frowned. “Are you making fun of me?”

  He shook his head immediately, squeezing me to the side of his body. “Not at all.”

  “Well, it sure seems like it, you know, with the whole laughing thing. All right, so now I sound like a creep.”

  “No, I think it’s cute. You got a dreamy little look on your face when you were talking about me. It feels good to be the center of someone’s fantasy like that.”

  Shit, my face is burning. Hopefully it wasn’t red.

  “Well, you’ve been my dream guy ever since.”

  Keeping his eyes on the road, he kissed the top of my head. “I’m glad we didn’t meet back then…” My heart sank, and then he spoke again. “Because I probably would have been a jerk and never lived up to the image you had of me.”

  My heart was racing when I asked, “And now what?”

  “Now I can be your Prince Charming.” And then his body shook as he let out a laugh. “I got the charming part down. I just need to work on the prince part.”

  I laughed myself; he was so goofy. “Keep trying. You suck at it so far.”

  I wondered what this meant. Bentley said she had a crush on me in school, but did she actually know anything about me aside from the fact I was Beau Ryland?

  Did she know how lonely I was, despite being surrounded by people all the time?

  Bentley and I made our way back to the house where I parked in the field behind Miles’s house.

  I wasn’t sure what to say to Bentley this morning, or how to make her feel about what happened. Maybe I shouldn’t have had sex with her.

  Hell, I knew I probably shouldn’t have now that she said she knew me. How’d that make me look?

  At least she wasn’t a virgin. I would have felt even worse about it.

  But last night, it was…I didn’t even have words for what it felt like being with her. I’ve had one-night stands, been with women whose names I’d never remember, but there was something memorable about last night.

  Maybe it was the way she watched, like I was the wish in a dream, or the way she moved, responding to every single touch I gave her.

  We got out of the truck in silence, neither of us saying anything.

  Miles caught me in the kitchen as I set the beer cases on the counter and Bentley used the bathroom. “What’s going on with you and Legs?”

  I was tempted to leave on our way back from the store, only I’d take Bentley with me so she didn’t have to put up with this shit and these guys today.

  “Stop calling her that.”

  Because they’ll never be wrapped around you.

  “I’m sorry. It’s just, damn,” Miles watched her walk down the hall to the bathroom, “look at them.”

  Oh, I was, but he didn’t need to be. I began to walk away when he stopped me, tossing a roll of paper towels at the back of my head.

  “Hey, wait.” I turned, picking up the towels and chucking them back at him.

  “What?”

  “We’re gonna have a little fun on the boat tonight.”

  “Yeah, Wade said something about it earlier.”

  He cracked the top to a beer. “So you’ll play a little too.”

  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think the reason they have me around is to keep the party going.

  “I said I would.”

  He laughed, leaning casually into the counter after taking a drink of his beer. “Hey, I didn’t know. You seem like you’re distracted.”

  “I’m not distracted.”

  Yes, you are.

  “Yeah, okay.” He wasn’t buying it, but I also wasn’t very convincing when he saw me watching Bentley as some kid I didn’t know approached her. He looked young, barely eighteen, but he made her smile. Watching them, my gut felt strange. I definitely felt something for her and didn’t care for the idea of another guy going up to her.

  “Who’s that?” I gave a nod to the kid and Bentley, who was laughing at something he said, her cheeks flushing as she glanced down at her tank top under my flannel.

  That flush should have been for me only, because it was last night. A memory of me grasping her thigh, bringing it higher on my waist as I slid inside of her plagued my mind.

  “His name is Joel. Some kid we met last night. Came over from the neighbors and didn't leave.”

  I wanted to make him leave. Stupid kid. I was never one to get jealous. Never really did with Payton, but I suppose I had my moments as a hot-headed kid at times.

  Now was a bit different. I felt…possessive, I guess.

  The kid left and Bentley walked back over to me, barefoot and flushed.

  “Who’s he?” I gestured to the kid now watching Bentley standing next to me.

  Bentley gave me a curious expression, her cute nose scrunching. “His name is Joel.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Hmm, he says. What does that mean?”

  “It means…nothing.” Liar. Reaching down, I took her hand in mine. “Wanna go somewhere with me?”

  She looked at me, full of apprehension. “I just did.”

  “No, someplace else.”

  “Fine.” Bentley rolled her eyes. “If you must force me to hang out with you.”

  I had to chuckle at her. She had a sense of humor for sure.

  “HOW GOOD OF a swimmer are you?”

  She raised an eyebrow at me when we reached the top of the rock. I borrowed a Jet Ski from Miles and took her out to Acapulco Rock. “I’m okay, why?” She was panting, having climbed up forty some feet with me.

  I pointed to the water below us now. “Let’s jump.”

  “I’m not jumping off that cliff, Beau.”

  “C’mon, baby—” I gave her a wink watching her lips “—live a little.”

  “I’m afraid of heights.”

  “I doubt that.”

  Her eyes widened, taking a step back. “I am.”

  “I’ll hold your hand.”

  “I don’t think that will help.”

  She had an answer for everything. “You won’t know unless you try.”

  She knew I had a point and started to fidget. “What if my bikini falls off?”

  I waggled my eyebrows, reaching for her hand. “Lucky me.”

  Drawing in a heavy breath, she stared at the water.

  Seeing her tan skin and all the places I kissed last night had me thinking staying up here might be better, but something told me Bentley wasn’t a risk-taker.

  In fact, I doubted she had done much in her life, and certainly never jumped off a cliff into the water forty feet below. I first jumped off this when I was eight years old. Proudest day of my kid life back then.

  Taking a seat on the rock, she crept her toes along the edge and peered over again, her arms wrapped around her
stomach. “Beau, I can’t do it. I’m terrified of heights. When I was in the eighth grade, we went swimming and there was a cliff they wanted me to jump off. I got up there and couldn’t even look over the edge. Those assholes counted down and pushed me in!”

  I took a seat next to her, nothing but water, rocks, and trees surrounding us. The view from here was rustic and rough, like something you’d see at the Grand Canyon. The way the water shined bright off the red clay and rocks, I’d rather be up here than on a stage any day.

  “Sure you can,” I whispered, bumping her shoulder with mine. “And I won’t push you.”

  Taking a peek myself, it looked a lot higher than I remembered.

  “Wow, I don’t remember it being that high,” I teased, elbowing her. “I jumped off this cliff when I was eight, you can do it.”

  For a second, we looked at each other, sparks igniting inside me, and I wanted to know everything about her. Irises the color of night, there was something in their depth that wouldn’t let go of me, like heavy weights.

  “Come on, you gotta jump sometime.”

  Finally, after five minutes of me giving her a pep talk, telling her it was good for her soul to face fear like this, Bentley stood. “Hold my damn hand, Beau. If I die, I’m taking you with me.”

  I laughed. “Nice.”

  With one last look, we jumped, together.

  In the midst of the jump, I let go of her, not wanting to hurt her if we became entangled. It stung like hell when we landed, and I’d probably never do this again.

  The nearby swimmers and boaters cheered us on when we popped back up.

  Bentley let out a shriek, her face flushed and confused, and then she grinned, swimming toward me and the Jet Ski.

  “Holy shit!”

  I smiled, my thumb sweeping away the water on her freckled cheek. “I told you…I got you.”

  Maybe it was the intensity of jumping and her facing her fears, but with the way she was watching me, I had to kiss her.

  All I’d planned on doing was jumping with her.

  Instead, I was sure she made me fall.

  Just before I leaned in, she placed her hand on my chest. “Beau?”

  “Yeah?”

  “My bikini fell off.”

  She blinked, as if she was in shock. “I’m naked. It’s gone. Blaine’s gonna kill me. I lost her suit.”

  She wasn’t worried about being naked, which nearly made me laugh, but I didn’t want her naked. We were surrounded by boats; they’d see what was only meant for me.

  Diving under, I tried to see if I could spot it underwater, but saw nothing but us treading water.

  When I surfaced, she was watching me curiously. “Anything?”

  “No.” I shook water from my eyes. “Are the bottoms gone too?”

  She reached down. I should have offered to check. “No, got those. Just my top.” Slumping against the side of the Jet Ski, she made sure to keep her body below the water. “This weekend has sucked.”

  “How can you say that? You met me.”

  “Oh, sorry. But it’s been a disaster. I smashed my head and my body looks like I’ve been inside a dryer with rocks.” Her arm flung up in my face, smacking the side of my head. “Look at these bruises. And I met you, but now I gotta leave tomorrow.”

  “You don’t have to leave…you could come with me to Montgomery.”

  I threw it out there, hoping she’d take the bait, only I doubt she heard any of it with her rant.

  Not knowing what else to do, I swam over to a nearby boat. “Hey, my girl lost her top jumping.” And every girl on their boat was topless I might add. “Do you have a towel she can use?”

  Surprisingly, they did. “Damn.” The man who handed me the towel smiled over at Bentley. “I wouldn’t let her have the towel looking like that.”

  “Thanks for the towel.” Douchebag.

  Swimming back over to Bentley, I handed it to her. Silence settled between us as I kissed her once and then helped her up on the Jet Ski.

  “Are you glad you jumped?” I asked when she kept saying she couldn’t believe she did that, and that she lost her top.

  I turned to face her, my lashes sprinkled with drops of water from my hair.

  I crave you, baby, in an innocent, heart-pounding way.

  She looked at my lips and then my eyes, smiling. “I’ve never in my life felt more alive than I have this weekend.”

  “Me too.”

  “So what, like, your dad thinks you should work for him at the bar instead of pursuing your music?” I asked, waiting for Laney and Blaine to get their bathing suits on so we could go on the boat.

  Luckily, Blaine had another one I could borrow after losing hers.

  I felt exhilarated and on a total adrenaline rush since I jumped off that cliff, and I couldn’t stop talking. As usual.

  Beau laughed bitterly at the topic of his father¸ and I thought maybe I shouldn’t have asked that. Maybe it was too much. “Not just that. He thinks I should work for him, and forget about my dreams. My Grandpa handed it down to him, and he thinks my brother and I should want that too.”

  “So he doesn’t support your music then?” My legs dipped over the edge of the dock as I watched the ripples they created in the water, and then my attention was snagged by Gavin, Miles, and Wade loading beer onto the houseboat we would be taking out to the middle of the lake tonight. “Would you want to work with him?”

  I was nervous about what tonight would mean. Or what might happen. For that reason, I was babbling about nothing, about anything I could think of. Would he want to have sex again?

  I was leaving tomorrow morning, what would happen?

  Beau was silent for a moment before he said, “Working in a bar, that’s not me. Just because it’s his business, his dream, doesn’t mean it’s mine. I have my own life, which doesn’t revolve around him and that stupid bar. It’s just a status for him. I don’t even think he likes owning his own business, just that he does and he can call himself the owner.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “My music.” He shrugged, trying to blow off the conversation.

  “You’re really good.”

  His head dropped forward, his hands tugging at his hair. “It doesn’t matter if I’m good or not, Bentley.” I wanted to grab his hands and wrap them around me, and make him believe he could have anything he ever wanted despite what his dad wanted for him. “But I don’t know if that’s ever going to work out.”

  “You’re on a tour right now. Why would you say that?”

  “It’s not my tour. I’m opening for Sam Shaver.” Beau reached down to chip at the worn wood of the dock. “It has nothing to do with me thinking I’m not good enough. It’s me facing reality. Sure I could probably continue to do what I’m doing, but getting noticed by a record producer doesn’t just happen like everyone thinks.”

  I gave him a sour look, my brows scrunched together. “You’re right, and you won’t sayin’ crap like that. You’re just setting yourself up for failure if you have a shit attitude like that.”

  Beau laughed, raising his eyebrow at me. “Yeah, okay.”

  He was bitter when it came to his dad, I was gathering that much. In a sense, I could relate to that. My dad left without so much as a goodbye when I was a teenager. Not that he was present in my life much before that, but it still hurt.

  We stood, ready to head for the boat, tired of waiting on the girls, when Miles’ black lab came loping down the dock and lunged into the water after a snake. I jumped back when I saw it, squealing.

  “That fucking dog hates me,” Beau mused, watching Buddy eye us with the snake in his mouth. “I don’t know why they call him Buddy either. He’s nobody’s buddy. I hope that snake bites him, too.”

  “He’s not that bad.” I laughed, backing up and wanting nothing to do with the damn snake.

  “Wait until he bites your ass, you won’t be calling him Buddy anymore.”

  “With everything that’s happened to me thi
s weekend, I’m surprised that dog hasn’t bitten me.”

  Beau winked. “The nights still early. I might bite you.”

  “C’mon guys!” Miles waved to us from the deck of the boat. Somehow, and I don’t know how, but the girls were already on the boat. We must have missed them. “We’re ready.”

  I guess I was so caught up in Beau talking, I hadn’t realized the girls walked right by us.

  With a sigh, Beau stood. “Let’s go, pretty girl. Time to party.”

  “Man, how many toys does his family have? Do his parents know he has parties like this?”

  He helped me up, probably so I didn’t fall. “He has a boat, that houseboat monstrosity, Jet Skis, and a few quads. His parents are loaded. They own a couple restaurants.”

  “I see.”

  “They spend the summer in the Bahamas, or someplace like that, and don’t give a shit what he does.”

  When we reached the boat, I took in the vast size of it and all his friends. “So we’re going on this thing for the night?”

  Beau wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “Yep. Sleepin’ on a boat tonight.”

  “Only sleeping?” My face burned, remembering vivid and amazing details.

  Taking in everything, I wasn’t sure what they had planned, just that we had sleeping bags and enough alcohol for a frat party.

  Beau groaned, twisting his head to bury it in the crook of my neck as he took a closer. “Not if I’m lucky.”

  “I think you’ve already gotten lucky this weekend, buddy.”

  “Baby,” he pulled back, kissing my cheek once, “you have no idea.”

  He was right, I really didn’t have any idea.

  I had an idea of what he was doing to me, but he hadn’t said much about what he felt for me.

  We were on the houseboat with around fifteen others, Payton being one of them. I wasn’t exactly thrilled because of the close quarters, and I couldn’t exactly jump off the side of the boat. I was done with jumping into water all together after the cliff and the missing top.

  The boat was nice, much like everything Miles had. It was even equipped with an upper deck where you could sunbathe, or as Beau said, watch the stars. Apparently, we were sleeping up there tonight.