“The airline shows she changed her flight and checked in for the flight to Miami tonight. I’m so sorry, Mr. Steele. The officials are still at the scene, but the damage was far too extensive for any survivors. All three hundred thirty seven passengers, plus the crew, are presumed dead,” she replied. “You were listed as her emergency contact on her airline profile. I’m very sorry, Mr. Steele.”
Noah dropped the phone and stared at it like it had bitten him. The rapid rise and fall of his chest mirrored his fast breathing. His heart pounded in his chest, beating fiercely against his ribcage. The blood surged through his veins, swishing through his ears and drowning out any other sound.
His knees simultaneously buckled as his guttural cry echoed throughout his enormous home. “No!” He bent at the waist and let his forehead drop to the floor as his fists pounded it relentlessly. He chanted a mixture of painful pleas and sobs over and over. “Please, God, no. Don’t take her from me. Bring her back home to me.”
“Brianna,” he whispered as tears continued to stream down his face. “I don’t want to do this without you. I love you, baby. So fucking much.”
He fell over to lie on his side and remained on the floor in shock. The ominous feeling he had before she left for this trip just made it harder for him to accept. He’d been warned and he let her go alone anyway. There was nothing he wouldn’t give just to hear from her again.
“The voicemail,” he said aloud. “Maybe there’s another explanation. Please, God, let there be another explanation.”
He scrambled to his phone and played the voicemail on his speaker. When her sweet voice spoke to him, the tears and heartache returned full force,
“I love you more than anything or anyone in the world. It was stupid of me to come here without you and I’m truly sorry about that. I wish you were here with me. I’m sorry I’ve acted so weird the last few weeks. I’ll tell you everything that I’ve found while investigating this story. I know I should’ve told you before I left, but I literally just realized how stupid I am while standing in this airport.
“I’m going to see this through and then I’m coming home to you. I love you, Noah.”
He rewound the message and played it repeatedly for an hour.
I’m coming home to you.
I’m coming home to you.
I’m coming home to you.
“Come home to me, Brianna! Come home to me now!” he shouted.
How do I let go of the one person I love more than life itself?
How do I carry on, like I give a fuck about anything else?
How do I get past this pain that’s worse than a white-hot knife cutting my heart out of my chest?
The questions and doubts assaulted Noah’s thoughts and bombarded him with more pain than he ever thought a man could survive. If she were really dead, if he would never really hold her in his arms again, all he wanted to do was join her. His life, his business, and his will to live had been tied up in his love for her.
He’d become one of those weak men he pitied. The ones who shriveled up and lost their will to live when their woman left them. The ones he’d previously judged and found them severely lacking in balls and testosterone. Now he fully understood what they’d experienced and what brought them to their knees.
The kind of love he had with Brianna was a once in a lifetime type of love. Any other person, any other feeling, would woefully fail in comparison to Brianna. He sat up, his back against the wall and his head in his hands, and tried to will his body to give up. He tried to will his mind to let go. He just wanted to slip into oblivion and be happy again, because he couldn’t imagine happiness ever returning to him in a world where Brianna wouldn’t ever return to him.
Rebel and Bull were suddenly at his side, asking questions and demanding answers he couldn’t give voice to. He couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud and make them come true.
“Reaper, what’s wrong with you? What happened?” Rebel asked.
“Come on, man. Help us out here. What’s going on?” Bull added.
For a moment, Noah irrationally considered if he didn’t say it, if he believed with everything he was that she wasn’t really dead, she’d come back to him. But, he’d seen too much death to really believe that. He was grasping at any shred of hope he could find, but there was none there.
“Brianna’s plane crashed. She’s dead,” he finally replied. He hung his head, his chin to his chest, and the sobs racked his body again. “She’s gone. She’s never coming back.”
The finality of his words hit Bull like a sledgehammer to the chest. He fell to his knees beside Noah, panting heavily, and fighting the tears that filled his eyes. “What?” he whispered, praying he’d somehow heard wrong.
Rebel sat down hard beside Noah, his back also against the wall as he stared blankly at the other wall. Tears slid down his face as he slowly shook his head from side to side. “No. That can’t be right. They’re wrong.”
“I wish they were. They have her checked in for the flight. All three hundred plus passengers are dead. No survivors,” Noah replied glumly. “I don’t know what to do. What am I supposed to do?”
Neither answered his rhetorical question because they didn’t have an answer. For the first time since they could remember being a team, they didn’t have a plan of action. They didn’t have a Plan B in case something went wrong. There was no failsafe. Their tightrope didn’t have a net to catch them and they were all free falling, hurling toward the ground together.
A crash and burn was imminent and unavoidable. The casualties would be great. The devastation would be complete. But the worst was still yet to come.
“Reaper, I’m sorry to bring this up now. But, has anyone called her family?” Rebel asked, fruitlessly wiping his tears.
“Fuck,” he replied. “I don’t know. I haven’t even thought of that. I haven’t thought of anything else.”
“They need to be called, Reap. They deserve to know, too,” Rebel added. “They love her and they love you.”
Noah nodded but simply stared at his phone. “How do I tell them that-.” His voice broke and it took all the strength he could muster to swallow the sob that clogged his throat. “How am I supposed to tell them that their daughter is dead? That I didn’t protect her? They’ll hate me and I deserve it.”
“They won’t hate you and you don’t deserve it. Give them more credit than that,” Rebel urged. “As much as it hurts, they know Brianna is a grown woman and makes her own decisions.”
Noah nodded and picked up his phone. He reluctantly dialed Evan’s number as he prepared to hear her parents endure the barrage of emotions he was still battling through himself. When Evan answered the phone, Noah cringed at his jovial voice.
“Good morning, Noah,” Evan answered. “Diana and I were just talking about you. We’d love to see our kids again soon. How are you?”
Evan and Diana had visited Miami for a long weekend and Noah insisted they stay at his house. Their time together that weekend was a mixture of work and business since the Tate family owned a chain of luxury hotels. Evan considered an expansion and had appointments to look at properties in the South Miami Beach area.
Evan and Diana adopted Noah as their own son that weekend. Brianna’s weekly calls to her parents lengthened since they also expected an update from their new son. Being estranged from his family had been difficult for Noah in so many ways. He missed his parents and his siblings, but the nature of their relationship couldn’t be helped. When Evan and Diana welcomed him into their lives with open arms, showed him the parental love he’d missed, and loved him for who he was, he believed he could finally be part of a family.
For the first time, he also looked forward to having a family of his own. With Brianna. Now he had to tell her parents that one of their worst nightmares had come true.
“Evan, I really wish you and Diana were here. There’s something I have to tell you,” Noah began.
“What’s wrong, son?” Evan asked, dread filling his voice.
>
“It’s Brianna.” Noah coughed, masking his sob. “Her plane…there were no survivors. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to save her.”
Silence filled the line and Noah pictured Evan trying to assimilate the bombshell that had just been dropped on him. He understood how Evan felt since he was utterly devastated by the news.
“What? I don’t understand. Where? When?” Evan stammered.
“She was in Turkey, following up on a lead for a big story,” Noah explained. “She was supposed to fly home tomorrow, but the Embassy called and said she changed her flight to come home early. They didn’t have very many details.”
Evan’s sobs tore through his body, filtered through the phone, and poured into Noah’s broken heart. “Was it the same accident that’s been on the news?”
“I don’t know, Evan,” Noah replied, wiping his face again. “I haven’t had the TV on at all.”
“Noah, I have to go tell Diana,” Evan stated solemnly. “Then I’ll have the pilot ready the jet and we can make the arrangements together. If you don’t mind, I’m sure Diana would agree that we’d prefer to stay with you.”
“Of course. Of course you can stay with me,” Noah replied. “As long as you want.”
“We’ll see you soon, son. We love you.”
“Love you both,” Noah responded. “I’m so sorry, Evan.”
“Brianna loved you more than anything, Noah. She told me all the time how wonderful you were to her. You have nothing to be sorry for, son,” Evan assured him. “That was not your fault or even in your control.”
When he disconnected the call, Noah stumbled downstairs to the den, with Bull and Rebel close on his heels, to turn on the TV. He flipped the channel to the news and saw the footage being replayed on a loop in the small picture window beside the anchorman’s head.
“In case you’re just tuning in, the top story of the day is the apparent plane explosion immediately after takeoff from an airport in Turkey. From the footage shot by onlookers with their cellphones, it’s clear that no one could have survived that blast.
“Relatively small pieces of the plane have been found up to one hundred miles from the point of the explosion. No one has claimed responsibility for this act. At this time, it’s unknown if there was some sort of issue with the plane itself or if this was the work of a terrorist group. We’ll update you as soon as we know more.”
Noah, Rebel, and Bull silently watched the scene repeatedly play on the flat screen until Rebel took the remote and turned it off. Noah didn’t even notice it was no longer playing. The images were burned into his mind and now he’d relive them every day of his life. He watched Brianna’s last few minutes of life, he questioned if she had any idea of what happened, and the knowledge that he’d never see her again had killed his newfound zest for life.
“What did Evan say?” Bull asked.
Noah gave them a recap of the conversation. “He said it wasn’t my fault,” Noah added thoughtfully. “Evan doesn’t blame me.”
“They’re good people, Reap. None of Bri’s family will blame you. They know you love her more than anything. Hell, you hunted her down after only knowing her for six weeks. There’s no doubt you’re crazy about her,” Bull replied.
Several hours later, Noah still sat in the same spot where he watched the raw footage of the exploding plane. He vacillated between extreme pain, complete numbness, and bitter anger as he attempted to deal with the affects of his loss. Bull and Rebel left earlier after Noah insisted he wanted to be alone.
The chimes of the doorbell evoked little more than a head turn in the general direction of the front door. After about a minute, someone pounded on the door, then a voice called his name. He immediately recognized the voice, sprang from the couch, and sprinted toward the front door.
13
Chapter Thirteen
When he jerked it open, he found Evan, Diana, Missy, Jessie, and Ashley at his doorstep. All of their eyes were swollen and bloodshot red, but they were also clearly grateful to see him. The family surrounded him as arms wrapped wherever they could latch onto someone else. Sniffles, loud sobs, and muffled cries filled the entryway.
Evan was the first to release his hold on Noah, causing a chain reaction from all the women. As each person wiped their eyes, Noah took in his new family. Through better or worse, the special bond would remain between them.
“Come in,” Noah spoke. “My home is your home.”
“How are you holding up, son?” Diana asked, as she sniffled and wiped her eyes.
“Me?” Noah asked incredulously. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m not really,” she replied honestly. “But I worry about all of my kids, Noah. Now answer me.”
He drew her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “I’m not holding up, either,” he whispered. “I want to wake up from this horrible dream and have her here with me.”
“So do I, Noah,” Diana cried into his shirt. “So very much.”
When everyone regrouped after putting their luggage in their temporary bedrooms, Evan raised the question that haunted everyone’s mind.
“I don’t know how to handle this,” he started. “This isn’t something I’ve ever really prepared for. On one hand, I feel like I’m giving up all hope by saying this. On the other, I feel like I’m honoring my daughter by saying it. I can’t win.”
Evan dragged his hand over his face, scraping against the stubble that grew throughout the course of the day. He looked tired and drained of all emotion, but Noah knew it simmered just under the surface. The right or wrong word would set it off again. He knew, because that’s how he felt, too.
“There is no right or wrong thing in this situation Daddy,” Missy soothed. “We’ve never been in this spot before and we’ll always second-guess everything we do. But I know you, and I know whatever it is, you’re doing it with the best of intentions.”
“Thank you, baby girl,” Evan replied as his eyes misted. “I’d like to have a funeral for Brianna. From the news report, there’s no chance that anyone survived. To honor her, to celebrate her life, and to give the family the closure we need, I think we should go forward with the funeral.”
Diana’s tears streamed over her cheeks, like small rivers with no end. She nodded her agreement, but she was unable to verbalize anything. Evan looked at his other daughters, his eyes questioned them, and they each nodded their agreement.
“Noah,” Evan turned to face his son. “I know the bond between a man and the love of his life. Just as I know the bond between a father and his daughter. This is your decision, too. You’re every bit a part of this family as much as Brianna is.”
Noah lifted his eyes to meet Evan’s. The bond between the two men was now sealed in death, the death of one they both loved. “You don’t know how much that means to me. How much all of you mean to me,” he continued, as he looked at each face.
“This is the worst thing I’ve ever been through. I think the funeral will be even worse, but paying our respects for her will help us to start to heal. Just one day of living in limbo has been hell,” he replied. He wanted to console the others, make them believe that healing was possible, but he didn’t believe one word of it. Inside, he knew he’d never recover from this blow.
“We all agree then?” Evan asked.
Everyone replied with a low, mumbled ‘yes,’ and Evan stood. “We can make the decisions of how and where tomorrow. There’s no reason to rush. For the rest of today and tonight, I think we need time together just to remember her, share stories, and try to help each other with the grief.”
“It just doesn’t feel real. None of this feels real. I’d swear I was in a dream,” Missy said aloud.
“I agree,” Jessie chimed in. “I expect her to text me any second now to ask about my day.”
“Has anyone tried calling her cell?” Ashley asked.
“Yes,” Noah replied. “I have. Repeatedly. It goes straight to voicemail.”
A quick rap on
the door drew Noah’s attention just as it opened. Rebel and Bull walked in, their demeanor matched the somber mood inside. Their long, sad faces and red-rimmed eyes showed Brianna’s brothers had struggled with the news on their own as long as they could stand.
“Bull came over to my place,” Rebel started. “Neither of us knows what to do. I can’t think straight for shit. All I know is we need to be here.”
“She’s our little sister,” Bull added. “We love her, too.”
“I know you do. She loves you both, too,” Noah replied. “You’re always welcome here. We were just discussing our next steps. Have a seat, guys.”
“She does love you both,” Missy replied. “She talks about all her ‘Steele men’ all the time.”
Bull fought back the unexpected emotions that rose inside him. His sense of duty and honor were the attributes that defined him, and he’d failed her. He promised to protect her and in his mind, he’d failed.
Rebel gave Missy a small smile as he pictured Brianna sharing her pet name for them, but it quickly disappeared when the vise squeezed his heart again. The beautiful, petite blonde who’d worked her way into their close-knit group, into their lives, and into their hearts would never come home again.
“What next steps?” Rebel asked Noah as he sat and attempted to rein his feelings back in.
Noah swallowed the heart-sized lump in his throat before answering. “Brianna’s funeral. Her memorial service.”
“Already?” Bull blurted out before he even realized he’d said it. “Sorry, I just hoped we’d get better news, someone made a mistake, that she’s okay. It just feels too soon.”
“We understand, Bull,” Evan assured him. “Diana and I have talked about this since the minute Noah called. I’ve done everything I know to do. We called the Embassy, I called in favors from friends, and they called in favors from other friends.
“Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but a friend checked her passport, her credit cards, and her cellphone. None have been used anywhere since the explosion. He’s still monitoring them, but since I haven’t heard from him, I know he hasn’t found anything,” Evan explained sadly.
Wicked Games: The Extended Edition (Steele Security #1) Page 14
