by Vi Carter
Candy drives me back.
“I can’t thank you enough for today. I don’t think I could have gotten through it so easily without you,” I say as we pull into my estate.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Candy offers and I reach across and squeeze her hand.
“No but thanks. I think I’ll get some sleep.”
Candy stops the car and she’s staring at my house. “Gerald’s car.”
I look out the window to see a brand new Audi parked in front of my house. “That’s Gerald’s car?” I ask as my stomach squeezes. “But it’s daylight,” I say.
Candy laughs. “Yeah, cause it's daytime.”
I let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah. I’m just tired. I better go in.”
“Okay. If you need me, just ring.”
“Thanks, Candy.” She had put her number into my phone at the hotel. I close the car door and stare up at my house. Gerald is in there somewhere and I am going to see his face.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
HIM
(12 HOURS BEFORE)
After leaving Cara’s house, I pull up to the castle. Light shines from random windows. I don’t want to go in. I want to go back to Cara, but her questions are too much right now. I consider going to the club, but that’s just another mess. Parking the car I make my way to my private quarters. I know someone is here the minute I step in. I can smell perfume and alcohol. Only one person would be brazen enough to be in my home.
“I thought I told you to leave.” I flick on the lights and she’s sitting on my couch.
“You were with her,” her slurred words sober up some of my rage.
“That’s none of your business. You need to leave now, Linda.” For old time’s sake, I will keep my cool.
“But I am home.” She stands up, the bottle of brandy nearly three quarters gone. “This is where I live.”
I exhale loudly before walking to her. “Give me the bottle.”
She holds it behind her back. “No.”
She leans in and tries to kiss me. I easily sidestep and take the bottle. “You’re a mess,” I say as I walk to the sink and pour the contents of the bottle down it.
“You made me like this.”
My anger shatters and I throw the bottle into the sink. “This.” I turn to her. “I didn’t make this weak, babbling woman.”
Linda stands taller and tries to stop the tremble of her lip by biting it. “I love you, Gerald.” She wipes tears from her cheeks. “I think I always have.”
“You have no idea of what love is,” I say.
“And you do?” Her anger returns.
“No. I think we are pretty damaged,” I answer honestly.
She smiles and takes a few wobbly steps towards me. “Exactly.” She sniffles. “So we get each other. We are made for each other.” Her hands touch my shoulders and I gently remove them.
She sobs at my touch. “We are bad for each other. You can start a life anywhere, Linda. I’ll give you whatever you want.”
Her eyes flicker to me. “I want you.”
Shaking my head, I release her hands. “I don’t want you.”
Her hand connects with my face and I allow it. “You did this to me,” her roar is accompanied by another slap that I allow.
She tries to strike me again, but I grab her hand. “That’s enough.”
She pulls her hands out of mine. “I’ve been living here, so I’ve nowhere to go.”
“You should have told me. You can’t just move into my home.”
She laughs as she stumbles back to the couch. “But I did. Gerald.” She sings my name at the end. When she reaches the couch, she lies down.
“I’m sorry for ringing the Gardaí. That was in bad taste.”
I grin. Bad Taste. She could have had me arrested.
“Just get some sleep.” She would have to leave tomorrow. Her being here isn’t good for either of us anymore.
“Don’t leave me.” Her words are low and mumbled as she starts to drift off to sleep. I pick up my suit jacket and put it on over my t-shirt.
Taking the blanket off the back of the couch, I cover her with it and leave. The club is alive and full. For the first time in a long time, I don’t lurk along with the shadows but step out into the middle of the floor. Once, everyone looked at me with fear now they saw me differently since they all found out I owned the place. I hated it. I had never created this for money. I had done it to destroy this place. To taint it but it was popular, and it just kind of grew into this all by itself. Linda proved to be a fantastic leader, so one night she said it was hers and I allowed it to stick. I didn’t mind taking a back seat in all this. After a while, the money was the driving force, but it had started off with bad intentions.
“I’m glad to see you didn’t get arrested.” Jake slaps me on the shoulder. He’s the only person who’s looking at me the way he always has. “I need a drink.”
I had no idea why he was here. He had brought me so much trouble, but right now a drink didn’t sound bad. Simon places a bottle of brandy on the counter and a glass. “One more glass,” I say to Simon as Jake drags a stool beside me.
“Seen Linda earlier.”
I pour out our two drinks. “Yeah?” I say sliding him a glass. I look at him now.
“She’s in a really bad place, man.” He sounds concerned.
“Maybe she could stay with you for a while,” I suggest.
“Nah, she hates my guts.”
I click my glass against his. “That makes two of us.”
He laughs. “She’s in love with you man.”
I drink down my brandy and refill my glass.
“Rough night?” Jake’s looking at me now like he’s only just now seeing me.
“Yeah, something like that.”
“How’s Cara?” Simon’s been wiping the same spot since I sat down. I was aware that he’s been watching me, waiting for an opening to speak.
“Great,” I answer, not liking his interest in Cara.
“Who’s Cara?” Jake grins.
“A dancer,” I say while still looking at Simon who hasn’t returned to his work. “I don’t pay you to stand around.” He takes his cloth down the other end of the counter.
Jake sniggers. “You put him in his place.”
Irritation circles under my skin. “I can’t seem to put you in yours, Jake.”
His smile dissolves. “I’m not a staff member, Gerald.” His words are biting.
“If you were, I’d fire you.” I finish off my brandy. I hadn’t come here to chat. I had wanted a drink. “I’ve got to go,” I tell Jake and he grabs the bottle of brandy and pours himself a glass.
I return to the castle and get a fresh bottle of brandy. I drink it as I walk through the hallways. A party is alive on the top floor, but I’ve no interest. Taking the elevator, I make my way to the gallery. The doors open with a ding and I step out and take a long swallow of brandy. The painting of my grandfather mocks me. He won. He always said I was a fuck up. He’s right. Everything around me is falling apart. The only way I could get someone to like me was to lock them in a room. I take another large swallow before I peg the bottle at the painting.
“It was me. Anything that you couldn’t find. I’d taken.” I grin up at the painting. “Your glasses, your favorite cane, I broke that and threw it in the river. I took your money. I took your home.” My voice rises as I advance on him. “I took your life old man.” His face smiles down at me.
“You think you won?” I laugh and reach for the picture. It wobbles on the wall. “We’ll see who’s laughing now.” The frame cracks as it hits the marble floor. A light flickers on the wall where the painting once hung. I drag my grandfather’s sorry ass outside, checking my pockets I take out the lighter. His lighter, his initials. “Smile at this,” I say before dropping it. The painting instantly goes up in flames, and I laugh as I watch his face melt. “Oh Yeah!”
I’m aware of the alarm going off and the blue lights that are flashing in the distan
ce, they are getting closer to me as the Gardaí cars come over the hill. I laugh as they approach.
“No need to worry. Nothing has been robbed.”
My hands are pulled behind my back. “What are you doing?”
“You’re under arrest.”
I yank my arms and smile when I come face to face with Gardaí Manning.
“I’m starting to think you have a thing for me.” I grin.
“Put out the fire,” he calls to one of his officers.
“That’s my fucking painting. You will let it burn. Touch it and you die.”
The officer pauses and I grin at Manning, who walks away from me and takes the fire extinguisher from the officer. He extinguishes the fire.
“Put him in the car.”
“This is my property,” I remind them all.
“Drunk and disorderly. That’s what I can and will charge you with.”
I’m placed in the back of the Gardaí car and taken away from the house. But I feel good.
***
The cell I am placed in is empty and I lie down on the hard bench. “Is there anyone you want to ring?” Gardaí Manning asks through the bars.
I think of Cara. “No. I’m good here.”
“Suit yourself.”
He leaves me alone and all I want to do is sleep. And surprisingly I do for the first time in a long time. I sleep like a baby. When I wake up, my body aches from the hard bench.
Manning is standing at the bars drinking a cup of coffee. “Don’t you ever go home?” I ask him as I widen my eyes and stretch.
“You want to make a phone call now?”
“Yeah, I do.” I was ready to go home now. The sleep did me good.
“When I’ve finished my coffee.” Manning takes his sweet time. An hour passes and he’s at his desk, the mug has to be empty at this stage. Cara’s father was being cremated this morning, I had informed Candy to be with her. But I also wanted to be there. Now it looked like that wouldn’t happen.
“Any chance of making that phone call?” I ask as nicely as I can.
“Are you still here?” He stands up from his desk and smirks. He slips the key into the lock and lets me out.
“You can use the phone on my desk.”
So he can trace the call. There is really only one person I can ring.
“Gerald,” Linda sounds really rough.
“I’m at Slane Gardaí station I need you to bail me out.”
“Yeah, of course. I’ll be there soon.”
Manning is staring at me and I don’t look away from him. Placing the receiver of the phone down, I sit in the chair that’s in front of his desk.
“Who was that you called?” He is testing me.
“Linda, a very close friend.”
“Girlfriend?”
“Just a friend.”
He doesn’t ask any more questions and Linda arrives. She looks like shit. The large black sunglasses that she slips onto her face doesn’t hide the after effects of last night. My own eyes hurt as I step out into the light.
We don’t speak as we walk to her car. She starts the engine and pulls out from the curb. I know she’s going to start and my head can’t take it.
“Let’s forget about last night,” I say.
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
I stare out the window thinking of Cara. She would be at her dad’s funeral now. I hope she’s okay.
“You still need to leave,” I say to the window.
“Yeah. I know and I will.”
I glance at Linda. I can’t see her face, but I’m grateful she isn’t making this hard.
“I had the mess taken care of this morning.” She speaks but still doesn’t look at me.
“Thank you.”
We pull into the long driveway that leads up to the castle. “You could stay with Jake for a while until you get sorted.”
Linda glances at me. “Not happening.”
I grin. I don’t blame her. “Whatever money you need just let me know.”
We pull up to the castle and Linda doesn’t go any further. “I’m not going in, but this is goodbye for now.”
My stomach tightens. She is all I have known for so long. Everything has changed so much. I know it is time we moved on, but letting go isn’t easy. “You’ll stay in touch?” I ask her and she lifts off her glasses.
“Yeah. I’m sorry for everything.” She reaches across and hugs me. I hug her back. “I’m going to miss you.” She admits. “Now get out.”
I grin at her, but I can see her pain as I get out of her car and close the door. She puts the glasses back on and drives off.
***
Once I shower, I make the decision that I need to see Cara and try this relationship thing. I’m nervous, which isn’t something that happens to me often. The last time I was this nervous was when the coroner was determining my Grandfathers cause of death. I remember waiting for the news, waiting for sirens, but instead, they had said it was just natural causes.
I stare at myself in the mirror. The black shirt and slacks make me look like I’m going to a funeral. Taking out a dark blue jumper, I place it over the shirt before getting my car keys and phone. I am going to go to her house and finally let her see me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
HER
The key doesn’t go into the lock on the first try. I need to control the tremble in my hand. I had told him last night it didn’t matter what he looked like, so I needed to try to relax. I exhale and get it right this time. Pushing open the door, I step into the hall and enter the kitchen. I’m smiling as my heart kicks up a beat. The fact he is willing to show me his face is what is making me so nervous. He wants me to see him. No one is in the kitchen. I check the sitting room, but it’s empty too. I’m giddy with each step I take.
“Gerald?” I call as my stomach trembles.
“Yes.”
I pause on the stairs as he answers me. Jesus, he is really here. I continue climbing the stairs.
“You know it’s bright outside?” I’m trying to calm my pounding heart as I reach the landing.
“I know.”
My bedroom door is half closed.
“I’m nervous,” I say, staring at the wooden door.
“Me too.”
His answer has me biting my lip. “I buried my dad today,” I say while placing my hand on the door.
“I’m sorry, Cara. I wanted to be there for you.”
I nod to the wooden door. “I felt like some kind of monster. I cried, but not for him. I cried for me.”
“That doesn’t make you a monster. It makes him one.”
My head snaps up at his answer. “You do know that you shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.”
“You’re stalling, Cara.”
I give a nervous laugh. I am. This is so much easier just talking through the door.
“Okay.”
I push the door open and step into my bedroom that once was small but now is tiny. Gerald takes up too much of my room. My heart stills before it gallops and I’m smiling at him. Sweat dampens my hands.
“Hi.” I’m taking him all in, but trying to do it slowly. He’s gorgeous, and he’s making me nervous with how he’s staring at me.
He gets up off my bed and I step back, hitting the wall. He’s too much. Blue eyes consume me.
“Hi.” His tone is low.
I swallow. He’s perfect. “Why? Why couldn’t I see you before?”
His thick dark hair has a slight wave in it, it’s the first time I’ve noticed it.
“It was easier for me to come to you and not have you see me.” He takes another step closer to me.
I reach up and touch his face. “I would have been more obedient if I’d seen your face,” I say.
His laughter has my stomach erupting with butterflies. It’s a beautiful sound. His hand touches my face and I close my eyes and lean into the warmth of his flesh. He allows me to soak up his warmth, his smell. Turning my head into his hand, I plant a kiss on his open pal
m, before opening my eyes and looking at him from under my lashes. My heart jumps.
“You’re beautiful, Gerald,” I say.
A muscle twitches in his jaw. “There is so much about me you don’t know.” His eyes search my face. I think he’s waiting for me to run.
“I know. There’s a lot about me you don’t know.”
He grins and a smile spreads across my face.
“That’s why I’m here. I want us to get to know each other. But, it’s not going to be easy, Cara.”
His eyes have darkened and I already know that Gerald will be complicated. But I kind of like that about him.
“You won’t like everything you hear about me. Some things I can’t change.” His brows pull down as he speaks and his eyes darken further.
I place another kiss on his palm and his attention returns to me. I smile at him and his eyes lighten. “That’s okay, Gerald. We can navigate our way through this.”
I want to kiss him so badly, I want to have him inside me. I want all of him. The good, the bad, the dark, and the light. It didn’t matter to me. I wanted this man.
His other hand slides into my hair as he tilts my head, his eyes dart to my lips. “There’s no going back now, Cara. Are you sure about this?”
His promise terrifies me, it sounds so definite. “Yes,” I answer while standing up on the tip of my toes and pressing my lips against his. My hands find their way into his thick hair as I push my tongue into his warm mouth. I groan into his mouth. His fingers graze the side of my breasts and it’s an instant reaction, my body tightens and a shiver assaults me.
Gerald’s fingers touch the zipper and he drags it down slowly, his thumb dragging along after the zipper sending electricity through me. Wetness pools between my legs and I push my body harder against his. I can feel his excitement through his trousers.
