My Perfect Drug (Reapers MC: Ellsberg Chapter Book 2)

by Bijou Hunter

  But Cooper isn’t a monster, no matter what Topher claims. He doesn’t like me, and he wouldn’t like any man sniffing around his daughter—let alone for years. That’s true, but his biggest gripe is that his baby girl—his good daughter—didn’t trust him enough to tell him the truth.

  Topher always mocked Johansson men for being soft when it came to their women and children. Now I realize that softness isn’t really a choice. Cooper didn’t necessarily choose to get wrapped around the fingers of his kids and wife. He probably hoped to keep his backbone intact when he got married, but love turns some people into pussies. I ought to know since a single disappointed look from Lily can cut off my balls while a smile from her can make me feel powerful enough to forget I’m a Mullen.

  THE PRINCESS

  More than once, I consider sneaking away from the house so I can get to Dash at the hospital. Tucker’s arrival dampens my hope of success. He also says Pop is with Dash, meaning I would sneak my way into facing my father when I doubt either of us is in the mood for a conversation.

  Sissy, Haydee, and Hart sleep in MJ’s old bedroom while she goes to her trailer once Quaid returns home. I remain up until nearly midnight, and Mom never leaves my side. I only go to bed when her yawning makes me feel guilty.

  I’m able to sleep once I focus on the baby growing inside me. I go as far as to play audio on my phone of a fetal heartbeat and imagining it belongs to my son or daughter. In the dark room, with the rhythmic sound, I relax into six-hours of rest. The sun hasn’t risen yet when I awake, so I remain in bed and think about Dash living at my place. One day, our house will be filled with kid stuff, but I want him to put his touch on it too.

  Giving up on rest, I plan to quickly eat and head to the hospital. Until I see Dash with my own eyes, I won’t be able to truly settle down.

  Downstairs, I spot Tucker on the back porch. When he sees me, my uncle leaves the cold morning to get himself fresh coffee.

  “I don’t see why you couldn't find a better man to make a baby with,” he says while I make toast.

  “Why did you pick Aunt Maddy?”

  “She was something special, and I knew better than to let her go.”

  “That’s how I feel about Dash.”

  “But he’s a Mullen, and there’s nothing special about them.”

  Exhaling uneasily, I feel my temper rising. “Uncle Tucker, I don’t want to argue with you, so shut up.”

  “Watch your mouth, Lily Johansson.”

  “As your own daughter would say,” I say, glaring up at him, “not even if you paid me in gold, old man.”

  Tucker smiles wistfully, likely missing his kids. Scarlet was the first to join Aunts Bailey and Sawyer in Conroe full-time. She wanted a fresh start after her divorce plus her kids were getting in trouble in Ellsberg. Soon her mom and brother, Jack, followed, leaving Tucker alone. Even Gram spends half her time in Conroe.

  “How come you didn’t ask Pop if you could move to Conroe too?” I ask after pouring us both coffee.

  “I don’t want to live in that hick town.”

  “Oh,” I mumble. “Well, it’s only an hour drive from here, so I’m sure traveling back and forth isn’t tough. Audrey drives up from Tennessee at least twice a month, and she’s toting a baby now.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  My uncle always thinks everyone’s trying to get something over him. I don’t react to his prickly question. Tucker Johansson doesn’t scare me. He’s a big dumb dog. Pop is far scarier because he’s just as big and tough but so much smarter. My father has the patience to wait for his moment to attack while Tucker will likely forget he’s supposed to be angry.

  “I’m going to see Dash in the hospital,” I announce after eating half the slice of toast. “Do I need an escort?”

  “I’ll follow you there.”

  “What about Mom?”

  “Quaid is out at the trailer.”

  Nodding, I finish my coffee in a few hot gulps before heading for the stairs. “I’ll get dressed.”

  Tucker doesn’t say anything else. Even when we reach the hospital, he just follows me inside and scowls at anyone who might try telling us about visiting hours.

  One reason I wanted to arrive early was to avoid any possible Roche family members. Pop refused to answer any texts related to Rudy’s condition. He only responded with a message reminding me that I’ll need to speak to the police today. Cops don’t scare me. They follow the law while the Roches live on the other side of it.

  The ER waiting room is empty when we arrive. On the second floor, we find only staff on our way to Dash. I realize he’s one room over from where MJ stayed months earlier. Is Rudy also on this floor?

  Hesitating before entering Dash’s room, I think about having our baby in this hospital. I could probably schedule somewhere else, but it’s the closest one, and childbirth doesn’t usually go according to plan.

  Tucker walks past me and enters the room where we find Pop dozing in a chair while Dash sleeps heavily in bed.

  I tiptoe past my father and to the bed. Taking Dash’s hand gently in mine, I exhale deeply as if I’ve been holding my breath since we separated at the car lot. His skin feels warm. I reach to caress his bearded cheek. The sensation of my fingers against his face manages to feel familiar yet still sexy as hell even after so many years together.

  I hear voices behind me, and then Pop offers me the chair. I give him a quick, maybe excessive hug before sitting with Dash. I want him to open his eyes so I can know he knows I’m here, but his drugged slumber won’t be denied.

  Tucker tells Pop that Bobby Bo wants a meeting to “sort things out.” I also hear my uncle say something about the Roches planning to make a show of force for the next few days.

  “What the fuck does that mean?”

  “They’ll be rolling through town, acting scary, I guess.”

  Pop snorts. “I’ll be sure to wear my Depends.”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “Keep watch out front for the cops. I’ll let them know if they want to talk to Lily that they can do it here. I don’t want any badges at my house.”

  Tucker walks out of the room, and Pop calls the police station.

  Once off the phone, Pop moves a chair next to mine. I keep my gaze on Dash’s sleeping face.

  “Is he okay?” I ask.

  “He’s fine.”

  “Would you feel the same way if it was Colton?”

  “Yeah, I would.”

  Despite my father’s snide tone, I believe him. When he’s in Big Bad Leroy Brown mode, he doesn’t hide his lies well.

  “I don’t understand what happened last night.”

  “Topher got pissed at me and tried to make a fatal mistake. Dash decided to save his dad or maybe me by taking the blade rather than letting me. Nothing more complicated than that.”

  Feeling tired, I whisper, “He doesn’t care about Topher.”

  “People always say that about their shitty parents, but they still care.”

  “Did Mom care when Amy and John died?”

  Pop shrugs. “Probably a little.”

  “And she’s a nicer person than Dash, so I know he didn’t take the blade to protect Topher.”

  “Fine, he’s a teddy bear.”

  “He loves me and knows I love you.”

  Pop’s snarling face softens. Even a stone-cold killer like him needs to know his family still hearts him.

  “Is Rudy in this hospital?” I ask when Pop remains silent.

  “No, they sent him to a better one an hour from here.”

  “Is he going to die?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Swallowing deeply, I say, “I didn’t want to kill him.”

  “I know.”

  “He had a gun, and I tried to talk to him.”

  “I know, Lily. You don’t have to feel bad.”

  “That’s the thing, though, Pop,” I say, tearing up. “I might have killed him, but I don’t feel guilty at
all. I should feel something, shouldn’t I?”

  Pop runs his large hand down the back of my head. “You might feel something later. Hard to say. People react differently. You also have a lot of distractions right now. The creep isn’t your main concern. You need to take care of your baby, and I know you want to protect Sissy and her kids. Your mind is on other things. Might be one day when life is quiet that you’ll think about a dead Rudy and care. Or maybe you just never will.”

  “Do you feel bad about the people you killed?”

  Pop hesitates as if surprised I would know about his dirty deeds. “I never killed anyone who didn’t bring it on themselves.”

  “And neither have I,” I say, regretting nothing about pulling the trigger with Rudy. “I’ll pretend to feel bad when we talk to the cops. Crying always comes easily when I feel as if I might get in trouble. With my hormones, crying is even easier. I’ll sob hysterically but not over Rudy.”

  “Good.”

  “I never felt truly safe when Rudy was around. Did I make it worse by getting rid of him, though?”

  “The Roche family won’t mess with us. Rudy got wound up on a fantasy and lost track of his place in the world. His family will try to shake us down for some kind of payment, but they won’t do more than rattle their sabers. They know the Reapers will erase them from existence if they push the matter.”

  Exhaling deeply, I rub my queasy stomach. “I thought the most difficult part of admitting my relationship with Dash would be dealing with your disappointment. I also figured Topher might get his back up, but then Sissy got beat up, and Rudy showed up with a gun and then Dash—"

  Hormonal, stress-induced tears rise in me, but I’m able to get them under control lickety-split. Best if I save them for when I talk to the police.

  Despite the last forty-eight hours falling down a rabbit hole, I still have my eye on the goal of building a happy life with the man I’ve loved for as long as I can remember.

  When he opens his eyes and grins at me, I immediately feel recharged. Nothing and no one will keep Dash and me apart.

  THE CHAPTER WHERE THE WORLD SHIFTS

  THE LOSER

  When my mom ditched me at a park so she could hang with her friends, I forced myself not to care. When my dad announced one day that his new girlfriend didn’t like the family’s Labrador puppy so he got rid of it, I told myself to let it go. For every beating, every time my money went missing, every single insult, I refused to give a fuck.

  Well, I give a hard, rough fuck when I wake up to find a tired, teary-eyed Lily sitting next to my hospital bed. My heart hurts, and I think I might want to harm someone. Does morphine make me homicidal? Or has pot dampened my ingrained killer instinct?

  When Lily leans forward and stares at me, I get a nice little shot of her cleavage when her shirt slides open.

  Grinning, I whisper, “Gimme some treasure, baby.”

  Wild woman Lily ain’t around for our morning kiss. No, I’m sucking the lips of a good girl with her daddy watching. I should probably prevent my hands from guiding her onto the bed where I snuggle more. Yeah, I really shouldn’t misbehave, but fuck it.

  Lily sighs as her body glues itself to mine. “Where are you hurt?” she whispers.

  “Got me in the right love handle.”

  “You’re so warm.”

  “The nurse tucked me in and told me to stop talking. It was like having a mom who cared but also didn’t like me.”

  Giggling against my throat, Lily rubs the tender flesh just under my beard. I shouldn’t get a hard-on, but she normally tickles that spot when she’s looking to attach her hips to mine.

  “Lily, climb off him before you tear open his stitches,” Cooper mutters.

  “No, she’s fine. My stitches on are on the other side,” I say and then whisper to Lily, “And my dick is perfectly healthy.”

  Flushing bright red, Lily giggles harder despite her anxious words, “I need you to be okay.”

  “I am okay,” I say since I’m heavily medicated, sporting a redwood under my hospital gown, and kept warm by the prettiest girl in the world. “Nothing can bring me down.”

  “The cops are downstairs,” Cooper says, testing my good mood. “After you’re done with them, you need to get back to my house while I deal with the Roche meeting.”

  Lily’s smile turns upside down. She stares at me, saying everything that needs saying with her big brown eyes.

  “Give me a minute,” Lily tells Cooper. “I need another minute or two.”

  Those two minutes are spent staring into my eyes. I’m afraid to blink. I can’t look away when she watches me so intently. Finally, a smile washes across her face.

  “Every breath you take,” she whispers.

  “I’ll be watching you,” I whisper back.

  “We’re such stalkers.”

  “I miss stalking you.”

  Lily grins. “I miss being stalked.”

  “But I like catching you better than stalking you.”

  “I like being caught more than stalking you.”

  “For fuck’s sake,” Cooper growls from the now open door. “Was I ever that young and stupid?”

  “No,” I answer.

  Cooper glares at me while Lily gives my lips a sweet kiss with promises of more treasure.

  I feel cold as soon as she leaves my side. Ideally, she’d remain against me all day, and the world would just wait for its fucking turn for our attention. Lily, though, needs to deal with the police. Cooper will then sweep her out of the hospital and force her to hide at his house.

  Rest-time over, I know I can’t stay in bed. No doubt this room costs more than I make in a week especially during the holiday season when most of the college kids head home. With Cy on the run, Sissy at the Johansson place, and me in the hospital, no one is around to sell any of our product.

  Besides paying for this room, I also need to start stashing money away for when the baby arrives. Six months feels like a lifetime away, but it’ll be here quick, and I can’t leave that shit to Lily. Her only job should be growing our mutt.

  Climbing out of bed is one of the most painful tasks in my life, but I’m not too bad off once I get to my feet. I call the nurse to take out the tubes I forgot were stuck inside me. She complains about the doctor wanting me to remain another day. She’s adamant about how things ought to be. Then I tell her that some men might be after me, and she quickly backs down on her refusal to remove the IV and catheter.

  I don’t know if she’s worried about herself or me, but she gets really cooperative once I mention I’m in trouble. In fact, she helps me dress in the clean clothes Lily brought in a bag. They clearly belong to Colton who is a few inches taller and several miles wider in the shoulders. I feel like a kid wearing his father’s clothes. How do these giant people not get stuck in doorways?

  After locating my cell, I decide to get the worst part of my day over with before I deal with whatever Cooper has in mind.

  “Where’s Cy?” a cotton-mouthed Topher asks rather than saying hello.

  “I don’t know,” I say, fighting the urge to laugh when I remember why he sounds weird. “He bailed when he heard the cops were coming.”

  “And your sister?”

  “She and the kids are at the Johansson place.”

  “Aww, well, ain’t that fucking cozy.”

  “I’m getting out of the hospital in a few minutes,” I say, ignoring his tone. “And going with Cooper Johansson to meet with Bobby Bo Roche.”

  “What the fuck are you in the hospital for?”

  “Some old man stabbed me in the back.”

  “He probably thought you were a stupid bitch sticking her bitch nose where it didn’t belong.”

  “Yeah, old people are stupid. Y-any-way, what do you want me to do about Roche? He’s pissed about his kid.”

  “How is that my fucking problem?”

  “He got shot on our property.”

  “By your whore. Seems like you and her fucking daddy bette
r fix the problem.”

  “So you don’t want to have a say?”

  Topher answers my question by hanging up. A smile warms my face knowing I’m not the only one in pain today. Hell, he might not be up to dealing with Roche because he needs to visit the dentist to fix all those missing teeth.

  I’m laughing by the time Cooper returns to give me a disapproving frown.

  “What’s so fucking funny?”

  “I was thinking about Topher’s face after you punched him.”

  Scowl gone, Cooper now smirks. “Yeah, I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.”

  I wobble toward the bed and sigh. “Did Lily leave?”

  “Cops didn’t seem all that interested in her statement. I think they’re so used to people shooting Roches, that they were just surprised it wasn’t another Roche who pulled the trigger. So, yeah, she finished up and Tucker’s driving her home,” he says before sizing me up. “Why are you fucking dressed?”

  “I’m leaving. I also want to go with you to the Roche meeting.”

  Cooper scratches the back of his neck. “The nurse said something about you needing to sign paperwork stating you’ll pay for shit and won’t hold them legally responsible if you die after leaving before they said you should.”

  “I don’t sign legal documents.”

  “Well, I don’t know what to tell you, kid.”

  Shuffling toward the door, I struggle not to grunt with every movement. “Think security will tackle me if I just walk out?”

  “No. They don’t want their guard tearing open your stitches. Hospitals are real sensitive about getting sued.”

  “Good. Let’s go. I want to deal with Roche, so Lily can go home and feel safe.”