Lost Highways (A Valentine Novel)

by Matlock, Curtiss Ann

  She had always loved rodeo grand entries. She liked the lively music that played and the way, at the small, hometown rodeos, that everyone rode around, from fat grandmothers to little bitty cowboys about falling off their mean old Shetland ponies.

  This rodeo, being professional and a little higher on the scale, had only the professionals riding around. Men who worked for the rodeo company and a rodeo queen did a routine with the Texas flag, the rodeo company flag and the Stars and Stripes. The rest of them—Leanne and Rainey managing to make it in at the tail—just rode around them, a flamboyant rush of colors, pounding hooves and flowing tails.

  Perhaps Lulu was not the fastest barrel racing horse, but it was Rainey’s belief that her mare was one of the prettiest out there, and Rainey had dressed carefully, keeping in mind as she always did to wear colors to match her saddle blanket and Lulu, too. Charlene had been the one to teach her to do that; she called it having flow. Rainey knew she was a good sight, and she rode around with confidence. Cocky would be a good word. There on Lulu she knew she was okay and in control of herself.

  She missed Harry the first time she went around, but she found him on the second. He sat right in front, almost in the middle of the arena. He had his hat on. She waved, and he waved back, with that grin of his.

  The Amarillo rodeo arena was old and small and great for people in the box seats around the rail, who got a close-up view of the contestants trying their hearts out and breaking their necks.

  “Oh…I can’t look!” she cried and covered her eyes with her hands.

  She heard the buzzer, and Harry said, “He’s okay,” and patted her thigh.

  “He is? Oh, good.”

  She let out her breath. Harry was regarding her curiously.

  “I get so excited, no matter how much I see all of this. And in these seats, we could end up watching someone get his neck broken right in front of our faces.”

  Right then, as she spoke, a pickup man rode in front of her, and she could have reached out and plucked the Skoal from his back pocket, if his pants hadn’t been so tight.

  She saw the bronc rider dusting himself off in the arena not fifteen feet from their seats. He raised a hand to the crowd, but he was limping. A boy, he appeared to Rainey, when he’d come bouncing past on a thick bucking horse, bouncing so hard that there was a foot of daylight between his bottom and the bronc saddle, until he slipped sideways and then clean off and was dragged along with his hand still wrapped in the rope. It was a wonder his arm had not been ripped clean off before the pickup man managed to get alongside to rescue him.

  “I’ll bet his mother is having a good cry somewhere,” she said, watching him until he went out of sight behind the chutes. The thought that she could have a son that age startled her.

  “I’ve seen them as young as that mangled from car wrecks while they drag raced.”

  Harry’s comment reminded her that he was a doctor, which she guessed she tended to think little about. He leaned forward, his gaze swinging back to the chutes, and she looked at his dark hair curled over his collar. Itched to put her hand there. That he was a doctor seemed strange to her in that moment, although she couldn’t say why. She had thought he was on the edge of his seat from interest, but now she wondered if maybe it was his habit to stay ready for any sort of contingency.

  After the grand entry, she had put Lulu in her stall and come to join Harry until it was time for the barrel racing. That was the definite advantage of not being a champion. Leanne wouldn’t leave her horse alone and was very careful in whose care she did leave him when she had to, because she was afraid someone might steal or drug him. She was right this minute riding her horse quietly around in the area behind the arena.

  The announcer was giving the names of the bucking horses coming up and telling a little about each one, to take up time while the next entrant prepared to ride. When the announcer called the name Pete Lucas, Rainey recognized it as the one Leanne had mentioned in connection with Clay’s. He appeared to be having a bit of trouble getting settled on his bronc, because the bronc—called Texas Tornado—kept trying to climb over the rails of the chute. All the bucking horses were named—the bulls, too—and generally lived a well-fed and even pampered life when they were away from the arena. When they proved to be good stock, they got to be well-known and thought of fondly in many cases.

  All this Rainey explained to Harry as Pete Lucas tried to get himself atop the bronc. Then the chute opened and Texas Tornado jumped out, clearing the ground with all four feet, and she almost put her hands over her eyes, but she got so caught up that she didn’t. The bucking horse sunfished before taking off across the arena, with Pete Lucas bouncing right in the middle of his back and pumping his legs in rhythm with the horse, perfectly balanced, reclining so far he was about lying down. He made such a ride that it brought people to their feet and cheering.

  Rainey and Harry clapped and cheered as hard as everyone else. He grinned at her, and she did the silliest thing. She leaned over and kissed him quickly.

  Undoubtedly it was the lively look in his brown eyes, and she was certain that being only a few feet away from the possibility of witnessing death affected her, because she suddenly felt extremely alive.

  Harry didn’t look surprised. Pleased, but not surprised. Probably he had often been near death and not a lot surprised him.

  She was surprised at herself, though, and turned quickly away to watch the next rider.

  It was as if she were seeing it all through new eyes, as she explained the rules and objectives to Harry. He really liked the steer roping, but the bulldogging appeared to be his very favorite. At first he got awfully upset about the way the steer was jerked around by the neck, by both the rope and the man’s hands, but when each time the animal got up and trotted away unhurt, he relaxed. Rainey decided not to tell him about the one time she had seen a steer that did not get up and trot away after being roped. All sports have their fluke accidents. If people didn’t accept that, she supposed elementary school football would have been stopped a long time ago.

  “I have to go get ready.”

  She really hated to leave him. They were having such a good time, and the intermission clown act was wonderful, but she couldn’t sit still any longer. She had begun to worry about her performance in front of Harry, and to anticipate it, too.

  “I’ll go with you,” he said, standing.

  She looked at him. “You won’t be able to see the races much from the entry door, but you could run back up here, I guess…if you want to do that.”

  He said he would, and suddenly she was very glad he was coming with her. She reached over and took his hand, leading him along.

  The night had turned sharp, and they stopped for her jacket at the truck, and to pet the puppy.

  The horse barn had people coming and going, but it was a different atmosphere, illuminated by light fixtures dropped from the ceiling. More intimate and expectant somehow. With Harry walking alongside, she led Lulu to the outside training pen. As she mounted to ride the mare in a few warm-up circles, Harry, no doubt recalling how his watching her disturbed her concentration, casually went to the truck, ostensibly to quiet the puppy from barking.

  As she rode into the staging area, he walked along beside Lulu. The other barrel racers were waiting there, and one said that the clown act was about to wind up. The Dodge truck was ready to drive in and set up the barrels.

  She glanced down to see Harry’s bright eyes upon her. He reached up and put a hand on her thigh, letting it rest there. She was aware of his warm palm clear through the denim fabric of her jeans. Aware of his long legs as he stood casually, his wide, wiry shoulders under his denim jacket and his intent brown eyes shadowed by his hat.

  Rather than a distraction, his presence was at that moment a comfort. The knowledge came full upon her how sweet it felt that he was there and sharing it all with her. Pulling for her. And then she was swept with sadness, thinking of her mother and that this was what her mother had want
ed, each time she had asked one of them to come watch her. Mama had wanted to share her experiences, her trying, and just whatever happened with something that she loved to do.

  Rainey felt great regret that she had let slip past so many of those times she could have enriched her mother’s life and had her own enriched, by sharing. She wondered if these regrets would ever quit washing over her.

  Loud explosions came from the clown act in the arena—clown acts relied heavily on smoky explosions—and then out came the clowns and in went the Dodge truck with the barrels.

  Harry gave her thigh a squeeze. “Good luck.” And then he left to go back to his seat. She watched him walk away, but it was as if a part of him remained, and she wasn’t alone.

  She breathed deeply and spoke to Lulu, telling her that they had to settle themselves and think about the ride. Get prepared.

  Just then, as she was trying to concentrate on preparedness, Leanne appeared, thrusting her reins at Rainey and requesting her to hold her horse while she ran to the rest room.

  “Ever since I got pregnant, I have to pee about every half hour,” she said in a very aggravated tone and hurried away.

  Pregnant? Rainey was shocked.

  But then she thought her shock was quite foolish. Pregnancy was a very natural thing and did tend to happen when a woman had a relationship with a man. As the shock faded, jealousy inched over her. She was going to be thirty-five and had let her opportunities for a child pass right by her, along with her failed marriages. She would gladly have put up with having to pee every half hour, she thought, if she could have a child.

  She told herself to let that go and get ready to ride. She didn’t want herself and Lulu to embarrass themselves. And then, as life would have it, right when the announcer was calling the first barrel racer, her gaze lit on Herb Longstreet. He was near the arena door, looking in. She thought to go over and speak to him, but there she stood holding Leanne’s horse and trying to get herself prepared.

  She was fifth to go. Things were looking good; only one woman ahead of her had made any time at all. Of course, Leanne hadn’t yet run.

  Screwing her hat on her head, she headed Lulu toward the entry. The mare was a growing ball of eager energy between Rainey’s legs, swishing her tail and champing at the bit. Rainey watched the girl ahead of her run around the barrels; she knocked one with her knee, but it didn’t fall over.

  The girl came racing out of the arena, and Rainey danced Lulu up to the entry. Watching an official, she took three deep cleansing breaths and offered it all up. Then she tapped Lulu’s sides, and they were off.

  Bursting out into the bright lights, heading for the first barrel, Rainey urged Lulu, who reached for ground. Scooting neatly around the first barrel, digging earth, and across to the second barrel. Hooves and hearts pounding. She and Lulu seemed to take wings and fly.

  Look at me, Mama!

  Around the third barrel and heading for home like a flow of wind, everything a blur to her eyes and the roar of the crowd in her ears and Lulu a grand power bearing her along, and as she came bursting out of the arena, blowing right past the next rider with her determined brows, laughter bubbled up and out, as it always did, and she knew with the certain knowing that the reason she did this was for the incredible exhilaration of it.

  Whew! It hovered there, that glorious feeling, like a glow swirling around herself and Lulu. She set the mare walking in a circle. Several people smiled at her, and she knew she wore that grin that causes people to smile in return. Then she saw Harry heading toward them across the sandy ground.

  She flung herself right off Lulu and into his arms.

  CHAPTER 21

  One-Way Rider

  She was amazed when it finally got through to her that she had scored a time of seventeen seconds. This was the fastest time she had ever achieved on Lulu, and it put her tied for second with a girl named Martha Reed.

  “Maybe it’s because I held Leanne’s horse for her while she went to the rest room,” she told Harry. “He and Lulu exchanged breaths, and maybe he gave her some hints in the process.”

  Harry chuckled at this, but she was halfway serious. Something had happened. Maybe it was the clear high-plains air. Or perhaps it was as simple as all the practice finally coming together. Rainey got so caught up in the excitement of the achievement, and in praising Lulu as she walked her to cool her down, that she forgot all about the rest of the barrel racing and missed seeing Leanne’s performance. No doubt after Leanne raced, she and Martha Reed would be tied for third, which was still really good, in her estimation.

  Returning to the arena after settling Lulu in her stall with some alfalfa, they came upon Leanne outside the back door, leaning against the wall. She had the reins of her gelding in one hand and her other hand pressed across her stomach.

  “Leanne…are you all right?”

  Her cousin gave a little weak nod. “I think so. I just felt faint. I think it is probably the hard ridin’.”

  “Leanne’s pregnant,” she said to Harry, as she automatically felt into her jacket pocket for a napkin, in case it should be needed. “Why are you holdin’ your stomach? Are you hurting?”

  “No…I didn’t know I was.” She dropped her arm.

  “Why don’t you sit down,” Harry said, but it wasn’t a question. As he spoke, he took her arm and led her over to a stack of hay bales nearby, jerking one off the top and plopping it down for her. Easily, probably from all the practice he’d recently gotten with Uncle Doyle.

  Leanne sank down on the hay, while she held on to her horse’s reins. She removed her hat, without any regard as to how her hair would look, which was a definite worrisome sign to Rainey.

  While Harry took Leanne’s wrist to check her pulse and asked her if she was having cramps, Rainey went to find a faucet to wet the two napkins she’d found in her pocket. When she came back out, Harry was telling Leanne that she probably should have something to eat and put her feet up.

  Rainey gave her the damp napkins, and Leanne pressed them to her temple.

  Harry said, “I think it was the hard riding—got her out of breath. But it wouldn’t hurt her to lie down.”

  “I’ll just sit here,” Leanne said. “I’m feelin’ a lot better, but I’ll just sit here for a few minutes.”

  Rainey suggested tying Leanne’s horse to a nearby post, but Leanne said he wasn’t one to stand tying and might jerk away and get hurt. Rainey thought it was a good sign that her cousin was strong enough to remain protective of her prized horse. And he wasn’t any trouble, anyway; occupied with snatching alfalfa out of the bales, he wasn’t likely to wander, even if Leanne let him go.

  “I’ll miss Clay’s ride,” Leanne said. “Would you go watch, Rainey, and tell me what happens?”

  “Maybe I should go get him.”

  “No,” she said with some alarm. “I’ll be fine in a minute, and Clay will be disappointed that I missed his ride. If you’ll go watch and tell me, I can tell him that I saw.”

  Rainey closed her mouth against the comment that Leanne’s pregnant state was a little more important than Clay’s bull ride. “Harry will go watch and come back and tell us,” she said.

  Harry was willing, as he always was. He went off, and Rainey sat down beside Leanne.

  “What is he—a doctor?” Leanne asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, for heavensake,” Leanne said, blinking in surprise. Then, looking away, “He’s awfully nice, Rainey. The kind you just want to hug all the time. You’re lucky.”

  “Yes…” Then she added, “We’re just spendin’ the weekend together. Friends.”

  “Awfully friendly,” Leanne said with amusement.

  Rainey’s self-consciousness was quickly overcome by worry about Leanne, whose amusement, which had not been all that much anyway, had faded. For once Leanne didn’t seem to be sucking Rainey’s energy. She appeared too weak for that.

  “Feeling any better?” Rainey asked, wanting reassurance.

 
“A bit, yes,” Leanne said, again pressing the damp napkins to her temple.

  Rainey thought maybe her cousin’s body was better, but her spirit was low.

  “What was your time?” she asked, thinking it would boost Leanne to talk about how quickly she’d run around the barrels.

  “Sixteen-three,” Leanne answered, absently, not seeming to care.

  “Well, that puts you in first place, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes. I knew I would be…I didn’t have to work at it.”

  Rainey supposed Leanne’s comment was more fact than cockiness.

  The sounds of cheering reached them. Rainey said whoever was riding was doing good. She wondered about Leanne needing to lie to Clay about seeing him ride. Rainey did not think her cousin’s relationship with Clay was at all on stable ground, but she thought she should restrain herself from comment.

  Just then Leanne said, “Clay’s real sensitive. He always wants me to see him do well.”

  Rainey was a little startled that Leanne should pick up on her thoughts. She said, “Oh…well,” which was the best she could do, and that with great restraint.

  “Clay wants me to have an abortion,” Leanne said.

  “Oh…well,” she said again, all manner of emotion rolling up inside of her. She rather thought Clay did a lot of wanting. “What do you want, Leanne? It is a baby in your body.”

  Leanne sighed deeply. “I don’t know,” she said wistfully, then added, “Clay’ll hate me havin’ this baby. It’ll tie us down, and he doesn’t want that. And I don’t want to lose him.”

  Rainey’s first question was, why not? She bit the words back for fear of sounding critical, but her feelings rather came out anyway, when she said, “You don’t want to lose a man who wants you to abort his child?”

  “Don’t go gettin’ righteous on me, Rainey. Your closets are pretty dusty, too.”

  “I’m not being righteous,” she said. “I know I’ve made plenty of mistakes in regard to men—in regard to my entire life, really—but I don’t think that precludes me from asking a practical question.”