The Clock People

by Mark Roland Langdale

  It was funny that Victoria had a daughter named Alice, probably after Alice in Wonderland, as Lewis Carroll had sent her a copy of the book and she had thought it quite wonderful. The trouble was, by all accounts Queen Victoria hadn’t much time for her children and often scolded Alice, telling her she was a teller of untruths. I mean Alice, a teller of untruths, Alice of all people! As these curious thoughts flitted here, there and everywhere around her butterfly mind – or was that dragonfly mind? – Scarlet allowed herself a smile, then looked around her as, yes, there was time to smell the roses as she slowed her mind down to a snail’s pace splitting the second again and again and again until it could be split no more. Time to move on, otherwise she would never smell the roses in the window box above the family shop ever again.

  ‘Alice, come back here, the game’s over, I won!’ Victoria shouted chasing a cat through the maze, which then mysteriously disappeared into thin air.

  ‘Sorry about that, I’d lose my cat if it wasn’t screwed on properly,’ Victoria giggled as she waved them all goodbye and followed the cat into the maze, disappearing into the mists of time.

  ‘I hope Wilbur is alright and the Clock People too,’ muttered Scarlet under her breath as Billy appeared out of a hedge maze.

  ‘Almost got stuck this time, better not try that again, don’t want to end up as topiary!’ Billy wheezed, his hair looking like he’d been pulled through a hedge backwards and forwards like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz!

  ‘Here’s a little tip that may help: try not to let your mind wander, try and stay in the moment,’ said Merlin offering some sage advice.

  ‘Don’t let my mind wander? It’s not my mind I’m worried about, it’s my wandering feet and as for staying in the moment, which moment?!’ Scarlet exclaimed as, like Billy, she was beginning to look just a little frayed around the edges, and the hedges, well, they were all looking spick and span as the Royal Gardeners, led by the head gardener Lancelot ‘Capability’ Brown, saw to that. Alfie always looked a little frayed around the edges, as did most boys, so this did not apply to him.

  ‘Wouldn’t this trip be easier on a magic carpet? That way we could see above the hedges. It would make it far easier to find the thief,’ mumbled Alfie talking sense in a manner of speaking.

  ‘I’m Merlin the Magician, not Aladdin. I’m afraid I don’t have a magic lamp at hand to rub. It took half my powers to conjure up the magic carpet for John Joseph Merlin and the other half to take you on this little magical mystery tour!’ Merlin exclaimed looking more than a little wizened around the edges, and that’s edges and not hedges!

  Then time moved on again as figures in all kinds of dress and finery passed quickly by their blurry eyes, a dazzling array of royalty from the centuries past, present and future, as if this were a royal carnival upon the River Thames.

  ‘Look out, I think a giant is playing skittles in the maze!’ cried Billy as a giant stone ball came rolling their way at great speed.

  ‘It’s from one of the many statues that litters the maze, someone or something must have tilted the maze,’ shouted Merlin making it sound like a giant was playing the Victorian puzzle game, Man in the Maze.

  ‘The gods playing games again? How unlike them,’ snapped Billy looking upwards towards the gods with a look of thunder upon his face.

  ‘Or a giant,’ shivered Alfie imagining the worst, and if you imagine the worst the worst will almost certainly come to pass.

  ‘Look out, a giant!’ Scarlet exclaimed almost jumping out of her skin.

  ‘It’s not real, it’s an effigy made of maize, it’s probably been created for some festival or other, or Guy Fawkes Night,’ Merlin grinned swapping the wizened look for one of the court jester, which in all honesty was better than swapping it for a death mask!

  ‘We didn’t want to get caught in a four-dimensional maze and we most certainly do not want to get caught in a maze that’s on fire. This is not the sorry tale of 1666 and the Great Fire of London!’ Billy exclaimed loudly shaking his fist at the gods.

  ‘If the thief turns up you could bring the giant to life, that should scare the living daylights out of him!’ Alfie quipped.

  ‘Yes, that sounds like fun but I’ve got a better idea. Just hold on a tick, I imagine I won’t be long!’ Merlin quipped back as he disappeared into a hedge as if playing a game of hide and seek.

  ‘Forget something?’ John Joseph Merlin asked as Merlin the Magician disappeared from the maze and appeared in the Clock Courtyard.

  ‘Procrastination is the thief of time, you should know that, my old friend,’ Humdinger laughed.

  ‘What do you mean? I’ve been gone years and what happened to you? I thought your time was flying on a magic carpet,’ Merlin said checking the moondial on his wrist to make sure it was still working properly, before he remembered the old time paradox. ‘Ah the illusion of time passing, silly me, must be getting old, it’s the oldest paradox in the book.’

  ‘The magic carpet broke down!’ John Joseph Merlin smiled sheepishly.

  ‘Won’t be two ticks, the small end’s gone,’ Al-jazari grunted looking a little frayed around the edges as did his carpet. You see, Al-jazari was working underneath the carpet which was hovering three foot above the ground.

  ‘Look, I’m in a bit of a hurry, I need one of your automatons and like yesterday or at least by tonight, I’ve got a plan,’ Merlin the Magician said gabbling so fast it was hard to understand what he was saying.

  ‘Automaton you say, well, I can go and get one. I’ll bring it back by hansom cab while my manservant repairs my carpet ride. But what on earth are you thinking of doing with it?’ John Joseph Merlin asked, his curiosity finally piqued.

  ‘Put a spell on it, use it like a suit, a knight in shining armour that can walk, a sort of robot, although of course the robot hasn’t been coined yet, that’s down to Isaac—’

  ‘Newton!’ Humdinger jumped in.

  ‘Not quite, alchemy was more his bag, still is somewhere in time. No, Isaac Asimov who wrote I, Robot, he writes science fiction, although I’d say this idea of mine more comes under the heading of science friction! In truth Merlin was telling a fiction for robots, had been around since the ancient Greeks!’

  ‘I’ll be as quick as I can,’ John Joseph Merlin replied disappearing like a flash into the maze that is London in the hansom cab that was still on the clock.

  ‘I could speed things up by speeding up time or you could simply wind the automaton up and let it make its own way here. Or here’s a radical idea: I could put a spell upon one of those stone dragons sitting over there, bringing them to life, and we could both take a nice little trip over to London Town. We would see quite an amazing light show at this time of night,’ Merlin mused imagining he was a giant winding up the hands around the dial of the celestial clock in the Clock Courtyard by hand, with great rapidity. But it was too late, John Joseph Merlin was halfway across London before Merlin had time to wax his moustache, at least giving him some time to recharge his batteries which were fast running down, which is why he knew he needed reinforcements in more ways than one.

  Tippy and Wilbur then turned up out of the blue in the maze, or black in this curious case, landing on Scarlet’s shoulder on the back of a dragonfly.

  ‘Nice landing, Aviatrix Handle,’ Wilbur said patting Tippy on the back.

  ‘Can’t take all the credit, she flies like a dream,’ Tippy giggled winking to the dragonfly who appeared to wink back.

  ‘You’re back, dragonfly!’ Scarlet cried turning her head to look at the dragonfly, although at first she was not sure if it was the Time Warper until she saw two little figures waving at her. ‘Wilbur, Tippy! Look Alfie, Tippy and Wilbur have been reunited!’ Scarlet cried almost jumping for joy. Then she carefully put her left hand across her chest so the dragonfly could walk onto it, after which she held it out so they could all see them.

 
‘Here we are, Merlin, this may help,’ John Joseph Merlin said speaking to the magician as he pointed to an automaton he had just taken out of the hansom cab.

  ‘Ah, my knight in shining armour, you will make a most admirable shield for me and my companions,’ Merlin said referring to the automaton and not its creator.

  ‘Are you going to be much longer, sir? I’m supposed to be clocking off in half an hour,’ cried the cabbie as the horses became a little skittish, as if they sensed danger of some kind.

  ‘You can go, my good man, and here’s a tip: never trust anybody from the Magic Circle, they will tie you up in knots then run rings round you,’ John Joseph Merlin said giving the man a generous tip along with some sound advice.

  ‘Thank you, sir, most kind of you,’ the cabbie replied hurrying away into the night as fast as his horses could take him.

  Tick tock, tick… time moved forward but not by much…

  50

  The Mechanical Monster

  ‘So these are the little people,’ said Merlin coolly as he appeared out of the mists of time with the automaton by his side. Then with his little magical eye Merlin immediately spied the dragonfly with Wilbur and Tippy sitting upon its back and smiled.

  ‘And least he didn’t call us fairies!’ Wilbur quipped as he turned to Tippy, his eyebrows raised. Wilbur was happy that at last when he spoke somebody could hear what he was saying – that and he was free from the confines of the stuffy snuffbox.

  ‘A giant mechanical monster, I don’t like the look of that!’ Wilbur said cowering behind Tippy.

  ‘Don’t worry, it will only do my bidding, it won’t harm a fly. A thief on the other hand, well, I can’t make any promises on that score,’ Merlin smiled patting the automaton on the shoulder.

  ‘I’ve an idea, why don’t you fly the dragon ahead of us and if you see the thief, come back and tell us where he is?’ said Scarlet thinking on her feet.

  ‘Good idea,’ Billy said.

  ‘I was thinking the same thought, it’s just Scarlet beat me to it,’ Alfie snapped kicking a stone into a hedge in frustration.

  ‘Yes, she appears to be rather good at beating you to it, Alfie,’ Billy smiled.

  ‘They do say great minds think alike. Sir Isaac Newton was always telling old Humdinger that when he had a bright idea. Believe it or not it was old Humdinger that first had the idea for gravity when an albatross feather fell on his head. Of course Isaac claimed the idea for himself, putting a different spin on the same old story, replacing the feather with an apple which in itself was genius,’ Merlin said trying to make Alfie feel better.

  Some small time later the dragonfly returned, although this time it did not land upon Scarlet’s shoulder, it hovered right by her left ear.

  ‘They’ve seen the thief, he’s not far away, follow the dragonfly,’ Scarlet said gabbling in the excitement of the chase. The dragonfly zig-zagged this way and that, flying silently through the maze piloted by Aviator Wilbur Wigglesworth and Aviatrix Tippy Handle, or so they both imagined. In truth they were simply along for the ride, it was the Time Warper dragonfly that was doing all the hard work.

  ‘Look, there he is, the no good, low down snake in the grass,’ Billy said pointing at the thief.

  ‘Snake in the grass? He’s not a changeling, he can’t turn himself into a snake, can he?’ cried Merlin who had never been a lover of snakes ever since he had tried to perform the Indian rope trick and the snake almost crushed him to death.

  ‘It’s just a figure of speech. I have to say I’m not a lover of snakes, they’re too waggly for my liking,’ Billy quipped, a remark Lewis Carroll had made in his book Sylvia and Bruno.

  ‘This is a job for the Iron Monster!’ Alfie exclaimed.

  ‘Yes, perhaps it is,’ Merlin replied setting the wheels in motion as the iron man moved in for the kill.

  ‘Hey, what’s going on? Help!’ a cacophony of voices cried as the ground tilted and they all slid through time.

  Time slid by so fast everything became a blur and the next thing they knew they were back in their time, but still in the maze in Hampton Court, and as fortune would have it by this time the time spell had worn off.

  ‘So we’re back to square one, the Time Thief is in perpetual motion like Merlin and James Cox’s Perpetual Motion Clock!’ Scarlet exclaimed, glad to be home but tired of going round in circles like in a labyrinth, or a crop circle, or a turf maze, which is labyrinthine in shape.

  ‘Not so, I think we’ve got him cornered and at least we’re all on our feet. Sliding upon the damp ground for a man of my age is not good for my wellbeing,’ Merlin grimaced as they found themselves in a cul-de-sac with the thief trapped at the end of it.

  ‘Got him!’ spat Billy, something the old keepers at Hampton Court can’t abide, spitting that is, as if caught you would be thrown unceremoniously into the Pond Garden.

  ‘Unless our thief really is a vampire who can fly like a bat!’ Alfie said pulling a face.

  ‘The only place you’ll find a vampire hiding is in a storybook!’ Merlin grinned.

  The thief backed up as far as he was able until he stopped. He looked up as if he were thinking of either climbing out of the maze or flying out. They all moved in for the kill with a grim look of determination upon their faces led by the automaton which acted like a shield in case the thief had another trick up his sleeve or a gun hidden somewhere upon his person.

  ‘We’ll get our home back and put this villain to the sword!’ Wilbur cried sounding like a Knight of the Round Table.

  The thief then looked up into the sky in desperation, as if hoping a black dragon would come to his rescue, then he reached into his pocket and smiled.

  ‘Be careful, I think he’s got a gun!’ Billy cried diving for cover and pulling Scarlet and Alfie with him, not worrying about Merlin as he imagined after the bullet catch Merlin was bulletproof. Truth was, his shield of magic, like the moon, was on the wane, hence the metal man whose help he had enlisted for this crusade through time.

  ‘It’s not a gun, look, look, he’s got the watch!’ Alfie howled looking up at the moon as it appeared from behind a large cloak-like cloud.

  ‘He’s not threatening to throw it into the Great Fountain Garden, is he?’ Scarlet said getting to her knees.

  ‘Not unless he has a throw like the mighty strong man Hercules. No, he’s trying to use the watch to travel back in time, but it won’t work unless it’s either on the Greenwich Prime Meridian or in the Clock Courtyard,’ Merlin shouted.

  ‘How do you know that?’ Scarlet replied.

  ‘Just call me the Moonstone Detective,’ Merlin said playing the court jester for the umpteenth time.

  ‘Come on, work, work, damn it!’ the thief spat, willing the timepiece to work its magic, but as the rays of the moon hit the moonstone face nothing happened.

  ‘It’s not a full moon, it’s only a gibbous moon. I don’t think there’s enough power for it to work, even if we were in the Clock Courtyard or standing on the Greenwich Prime Meridian.’ The thief seemed to shimmer as if he were half in one time and half in another and he could not decide which time he wanted to be in. The thief momentarily appeared and disappeared several times before, much to his annoyance, finally staying put in the here and now.

  ‘The game’s up, Mr Thief, time to come quietly,’ snapped Billy scowling at the thief for all he was worth.

  ‘I’ll give you the watch and tell you where all the others are, including the Marie Antoinette and Cole’s Compendium if you let me walk out of here,’ the thief snarled playing his last card, which Merlin hoped was the Joker as he tantalisingly held out the watch as if to say, ‘If you want it, you’d better come and get it.’

  ‘You can’t trust him, he’s a thief, put him in handcuffs and make him take us to the treasure!’ Alfie exclaimed.

  ‘I’ll tell you what, Jack, I’ll toss a
coin, you call. Heads and we let you go free, tails and you spend some time in the old Clink,’ grinned Merlin as he took a gold sovereign out of his pocket and tossed it high into the air. The coin span several times, almost as if it were spinning in slow motion. On one side of the coin was the head of George VI and on the other side the head of a dragon along with St George, the knight in shining armour.

  A beam of searing moonlight struck the coin, hitting the dragon, turning it into a thin streak of light. The dragon spun out of the coin as if a miniature acrobat and in the blinking of an eye grew into a dragon almost as big as Draco the star dragon in the heavens above. The dragon flew at the thief who stood back in horror, sure his life was at an end. However, much to his surprise and relief, the dragon did not attack the thief, it simply flew right through him. The thief shook violently, his whole body convulsing as he was held two feet off the floor by two moonbeams, as if a puppet on a string. It was as if he had received a massive electric shock, for his whole body shook as an outline of black smoke surrounded him. The thief then stopped shaking and simply stood still like one of the many statues that stood motionless in Hampton Court Gardens.

  ‘The thief is going to spontaneously combust, setting the maze, Hampton Court and us ablaze at the same time!’ Alfie cried diving for cover.

  Then a dragonfly appeared as if popping out of thin air like an atom in a clever conjuring trick, darting this way and that, something dragonflies appear to make a habit of, as if they cannot make up their mind what to do next.

  ‘Procrastination is the thief of time,’ a disembodied voice cried as a giant Shadow Wind appeared overhead. The dragonfly then changed tack, as it seemed to know exactly where it should be heading, flying directly into the face of the thief, not once but time and time again. This appeared to wake the thief out of his trance-like state, making him thrash out wildly. This in turn cooled him off, stopping him bursting into flames, every action having an equal and opposite reaction, one of Sir Isaac Newton’s theories. Then another dragonfly turned up to lend a hand, and another and another until there was a swarm of dragonflies all swarming around the thief in a giant magic circle that hung in the air. The thief sank to his knees and covered his head with his arms, realising finally the game was up.