“Don’t bother saying anything, Holt. Your silence speaks volumes.”
He turned away so she couldn’t see his face but his hand trembled when he placed it on hers.
“You think I don’t feel anything for you, but you’re wrong. If anything I feel too much.”
That anger that Lily had advised her to let loose flared to life. She was so tired of his bullshit and being yanked back and forth. Shaking with fury, she snatched her hand away.
“How could something be too much? That’s just an excuse. You know what?” she goaded, her ire boiling over. “I can’t wait to get another job so I can put you and the last several weeks behind me. I’m sure it won’t be long before I forget all about you.”
Holt swung back to her, his blue eyes dark with an emotion that stabbed at her heart. She’d said things she didn’t really mean and now she’d pushed him too far. She opened her mouth to tell him she didn’t mean it but his arm snaked out and dragged her so she was sitting on top of him.
His thighs were hard underneath her and his arms were like steel bands. She barely had time to take a breath before his lips came crashing down on hers.
There was no thought of resistance.
They’d both been thinking about this for twenty-one long, frustration-filled days. And nights. Each day they’d become more exhausted and worn down until it had all erupted tonight. Beck had been right. Holt would come for her. She just hadn’t known what it would mean.
“Holt,” she whispered as his warm lips traveled across her cheek and down her neck to the spot where her pulse beat wildly. He nipped at the sensitive flesh before tangling his fingers in her hair and tugging so she was gazing into his eyes.
“Don’t leave, Myra. I need you.” From his pained expression, saying the words couldn’t have been easy for him but they set free a thousand butterflies in her middle while her heart skipped a few beats. He needed her as much as she needed him and that fact was more than she’d hoped for and everything she’d dreamed about.
His questing fingers found the hidden zipper on her dress and the bodice gaped open, exposing her bare breasts to his hot gaze. She arched her back as his lips left a wet trail down to one rosy peak, his tongue teasing until she clutched the back of his head, her fingers winnowing into the silky dark strands of his hair.
Holt sucked the nipple into his mouth and scraped the sides with his teeth, sending shivers up her spine and arrows of pleasure straight to her clit. He dragged his lips to the other pebbled tip as his hands pushed the silk of her gown down to her waist.
Heat swept through her and she squirmed on top of him, the hard ridge of his cock pressing into her backside. Her hands slid to his wide shoulders as he shifted her until she was straddling his thighs, her skirt bunching around her hips.
His callused fingers slid up her thigh, wrapping around the delicate lace of her panties. With one swift motion, he ripped them from her body and tossed them aside with a primal growl that only made her heart accelerate as arousal pooled in her belly. He’d made short work of the flimsy barrier but his pants were still in the way.
She reached down and fumbled with the button on his pants, finally slipping it free before tugging on the zipper. His own fingers were pinching the hard buds of her breasts as she freed his ready cock. Caressing the hot and hard flesh, her thumb brushed the pre-cum covered tip. Her action tore a groan from his lips and he grasped her hips, sinking himself deeply inside of her.
Holt set the pace, his strong hands raising her up and then lowering her onto his thick cock. Each stroke rubbed a sweet spot inside while stimulating her clit outside. She rode him hard and fast, sweat covering her body as their ragged breaths mingled. Her fingers dug into his muscled biceps and her head fell back, her eyelids fluttering closed and shutting out the rest of the world.
They were the only two people at that moment and she purposely didn’t think about tomorrow or what heartache this could bring. She only knew that she’d fallen in love with this warm, giving, but tortured man. They had so much love to give one another if only they put the past aside and tried to build something together.
Teetering on the precipice, she nuzzled his neck and then gently bit on his earlobe, the skin salty on her tongue. “Now, Holt. Please, now.”
His hands slid up her torso to cup her breasts and pinch her nipples. The bite of pain sent her over the edge and his lips captured hers, smothering a scream of completion. Multi-colored lights danced behind her eyelids as she let the cascades of pleasure carry her to heaven and back.
As Holt reached the pinnacle he pulled her closer, burying his head in the curve of her shoulder and groaning her name. They stayed just like that for several minutes as their breathing and heart rate returned to normal. Myra had never felt so close to another human being in her entire life. They had shared something beyond special, something he couldn’t deny.
Holt lifted his head and looked deeply into her eyes. “I want to take you inside the house and sleep in the same bed with you. All night. Not like last time. No more running or making excuses.”
Her throat was too tight with emotion to even speak so she simply nodded, her lips curved into a smile. He was ready to take a chance on love.
And so was she.
*
“And then we had hot fudge sundaes,” Amelia squealed as she described each minute of spending the night with Lily’s parents over breakfast. Clearly the little girl had enjoyed herself and was already talking about the next time.
“It sounds like an amazing night,” Myra laughed as she poured herself more coffee and then refilled Holt’s. Every time their eyes met she blushed a deep red, so she was careful to keep her gaze on Amelia although she could feel him watching her as she moved around the kitchen.
Everything had changed between them after last night. He’d still kept himself hidden with the light off and the covers pulled up but after making love again they’d curled together and fallen deeply asleep. He’d even woken her with a kiss and a hot cup of coffee. She could definitely get used to this.
“Nicky’s grandpa told him a story about a treehouse. Nicky and I want to build a treehouse. Can we, Mom?”
Myra wondered if Lily and Dane were having the same conversation this morning with their son. She’d have to talk to them today and find out how they were handling it. Things were better than ever with Holt but that didn’t mean she could commandeer a tree and build something in it.
“We’ll talk about that. I was thinking we might go to the park this morning,” Myra said over the peal of the doorbell. “We could take some bread to feed the ducks.”
“I got it. Finish your breakfast.”
Fiona and Bart had the day off so Holt headed for the front door as Amelia continued her lively chatter about the plans for the day. Myra gave him a smile on his way and he brushed her shoulder with his hand, leaving tingles in his wake.
“Can we take a lunch too? We can have a picnic.”
Her daughter had a wonderful idea. Perhaps Holt would want to come along too. It was going to be a gorgeous, sunny day and it would be a shame to be stuck in the house.
“I think that’s a good idea. I can fix something or we can pick up some sandwiches or chicken on the way. Your choice.”
“Chicken,” Amelia crowed as Myra had known she would. “I want to take Mr. Bear too. He likes picnics.”
“Of course he can go–” Myra was interrupted by Holt clearing his throat. He had a strange look on his face and at first she didn’t recognize who was at his side. The man had barely been in her thoughts this last month but now here he was.
“Hey Myra.” Bobby knelt down and held out his arms. “Hey princess. Come give Daddy a hug. I’ve missed you.”
He looked tired, with maybe a little extra around the middle, but basically he was the same man that had kissed her goodbye months ago, telling her he loved her and would be home soon.
Liar.
She thought she might feel hurt, hate, or maybe even some
leftover love but all she felt was glad that Amelia would finally see her father.
“Daddy!” Amelia hurriedly pushed away from the table, the chair almost falling backward in her haste. “Daddy, I’ve missed you too.”
Bobby enfolded Amelia into his arms, lifting her off the ground and whirling her around. The little girl giggled and chattered to her father about her new room, her new preschool, the pool, and the horses down in the barn.
“Can I take Daddy to see the horses? Can he go with us to the park?” Amelia asked excitedly. “I want him to go with us.”
Myra’s gaze went immediately to Holt who wore an inscrutable expression, his shoulders stiff. She wanted to reach out to him and tell him that she wanted him to go to the park but Bobby stood literally and figuratively right between them.
Heart pounding in her chest, Myra stood but didn’t move toward her ex-fiancé. “I think that’s a good idea. Why don’t you take your daddy down to see the horses?”
Bobby looked like he wanted to object but she wasn’t all that interested in what he wanted at the moment. He’d forfeited that right a long time ago. What she wanted right now was to talk to Holt.
“Sure, princess. Let’s go see these horses.” Amelia slipped her hand into Bobby’s and they tromped out the French doors and toward the barn – Amelia skipping happily next to her father.
Myra and Holt were now alone in the quiet kitchen. “Did you know he was coming this morning?”
Holt walked over to the coffeepot on the counter and refilled his cup, looking out of the window instead of at her. “No. I knew the PI had found him but I didn’t know he was on his way back here. I assumed you wouldn’t hear from him until you filed the court papers for child support. He must have realized he had an investigator on his tail.”
“Probably. It’s just so strange for him to be back.”
It sounded lame she was sure but it was the truth. Seeing him here in this house seemed…wrong. Out of place. She’d found peace here in this home and Bobby’s arrival threw that into chaos.
“I’m sure it does,” Holt agreed, still avoiding her gaze. “But you must be happy after seeing Amelia’s reaction.”
“I am happy. I guess I’m just still in shock.” Her mind still muddled with Bobby’s surprise arrival, she rinsed out her coffee cup and began to clear the table. “I have a lot of questions. I don’t even know if he’s here to stay or just for a visit.”
“You two need some time alone to talk.”
Myra had no desire to be alone with Bobby but Holt had a point. She needed to know what his presence here meant. Did he want his old life back or had he started a new one? How did Amelia fit into all this?
“I guess we do.”
What she really wanted to do was stay here with Holt. Just be close to him. But at the moment the warm, smiling man who had brought her coffee in bed was nowhere to be found. As each minute passed he’d grown colder and more remote. Physically and emotionally he’d withdrawn into the Holt Winslow she’d met when she’d first moved in.
“I think that I’ll get some work done today.” Holt turned his back to her and rinsed out his cup.
Not able to stand his aloofness any longer she walked across the kitchen and slid her arms around his waist, pressing her head to his muscled back. Stiff at first, he turned in her arms and wrapped his own around her tightly. Dropping a kiss on the top of her head, he finally seemed to relax.
“You can go with us to the park.” His skin felt warm under her palms even through the cotton material of his shirt.
“Bobby should go. Amelia will want to spend time with him. Besides, I really do have work to do. Maybe we can do something tonight. Dinner and a movie or something. I’m sure there’s something out that we can take Amelia to.”
His voice rumbled in his chest, tickling her ear. She sighed and burrowed deeper into his arms, feeling quite content to stay there as long as he’d let her.
“I’d like that.” She leaned back to look up at his handsome face. “Don’t work too hard, okay? I want you to have lots of energy tonight.”
His mouth tipped up at the corners and the distance between them fell away. “A woman with plans. I love it. I promise I won’t wear myself out if you promise the same.”
“I’ll promise if you kiss me.”
“Blackmail? You’re a naughty young woman.”
But he kissed her anyway, bending her back over his arm and taking his time, exploring her mouth leisurely as if they had all morning. When he finally lifted his head her cheeks were hot and her pulse racing. He brushed her lips one last time before straightening up, his arms falling away.
She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear as her breathing slowed. “Are you sure you have to work today?”
“I do. Have fun and come find me in the office when you get back.” Holt ran his fingertip across her cheek and a wave of heat and longing swept through her.
“I will,” she promised. “We won’t be gone all day.”
Myra needed to talk to Bobby but more than that, she needed to be with Holt. Once she’d straightened things out with her ex she could move forward with her future.
Holt Winslow.
Chapter Twelve
‡
“There are a few things I need to say.”
Bobby dumped the remains of their picnic lunch into a garbage can as Amelia skipped off to play with a few of her friends. Myra had known this was coming all morning but that didn’t make it any easier. The only thing that did make it bearable was that she was completely and totally sure she wasn’t in love with him anymore.
Whenever he was near she didn’t feel anything. No hurt. No anger. Only a sadness that Amelia was going to have to eventually learn that Mommy and Daddy weren’t going to live together anymore. Myra and Bobby would have to alternate holidays and birthdays, shuttling their daughter back and forth between homes. It wasn’t what she’d imagined life to be like but reality rarely lived up to dreams and fantasies.
Myra sat down on the picnic table bench so she could monitor Amelia playing. “I’m listening.”
Bobby came down to sit beside her, trying to place his hand on hers but she jerked it away. He’d done this too many times and she wouldn’t be patted on the head and placated as she had in the past. He needed to stand up and own the crap he’d pulled.
Not for Myra’s sake but for Amelia’s. He owed his daughter an apology.
“I can see you’re mad.”
Ah, there it was. That whiny, petulant tone she knew so well. It was the one he used to get his own way.
Too bad.
“I’m not mad. I’m puzzled, really.” Myra kept her eyes on Amelia, playing happily with friends and completely unaware of the unfolding drama. “What made you think it was okay to just up and leave your daughter? With nothing, I might add. You cleaned out every cent in our bank accounts, Bobby. Did you even think about how I was going to take care of our child? Did it even cross your mind?”
She’d managed to keep her voice even but anger burned in her gut when she thought of how callously he’d treated Amelia. He’d only thought of himself.
“Geez, Myra. I made a mistake. A bad one. But I’m here now. Isn’t that something?”
“Not really,” she retorted, for the first time really seeing who Bobby was. A child in a man’s body. Not trapped because that would mean he was trying to get out. But instead he was quite comfortable in his infantile role. “You’re Amelia’s father. You’re supposed to be with her. You don’t get bonus points for doing something you’re supposed to do. And what are you sorry for exactly? Leaving? Sending me a crappy text? Not talking to your daughter for months? Or the other myriad of things you’ve pulled in the past? Which is it?”
Bobby’s face turned a deep red and he shifted uncomfortably on the bench. “You’ve changed since I left, and not for the better. You were always busting my balls about something.”
Myra was speechless with shock. “I let you get away with everythin
g. I was the only grownup in our home.”
Shoving his hands into his shorts pockets, he stuck his chin out defiantly. “Every time I came home you practically met me at the door with a list of things you wanted me to do. It made me want to stay out on the road.”
Opening her mouth to defend herself, Myra thought better of it. It wouldn’t change anything and it wasn’t like she wanted to get back together with him. She’d moved on and would never accept that kind of relationship again.
“We’re not getting anywhere here and blaming each other doesn’t solve the issue we have right now. Are you back in Florida to be some kind of a father to Amelia or are you just passing through?”
Bobby gazed down at his shoes. “I’ve moved in with my folks. Trina and I broke up. Once the money was gone she moved on to another guy.”
Myra didn’t feel any of the satisfaction she thought she’d feel if she ever heard those words. Instead she wanted to roll her eyes and ask him what he’d thought was going to happen but she managed to keep the words to herself.
“So you’re back in Florida to stay?”
“It’s not the whole reason I came back,” Bobby shrugged. “I knew you had someone asking questions about me. My boss called to warn me you were probably hunting me down for child support. Figured I might as well come back.”
“Your daughter missed you but you never called or anything. Did you miss her at all?” Myra asked almost desperately. Her taste in men sucked. Big.
“Sure. Sure I did. She’s really grown. Looks a lot like you.”
Myra didn’t know whether to yell or cry. Not for herself but for Amelia. Her little girl was never going to have the father she deserved. If the past was any indication of the future Bobby would continually disappoint their daughter. Maybe not today, but surely time and time again.
“I’m very angry with you, Bobby,” Myra finally said as calmly as she could manage. She’d kept quiet so many times before she wasn’t going to keep her feelings under wraps any more. “Even if you hated me you shouldn’t have done that to your daughter.”
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