“I shouldn’t have done that to you–” Bobby began but she cut him off with a wave of her hand.
“This isn’t about me. I’m fine. This is about you and your behavior. Taking ownership of the decisions you’ve made in the past and will make in the future. I’ve covered for you with her all these months because I didn’t want her to hate you.” Taking a deep breath, Myra had to know one thing. “Let me ask you an important question. What do you want? How do you want this little drama to end? What’s success for you look like?”
Bobby looked up, a sheepish grin on his boyishly handsome face. She used to think he was incredibly good looking but now she could see the weakness in his chin and the immaturity in the way he carried himself and dealt with others. It felt freeing to see the truth at last no matter what his answer was to her questions.
“I was kind of hoping we could go back to the way it was. You, me, and Amelia.” Bobby grabbed her hand and squeezed her fingers. “We had some good times. It wasn’t so bad, was it? We’re a family, baby. A family.”
Myra’s gaze settled on her daughter playing on the swings with her friends. She’d do anything for Amelia, even sacrifice her own happiness.
But it wasn’t that simple.
Myra wanted to raise a strong, independent female. A woman that could stand on her own two feet and live on her own terms. What kind of message would she be sending Amelia if she forgave Bobby and they went back to the way they’d been living? Eventually her daughter would grow older and see that her mother was unhappy and that her father didn’t treat Myra with respect.
“We need to sit down and figure out custody and child support. I’m willing to do this outside the court system if we can stay civil about it.”
A surge of strength ran through her body and she knew she’d made the right decision. All these months the question of what she would do if she ever saw Bobby again had been weighing on her. Now it had melted away and she felt lighter, younger. Happier.
More at peace with her decision.
Bobby’s mouth was hanging open in surprise. He’d truly thought he could waltz back in, say he was sorry, and all would be forgiven. She’d go back to cooking and cleaning and he’d pick up where he left off on his latest video game. It said nothing good about their relationship before.
“Shit, Myra, you’ve really turned cold. I just want to see Amelia now and then, you know, when I’m in town. I’ll be on the road most of the time. As for money, I’ll send you what I can. I owe some people.”
Myra choked back a bitter laugh. “Of course you do. Is that why you really came home?”
He flushed again and hopped to his feet. “Let’s drop Amelia off at your house and then we can go get a cup of coffee or something. Talk everything out. It’ll all be good. What do you say?”
She didn’t bother correcting him that it was Holt’s house. Knowing Bobby as she did, he wasn’t going to be around long enough for it to matter. He liked to travel and move around – new places, new people. He’d wander in and out of their lives and that was just who he was. It wasn’t bad and he wasn’t evil. It was easier to accept who he was without wishing he would change.
“How about we take our daughter for some ice cream? I want you to be able to spend as much time with her as you can before you leave again.”
Bobby tilted his head and looked at her for a long moment as if trying to decide if she was serious or not. He must have decided she was because he jogged over to Amelia, lifting her onto his shoulders and spinning around until the little girl squealed with delight.
Myra could do this. She could put the past behind her while keeping Amelia’s happiness her number one priority. She might have to bite her tongue on occasion and hold her temper, but perhaps she and Bobby might end up as friends.
*
Holt finally heard the front door open and the sound of Amelia’s voice drift through the office door where he’d been working until Beck had shown up about a half hour ago.
“See? She’s back. You can relax now.” Beck tossed a crumpled ball of paper at Holt and laughed. “You’ve barely listened to a word I’ve said the entire time I’ve been here.”
“I’ve listened. You want to build a house or something, right?”
Holt stood, wanting to greet Myra when she walked through the door. She’d told him she’d come find him and he couldn’t wait to be found. He’d missed her all morning and he wasn’t too macho to admit it.
He was in love. And damn did it feel good.
“Something like that. Do I need to make myself scarce now that your woman is home? I wouldn’t want to cramp your style or anything.”
Holt grinned at his brother who was already moving toward the office door. “I’d tell you to get the hell out but I’m too polite. Besides, while Amelia is awake we won’t have much alone time so you might as well stay.”
Beck flung open the door with a laugh. “Then I will hang around. Maybe Amelia would like to go riding with her future Uncle Beckett.”
Holt thought that sounded like an excellent idea but he’d have to clear it with Myra first. There was also the chance that Amelia would be spending some time with Bobby.
When Holt and Beck entered the foyer it was only Bobby standing there studying an old black and white photo of Holt’s parents. Myra and Amelia were nowhere to be found.
“Where’s Myra and Amelia?” Holt asked, eyeing Bobby dubiously. He wasn’t sure he trusted the laid back man after what the PI had told him. Bobby liked fast women and playing poker. Unfortunately he didn’t do the latter well. He owed a few people in Vegas.
“They went upstairs so Amelia could change. She got pretty dirty at the park. We’re taking her for ice cream.”
We?
Beck extended his hand to Bobby. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Beckett, Holt’s brother.”
“Bobby. Nice to meet you. Do you live here too?”
“No, I have a condo at the beach actually.” Although Beck had said mere minutes ago that he wanted to sell it.
Bobby’s expression brightened. “Wow, that must be awesome. I’d love to have a little place on the beach. Just me, Myra, and Amelia. Maybe a dog too.”
What the hell?
Beck elbowed Holt but kept his attention on Bobby. “Nothing like man’s best friend. So you’re thinking about a family home? Prices aren’t too bad right now.”
“At least a three bedroom,” Bobby replied with a wide smile. “I think Myra wants more kids.”
Holt almost choked on his spit. Bobby was making future plans with the woman Holt loved. Had Myra already changed her mind now that Bobby had returned?
“So you two are back together?” Beck asked, his voice booming in the silence and bouncing off the high ceiling. “Myra is a wonderful woman.”
Bobby grinned, his chest puffed out with pride. “Some things are meant to be.”
Myra’s ex sounded way too confident and Holt wanted to smash his fist in the man’s pretty boy face. He couldn’t believe that last night meant nothing to her.
“I have work to do.” The pain in Holt’s heart made it hard to breathe and the last thing he wanted to do was watch Myra and Amelia leave with this dipshit. “I’ll be in the office.”
Holt quickly turned on his heel and retreated behind the closed door, falling heavily into the leather chair. Leaning back, he stared at the ceiling until the door opened and Beck came into join him.
“Are you okay?”
Holt shrugged, determined to ignore the pain of betrayal that was growing larger with each passing minute. He’d thought they had something together.
He’d thought she loved him too. That this time was going to be different.
“I’m fine. I just have a lot of work to do.”
He swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump that had somehow taken up residence in his throat. If he’d been thinking straight he wouldn’t be this hurt. This disappointed. He would have been guarding his heart the entire time. But he’d let Myra in and
now he was paying the price.
“There’s always plenty of work, brother. And I can tell you’re not okay.”
“Then why did you ask?” Holt stared unseeingly at the screen of his laptop. “Listen, I’m fine. I never believed that she was serious about me. I’m just disappointed that I won’t get to have sex with her anymore. That’s all.”
Beck whistled and sat across from Holt. “You were only in it for the sex then? Smart. Women are fine but you can’t really trust them. They’re mostly just after a man’s wallet. Then his dick. Use ’em and keep them in their place. That’s what I always say.”
“You sound like Dane used to. And I’ve never heard you say any of that.” Holt raised his gaze so he was looking his brother in the eye. “Myra’s not like that.”
Beck propped his feet up on Holt’s dark oak desk, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “She’s like all the rest of them. If Bobby hadn’t showed up you probably would have bought her some jewelry, maybe taken her on some expensive vacations. You’re damn lucky he showed up when he did. Saved you a mountain of cash. Myra looks expensive.”
A muscle in Holt’s jaw tightened at his brother’s words. “I said she’s not like that.”
Beck swung his legs down and leaned forward so his palms rested on the desk. “What do you really know about her? She could have been trying to take you for every cent you have. It’s really too bad though. I wouldn’t have minded having a go at her when you were done.”
Holt didn’t even realize he was up and out of his chair until Beck was sprawled on the carpet holding his jaw.
“You do love her,” Beck crowed triumphantly, all the while rubbing his rapidly swelling face. “I knew it. She loves you too, brother. Don’t be a fucking idiot. Bobby’s blowing smoke up your ass. There’s no way she’d pick him over you.”
“He sounds like he believes it,” Holt muttered. “How can you be sure she loves me?”
“Because I see how she looks at you.” Beck jumped to his feet. “Bobby was saving face out there.”
Holt wanted to believe Beck more than anything in his life. If he went to Myra he’d be taking a huge chance. Putting his heart out there and letting her stomp all over it wasn’t his idea of fun. Or even slightly pleasant.
“Bobby is Amelia’s father. They’re a family.”
“No,” Beck shook his head. “They were a family and then Bobby did something supremely stupid and left without a word until today. Even if she has feelings for him, do you think he’s better for her than you are? Do you think Bobby will do something dumb again, because I sure do. He’ll hurt her again and you’re going to sit back and let him. That doesn’t sound like you.”
There was no way Bobby could love Myra more than Holt did. Holt would never have been able to leave them without a backward glance. And he’d rather rip off his good arm than let her feel a moment of pain ever again.
“Fuck.”
“You’re going to have to leave the comfortable, safe world you’ve built and take a chance,” Beck smirked. “I think you can do it, and I think Myra’s worth it.”
“I should have hit you harder.”
“Next time I’ll hit back. That was a free shot. Now what are you going to do?”
Holt was a mess of thoughts and emotions but one thing stood out among everything else.
He loved Myra.
Without a backward glance Holt strode out of the office and back to the foyer just as Myra, Amelia, and Bobby were walking out of the front door.
“Myra,” Holt called, his heart racing and his palms sweating. The next five minutes would decide if he was heartbroken or the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet. No pressure. “Just a minute.”
She paused and turned, a soft smile on her pretty face. It was very much like the one she’d worn this morning. “Holt, your office door was closed and I heard Beck in there. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
Holt caught up to her and placed his hand over hers which was curled around the doorknob.
“Are you three going somewhere?” he asked, keeping his voice completely neutral as if whether she stayed or not wasn’t important.
“We’re taking Amelia for ice cream.”
“Chocolate.” Amelia was holding onto her father’s hand, a big smile on her face. “With whipped cream and sprinkles.”
“That sounds like fun, sweetheart. Especially the sprinkles.”
“We need to go, Myra,” Bobby said sharply, his body tensed and his voice loud.
Holt’s gaze collided with Myra’s and locked. Her head was tilted to the side in question, her expression puzzled. Clearly she knew something was going on here but didn’t know what. Words stuck in his throat as he opened his mouth to ask her to stay, the fear keeping him silent. He tried to put everything he felt – all the love he had – into the look he gave her.
“Wait,” she shook her head uncertainly, still staring at Holt. “Do you need something?”
Her voice was soft and hesitant but Holt nodded, his fingers squeezing her own. “I do.”
A slow smile began to spread across her face and she twisted her hand so they were tangled together.
“I don’t think I’m coming along, Bobby. I’m staying here.”
Bobby sputtered something unintelligible but Beck was right there to smooth over the situation.
“I love ice cream,” Beck announced, sweeping past Holt and Myra and down the porch stairs to where Bobby and Amelia stood waiting. “How about double scoops for everyone? On me.”
Amelia squealed with delight and Bobby looked decidedly unhappy. Too bad. He’d had his chance and he’d blown it.
“Myra?” Bobby stood, his mouth hung open in shock. It had obviously never crossed lover boy’s mind that he wouldn’t be forgiven. “You really aren’t coming?”
“I’m really not.”
Beck herded Bobby and Amelia into his car over the other man’s protests and the expensive sedan slid smoothly away and down the long lane to the main road.
Holt and Myra were alone.
“You didn’t leave.” Holt raised her fingers to his lips and kissed the tips.
“I wanted to stay.”
He slid his arms around her, pulling her against his body, breathless now from arousal rather than fear.
“I should have said I love you this morning.”
“Better late than never.” Her smile was blindingly happy.
“I love you. More than you can ever imagine. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and making you happy.”
He loved her so much his heart ached with it but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’d eventually get used to her holding his heart in her small hand.
“I love you too.” Silvery tears slid down her cheeks and her lips trembled with emotion. “I feel like I’ve never really been in love before.”
“Everything was just a rehearsal for this. Us.” He traced a tear with his finger. “Bobby intimated that you were getting back together.”
Her mouth fell open and then she gave him an unladylike snort. “Fat chance. I told him straight out that wasn’t happening. He was pulling your leg.”
“It doesn’t matter now.”
Myra chewed on her full bottom lip. “He’s Amelia’s father. He’ll be in and out of my life for many years to come.”
Holt laughed and pulled her closer. “We’ll all find a way to co-exist. I want to do what’s best for Amelia.”
“She adores you.”
“The feeling is mutual but right now I’d like to take advantage of the fact that we have an empty house thanks to Beck.”
He leaned down so their lips were only a few inches apart. She looked at him with an adoring expression he never thought he’d ever see and slid her arms around his neck.
“I have exactly the same idea.”
Sweeping her up into his arms, he kicked the front door shut behind them before carrying her up the long staircase and to his room. This would be the first time he’d ever made love…in love.
The real kind.
He wanted to be with her every single day for the rest of his life. Taking chances wasn’t so bad after all.
Chapter Thirteen
‡
Myra couldn’t get out of her clothes fast enough. Every molecule of her being was urging her on to be with Holt. And their love would make it all the more special.
Her shorts and t-shirt hit the floor, quickly followed by her bra and panties. Holt had kicked off his shoes and was slowly working on the buttons of his shirt. Really slow. As in glacial. She almost teased him before she realized why he was delaying.
They had one last barrier to overcome.
Approaching him, she reached out and brushed his hands out of the way, her own fingers making quick work of the tiny buttons. Her gaze found his own and she didn’t look away as she slid her hands up his warm flesh and pushed the fabric off his shoulders and onto the floor.
It was then that Holt’s eyes squeezed shut, trying to block out her reaction she assumed. Instead she popped open the button-fly of his jeans one at a time before helping him pull them off. He still hadn’t opened his eyes but for the first time she allowed her gaze to roam freely up and down his perfectly muscular body.
His right side was smooth and unmarred, the skin tanned to a golden brown by the Florida sunshine. It was the left that was a visual reminder of all that he had been through. The skin mottled and pale, shiny in some spots. Pink scar tissue crisscrossed his leg and torso, a lasting reminder of the horror and pain he’d endured.
She fell to her knees and began to slowly, inch by inch, kiss her way up his left leg, her lips pressed to the worst of the scars. She heard his sucked-in breath and then his fingers tangled in her hair. Not hurrying, she pressed a trail of kisses over the knee, up the thigh, and around the hip.
His fingers tightened in her hair and a groan was torn from his throat. Her hand caressed the smooth hardness of his cock as she traced each line on his torso with her tongue, landing butterfly kisses in between. When she reached his shoulder, she looked up to find tears shimmering in his pale blue eyes.
Emeralds, Rubies, and Camouflage Page 10
