Keep Forever

by Alexa Kingaard

  “It will be about a thirty-minute wait if that’s okay.”

  “Not a problem.”

  “You’ve done this before,” Elizabeth observed.

  “Yeah, a few times.” Paul squeezed Elizabeth’s hand and she pressed back. They took a place in line and leaned against the cold brick wall of the restaurant, a perfect vantage point to observe the hustle and bustle of a Saturday night in Westwood Village, THE college spot, tucked into the larger campus of UCLA. It had a stellar reputation as one of the best universities in the country, proximity to beaches, Hollywood, and the vibrant pulse of downtown Los Angeles nearby. There were six movie theaters in a four-block radius, and just as many bars and places to dance. The air smelled like youthful exuberance, time to let your hair down after a long week of classes and tests—drink, get loud, make love, and have fun.

  “Oh, I see them.” Linda pointed to Paul and Elizabeth, inching closer to the front of the line. “I hope Elizabeth likes me.” The petite brunette wasn’t sure and looked for reassurance from Sam.

  “Don’t worry. I’m sure Elizabeth’s as nervous as you are. It’ll be easier at dinner to talk and visit. Driving the LA freeways on a Saturday night makes everyone edgy. I’m sure she didn’t want to distract the driver.” They walked to the front of the line and joined Paul and Elizabeth. Sam wrapped a protective arm around his girl. Linda didn’t flinch when his cold prosthetic brushed against her skin. Past their first conversation, his “disability” was never mentioned. Elizabeth noticed and smiled.

  They barely heard, “Paul, table for four,” over the din of diners’ voices as they struggled to talk over each other in the crowded room. When they followed the hostess past a myriad of tables and into the back room to an oversized, comfortable booth, a slight hush fell. The dimly lit room was for the overflow crowd, and was quieter than the main eating area. “This is so beautiful,” Elizabeth gushed.

  Most of the time dining out meant a sidewalk café or fast-food restaurant, so her heart beat faster as she glided into the buttery-soft leather seats. Paul slid in beside her. The seating arrangement was a large horse-shoe configuration with high, tufted backs and a rich mahogany table set with white cloth napkins and gleaming silverware. Elizabeth was glad she chose to wear her new bell-bottoms—dark navy denim—and a soft white angora cardigan, the top two buttons left open to create a more attractive neckline. She had thought about a casual, cotton peasant top, but at the last minute, decided the sweater was the right touch. She liked the way it made her look with her auburn hair, now down to her waist, the perfect contrast to the cream color of the sweater, and her green eyes highlighted by a little eyeliner and mascara. She felt confident and joyful and ready for the evening to begin.

  “Elizabeth, I think you and Linda have a lot in common. She has one rotten older brother and two annoying little sisters.” Sam smiled, hoping to get the conversation started between the two of them.

  “I don’t have two annoying little sisters.”

  Sam shook his head, still smiling. “Good one, Sophomore.”

  Without skipping a beat, Elizabeth turned to Linda. “I’ve heard so much about you. It’s about time Sam introduced us. He tells me you’re studying Computer Science at Pasadena City College. That’s a new field. I’m still scared of word processors, and not ready to give up my Selectric II typewriter, but it gets the job done. Where did you say you were from?”

  “I was raised in Rhode Island, but came out here for college. Don’t know if I’ll ever go back home.”

  “That’s nice. Not too far from Boston. I didn’t think you were from Southern California—no way you could put up with Sam’s thick accent. He’s a lucky man.”

  Paul and Sam sat quietly and pretended to be interested in their conversation. By the time dinner was ordered, the girls were deep into a heart-to-heart exchange, learning, talking, and getting along well as far as Sam could see. With no parents, it was important Elizabeth approve of the girl who was becoming more significant to him with every passing day, and who might one day be his wife. Paul and Sam devoured their bacon burgers and French fries without saying a word. They listened to Linda and Elizabeth in silence, thankful they didn’t have to talk.

  “Are you ready for dessert?” The rail-thin, coed waitress broke in on their conversation. When everyone said they were too full for anything more, she tallied their check and left it on the table. One by one, they peeled themselves from the booth, strolled out of the restaurant, and stepped into the chill of the crisp, winter night. Elizabeth felt more alive than she had in her entire life, tingling from head to toe as she absorbed the rush of people, cars and sounds that surrounded her.

  Paul stayed close to Elizabeth as they entered the bar, and though careful to remain a gentleman, couldn’t keep his eyes off her. Somehow this evening she seemed magical to him, and he felt good just being around her. He was proud to show her off to the college boys even though he hadn’t gathered the courage to consider this evening anything but a friendly outing.

  )

  Paul gently put his hand on the small of Elizabeth’s back and guided her through the still-crowded room, down the stairs, and out to the sidewalk that was packed with people in no hurry for the night to end. Elizabeth felt something, not sure what, but mostly safe, warm, and happy.

  When Paul walked Elizabeth to her apartment door, he glanced at his watch and couldn’t believe it was already two a.m. Sam and Linda waited behind at the curb, car in neutral, waiting for Paul to say good night. With a charming smile, Paul said, “Thanks for a great evening, Elizabeth. I think that’s the most fun I’ve had since I came home from Nam.”

  Still feeling a bit light-headed, she didn’t let on to Paul that her heart had fluttered all evening and she hoped the date would end with more than a handshake. Accepting the fact that she was probably alone in her fantasy, she simply nodded as she turned the key in her door. “Me too, Paul. That was fun. Thanks for a perfect evening.”

  Paul, aware of the watchful gaze of Sam and Linda, threw aside caution and leaned in for a kiss, eager to taste the sweetness of Elizabeth’s lips, a moment he’d been thinking of since he first laid eyes on her when she was just sixteen years old. Then it had seemed impossible to him that they could ever share this moment. As his body felt the physical pain of restraint, his mind cautioned. Take is slow. Don’t hurt this girl. Don’t start something you can’t finish.

  Elizabeth smiled and leaned in closer, savoring the sensation of his gentle mouth pressed against hers, careful not to linger. Her body tingled with a rush of pleasure, something she had never felt or dared to think she would ever experience. They stepped back, nervous and uncertain of what to do next. Elizabeth finally spoke first, “Well, ’night Paul.”

  “’Night Elizabeth. Thanks again,” was all Paul could think to say as he turned and walked back to climb into the back seat of Sam’s car. What did I start that I might never be able to finish? I will never be good enough, rich enough, confident enough to share my life with this angel. The timing was not right, and he knew it. “Maybe one day,” Paul thought to himself.

  )

  Four more years passed in a blur of college papers, part-time jobs, and a friendship that blossomed between Elizabeth and Paul, but never made it past that first kiss. She lacked the courage to ask him why and instead immersed herself in her studies, hoping that her life would start in earnest after she earned her degree. She dated infrequently and wondered if that first kiss from Paul had ruined her sex life forever. No one else had come close to capturing her heart and she used school as an excuse to exclude the possibility of a romantic relationship.

  “Where did the time go?” Uncle Bill said on the other end of the phone. “Seems like decades since we last saw you. I’m so happy you and Sam will be coming to Boston for Thanksgiving. Paul too. It’ll be good to see him again. I’m just marveling at how time has flown, and how quickly you finished college. Your parents would have been proud—a teaching degree
in five years. Unheard of.” Elizabeth could hear the delight in her uncle’s voice.

  “I know. I can hardly believe it myself!”

  “What’s next for you, Dear Girl, now that you’ve graduated? I’m sorry we couldn’t make it to the ceremony, but it just wasn’t in our budget to fly the family to California. This trio of teenagers is expensive.” Uncle Bill had nothing but admiration for his niece who had overcome so much in her young life.

  “I understand, Uncle Bill. The roses you sent were gorgeous, and I nursed them for at least three weeks. I got a paid internship at a small private elementary school in Santa Monica. I’ll put my teaching degree to use right away. I’ll have to move, though. It’s more expensive, but closer to the beach. I’ll have a little less space, but I’m excited. I’m tired of the heat and smog in the Valley anyway.”

  Elizabeth heard a chorus of voices in the background, disrupting their conversation, “We miss you!! Can’t wait for you to get here!!!” In unison, unmistakable, Tina and Laura squealed into the mouthpiece.

  She could picture what they looked like now, almost eighteen years old and all grown up. Tina with a short bob, and Laura with a shaggy feathered layered look. Both blonde, they were identical to one another except for a half-inch that Tina always joked made her tower over her twin sister. They were both full of energy, bright and happy. Elizabeth missed them every day, and if it not for the letters and pictures that flew back and forth between them weekly, she would have missed their childhoods completely.

  “Oh, you guys! You sound great. Be there the day before Thanksgiving, and we’ll be staying until Sunday. Let’s get the tree decorated before I leave. Too much time between visits. Can’t wait to see everyone!”

  “Bring your boots! We’ve had a lot of snow already,” squealed Laura.

  Elizabeth felt a smile flash across her face as she hung up the phone. Never thought I’d ever look forward to freezing temperatures and snow. I can’t wait.

  )

  Linda and Sam took their seats in the middle of the plane, while Paul and Elizabeth grabbed the bulkhead, making their trip much more comfortable. Though never uneasy in each other’s company, it had been a long time since they’d danced in Westwood Village, never moving past their brief kiss that night. Elizabeth felt a little twinge when Paul brushed up against her arm as he heaved his duffle bag into the overhead compartment of the plane.

  “There. Done. Barely fit.” Paul grinned at Elizabeth, then promptly plopped down beside her, gave her a bear hug, and pulled a paperback novel from the back pocket of his wide-whaled, tan cords.

  Elizabeth noticed everything about Paul today, so handsome in his navy-blue V-neck sweater with a plain white T-shirt underneath. His hair was neatly combed and parted on one side, and his kind eyes sparkled when he spoke. Even the timbre of his voice was soothing, calm, and familiar. She thought how nice it was just to see him well and apparently getting over some of his anxieties, though she hadn’t lived with him for some time and seldom asked Sam for updates on their friend. For now, she would believe he had conquered his demons and this would be the best Thanksgiving for any of them in a long time.

  )

  By the end of the weekend everyone had caught up on the comings and goings of three eighteen-year-olds under one roof and had learned about Elizabeth’s new job. A wedding date was set for Sam and Linda, and all agreed they would travel to LA in the spring to see the happy couple wed. Life was moving forward after all. Paul and Elizabeth were the talk of the family, who all sensed there was something between them, but they vehemently swore there was not. “We’re just friends,” they both insisted.

  Sam and Linda chose to stay a few more days in Boston. She wanted to find her wedding gown on the East coast. The twins and Aunt Deborah were excited to accompany her, and Linda’s mother, who lived an hour away in Providence, Rhode Island, made last-minute plans to join them for a few days.

  “I wish I could stay longer and help you find your wedding dress,” Elizabeth complained to Linda. “That’s the best part of planning the wedding. Darn, if only I didn’t have to get back to work so soon.”

  Paul overheard the conversation and added, “Hey, I have to get back to work, too. I’ve used up all my vacation time, but at least you’ll have a traveling companion.” He gave Elizabeth an unexpected squeeze around her waist. Annoyed, she wondered why he would do that, knowing it would certainly be gossip fodder for the family once they left. She had halted her daydreams years before about sharing a life with Paul and kept her thoughts to herself. Hadn’t Paul done the same? It was as though that kiss, that brief moment in time, never happened.

  )

  Arriving at the airport early, they checked their bags at the counter, got their boarding passes, and took their time walking to the departure gate. “I’m going to get a couple of magazines for the trip.” Paul made sure Elizabeth was settled with their carry-on luggage before he returned to the newsstand they passed on their way to the gate. “Do you want anything?”

  “No, I’m fine. I’ll just wait here with our stuff till you get back.”

  Before Paul was ten feet down the corridor, an announcement blared. “Flight number thirty-four seventy-eight with service to Los Angeles has been delayed. Your new departure time is nine p.m. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause our valued passengers.”

  Out loud, Elizabeth groaned, “Oh no! That’s a three-hour delay! I’ll be useless at work tomorrow.” She looked around her and noticed other passengers mumbling the same sentiments.

  Hearing the announcement, Paul made a swift return back to Elizabeth. “At least there’s a three-hour time difference and we’ll be back in LA before the sun comes up.” He grabbed his duffle bag with one hand and offered Elizabeth his free arm. They started toward the long line of restaurants and bars, all good ways to pass the time for hungry, weary travelers. Paul suddenly stopped and turned to her.

  “Would you like to go on a date with me? An official date?”

  Elizabeth was confused. This can’t be happening to me now. I know the difference between a date and a cup of coffee at the corner diner. Is this where it starts? Elizabeth attempted to keep her excitement under wraps, but stammered, “Like when we get back to LA? I think so, yeah, that sounds nice.”

  “Nope, like right now. We have three hours to spend together, and I would like to treat you to the finest restaurant in Logan International Airport. Call it a date, call it whatever you want, but I’m seizing this opportunity to spend a few quiet hours alone with you.” He smiled ever so slightly as he waited for Elizabeth to respond.

  The ticking seconds felt like hours as she mulled over the objections in her head and rationalized why it wasn’t a good idea. It sounded like Paul had more than coffee on his mind, and she could make up a dozen reasons why she should say no. But a sudden burst of courage gripped her heart.

  “I accept,” Elizabeth said, and she felt instant relief that she had chosen to say yes. She felt protected and safe, and let Paul steer them into the comfort of a dimly lit airport steakhouse. As her heart began to flutter, she realized she wasn’t hungry. She reveled in Paul’s invitation, but decided not to read much more into it and let fate take its course.

  )

  Dozing beside each other, Paul and Elizabeth awakened as they heard the flight attendant make the announcement to fasten their seat belts. The lights in the cabin began to glow and interrupted their slumber. Elizabeth startled when she noticed she had fallen asleep with her head on Paul’s shoulder. The unexpected display of affection was unfamiliar to her, but Paul didn’t appear to mind. Gently nudging her he said, “We’re home.”

  They strained to peer out the window and take in the view of the city. Resplendent with lights, it looked more like a fairy tale than an over-populated metropolis. As the plane approached the gate, Paul leaned over and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Instead of startling Elizabeth, she took his hand while they waited for the doors to ope
n.

  )

  Paul pulled their carry-ons from the overhead compartment and Elizabeth followed close behind. Holiday travelers packed the terminal even though it was almost midnight, and she frowned when she glanced at her watch.

  “Ugh, it’s three a.m. in Boston. I didn’t think I would be this tired. I don’t know how I’m going to make it to work in eight hours. I must look awful.” Elizabeth hoped she could sneak into the nearest ladies’ room before Paul noticed her weary eyes, disheveled hair, and dry lips.

  “Actually, you’re beautiful. I don’t know how you manage it, but the older you get, the prettier you become.”

  “I never knew you were such a sweet talker, Paul.” Elizabeth couldn’t stop blushing. Paul let her wrap her arm inside his, linking elbows on the way to the baggage claim. Elizabeth hoped this moment would never end and savored every second.

  Her thoughts were interrupted when Paul turned to her. “No disrespect intended, but would you consider spending the night with me tonight? Could you call in sick tomorrow?” He couldn’t help but wonder if he had misread cues, if his heart was ready to take the plunge. This deep dive could end in rejection and he waited for her response.

  Elizabeth hesitated, but only for a moment. “Yes, I will, if you will,” and she gripped Paul’s arm even tighter as her heart skipped a beat. They got their suitcases and hailed a cab as soon as they got curbside. Paul turned to her, “Your place, or mine?”

  “Yours this time.” Elizabeth caught her breath, as they curled up together in the warm cab, ready to take them home.

  )

  The morning crept up on them too soon, and Elizabeth jumped to her feet when she realized the time. Almost seven o’clock, she grabbed the phone and quickly dialed work. It was not like her to lie or bend the truth, but she decided her night with Paul was well worth any reprimand she might have to endure. As it turned out, the secretary accepted her excuse of the long delay at the airport and told her they would see her the next day. Too easy, she thought. I better not make a habit of this.