A Shade of Innocence (The Illuminati Book 1)

by Jane West

  “When it is necessary, yes,” Annoyance rose from his tone. “Shall we move to the next question?”

  That single comment set alarm bells ringing. “You're not going to hurt me are you,” I blurted out.

  His dark brows shot up, surprised. “No. You have nothing to fear from me.”

  “You are always on my tail whenever I get myself into a fix. How is that possible?” I knew I was poking him. I saw it in his tense shoulders. He was uncomfortable with my questions, yet I couldn't stop myself.

  “You should leave it alone.” His expression darkened with an unreadable emotion.

  “You mean I should leave you alone?” Strange and disquieting thoughts began to race through my mind.

  “Some things may interest you, but it is not worth its hand of fate.”

  “Fate?”

  He sighed, irritated, “Meaning death.”

  “Oh!” My breath seemed to have solidified in my throat.

  Bane reclined back in his seat, studying me with his piercing blues. His hands clasped over his chest. “You ask a fair amount of questions.”

  “It's a bad habit of mine.”

  “Yes, I'm finding that out.”

  “You know, this conversation is tiring. Bye Felicia!” I tossed him a razor-sharp glare, unsnapped my seatbelt and fled from the car.

  At that point, I didn't care if I was clueless as to how to get back to my car. I had to leave before I lost my mind. My dad use to say, a man without secrets had nothing to hide. I suspected as tight lipped as Bane was he must have a fleet of secrets.

  I darted off with fright in my back pocket, but before I'd cleared the car, Bane had beaten me to the punch. With his arms folded across his chest in a dark stance, he stood, blocking me.

  I screamed out, startled. “Shit!”

  “Don't make me chase you.” A sudden thin chill hung on the edge of his words.

  Pivoting on my heels, I darted off in the opposite direction, but before my feet took flight, I collided into his chest. Bane was fast. Inhumanly fast.

  “I want to leave!” I attempted to pass him, but he sidestepped my move. I tried the opposite side and then once more, he blocked me as if he knew my thoughts before I did. I blinked, stunned. “What do you want from me?”

  He gathered a loose curl in his fingers that had fallen on my face and brushed it behind my ear. “I'm sorry. I'm not trying to frighten you.” The earnest in his blues confused me.

  “You must want something or else you'd leave me alone?”

  “I want nothing,” he whispered.

  “Then why are you holding me against my will,” I spat.

  Bane reached to caress my check, but I flinched from his touch. He inhaled a deep sigh and dropped his hand to his side. “I don't mean to mislead you.” His face was bleak with sorrow. “In my world, life doesn't afford choices. I do what I do because I am expected to. It is like breathing. I have no other option other than death.”

  “You talk in riddles. Can you just say what's on your mind?”

  His flat, unspeaking eyes prolonged the moment and then he revealed his truth. “I don't care for your company.”

  I hated to admit it but his admission bit. “Why? Because I'm not good enough to hang in your circle? After all, I am the pathetic bike girl.”

  He tipped his head upward to the sky, releasing a frustrated sigh. Then he focused back to me. “My aversion toward you has nothing to do with you. Yet it has everything.”

  “That makes no sense to me at all.” I inhaled an exasperating sigh. “If I bother you so much then why do you keep coming around?”

  “It doesn't matter.”

  I scoffed. “It matters to me!”

  “Regardless of how hard I try,” he paused as if he was struggling internally, “We are connected.”

  “That's your hormones talking, asshat,” I screamed. “Take me home! I never want to see you again.” I crossed my arms.

  “This between us isn't that simple,” he spoke defensively. “I've been fighting its lure, and I am failing. And,” he gritted his teeth. “I never fail at anything!”

  “I'm sorry, am I supposed to feel pity for you?”

  His lips tightened. “Perhaps if I show you, you will understand.” In the next blink, he tossed his shirt off to the ground and jerked my hand roughly to his bare chest, pressing my palm against a warm patch of hair and then he placed my other hand just under my shirt over my heart. “Listen,” he growled.

  Instantly, I flinched, trying to free my hand, but his ironclad grip overpowered me.

  I glared at him, forced to comply.

  Time had passed several seconds before he interjected. “Do you feel it?”

  I gasped. His heart was beating as erratically as mine, but simultaneously as in singular. Startled, I pulled away. “This is crazy!” I cradled my hand as if injured.

  Bane's voice softened to a mere whisper, “Have you ever felt this alive before?”

  “No,” I answered, shocked. Then a little weirded out, I recanted, “I don't know!” I weaved my fingers through my hair. “How could this be possible,” I snapped, “And this is your reason why you can't stay away?”

  “Yes.” His vexation was evident.

  “You don't like me because of this,” I glared at him, “But, you'd sleep with me?”

  “At times you do have your redeeming qualities.” The glint of humor flickered but quickly extinguished in his blues. “I don't want to hurt you. I'm not the kind of man that settles down with one woman. I never have and I never will regardless of how much I want you in my bed. I will never make you happy. I don't foresee a future for us together.”

  “Oh, I don't know; the day is still young,” I popped off. “You're really a douche!”

  “Name calling isn't polite, Love.”

  “Go screw yourself!” I turned my back to him. Deep sobs racked my insides.

  “Look! I don't like it any more than you do.”

  “I'm sorry,” I tossed over my shoulder, “I don't recall the ball and chain tethered to your ankles.”

  “Look at me, please.” Did I hear Bane plead? “Look at me!” His voice appeared gentle, yet demanding.

  When I wouldn't comply, he grabbed my chin and forced me to face him. “You're better off not knowing me.” Unexpectedly, his blues softened. “I'd rather hurt your feelings than ruin your life. You should have a normal life, marry a nice boy.”

  “I don't understand! You've been pursuing me! Only a hot minute ago you were coming on to me.”

  “I'm a guy. What can I say?” He threw up his hands, half-shrugging.

  “I'm done with this conversation.” I flashed him a dark smothering look and spun on my heels. “I'm walking back.”

  I didn't get far before his iron fingers dug into my arm.

  “Let go of me. You're hurting me!”

  Ignoring my request, he reclaimed my lips, crushing me to him. His kisses were like the soldering heat that joined metals.

  At first, I resisted, still pissed and hurt. Yet he was a master at getting what he wanted, and I was too weak to fight.

  When he stopped, he released me with a jolt. I stepped back, wiping away his kiss with the back of my hand.

  “I can't deny that I want you. You're in my head, my blood, even my soul,” he slightly panted, “But we both know this will end badly.” His eyes saddened, “For you, especially.”

  “That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard.” I threw the words at him like stones. “You don't care about my welfare. The real reason is that I'm an embarrassment to you because my family is poor.”

  Bane's lips tightened. “That's not what I said!”

  “Isn't it? That's what you mean, Aidan. Come on be a man and tell me the real reason why?”

  He stood there blank faced. He couldn't even give me the courtesy to admit the truth.

  “I want to go home!” Fury almost choked me.

  “Very well, I think you're composed enough now for us to return.” He glowe
red at me and turned away.

  Bane pulled up in the school's parking lot and stopped beside my car. I got the impression by the stone line in his jaw he was more than ready to dispose of me.

  I dithered a short minute, not daring to gaze into his blues. I held my eyes straight ahead, as I spoke. “Thanks for helping me.”

  “Get some rest.” His voice was strangely tender, “And stay out of trouble.” The tip of his upper lip promised a smile, but the glint in his blues proposed antipathy.

  “I can't make any promises. After all, I am a wayward teenager.” I added with a slight smile of defiance.

  There was a pale blue lightning of amusement between his sooty lashes. “My Princess, you are many things. However, wayward is not one.”

  Our eyes locked for an instant. There was a spark of indefinable pain in his eyes. It puzzled me.

  Then the magic vanished as he withdrew a sharp breath and looked away.

  I had feelings for Bane, a longing that I could no longer deny. I opened the door and slid out, shutting the door behind me.

  School had let out long ago. My car was the only one left in the parking lot. I got into my car, cranked it up and sped away. I glanced in my rearview mirror. Bane hadn't left. He sat idled in his car. It was not until I left the parking lot that he'd sped off in the opposite direction. I wanted to forget him. The problem was—my heart had a will of its own.

  Shortly after, I'd pulled up into my driveway. Once I entered the house, not bothering to flip the light switch, I crumbled to my knees, sobbing in darkness. “Damn him and my life,” I wept. “Why does life have to be so difficult? Why do I have to like a boy who hates me?” I pounded the floor with my fist. His words rushed through my mind, and the intensity of pain clung to my chest. All lies. Including his stupid theory, our hearts in sync my ass! Yeah, right! “Where's the ocean front property in Arizona?” I know the real reason he hated me. I didn't belong in his world, a high society world where people like me didn't fit.

  After several moments of having a full-blown meltdown, my breathing eased as I let the quiet of the house soak into my weary bones and frayed mind. I stretched out on the cool floor. Usually, I embraced the silence. This evening felt different. I thought about calling Jen and decided against it. I didn't feel up to the challenge, and my head pounded from a headache far too severe to harp on Bane.

  I had other worries that were more important. Something strange was going on with me that had me rattled. For example, Bane claimed that I had a panic attack. Strangely, I didn't remember it. In fact, the last thing I recalled before waking up in his car was talking to Sam at my locker. Weird! Everything else after that I drew a blank. Maybe this all stemmed from my head injury. Crap! That was a scary thought—amnesia.

  There was one thing I agreed with Bane about, and that I needed to steer clear of him. He needn't worry. I got that memo.

  Man-in-Black

  Bright and early my alarm went off at 5 a.m. I realized I'd forgotten that I no longer delivered papers. I huffed and slammed the snooze button. I rolled on my back, staring at the ceiling. The room was as dark as the house was quiet.

  I always tried to look at the silver lining. As dim as things seemed, I had my car back, up and running. Good as that may be, I didn't want to face the day. I didn't want to face school, Sara, and especially Bane.

  I was chomping at the bit whether or not I should go to school today, but then again, I'd missed so much lately. My grades were going to reflect my neglect too. I couldn't let that happen. I'd worked too hard to throw in the towel now. I blew out a puff of ireful breath.

  I rolled out of bed and proceeded to get ready for school.

  By the time I reached Tangi High, there were only a couple of cars in the parking lot. I was early. “Oh, yeah,” I mumbled sarcastically. I reached from the back seat and snatched up my book bag. It was a pleasant morning, rather on the warm side. Louisiana's weather was crazy like that. I decided to sit underneath the oak tree and catch up on schoolwork that I'd been postponing.

  I shrugged my coat off, spreading it out flat on the damp grass and popped a squat. I eased a breath, lifting my eyes up through the branches of the tree. Fall had set, and the leaves had changed to a gold and bright orange. I loved this time of the year. I closed my eyes for a minute, letting the sun's warmth caress my face.

  Then with regret, I cracked open my math book and proceeded to do my assigned lesson, calculus.

  With a little determination and work, I knew I'd catch up. Besides, schoolwork would be a good distraction, keeping my mind off certain people that I preferred to forget.

  Suddenly, I heard the sound of crunching grass. I snapped my head up and spied Jen making her way to me. Instantly, I smiled. Jen's friendship meant a lot to me. “Hey! You're early too.” I smiled wide.

  “I saw you and thought I'd join you.”

  “Sure! Have a seat.” I patted the empty side of my coat.

  Jen crossed her legs and flopped to the ground. “How's your head. You're looking good!” she asked.

  “I'm better.” I shrugged.

  “I missed you yesterday. I thought I saw you drive up in your car, but at lunch, I didn't see you.”

  “Yeah, I was here for first class.” I swallowed. I trusted Jen almost as much as I trusted Ms. Noel. I knew my secret, cutting class yesterday, wouldn't go any further than between us. Unlike others, Jen knew how to keep a secret. “I had to leave. I had a panic attack.”

  “OMG! Did you go to the nurse's office?”

  I shook my head. “No. I ran to my car, and that's when Bane found me huddled on the ground.” A knot in my stomach tightened saying his name.

  “Wow! He was your knight in shining armor.”

  I burst into laughter. “Jen, you are a hopeless romantic, but you couldn't be further from the truth.”

  “I can't help it!” She laughed with me.

  Then the subject changed to a more serious tone. “I've been thinking about you lately. There's something I'm curious about.” Jen paused. “How exactly did you hurt yourself?”

  “I slipped on baby oil. Why?”

  Jen's face suggested skepticism. “Aidan Bane found you, right?”

  “Yeah, why,” I asked.

  “Where did he say he found you?” She pulled a grass blade up and fiddled with it.

  I didn't understand why all the questions but I reckoned Jen had her reasons. “He never said.” Saying that out loud sounded odd.

  “I don't want you to get mad at me, but I have reason to believe that Aidan Bane might not be telling the truth.” There was a pensive shimmer in the shadow of her eyes.

  All of a sudden, an eerie feeling crept down my spine. “What do you know that you're not telling me?” I tossed my book over to the side.

  She glanced uneasily over her shoulder and turned back to me. She spoke in a low voice. “This morning I went to the gym. I wanted to get some hoops in before class. I went to the closet to get a ball. Strangely, I found the door locked. When I turned to leave, my eyes caught a strange substance on the floor. For some reason it made me think of you.” She paused pulling another blade of grass. “At first, I thought it was red paint. I pulled out a quarter from my pocket and scraped at it. The tiny flakes were soft, crumbling into a powdery substance, unlike dried paint chips.” She bit her lip pausing, her eyes worrisome. I'm not a forensic pathologist, but it looked like blood. There's a trail of it going underneath the door.” Jen blew out a ragged sigh. “I think if we saw whatever is behind the door, we might find out what happened to you.” A shallow streak of alarm touched Jen's face.

  “Let's go check it out.”

  “Come on!” She bounced to her feet. “We don't have much time. We have to hurry.”

  “Lead the way.” I rushed to my feet, quickly stuffing my books back in my book bag and shouldering it.

  I followed Jen to the gym. We went straight to the closet. “Keep a look out for me.” Her eyes combed over the gym and down the hall.


  “Okay,” I whispered. I stood at the entrance, scouting for anyone approaching.

  We had only a small window of time to investigate Jen's theory before the halls became flooded with students. I stood biting my nails as the seconds ticked, fearing we'd get caught.

  Jen pulled out from her pocket a bobby pin. Like a thief on a heist, she twisted the metal into a thin straight piece of wire. I watched, holding my breath as she picked the lock. After a second, I heard a click. Jen pulled back with a smile stretched across her face. She jiggled the doorknob and opened the door. “Come on! We gotta be quick,” she whispered, waving her hand, frantically.

  I leaped to her side, gaping at her in awe. “How did you learn to do that?”

  An impish grin overtook her features. “An old boyfriend taught me.”

  “That's a handy skill you got there.”

  “Come on! Before anyone sees us,” she urged.

  In a fraction of a second, we both were standing in the center of the closet.

  Without warning, blurred visions churned inside my head. I froze, my lungs squeezed. My feet wouldn't allow me to go any farther. I spun on my heels to leave, but Jen touched my shoulder bringing me back. “You're okay! I promise,” she consoled me.

  I nodded, teeth on edge, giving her the go-ahead.

  Jen took my hand and led me to the locker area. “It looks like someone took a sledgehammer and went crazy.” Jen paused as I stepped up to the pummeled locker that outlined the shape of a body. I touched it with my fingers, tracing the cold metal laced in a dark crimson down to the floor. Jen asked, “Does this look like you slipped on baby oil?”

  My eyes slowly combed the closet. I couldn't believe my eyes. The only word that came to mind was malevolence.

  The most disturbing of all was the huge cavity on the floor, the perfect size for a head, possibly mine. My stomach roiled as I gaped at the wine-red in and around the crater.

  “Jen, do you think someone attacked me,” I gasped. “Bane said I slipped—” The second those words left my lips, I knew he'd lied, but why?

  As if I'd fallen through space, memories torpedoed my mind, flashes of a violent altercation. The visions rushed, forcing its way into my brain. Holy, shit! I remembered! Down to the last detail. As if I'd plunged into reverse, my mind spiraled into a whirlwind. I was a child at our old farmhouse back in Oklahoma. No more than eight, scared, sitting on the top of the staircase, listening. The voices sounded angry.