Lia's files 1_Presumed extinct

by Kathrin Kilambya

  It made Alice cry too. She couldn’t handle Mum being so sad and she tried to say some comforting words.

  “Mummy, don’t cry. We are all right here, you know. We have prepared everything as Uncle Phil and Dad said. We are going to camp down in the sub-basement. We already slept there one night and it was funny. I wasn’t scared, not a bit. I share a bed with Lia these days, you know, so I can sleep very well …” She rattled on like this for a while. We let her, it was good for her to talk with Mum.

  And, who knew how many more times we would be able to talk with them.

  Mum was not consoled so easily, though.

  “Children, I feel so guilty,” she exclaimed. “How can it be that we are separated? Why didn’t you say anything when we were calling from Berlin?”

  “We told you about Dad’s call, Mum!” Nin answered somewhat angrily. “We told you, but you said you didn’t believe him.”

  He paused, shot me a glance and then added. “And we think that you did the right thing. To travel to Canada that is. Nate’s father needed you more than we did at the time. And now things will happen as they will. We have everything under control here, Mum. You needn’t worry, really!”

  “Nin is right, Corrie,” Yuki added. “We’ll be alright! We had ample time to prepare. Uncle Phil, Ethan, Josh, all of them gave us good and viable advice and we could prepare for ever contingency. You really needn’t worry, Corrie. We’ll be alright, really.”

  “Lia,” Nate inquired, “Is this true? Were you able to get all supplies, gear, equipment and everything you’ll need? Did you think of really everything? Have you got medicine, fuel, enough water, food? Ah! Just to think of it makes me sick with worry! How can you know what you have to do?”

  His voice, usually calm and supportive, sounded oddly off, emotional to the point of breaking.

  I didn’t like it. There was no need for them to worry. Nothing they said now, would or could change a thing. We had to accept the fact that we would be separated until we’d meet again at Blue-Hill-Farm or never.

  “Yes, we did, Nate,” I assured him. “Nothing to worry. Like everyone already said. We are prepared and have taken care of everything. You know that we would all like to be together with you now. We miss you very much. But we are very glad, more than you can imagine, that you are safely over there with Uncle Phil and Auntie Kamene! That way you, Mum and the twins are safe, as safe as any of us can be these days! This is one big relief for us. We’ll be alright here! Don’t you worry. We have everything we need and probably more than enough. And Mum, Alice is safe with us; we are looking after her. Maybe not as well as you would, but as best as we can. Nothing will happen to her. I would never let anything happen to her, you know that! I promise!”

  “Ah, Lia, I know that Alice is as safe with you as she ever could be. I know that. It’s just that I can hardly bear the thought of what might happen to you all,” her voice trembled. “I can still hardly believe what Phil told us. Had it not been for Kamene and a call from Josh I would never have been convinced that this global crisis is imminent. Now that part of my brain has accepted that they are probably right, I am torn with grief that I can’t be with you! You know that I love you all so much! Alice, my little darling, I am missing you so much! To think that I won’t be able to see you for several months, without knowing how you are…,” her voice broke and we could hear her sob.

  And for Alice this proved to be all too much now, too. She started wailing and crying, totally distressed by Mum’s crying and words. Yuki took her in her arms and rocked her gently while Nin started talking about our trip yesterday, in a very transparent attempt at distracting Mum and Alice.

  “You know, Uncle Phil, what Lia suggested yesterday?” he suddenly exclaimed. “She wants me to check our car for tracking devices that might have been put there, so she claims, by some of these Nemesis idiots.”

  He laughed out loud; too loud to fool anyone into thinking he might actually find this funny.

  Shoot! He really had a knack of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. This might just be the thing to worry Mum even more!

  And sure enough, Mum had a real crisis now and had to be lead away by Auntie Kamene.

  Yuki angrily rolled her eyes at Nin and punched him in the side. He winced and at the same time tried to appease her, which looked a bit silly and made us all laugh, genuinely and heartily, even Alice.

  “Idiot!” I whispered. “How can you mention something like this to Mum? It’ll worry her to pieces! And all for nothing!”

  It felt funny. We were distressed, yes, of course, but more because of being separated from our loved ones than because of being alone here. The looming danger didn’t bother me, not then and there. I thought about it almost nonchalantly. I wanted Mum and Nate, the twin, Uncle Phil and Auntie Kamene to be safe, to reach Kenya soon and safely. But I wasn’t really worried about us. We’d be alright. We had the sub-basement.

  Of course, there was still Steve and his cronies. But him I could deal with, and I was sure that we would be just fine, once we’d be cut off from the outside world.

  It was this situation here, hearing the anguish and sorrow in Mums’, Nate’s, Uncle Phil’s and Aunt Kamene’s voices without being able to do much; wanting them to be safe and knowing that they would never understand that we were okay; knowing how Mum would be depressed for weeks on end now. All this distressed me more than the actual separation from them.

  I could see that Yuki had difficulties knowing what to say or do. She still gently rocked Alice who looked quite comforted now.

  Suddenly, I wanted this talk to be over.

  But first I needed to know something. “Did you manage to persuade some of your family, Nate, to stay with you and to travel on Uncle Phil’s boat?”

  “My parents are adamant that their place is here in Canada.” He answered in a sad voice.

  “They have a cabin up North in the bush, remember, and they will go there. My Dad is doing a lot better by now, the doctors say he might make a full recovery and it will do him very good to spend some days in the wilderness.” He paused and took a deep breath. “It’s very difficult for me to let them go, knowing that we might never see each other again. But they don’t want to leave their home, the country they love and have spent their entire lives in. A decision which I have to respect no matter how painful it is for me. My brother and his wife, though, will be joining us tomorrow morning. They are heading up here right now and will drive through the night to make it here early in the morning. Phil urged them to hurry and when we last spoke with them they said they might make it by 3 o’clock in the morning. I am very, very glad that they have decided to come to Phil and Kamene, very glad indeed!”

  That was good news indeed! We all beamed at each other. Nate’s younger brother Mike and his wife Doreen would be joining them! Nate would not have to leave behind all his family! Very good, indeed!

  “And we are very impressed with Phil’s boat. It’s amazing, like a little swimming fortress! Everything in place. We’re equipped to the teeth, so to say. It feels really safe! We are very glad to have come here, especially also because of Ben and David. It’s you we worry about now! But if you had Phil’s and Ethan’s guidance in preparing I am sure that you have everything you’ll need. But do take good care of yourselves! Promise! I love you all. But, ah, this is really too difficult …,” his voice broke.

  We looked at each other, shocked and touched by the urgency in Nate’s otherwise calm and reassuring voice,

  But it was now Uncle Phil’s time to take over and ask questions. His first one was, of course, about others and the wider picture.

  “Yuki, did you get to call your parents by now? You promised you would?”

  She looked guilty, but it was Nin who replied in her stead. “No. Not yet. Yesterday we had no chance. We’ll do this today. Soon. First we’ll have to call Josh and Dad. They have left the same frantic messages as did you. But after that we’ll call her parents. That’s a promise, sir!”


  “Good! It’s important that you do this today. I am not sure that it will still be possible tomorrow! And listen, children! I am not sure but Ethan and Josh got information that suggests we might have to go underground already tomorrow! Don’t venture outside anymore and sleep in the sub-basement from now onward! Once they release the pathogen, from all Josh and your Dad learned, it will take about seven to ten days for it to dissipate and become ineffective. So, ten days you shouldn’t move outside whatever the reason! Absolutely not! Under no circumstances! Do you understand? It would, in fact, be better if you stayed underground for at least two weeks.”

  He paused and Auntie Kamene chipped in, “Alice, Yuki, Ninian and Lia, do take good care of yourselves and know that we love you all very, very much. Our thoughts will be with you and we long for the day when we’ll be able to embrace you all. Be safe and be careful. I love you all!”

  Mum and Nate added their goodbyes and messages of love, we told them to be safe and how much we loved them.

  Then, as we just wanted to cut the connection, Uncle Phil said, he wanted to talk to me alone, again. Nin looked at me suspiciously, but Yuki nodded, lifted Alice from her lap, took her by the hand and they all left the room and closed the door.

  I didn’t like this one bit and said as much, “I am alone now, Uncle Phil, what is it that you want to discuss with me? You know, this isn’t good, this talking with me separately. It makes the others, especially Nin, feel left out, less important or trustworthy. I don’t like it! Why can’t we talk when everyone is present?”

  “Cut the crap, girl, and tell me what’s happening over there. Have you been threatened or followed? What happened that makes you look for tracking devices in the car? Tell me!” His voice sounded very sincere now, almost harsh.

  I should have known he wouldn’t let this pass. Stupid of Nin to have mentioned it!

  But I wasn’t going to tell him about Steve, or the threat by this guy at the book shop, or the reason why it was vital to find out whether there was a tracking device or not. It would just worry him and complicate things. And it might make me waver in my decision to carry out my plans. So, I tried to keep my voice as level and nonchalant as possible – and I lied.

  “There’s nothing! You know me! Just going overboard a bit with checking and double-checking. Just a bit over-suspicious, like you always are. I was just wondering, because I am convinced that you, Dad, Professor Papadopoulos and Josh must be watched by these Nemesis guys. You can’t convince me otherwise. And, if they keep you under surveillance, they ought to do the same with us, oughtn’t they? It’s the only thing that makes sense!”

  I was talking too fast and too much, but I couldn’t help myself. Hopefully Uncle Phil wouldn’t insist too much. Nice try, though.

  “Yes, and I know you, my girl! Out with it! Let me hear the whole boiling mess. You would never mention such a thing to your over trusting and transparent-as-glass brother if you weren’t up to something! Tell me, girl! This is not the time to keep secrets!”

  He was very insistent. And the idea of telling him all, asking his advice, handing the responsibility over into his competent hands was so overwhelmingly appealing that it almost made me relent.

  But it was too dangerous.

  I gritted my teeth and held my ground.

  “Really. You are getting it all backwards! It was a matter of precaution, nothing else. Don’t worry. We are as safe as it gets. It’s Josh that I worry about. To think that he will travel across from England alone within a few weeks worries me very much.”

  “Lia, I am not as easily bamboozled as anyone else and I demand of you that you tell me about what’s happened!” He sounded angry now.

  But I didn’t waver. I knew him after all. This was just his way of trying to urge me into telling him all! No way would I comply, not now that I had gotten over the first shock and temptation!

  “Uncle Phil, really, there’s nothing to worry about. Please, I’ll do my utmost to keep them safe! You can count on me. We’ll make it to Blue-Hill-Farm, rest assured. Please take care of yourselves! But I must go now! We still have to call Dad, Josh and, most importantly, Yuki’s parents.”

  He wasn’t convinced by my words and told me so. But he also knew me well enough to know that he wouldn’t be told anything. Not now.

  “Lia, please be careful! Whatever it is that you are up to, be careful! I know there is something you don’t want to tell me, you can’t fool me! But you obviously don’t want to tell me. Fine, I’ll go along for now. But bear in mind that Nin, Yuki and Alice and also Josh need you! They need you and they rely on your strength! Be careful and safe. Don’t act rashly or unwise, for your sake as well as theirs! Love you, Lia! Goodbye! We will try to contact you tomorrow, at the usual time. Good-bye!”

  With this he cut the connection and I was relieved but also felt like crying.

  I hated to keep him in the dark and I didn’t want to lie to him. It would have been such a relief to be able to share my knowledge and worries about Steve and his lot with him, but it would worry him, Mum, Kamene and Nate to bits.

  And they might mention it to Nin and Yuki, and then I wouldn’t be able to do what must be done.

  I hadn’t lied to Uncle Phil, really. Just minced words. Talked around the subject as much as I had to. But I didn’t like it, not by a long chalk.

  Finally I got up and went over to join the others in the main room.

  Nin looked angry, Yuki and Alice just questioningly.

  “I am sorry about this,” I said before any of them could say something. “Uncle Phil wanted to know about this tracking device of the car and then he gave me some last minute advice and instructions. He sends all his love and he’ll try to contact us again tomorrow at the usual time.”

  Nin looked unconvinced and upset.

  “Don’t look at me like that, Nin. I don’t know why he singled me out like that. And I told him it was a stupid idea and would only lead to tensions. Please, don’t be angry with me, it wasn’t my decision.”

  “Of course he isn’t angry at you, are you, Ninian?” Yuki asked sweetly but with a hint of steel in her voice.

  Nin looked over to her, first just quickly, but then, as she held his gaze, he took a second look, and his expression softened. He turned back to me, shrugged his shoulders and grinned apologetically at me.

  I smiled at him too, and the awkward moment passed.

  I was sure that he would be very, very angry with me later. Once he’d realize that Uncle Phil had been right about his suspicion, but I’d deal with that when it came up. For now, we were safe and, if not happy, at least content.

  “I want to call Dad now”, Alice chipped in. And this served to dissolve the awkward tension between Nin and me for good.

  We all trooped back to the fitness room and sat down in front of the satellite phone.

  This time I let Nin do all the dialling and sat back to let the others talk. I had no wish to talk with Dad.

  I still felt angry with him. Because he had left us, and Alice. Even though I knew that Mum was much happier with Nate than she had ever been with him. Angry because of his pushy ways. That he was always trying to get us do what he thought fit and due for his children.

  I was convinced, and nothing so far had proven me wrong, that he didn’t really care who we were, what we wanted, what we needed. He saw us only in the light of his vision of what he thought we should do and be. I respected him, no doubt about that, but it wasn’t love that I felt for him. He didn’t understand me, anyway; not like Uncle Phil did. But I respected him, this much I could say.

  Right now, though, I had no wish to talk to him. The talk with Uncle Phil had unsettled me too much.

  Alice was very happy to talk with Dad, though. Dad, too, wanted to know why we hadn’t been around yesterday. Nin explained.

  Silly of me, but somehow I felt that it served him right. After all, he had decided to stay in the States instead of coming to us when he could still have come, hadn’t he? That he was
worrying about us now was only his own fault. But this was a very stupid attitude, unfair and childish, I knew. Dad being Dad he could not have acted otherwise.

  And, we wouldn’t want him here anyway. He would drive us all crazy within 24 hours with his frantic behaviour. No way would I want to spend two to three months in the sub-basement with him! Sad as it was this was the truth. He wouldn’t know what to do, would be totally restless and make life really unbearable for the rest of us.

  He wouldn’t be of help to us, either. Rather, he would be more of a hindrance. If we were going to survive this all, and survive it intact and whole, we needed to be able to rely on each other, to trust each other, to take care of each other.

  Dad being Dad, he was always concerned more about his impact elsewhere in the big wide world, than about human relationships.

  And to be locked up together for several weeks wasn’t the place to test his emotional capabilities or deficiencies. Therefore, and to be honest, I was glad that he was where he was. Far away from us, full of good advice and intentions, but mostly far away from us. And, actually, come to think of it, I could therefore also allow myself to be a little friendlier than I had recently been, couldn’t I?

  Dad was giving Nin some last minute advice about the satellite phone while Alice was excitedly bouncing up and down on her chair. She wanted to tell him about yesterday, about the tobogganing, the fun we’ve had. Yuki was silently watching and from time to time glancing meaningfully at me. I ignored her knowing eyes and instead listened to what Nin, Alice and Dad were talking about.

  Then, Yuki’s phone rang. She glanced at it, and breathed, “My parents!” She hurriedly got up and answered the call while walking out of the room. I followed her after a quick glance at Nin who anxiously watched her and nodded to me to follow her. As she walked out of the room and up the stairs to the basement and the house I heard her say that they must wait a moment that she had to go upstairs where the connection would be better. We went upstairs in the living room and sat down on the sofa next to each other. She held on to my hands, very tightly, as if she needed support. I nodded at her encouragingly.