Lia's files 1_Presumed extinct

by Kathrin Kilambya

  She was crying now and I hugged her close.

  “I’ll be there for you and we’ll see this through, Yuki. We will!”

  With a gasp her crying turned to real, hard sobbing; all her pent up emotions and fears that she’d had to keep in check for the last days and weeks finally overcoming her.

  Nin and Alice appeared in the door, looking alarmed. I shook my head at Nin and motioned for them to leave us alone.

  Nin didn’t look happy, his face contorted in pain at the look of Yuki crying so hard. Clearly his foremost urge was to come over and comfort her, but after one more concerned look at her he didn’t. Instead he took Alice by the hand and they retreated together, shutting the door behind them.

  I let Yuki cry, she had to get these emotions out of her system. I felt guilty that I hadn’t been able to be there for her. And for Nin it must be torture right now, but Yuki was the first priority here.

  She sobbed into my lap.

  “I hated it, Lia. I hated it these last days and just wished for it to disappear. What a horrible person I am! I feel so terrible for thinking this! But I was so scared!! Nin!”

  She looked up, alarmed.

  “Nin must never know about this! Lia! Never!”

  “Of course not, silly.” I gently scolded her, still stroking her hair all the while. “I won’t breathe a word about this to him. Don’t you worry. And, Yuki, don’t feel bad about this! I am sure that many women experience the same feelings of uncertainty, even under a lot less demanding circumstances than you have to face. You have nothing to blame yourself for! Do you understand! Yuki, nothing at all! And I am not saying this just to appease your guilt, but because I mean it. I think it would be unnatural if you were relaxed about being pregnant in a situation such as this. Of course you are shit-scared, I am too. And, you don’t have to put up a brave face for me or Nin, Yuki. We can deal with it. We will never, never ever reproach you for how you feel. This won’t be easy. We all know about the risks of a pregnancy and of giving birth.”

  I could feel her tense up at these words and swore at myself for being too frank.

  “Don’t get me wrong, Yuki. I put it wrong. What I want you to know is that we are there for you. You will not walk through this alone. And, whatever feelings you have, they are okay.”

  “Even if I feel mad at Nin?” She whispered.

  That got me by surprise; but then again, it kind of made sense.

  “Even that, Yuki. After all, he’s got you into this, to put it in a very stupid way. So, I guess, it’s quite alright to feel a little mad at Nin, at times.”

  She sighed and relaxed; her eyes remained closed and her breathing came in gasps, after all the crying she’d done. I let her be, just kept on stroking her hair.

  It seemed to do her good for she murmured. “Thank you, Lia. I feel so much better now; like a mountain had been lifted from my soul. So much better.”

  Her voice trailed off and I realized that she was falling asleep.

  Her head in my lap she curled up on the sofa, relaxed and slowly drifted off to sleep.

  After some minutes, the door to the fitness room opened slowly and Nin and Alice peeped in. When Nin saw that Yuki was asleep, he looked at me questioningly. He was anxious as hell. I smiled at him reassuringly. It seemed to help him, because after a guilty and worried look at Yuki, Nin motioned for Alice to follow him back into the room.

  I don’t know how long Yuki slept, but eventually she stirred and opened her eyes. It took her a moment to take in where she was. Then she obviously remembered for she shot me a sheepish glance.

  “Did I sleep long, Lia?”

  “I don’t know, I just sat here, relieved that you could sleep. Feeling any better?”

  “Much, much better!”

  She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

  “In fact I am feeling great! Where are Nin and Alice?”

  “They are still in the fitness room. When you fell asleep they once came to check on us, but went back in there, not wanting to disturb you.”

  “Nin must feel horrible!” Yuki said with a guilty voice.

  “What I said about being mad at him, Lia, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

  She looked at me anxiously.

  “I love him, madly, and always will. Maybe I said too much before, but I needed to. And I know that you understand, you always do.”

  She sighed happily and stretched herself.

  “I am relieved to hear that you are feeling better. About Nin. You, you don’t really hate him, Yuki, do you?”

  She started to giggle at that and punched me in the side.

  “Really Lia! You have a lot to learn about love. Of course not! I love Nin more than I can imagine! But I still feel mad at him sometimes.”

  She looked at me and shook her head.

  “Honestly, Lia! You thought I wouldn’t want to be with Nin anymore? Or something the like? You really know nothing about love!”

  I was about to defend myself, but Nin and Alice had heard Yuki laugh, and trooped into the room now, eager to know what was going on.

  Nin had eyes for Yuki only; he was totally stressed out, desperate to make sure she was okay. She walked straight into his open arms, nestling her head in the hollow of his throat.

  “Everything okay?” He asked with a hoarse voice.

  “Nothing to worry, Nin.” She replied. “I am okay. Now. Just needed to talk a bit with Lia. Girl-talk, you know.”

  He wasn’t convinced. Relieved yes, but not convinced. But he obliged her.

  Meanwhile Alice demanded my attention, she had a story to tell me about how Piglet and Malinda had quarrelled over who would be talking with Mum, once Nin had the phone repaired.

  The Phone didn’t work?

  Yuki and I both turned to Nin for an answer.

  “I have been trying all afternoon now, but I can’t reach anyone,” he apologetically told us.

  “What could be the problem?” asked Yuki.

  “I don’t know for sure, but I have a nasty suspicion.” Was Nin’s ominous reply.

  “Meaning?” Yuki and I demanded in one voice.

  “Well, it’s kind of … Where shall I start? You know that this phone was secure from intrusion, but do you know why?”

  Of course we didn’t.

  “Well, Dad and Uncle Phil had sort of hijacked a high-security satellite of the NSA. Don’t ask me how they did it. Dad got very elusive when I tried to make him tell me. Anyway, because of this hacking feat we had a secure line. So far. Now it’s down. No matter what I try it won’t work and I know how to operate this phone in and out.”

  He paused to twist a strand of Yuki’s hair pensively around his fingers. Without looking at either one of us he continued. “I stopped trying when it dawned on me that the reason might be that the satellite is no more under control of the NSA, but the Nemesis.”

  Yuki gasped and Nin quickly added. “Maybe it’s not as bad as I thought. I simply don’t know.”

  “It won’t help to try to hope for the best. Let’s just have all the gory details, Nin.” I replied. “What are the consequences if that satellite has been taken over by the Nemesis? Does it just mean that we can’t access it anymore, or could they somehow detect our presence through it now? What do you think?”

  “Spot on as usual, aren’t you.” But Nin wasn’t smiling.

  “It’s really just guess-work. Nothing I can be sure of. But if they took control of that satellite they’d be idiots not to analyse what it is currently doing. And this means that they would very easily notice us.”

  He tried to be as matter-of-fact as possible. Alice looked confused; Yuki simply worried, I probably too. I motioned for Alice to sit next to me on the sofa and for Nin to go on.

  Nin and Yuki sat down opposite of Alice and me, with Nin trying to rest his arm over Yuki’s shoulders, but she wanted to see his face, so he contended himself with holding her hand.

  “How so? I mean, the NSA obviously never noticed anything before. Why should t
he Nemesis find out about us now?” Yuki wanted to know.

  “Because as long as you just operate the satellite you wouldn’t notice, but once you’d analyse what it actually does, because you had no idea and wanted to know, you would for sure stumble over it. I know that it sounds kind of funny. And I am not at all sure that it happened that way. It’s just a guess.”

  He was clearly upset and uncomfortable with all this uncertainty and guessing.

  “But an educated one, right?” I inquired. From how I knew Nin, he would never have voiced this suspicion had he not had serious and solid arguments to support it.

  “Yes!” Came his exasperated response. “Yes, I am pretty sure that this is what happened. Plus, Josh and Paul once talked just about that danger; but neither Dad nor Uncle Phil agreed. Paul thought it highly possible, whereas Josh just considered it a reasonable assumption, not more. But both thought that Dad and Uncle Phil were over-confident. I can’t really judge the whole thing, but the implications worry me a lot.”

  “Implications such as? Really Nin, do we have to worm every detail out of you.” Yuki gently nudged his hand. He caught her retreating fingers and lifted them to plant a kiss on her palm.

  “Sorry, love, I don’t mean to annoy you. It’s just that I am really hesitant to spring these news on you. After all the emotional turmoil you went through this afternoon.”

  She bent forward to kiss him.

  “I am alright, Nin, don’t worry. But now tell us what you think!”

  He rubbed his chin, still hesitating.

  “It’s really just a guess. But, what would you do if you were in their shoes and you’d just found out a way to triangulate the position of some of your worst critics and foes? And you know that Dad, Uncle Phil and Professor Papadopoulos are just that in the Nemesis’s eyes. After all, they have been trying to obstruct the plans of the Nemesis for many years and they are well-known to the Nemesis collective.”

  A sense of horror washed through me.

  “Do you mean to say that they might actively go after Dad, Uncle Phil and Professor Papadopoulos now? Can’t we warn them somehow? What can we do?”

  “Nothing, I am afraid.”

  Nin’s blunt answer came as a surprise. He wasn’t usually this direct. I looked at him, desperately in need of reassurance. For if he was right, all our loved ones were in acute danger! Mum! Uncle Phil! And Josh as well! JOSH! Please, not!

  Nin’s voice was almost harsh now.

  “There’s nothing we can do right now. We have to wait and see. And hope that nothing bad happens. I also think that we should reduce activities and especially our noise level to a minimum.”

  And finally I got what he’d been trying to say all along. Of course! We were in danger too! If they could find out about Dad, Uncle Phil and Professor Papadopoulos, they’d easily find us, too. And then they would come for us. For, why should they spare us? I wouldn’t if I were in their shoes. We were the perfect target. And if they should get hold of us, they could prompt everyone else into rash and fatal actions. It didn’t bear thinking about.

  “You mean that they might come after us again? Try to kill us?”

  Yuki’s voice sounded a bit panicky. And Alice looked totally stressed out at this.

  “Possibly.” Nin answered her while still eyeing me. We both understood the implications here, if Yuki didn’t yet. His eyes pleaded to remain silent about it and I silently nodded in agreement.

  “Oh, will this never end! Will we always fall from one crisis into the next! I can’t stand this anymore! All this upheaval and stress! Please, make it stop!”

  Yuki was on the brink of a collapse and I rushed over to her, but Nin had already enveloped her in his arms, holding her tight to his chest and murmuring soothing words into her hair. He had tears in his eyes, tears of rage.

  Feeling utterly helpless, I sat down next to Yuki, and Alice promptly climbed onto my lap. She didn’t understand half of what we’d just talked about, but she knew that something was up. And she needed support. I hugged her close and gave her a kiss. She was trying to be brave and I loved her for it. How I loved her!

  All the while, Panic surged up in me again. What could we do to fend off these people? Let me think! Think this through!

  “But Nin, maybe we are lucky. After all, Steve thinks we are elsewhere, probably on our way somewhere that he is desperately trying to guess. For all he knows, and by extension the Nemesis, we are not here. And, I think, he hasn’t a clue where we might have gone. I doubt that he will think of Kenya. He doesn’t know about Uncle Phil’s place in Kenya, we never told him; just that we went there frequently on expeditions or holidays. Nothing to make him think we could be on our way there.”

  While I spoke, the conviction grew stronger and stronger that I was right.

  “And if Steve, and therefore the Nemesis, think we aren’t here, they won’t come looking for us, right? It’s as simple as that.”

  Nin tentatively agreed.

  “I hope you are right and not just grasping at straws. But I guess the next forty-eight hours will be crucial.”

  “Why forty-eight hours?” Yuki wanted to know. She still hid her face in Nin’s chest but the sobbing had stopped.

  “Because I think that they will act fast. After all, they know that we know that our phone is down. And they can figure out that we might guess the reason. So if they want to get us they ought to act fast unless we escape.”

  “Do you think we should leave the sub-basement and search a shelter elsewhere?”

  I didn’t like the idea, but I wanted to hear Nin’s opinion nonetheless.

  “No, I think we should remain here. After all, and as you pointed out, they probably think we are not here. Plus, we have double protection here, the walls of the bomb-shelter plus the walls of the sub-basement. We are as safe down here as it gets. It’s Uncle Phil and Professor Papadopoulos I worry about.”

  “Will Mum and Nate get hurt?”

  Alice’s voice was frightened and thin. That she had to be afraid, to suffer all of this. I hated it all! If only! But it was useless.

  “I don’t think so, Alice.” Nin smiled at her. “You know how clever Uncle Phil is! I am sure he’ll be able to fend them off. He’s a master at the art of disguise. Probably they won’t be able to find his ship.”

  He didn’t mention Professor Papadopoulos, or Josh.

  Oh please, please, let them all be safe over in Cambridge!

  I wholly agree with Nin that Uncle Phil was probably as safe as anyone could be. But Josh and his friends? I had to close my eyes to hide the panic.

  “And Dad? What about Dad?” Alice wanted to know.

  “Oh, I don’t worry about Dad at all.” Came Nin’s confident answer. “We haven’t been able to communicate with him for several days. So, he’s the most unlikely of us all to be traced. Plus, he is smart. Maybe too prone to take unnecessary risks, but he sure knows how to look after himself. And, from all that we know, he is alone; which should be an asset in this case.”

  We all sat in silence, everyone lost in their thoughts, contemplating the implications.

  They were daunting.

  I kept rubbing Alice’s back, trying to suppress the panic rising in me at the thought of Josh and his friends. Nin still held Yuki in a tight embrace. We huddled on the sofa like a tiny nucleus of mutual love and support in an ocean of uncertainty.

  If Nin was right, and why shouldn’t he be, then something would happen, either way and soon. And, we wouldn’t know until much, much later whether our family and friends were safe. I shied away from the idea that we might never know what happened to them. Yes, Uncle Phil was a very, very clever man, and I wanted nothing more than Nin’s assessment to be true, but what if not? We would never know! While we still had the phone and could talk with everyone it had been scary, but bearable. Now! How were we to go on? We were utterly alone now! And I may never know what had happened to Josh!

  Stop it!

  To allow myself to think any furth
er along this line was nothing but self-destructive. And not helpful at all. Josh had to be safe. I couldn’t imagine him any different. Not after the few blissful hours of knowing that he loved me! So, I would pretend that that’s just what happened. He was okay and safe over there in Cambridge. And he and his friends would start their journey to reach us in about two weeks. And I would see him in about four weeks. That’s how it simply had to be.

  Anything else you’re not allowed to contemplate. Not for your sake, nor anyone else’s.

  And besides, first things first! And that was to make sure we were safe down here!

  Had we left any trace in the bomb-shelter that might give us away? I tried to visualize every step we had taken yesterday when we’d gone out there and unlocked the door. But try as I might, I couldn’t detect a mistake we’d made. And Nin had securely locked the door of the sub-basement.

  Nobody could find us down here.

  Forty-eight hours Nin thought.

  Within forty-eight hours we’d know.

  If they came, would we hear anything? Would they hear us? We really must keep as quiet as possible!

  Alice was very still on my lap, I couldn’t see her face, but the way her body tensed up every now and then, I gathered that she was crying, silently. Scared stiff by what Nin had said.

  I mustn’t allow this! It was hard enough for us grown-ups, but that she should suffer was unbearable. And, we mustn’t wallow in misery and anxiety. We had to keep active, we had to do something!

  “Tea!” I said. “Isn’t it time for tea and a little something to eat? Look, let’s be a bit optimistic, shall we?”

  Nin rolled his eyes at me. “Uh Lia, really! You and your damn solution to everything – ‘let’s have tea and eat something!’ – like that might help!”