Lia's files 1_Presumed extinct

by Kathrin Kilambya

  We would have to change our approach to almost everything we’d done. Nothing out there was as it had been. And it would never again be. Every aspect of daily life had changed: from how to get food and water to how to organize our days or how to move about outside. Now, we would need to be vigilant whenever we went outside because anything might happen. We couldn’t afford to trust anyone anymore out there. Whoever we would meet, we would from now onwards have to be very, very careful with, maybe even hostile. We would certainly have to prepare to defend our lives and maybe even face the eventuality that we might have to kill someone to protect ourselves.

  What a horrible thought!

  And we would have to teach Alice to be distrustful toward other human beings because we couldn’t assume their automatic good will as we had done so far. Whenever we or one of us would go outside we’d have to have a relay system in place. Waiting for someone’s return would from now onwards be a nerve-racking anxiety only to be relieved once the person concerned would show up safe and sound.

  We would find a way, no doubt about that, but it would be awkward, difficult, fraught with potential for conflict, and, frankly, frightening.

  And then Yuki!

  The thought of her pregnancy under these circumstances frankly scared me to bits! How on earth would we manage to deliver this baby safely and keep Yuki alive? Once this Kate, Josh’s friend, would arrive, things might feel easier; but until she was here, I felt almost numb with anxiety at the thought of Yuki’s condition. Should anything go wrong! We wouldn’t know what to do! We had to familiarize ourselves with this whole issue as best as we could, Yuki and me. Nin wouldn’t be much help, probably. The book we’d bought all those days ago might help. Even though it was just a book, at least we would learn the theory.

  When I remembered that day we’d gone to town together and Yuki had told me about her pregnancy, it literally seemed like from another world. Those days just before day zero. If only we could turn back the wheel of time! Press a button or something and undo all this. If only!

  But this train of thought was useless and wasteful. We had to cope with the world as it was now. And we would!

  It just would take some time and a lot of effort. We would have to walk this new way of life one step at the time.

  And right now, the next step was, as I saw it, to find some kind of daily routine and a safe way of dealing with the outside world.

  After that we could start packing things that we wanted to carry with us, try to organize and decide upon our means of transport.

  And then wait for Josh and his friends!

  It hurt to think about that. Somewhere deep inside myself something tied itself in a knot and made breathing painful. Because, automatically, I wondered ‘what if?’, ‘what if he’ll never come?’ and I wasn’t ready for this yet. Now I just wanted to remember Josh, his words of love, the warm, glowing feeling inside they caused.

  I wasn’t ready to think about how to wait for him or, to be precise, when to give up waiting for him. I would think about this, if it was necessary, only then, certainly not now.

  I allowed my thoughts to drift and dream about Josh a bit. Wondering how it would be when he’d come. It would be strange. I mean, what would I do? How would we meet? Fall into each other’s arms? Kiss? Or would this all wait for later? After all, his friends would all be present. It would be awkward. Wouldn’t it?

  Ah, well. With a sigh and a smile I turned to other things.

  After all, ‘first things first’ was my usual motto and right now, this meant thinking about our daily life: food, water, what we should do, what we would have to avoid, how we should organize ourselves, and how and when we should go out.

  And, of course, that school-for-Alice-scheme. She had to learn, we all had to keep on learning, but she needed to be taught basics, writing, reading, elementary maths, things like that. We would have to work out some kind of syllabus for her. Yuki would love to do that.

  Another urgent thing, at least from my perspective, was to take stock of our food, especially fresh food, veggies, eggs and meat. And then we needed to discuss ways to organize whatever else was needed.

  If the decision were left to me, I would opt for me going out and trying to get things. I still thought that I was the most dependable of us all. But I doubted that the others would see eye to eye with me on this. Nin especially would want his share in these tasks. The mere thought of this made me nervous.

  We’d definitely need a kind of safety protocol for these expeditions. Otherwise, those of us left behind would regularly go nuts with anxiety.

  I would try to play the defence card with Nin, sure. After all, Nin and Yuki were the ones who knew how to handle a weapon. I knew not much about this. Sure, I had been taught how to handle a weapon, Dad and Uncle Phil had insisted on this. But it was mostly just theory with me. Unlike Nin, I had never practised regular target shooting. He had always been keen on practising his shooting skills and could handle any rifle with considerable proficiency. Therefore, when it came to defending ourselves, Nin was far more important than me. Plus, Yuki needed him much more than me. And so, it would make sense for Nin to stay behind with Yuki and Alice.

  That Alice or Yuki might go out by themselves was utterly unthinkable! And I was pretty sure that Nin would agree with me on that and that we could put a collective foot down here and keep them safe.

  But I was also aware that sooner rather than later we would have to establish some kind of normality. We couldn’t go on forever hiding in here and only going out in fear, always expecting danger. We would have to learn to walk with vigilance, sure. Knowing exactly what we were doing, where we could escape to in case of danger. But with confidence, without this constant fear that possessed us now.

  Ah, it wasn’t easy.

  I yawned and stretched, Alice snuggled closer to me, still sleeping. I gently kissed her and wriggled out of bed. Better to face another day and start that new kind of life.

  Nobody was in the big common room which gave me a little fright for a split second, but then I could hear the murmuring of voices from the fitness room. I went to the bathroom, washed and returned to our sleeping room to get dressed. By then Alice was slowly waking up too and needed some cuddling, so I spent some minutes wrestling with her. Then she walked off to find Nin and Yuki while I put out her cloths. When I heard them all talking in the central room I walked out to greet them.

  “Lia, finally! We have been awake for quite some time.” Yuki greeted me enthusiastically. “Listen, we want to go out today again, and then we want to have a better look at our surroundings. What do you think?”

  Nin shot me a quick glance but said nothing. Alice clearly liked the idea a lot because she clung to my side, shaking my arm, eagerly nodding her head.

  It seemed that the decision rested with me and since I was as anxious as the others to further explore our surroundings I agreed but insisted that we ate a proper breakfast before going out.

  While Alice got dressed and Yuki and Nin prepared breakfast I went to open the door to the bomb shelter. I had remembered something.

  “What are you doing?” Nin wanted to know.

  “I want to see how far into the house we can get. Just so, no particular reason. I’ll be back in a minute.” I called to him and disappeared into the bomb shelter.

  I headed for the boxes we had stored there.

  We would have to sort out what to take with us on our journey and what we would leave behind. But not now.

  Ah, there was the box with Mum’s books! I opened it and rummage through it.

  Sure enough, here was the book I had suddenly remembered! An old book, its pages well worn, some torn or otherwise damaged. Mum had inherited it from her aunt, a nurse. The book covered general health issues but also gave practical advice what to do in case of sickness, disease, accidents. Kind of a self-help book for wherever there were no doctors or health facilities. I had remembered it this morning. Now I hugged it to my chest and heaved a sigh. That othe
r book Yuki had bought covered things like giving birth, which was good, but we’d need general information on how to treat wounds, sicknesses, disease etc. And this little gem here would serve us well. Mum had always carried it with her, where-ever she had gone. Now I would carry it with us. As a safe-guard for us and a token for her. We would bring it to her!

  The thought crossed my mind spontaneously, the connection with my faraway mum through this book. I vowed here and there that I would bring it to her. We would make it there, somehow! I would make sure of that! We would reunite with our family!

  Hugging the book close, I proceeded toward the door of the bomb shelter. Yesterday evening we had taken just a quick look at the rubble on the other side. We’d been tired from the day’s outing and hadn’t bothered to see whether we might get into the house despite the debris. Now I intended to take a better look.

  As I opened the door of the bomb shelter, the air outside smelt dusty and burnt. There were pieces of wall that had tumbled right in front of the door, but I could squeeze past them and get further into the cellar and the house. But soon I couldn’t get any further. I couldn’t get to the door to the cellar and the corridor which led to the studio and up into the house. The bombs had made this part of the house collapse and the way was blocked. Pity!

  At least this meant that no one would be able to approach our safe haven from this side. The only exit and entry into the subbasement was now the tunnel into the grove.

  There was nothing worth taking with me from the cellar or the bomb shelter, just Mums medical book. So I went back down into the sub-basement.

  “Seen anything worth exploring?” Nin mocked.

  I shook my head and reported what I had seen. Then I showed them the book I had brought down. Nin rolled his eyes, Alice wasn’t really interested, but Yuki looked at me with relief.

  “You not only remembered to pack this book, but went to recover it. So nice of you, Lia!” She gave me a tight hug.

  We both knew what lay ahead and we were both tense at the thought of it. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered into her hair. “I am afraid of it, but I will make sure that everything will go all right, Yuki, I promise!”

  She squeezed my hand and her eyes were moist when she looked up, but she smiled and simply nodded vigorously, mirroring my desperate determination to bend the future to our will.

  Nin was wise enough to remain silent, even though it was clear from his expression that he thought us both going a bit overboard here. Instead, he helped Alice with her breakfast cereals.

  Alice was oblivious to our little exchange; her concern was with Piglet and Malinda, who, as she informed us, refused to eat because they were both sick and tired of staying underground.

  “They don’t feel hungry, but want to go out and play. What should I do?” She exclaimed.

  Nin pushed the bowl with cereals over to her.

  “Well, why don’t you tell them that they have to eat breakfast, otherwise we’re going to leave them behind. Because, unless they eat they won’t be fit enough to spend the day outside with us. We can’t carry food for them. So it’s either eating breakfast here and then going out or staying behind.”

  “See, Piglet.” Alice turned around to face Piglet who she had propped up beside her on the sofa. “I told you. We have to eat breakfast! Even if we are not hungry! Otherwise they will leave us behind!”

  “Stop play-acting.” I scolded Alice. “You have to eat, we all have to eat to remain fit and in shape. And no need to blame Piglet or Malinda for this.”

  Maybe this was a bit mean. She certainly looked hurt, but we were all anxious to get out and I wasn’t ready to deal with Alice’s whimsies just now. Alice growled at me a bit but ate her cereals in silence.

  Again, Nin didn’t say a word, just raised his eyebrow sceptically.

  “I am sorry Alice.” I back-pedalled a bit. “I didn’t mean to hurt you but you have to eat and we will be outside for quite a while and it won’t do if you’re hungry.”

  “It’s okay, Lia.” She kind of growled. “I understand.”

  But she didn’t come closer. A clear sign that she was seriously miffed.

  Well it would pass. There were more urgent things to discuss.

  “Nin, what about that plane-business? Do you really think there’s a suitable airplane down there at the airport. One that you or Josh’s friend could fly and that would carry is all over the Mediterranean?”

  “I think so. At least I hope that the airplane I have counted on is still down there in its hangar.” Nin wiped his mouth with a napkin and enthusiastically continued. “For all I know, there’s an airplane parked down there that would simply be perfect for us: long range, economic use of fuel and enough space for twenty people, which means we could load quite some gear. It belonged to the air rescue company that had their base down at the airport. I want to go and check today whether it is still being parked down there. I sincerely hope so. And that it is in pristine shape. Otherwise we would probably have to wait and see what idea this Paul will come up with. But if we could present them with this plane, I would surely feel relieved.”

  “How far does ‘long range’ in this case mean?” Yuki wanted to know.

  “Theoretically a bit over 7’000 kilometres, which would mean all the way down to Kenya, but probably we’d have to stop over at some place at least once. I have never flown this type of airplane I just know the theory about it. And I know that it is there because I saw it at the last air show, two years or so back, but I hope that the plane is still there. And, hopefully, Paul will know how to fly it. You know, if we should be able to fly at least across the Mediterranean, maybe to Cairo or even better, further South still, to Khartoum or Addis Ababa, we’d be really lucky. From either place we would be able to drive on by car and should be able to reach Blue-Hill-Farm within a couple of weeks, two or three.”

  Nin got really excited now. “Remember, I once drove up to Moyale with Uncle Phil. I was only eleven then but I still remember the way, at least part of it. It was very dusty and we had to drive in convoy. It took us a couple of days. We will come the other way. From Addis Ababa we could probably reach Moyale in a day or two, max. Then it would take us another three to four days to reach Nairobi. And from there we could get to Blue-Mountain-Farm in another day!”

  Nin looked at us excitedly.

  It sounded way too good to be true.

  “You really think we might make it to this place of your uncle within just a few days?” Yuki asked, incredulously but full of hope.

  “Yeah, okay, if you put it like that, it sounds a bit over optimistic, I agree.” Nin scratched his head thoughtfully. “But basically … and if we were really, really lucky we might make it within two to three weeks.”

  I said nothing, but I must have looked rather incredulously, because he indignantly added. “Don’t look at me like that Lia! You know that if we manage to cross the Mediterranean by plane we could make it by car to Kenya in a few weeks! Granted, of course, that we won’t run into trouble somewhere on the way.”

  “Yeah. Granted just that!” I candidly replied.

  The idea that we might travel to Kenya and Uncle Phil’s safe place within just a few days seemed ludicrous to say the least. A dream. And I wasn’t ready to chase dreams.

  “First things first, however.” I suggested. “Let’s get down to the airport and see whether that plane of yours is still there and functioning. Then we can start to dream of a quick trip out of here.”

  Nin looked as if he wanted to argue with me, but thought better of it and silently munched his breakfast. Yuki looked at the same time doubtful but also very hopeful. For her and her pregnancy, a quick trip would be a blessing. The longer it took the more perilous it would be, both for her as well as the baby.

  Even though I wasn’t ready to voice this publicly, I sincerely hoped that Nin was right and that this airplane of his was sitting down there just waiting for us.

  We quickly finished breakfast and tidied up. I he
lped Alice get her gear on. She insisted that we carry Piglet and Malinda with us and we obliged her. I fetched my binoculars and Nin appeared with a gun slung over his shoulder and a second one that he held out to me.

  “I want us to go armed,” he said. “It’s too dangerous out there and I think we should carry guns with us whenever we go out from now onwards. Yuki may be the better shot than you, Lia, but I don’t want her to carry a gun right now and I will anyway never let her out of my sight. Therefore you can carry the second gun.”

  He probably sensed our indignation at this patriarchal speech, because a nervous grin spread over his face and he kind of helplessly heaved his shoulders.

  Yuki looked for a moment like she might say something pretty rude, but then she relaxed and sweetly smiled at Nin instead. “I know that you mean well, love.” She said with a distinct edge of steel to her voice. “But just for the record, I don’t take kindly to being patronised like this, pregnant or not!”

  Then she ruined it all by walking over to Nin, hugging him tight and smiling up to him. “But I appreciate your concern and I know that you love me!”

  I snorted in disgust and Alice looked up to me questioningly while Yuki carefully avoided looking my direction.

  “Why do you disapprove of Yuki?” Alice wanted to know.

  “Because, if you tell a patronising idiot to back off you shouldn’t ruin the effect by hugging him just seconds later. It will just induce him to think that he was right all along. That’s why!”

  But I, too, had to smile and eventually we all laughed out loud.

  “Hand over that gun then.” I said to Nin. “Even though you know that I am not a good shot, I might at least scare someone off by wielding it at them.”

  I took the gun and slung it over my right shoulder.

  Yuki took Alice by her hand. Nin carried Piglet, and looked rather silly, what with a gun slung over his shoulders and Piglet in his hand. Alice held Malinda in her free arm. I carried a little backpack with some granola bars, apples and drinks. Then we left, carefully locking the door behind us.