The Billionaire's Carnival Baby (A BWWM Romance)
Page 17
“Does he feel the same way about you?”
Madison paused at her sister’s question, thinking it through before answering. “I think so. We’ve only talked a few times, but I think he does.”
“Well, I think you should take a good, hard look at the repercussions before you decide to go through with anything.” Suddenly, Kayla sounded like the fifth grade teacher that she was, explaining something to a group of ten year olds. “Every action that we take causes a reaction.”
“Yes, Miss Browne. I know that, thank you very much for your helpful advice.”
“I’m just saying be careful, Maddie.” Kayla sighed. “I love you, sis.”
“I love you too.” Madison said hurriedly, “I got to go.”
“Okay, take care.”
“Bye, Kayla.”
Madison pushed the button to end the call before softly replacing her cell phone on the kitchen table where it was. Slowly, she walked back over to the couch and sat down, once more pulling the soft knitted blanket up around her and scooping up the now sleeping kitten. Lucky blinked at her sleepily as she looked down at him.
“What am I going to do, Lucky?”
The kitten stared back with big, yellow eyes.
“A lot of help you are.”
Madison tucked the little ball of fur even closer as she played the movie again, trying to lose herself in the story. It was useless, thoughts of Christopher haunted her tirelessly but she resolutely tried to keep pushing them away. Eventually she gave up, and set her tormented mind to the task of figuring out how she could forget about Christopher Knight once and for all.
Chapter 4
“Madison. Madison. Hello, earth to Madison.”
Her supervisor, Amanda, had been calling her for the last few minutes, but Madison was miles away. She came down to earth with a bump when her supervisor shook her by the shoulder.
“What's wrong with you?” Amanda asked, looking directly into Madison's eyes. “Are you getting enough sleep, young lady? I know how you young girls like to burn the candle at both ends.” This supervisor was one of the nicer ones. She was in her fifties and had not wanted any further promotion. She liked the fact that she could remain in a hands-on role with patient care, rather than moving on to an office-only based-job and have stacks of paperwork to deal with.
Madison had always looked up to Amanda for that reason, and she wanted to be just like her by that age. Strong, still working hard but full of life and humor. Amanda always knew what to say to the expectant mothers to set their minds at ease, knew exactly how to rock a fussy newborn so they would fall back asleep. She was a little bit like the fairy godmother of the Obstetrics ward.
“I'm sorry,” Madison said with a shrug, trying to wave away the other woman’s concern. “I am just a little tired.”
Madison's mind had gone back to three weeks ago. Ever since that first time when she'd met Christopher, she'd left the diner saying to herself, “Never again.”
He had watched her take off for the bus, but he didn't give up. Christopher had been persistent. He had paged her several times and she'd tried her best to ignore him. Finally, after the third page that day, she had taken a five minute break from her shift to call him. He had to stop paging her, had to let her forget about him. But he was making it impossible for her.
He picked up on the second ring. “Hello, Madison?”
“Hi,” she paused for a moment, “How did you know it was me.”
“Wishful thinking?” He chuckled softly and the sweet sound washed over her before she could stop it. “Also, I recognized the number from the hospital. I had hoped it would be you.”
Before she could give into the warmth his voice caused to blossom in her body, she continued, trying to make her tone as professional as it could be. It came out breathy and hushed, but she pushed on. “Listen, Christopher. You have to stop trying to reach me. I thought I was clear when we met the last time. I’ll have someone else assigned to be your contact, but you have to–.”
“Wait, just listen to me okay? I really need your help. I need to talk to you. That’s all, just talk. I promise.”
The honest sincerity she heard in her voice stopped her from immediately saying no, even though she knew she should. She really should. It’s a mistake, her brain yelled at her. A big mistake. Before she even realized what she was saying, the words had flown out of her mouth.
“Okay. We can meet. But just to talk. I mean it.”
“Yes. Yes, of course. Thank you, Madison.”
She tried to ignore the pulse of desire that swept through her at the sound of her name falling off of his lips, and felt like banging her head against the wall in frustration. Not with him, but with herself. Why did she keep putting herself in these situations with him? Determined, she opened her mouth to tell him that the meeting was off, that she couldn’t do it, but he was already speaking over her.
“Great! So, tomorrow around eleven. We can meet at this great little place I know called Leticia’s. They have great coffee, and the best scones you’ve ever had in your life. Great!” He repeated before continuing in an almost constant stream. “We can meet there if you prefer. I’ll be there at eleven sharp. See you tomorrow!”
Before she had even managed to get out a single word, let alone protest the meeting at all, he was gone and the other line just an empty dial-tone in her ear.
It wasn’t until after she had walked back to the nurse’s station that she realized the coffee shop he wanted to meet at was close to her apartment. A part of her wondered if he knew, and that was why he had suggested it, but immediately dismissed the idea as absurd. There was no way he could know. It was just a lucky pick.
Madison walked through the rest of her shift in a daze, her thoughts constantly distracted by her upcoming meeting with Christopher. It’s just an advisor meeting with a patient, that’s it. Well, that is what she tried to tell herself as she headed to the nurse’s station to clock out for the night. It was late, nearing ten o’clock, and she didn’t even see Amanda as she turned to leave until she ran into her.
“Oh, Amanda, I’m so sorry!”
“Really, Madison, are you sure everything is alright? You haven’t seemed like yourself all day.”
Madison shook her head at the supervisor with a small smile, as much as she could muster. “It’s been a long shift, that’s all. I just need to get some sleep, then I’ll be as good as new for tomorrow’s shift.”
“Well, make sure you do, alright sweetie? You can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first.”
“I will, thanks. Goodnight!” Madison threw a wave backwards, not even waiting to hear the other woman’s goodbye as she hurried out of the hospital, across the half-full parking lot to the bus stop across the street.
Madison stood, staring up into the clear night sky, taking in the beauty of the bright moon and twinkling stars that were shining down on her. As the bus pulled to a squeaky stop in front of her, she boarded, paid the fare, and moved to take her seat before casting her dark brown gaze once more to the sky outside. I’ll tell him tomorrow, she thought resolutely. I’ll tell him that he will just have to find someone else. As the bus drove on, she just tried to make herself actually believe it.
***
Christopher sighed in relief when he looked up from his watch for about the fifth time and saw Madison’s dark brown curls piled high on her head in a messy bun, her chocolate eyes wide on his as she slowly walked over to the small table he had been waiting at for the past half hour. He had been afraid she wouldn’t show. The thought had sent his heart sinking painfully in his chest. He didn’t know what it was about her that mesmerized him so much but it was like she was a drug that he could never get enough of. Like he was addicted to her.
He stood as she neared, pulling out her chair with a small bow and a wave of warmth suffused him at the small smile that curved just the corners of her lush mouth. There was a lot that he would do just to see that smile again.
“I was afraid you weren’t going to show.”
Madison tipped her head to the side, staring back at him before answering. “I thought about it.” Her honesty surprised him, although it shouldn’t have. She had been brutally honest with him from the start. It was one of the things he admired most about her. In his world, most people couldn’t afford the luxury.
She sighed, and the sound ripped at him. “Please, Christopher. You have to ask for someone else to help you from the hospital. This is too…hard for me.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Madison scoffed. “You know damn well why, Christopher. This is wrong. This whole thing is just…” Her words trailed off into a heavy silence that hung between them until he finally broke it.
“Madison, I need your help. Please, just your help.”
“This is all about your concerns about fatherhood, is that right, Christopher?” she asked, her eyes imploring him to agree.
“Oh, absolutely,” he said quickly, sitting up straighter in the wire backed chair. A small surge of victory shot through him when, after a long and tense moment, she sighed again and nodded her agreement.
So she had given him another chance to talk and voice his worries. Christopher talked for a brief moment before asking a question. Madison answered politely, professionally, and he sat watching. He was instantly distracted by the small dimple that flashed at him whenever she opened her mouth to speak. It was utterly entrancing.
“Christopher, are you even listening to me?”
“What? Oh, yes. Of course I am.” Christopher couldn’t hide the look of guilt that flashed in his eyes and he glanced away for a minute, examining the rest of the empty coffee shop before turning back to Madison. Her next words had his heart sinking.
“Look Christopher, I don't feel comfortable doing this anymore. You're just staring at me, and I can tell you're not really listening. Is your wife going to call me for advice at any time?” Madison asked, already knowing the answer.
“You don’t understand, Madison. There is so much you don’t understand about me and Ailsa.”
“I don’t need to know the details of what’s going on between you and your wife. You’re married, that is the only thing I need to know.” I just wish it wasn’t so easy to forget, she added silently to herself. She glanced down at her hands folded on the table in front of her while her mind warred. After a long moment, she looked back up at his whispered words.
“Your eyes are so distracting,” he mumbled softly, moving his chair closer to her. “They are so beautiful. They just kind of draw you in.”
Madison shook her head at him, refusing to feel flattered by the compliment despite the flurry of butterflies his words had set off in her stomach. Just as she opened her mouth to tell him he was being ridiculous, his hand reached out as if he wasn’t even aware of what it was doing, and traced the line of her cheek, just to the right of her mouth.
“And this dimple.” He whispered the words so softly she almost didn’t hear it. “It’s driving me crazy.”
Madison tried to shake her head again but she couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak. She felt like she was trapped as they sat, Christopher’s charismatic dark-eyed gaze boring into her own. Several moments passed but it could have been hours, years. Madison could feel her breathing becoming faster. There was a warm, damp feeling between her legs that made her squirm in her seat, breaking the eye contact that had been holding her still.
“I should go,” she said abruptly, her voice husky and flustered and she pushed the chair back, stood up, and grabbing her purse turned toward the exit. Christopher was immediately standing beside her, so close she could smell the spicy scent of his aftershave as it wound around her. She was breathing him in with every inhale.
“Let me at least walk you home.”
Without another word in reply, Madison scurried to the door. I am not running away, she told herself as she grabbed the brass knob and fled outside, not even bothering to look behind her to see if he was following. She knew he was. She could feel him there, just a few feet behind her.
Christopher had to hurry to keep up with her, after throwing a bunch of dollar bills onto the table. Within minutes she was approaching her apartment, and Christopher was close at her side.
“Hey, slow down,” he said, reaching for her arm, but she drew it away before he could touch her. She didn’t know what she would do if he did but she knew it wouldn’t be good. Her brain just turned to mush around him, it would probably just disintegrate entirely if his big, hot hand came anywhere near her. Suddenly, frustration filled her.
“No, you slow down, Christopher. I'm not stupid.” She swung around. “I know what's happening here.”
He didn’t say anything else. And what could he say? He knew just as well as she did that nothing could happen between them. But the way he was looking at her, so dark, so filled with want. It swept over her like a physical touch leaving tiny electrical shocks in its wake. There was an intense heat that ignited between them as she stood, defiantly, outside her apartment building, willing herself not to touch his cheek, not to kiss him. She was very close to him now: his face was getting closer and she wasn't pulling away. It would be oh so easy to let the pull between them win, to just let it happen. Everything inside her was screaming for her to give in.
His lips hovered just a hairsbreadth above her own and the ache that filled her body with pounding lust nearly overwhelmed her. But another ache drummed out in tandem inside her chest, just beside her heart, and suddenly, Madison jerked her head back
“Christopher, go home.” She whispered painfully. Without looking back, she ran inside and up to the second floor to her door. She couldn't find her key and she dropped her purse, her hands shaking madly as she tried to dig for them. “Damn,” she said to herself, taking a deep breath. “Calm down, Madison.”
It took her another several minutes to find her keys, and then several tries after that to actually get the door open, but finally she was stumbling into her apartment. Lucky ran up to her as soon as she shut the door, batting playfully at the jingling keys she still had clutched in her fist and rubbing against her ankles as he purred wildly.
Madison scooped him up as a sense of desperation filled her. She stared down into his tiny, whiskered face. “What am I going to do, Lucky?” she asked, not expecting any sort of answer. Lucky curled up in her arms and purred even harder as she held him tightly against her.
She reached up with a hand and traced the small dimple in her right cheek, thinking again of Christopher and just how close she had come to kissing him, to giving in to the desire still raging through her. He had such an intense effect on her, like she was gasoline and he was the fire, and whenever they got too close she went up in flames.
Setting the kitten down, she hastily refilled his food bowl and walked down the short hall to the bathroom. Maybe a cold shower would help clear her mind, she thought. Anything to distract her from the mountain of lust that threatened to crash over her. He was so potent, just the thought of him sent her body into overdrive again. Yes, Madison thought to herself as she grabbed a clean towel. A cold shower is just what I need.
***
The next three weeks flew by filled with work, and the extra shifts she had picked up in the hopes that staying focused on what was happening at the hospital would keep her mind off of other things, dangerous things. The entire time she'd been dreading hearing from Christopher, or even Ailsa. What if his wife suspected something?
At first, the pager had vibrated in her
pocket every time Christopher contacted her, which was much more frequently than she had hoped, and it made her jump every time. And every time she’d ignored it. They had come too close the last time, too close to some edge that Madison was so afraid that once they crossed over it would be impossible to go back. She'd gotten rid of it immediately, throwing it away in a dumpster one night on her walk to the bus stop after the fifth time it had buzzed that day. She'd lied to her supervisor, and said she'd lost it and had to be issued another one.
Madison was trying so hard to stay away from temptation. To do the right thing. But she knew that if she was face to face again with Christopher she might not be strong enough to resist a second time. Hopefully, he would take the hint and stay away from her. But that didn’t stop her thoughts from circling back to him again and again.
As she sat at the nurses' station, Madison was constantly drifting off in her mind, easily picturing Christopher’s tall, masculine physique and striking features despite the weeks since she had last seen him. Which was a good thing, she reminded herself, even though her body protested. Another part of her denied it as well, a part that caused her chest to tighten painfully and had her looking around corners hoping he would be there. She missed him.
She scoffed at herself, telling herself that it was ridiculous to miss the man that she had pushed away, but she couldn’t deny it, couldn’t lie to herself. Suddenly, she noticed a voice coming from behind her, interrupting her disturbing daydreams.
“Oh, Amanda, I’m sorry,” Madison said distractedly as she turned around, “I didn’t even see you there. I’ve just been so out of it today.”
“Well,” Amanda, her favorite nursing supervisor, was saying, “it's only a little while before you're off duty anyway. You may as well go, as you're no use to me like that. You make sure you have a good long sleep. You're starting nights next week and they're always the longest. Somehow everyone has a baby in the middle of the night.”