Lucky jerked and quickly rolled out of the stream of water pouring down on him before sitting up. “What the hell, man?”
“Get your sorry ass up and get to helping with this fence,” Chance growled before he downed the rest of the water and tossed the bottle into the back of the truck. “Pity party’s over.”
“What fence?” Lucky looked around through squinted eyes. “Where am I?”
Chance picked up the nails and hammer he’d left out earlier. “The Calhoun Ranch.”
Lucky’s eyebrows raised at that, and he slowly rose to stand. “You’re helping Kenzie out?”
“Yes, and now so are you.” Chance guided him to the fence and instructed him to roll it while he took care of hammering it to the posts. The last thing he wanted to do was give his drunk brother a hammer. “Dinner’s at six and you’re going so we’d better get this done.”
“Dinner? Where?”
“Kenzie’s. I’m helping her out around here in exchange for meals and a bed in the bunkhouse.”
Lucky rolled the fence to the next post, his back straight. “You never could stand to stay at home.”
Chance glanced up from where he crouched next to the pole, ready to hammer in the bottom nail. “Do you need me to?”
Lucky shook his head. “Naw. I’m a big boy now, bro. I don’t need you bailing me out of shit anymore.” He laughed. “Hell, I’ll probably be bailing you out of trouble before long. Seems like your time away didn’t teach you nothing. Came runnin’ right back to this ranch.”
Chance frowned, biting back irritation as he moved along to the next post. “You’re the one who told me Kenzie needed help.”
“With the ranch, yeah. I get you doing this. What I don’t get is why you would bring her to the cemetery today.” He shook his head and let out a groan.
The nap may have helped him sober a bit, but he obviously still felt the effects of his latest binge. Serves him right.
“Then again, that girl still looks at you all goofy-eyed,” Lucky continued. “Maybe bringing her to the burial was a good thing. The sooner she sees how messed up we are, the sooner she’ll come to her senses. Women like that…they aren’t for us, bro.”
Tell me something I don’t know. Chance nodded his agreement, remembering the way Kenzie had looked at him after the burial, like he was some puzzle she couldn’t figure out. It was as if she’d expected him to be a certain way and couldn’t understand why he wasn’t. He imagined if they ever did get together for real, she would look at him like that a lot. They were from two different worlds, and a decade of time hadn’t changed that hard fact one bit.
“I’m just helping the woman out. Nothing else.”
“Sure.” Lucky yawned, his bloodshot eyes watering. “You got any beer on ya?”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Chance stopped what he was doing to face his brother head on. “Hell, I know we didn’t have the greatest mother, but you still could have sobered up long enough for her burial. And since when are you the town drunk?”
“Since when is what I do your business?”
“Since the day you were born.”
Lucky held his gaze for a moment before turning away and rolling the fence to another post. “We should blow this town, just pack up and leave.”
Frowning at the abrupt change of topic, Chance ambled over to the next post to continue his work. “That’s a pretty random thought.”
“No, I’ve been thinking about it. All our lives we’ve been the bad-ass cowboys. Mamas cry when we date their daughters, the daddies shoot at us, but they love us in the arena. Seems like we’re only wanted for riding. Bulls and women. It’s time to go somewhere where nobody knows us, and we can just be us.”
“Lucky, that is us. We’ve been working on ranches, riding wild animals, and bedding loose women all our lives. What else do we even know how to do?”
“Fish.” Lucky swayed a bit as he moved to the next post, but maintained standing.
Chance nodded, recalling the early mornings spent down at the creek when they were kids. Lucky was impatient as hell, but after a lot of trial and error…and a little thumping upside the head, he’d taught the boy how to stand still and wait on the fish to bite. It was probably the most peaceful time he’d ever had. “Yeah, we’d have to catch a lot of fish to live off of, and as I recall, you weren’t all that great at it.”
“We could run a bait shop.” Lucky grinned. “We could call it Masters Baiters.”
Chance laughed. “I don’t think so.”
They worked in silence for about ten minutes before Chance couldn’t stand it anymore.
It wasn’t like Lucky to drink so heavily for an extended period of time, nor was it like him to complain about being known for his skills in the arena. He thrived on it, along with his ability to seduce any woman he set his sights on. Now he wanted to leave town and start new without anyone knowing him by reputation? It just didn’t sit right in Chance’s gut.
“So…are you going to tell me what’s up, or am I going to have to beat it out of you?” He struck the hammer against the nail. “And before you go bragging about those two inches of height you got on me, consider who’s got the better throwing arm.”
Lucky shook his head. “Nope. Not gonna do it. I’ve asked you a billion times what happened the day you left here and didn’t come back for so long. I’m not telling you nothing until you can finally answer that question for me.”
“Fine.” Chance glared at his brother’s smug face. “But first you have to tell me why you’re drinking so much, and it’d better be the truth.”
“There’s not much point.” Lucky ran a long-fingered hand through his shaggy hair. “You can’t fix this problem. You can’t help me.”
“Well, I won’t know about that until you tell me what the problem is.”
Lucky let go of the fence and turned away, head bowed as he took a deep breath. “I haven’t talked about it to anyone. It’s…it’s not easy to say out loud.”
“Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”
Lucky turned toward him and held his gaze with cold, angry eyes. “I killed a woman. She was just twenty-five years old and harmless as could be, and I killed her. Now, tell me how that isn’t all that bad.”
Chapter Seven
Kenzie checked on Lucky, then grabbed the foil covered plate she’d made up for Chance and headed toward the bunkhouse. “I should let the jackass starve,” she muttered as she passed the barn, rolling her eyes at Daisy. The dog barely glanced up from her position atop a bale of hay. “And get a dog that’ll bite the next cowboy who comes poking along here.”
Chance had sent Lucky down for dinner, but skipped out on it himself. The whole payment through meals idea had been his, and he’d reneged the very first day. There was no way she was taking charity from him, and having him work on her ranch without receiving the full payment they’d agreed on would be charity as far as she was concerned.
Her heart lurched as she neared the bunkhouse and saw the dark windows, but his truck was there. Maybe he’d turned in early. Too bad. He was about to wake up. She knocked on the door and waited a moment. “Chance?”
Nothing.
The knob turned easily in her hand and she stepped inside. The main room was dark and looked as if no one had been in it in days, but when she flipped the light switch, she saw two empty beer bottles on the kitchen island. Apparently, Chance had treated himself to a liquid dinner.
She looked around the spacious, wood-paneled room, taking in the large sectional and widescreen TV. A stereo sat in the corner collecting dust as did the bookshelf. The kitchen area was small and a quick inspection of the refrigerator and cabinets showed that, other than alcohol, Chance hadn’t bought anything to stock it. She’d have to take care of that in the morning, though she hoped he knew he could always come to her kitchen. She set the plate of food on the island.
The table the ranch hands ate around was huge and took up the majority of the spacious room. The thought
of Chance eating there by himself saddened her. She knew Jimmy Seeley was the only help Chance had hired on and being a family man, he’d never stay in the bunk house. It was just Chance in the small building that seemed cavernous without the other ranch hands in it.
“Chance?”
Still no response. She crept down the narrow hall and opened the door to the room that held rows of bunk beds. None appeared slept in recently and there were no sounds coming from the big attached bathroom. Obviously, Chance had taken the big single room reserved for the foreman. A few steps down the hall took her there.
A queen sized bed with brown sheets dominated the single room, which also housed a leather armchair and a mahogany dresser. Chance wasn’t inside, but the bed sheets were rumpled and a duffel bag rested atop the dresser. A clinking sound came from the bathroom a mere second before the door opened.
Chance stepped out, beads of water glistening along his skin as he clenched the ends of a blue terrycloth towel together at his hip. “Kenzie?” He’d stilled with eyes open wide as they’d found her, but he quickly recovered, scowling as he crossed over to the dresser and opened a drawer. “You just barge into people’s bedrooms?”
The bitterness in his tone snapped her out of the fantasy brought on by his nearly nude state. She managed to lift her eyes from his terrycloth-clad rear. “Last I checked, I own this building, which means I’m stepping into my bedroom.”
He stiffened for a moment, but twisted his upper lip into some semblance of a grin before extracting a pair of clean blue-jeans out of the drawer. “Don’t worry, Boss Lady. I haven’t forgotten my place.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
He moved toward the bathroom, but she intercepted him, stopping him with a hand to the chest. Not the best move considering sparks of desire shot straight up her arm, but Kenzie had enough frustration inside to keep her mind where it belonged. “What’s with the attitude?”
“Move out of my way.” Chance stared straight down into her eyes. “Kenzie…I can put my pants on in the bathroom or I can drop the towel right here. It’s your choice.”
Flashbacks of ten years ago fluttered through her mind, and she removed her hand from Chance’s chest, but didn’t make any effort to move out of his way. He’d embarrassed her then, but he wasn’t about to do it now. She held his gaze with steely determination. “Go ahead. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
His nostrils flared briefly before his mouth twisted into the slightest grin. He stepped back, and with his gaze locked to hers, dropped the towel.
Kenzie stared straight into his eyes, determined not to show her nerves as he bent down and pulled his jeans on. If she looked down, she would surely blush right down to her toes.
“Well, I guess you’re not the same timid little girl who runs away at the sight of a naked man.”
“I haven’t been for a long time,” she countered, allowing him to draw his own conclusions. “Need help with the snap?”
He arched a dark brow, but only curved his mouth upward as he stepped toward the door. “What do you want, Kenzie?” he asked as he left the room.
Kenzie took a deep breath to calm her suddenly racing heart, and followed him into the kitchen area, sighing as he extracted a beer out of the fridge. “Alcohol isn’t helping your brother and it’s not going to help you.”
He glared her way before popping the cap off and taking a long draw off the bottle. “Ever gotten drunk?”
“No.”
“I knew that.” He pointed at her with the bottle before taking another swig. “You’ve never had to.”
“You’re saying you have to get drunk as if there’s no choice in it for you?”
“I’m saying you’ve never had a pain so bad you couldn’t get it out of your mind.” He crossed his arms, which brought more attention to the rippling muscles beneath his skin as he leaned his hip against the kitchen island. His damp, dark hair hung over his brow, adding to his air of rebelliousness. “You’ve led a very fortunate life. My life is shit, and Lucky…Lucky has the wrong damn name.”
She ignored his insinuations about her life, picking up on the source of his anger. “Lucky told you what happened?”
“Why didn’t you? You obviously knew.” He frowned. “Where is he anyway?”
“Asleep on my couch. He almost passed out into his mashed potatoes.” Kenzie tilted her head to the side, studying the set of Chance’s jaw. If he was angry, fine. It was understandable, but why take it out on her? Lucky hadn’t seemed angry at dinner, just exhausted, and intoxicated, of course. “I’ve never talked to Lucky about what happened.” She shrugged and slid her hands into the back pockets of her jeans to keep from fidgeting while she explained. “You say I’ve never really hurt before, but that just shows you have no idea what my life has been like. I hurt when my father married that wretched woman, soiling my mother’s memory. I hurt when my mother died. I was just a kid then, as you should remember. You think that was an easy pain to get over?”
He looked away, duly chastised. “Kenz—”
“Shut up.”
His head swung back around, his eyes wide with surprise. She held his gaze for a moment, then continued. “When I was eighteen years old, I did what I’d longed to do for years. I told the man I loved how I felt, and I threw caution, dignity…hell, I threw my self-respect to the wind to offer myself to him. He took everything I offered, twisted it into something ugly and tossed it right back in my face. That hurt, Chance. It damn near crippled me, but I didn’t run to a bar to get over it.” Her chest heaved as anger revved her heartbeat up a few notches.
“I didn’t drown my sorrows in alcohol when the whole town was gossiping about how the little Calhoun girl must have thrown herself at the cowboy and chased him off, nor did I drink myself into a stupor when my father died and all I got was this ranch I didn’t even know how to run…and a mountain of debt. I pulled through and dammit, I never pinned blame on anyone. I took the blows life dealt me and kept going. But believe me, I felt pain.”
She stepped closer and poked a finger into the center of his hard chest. “Don’t you dare be angry with me because I didn’t tell you what happened to Lucky. He’s your damn brother. Part of the way I dealt with my pain was to distance myself from everything that had to do with you, which meant I didn’t speak with Lucky. All I know is what I read in the paper about that woman cutting her wrists in the motel room Lucky had rented. If you hadn’t run off in the first place, you would have known.”
She paused to take a breath and allow Chance the opportunity to speak, but he didn’t say a word. Shaking her head, she stepped away. Like a fool, she’d gotten her hopes up again, but time hadn’t changed Chance. For whatever reason, he still couldn’t see them on the same level.
She nodded toward the plate of food she’d left on the island for him. “I brought you a plate of chicken fried steak, potatoes, and greens. Eat it or choke on it. I just don’t care anymore.” Raising her hands in the air, she turned away, but stopped before she reached the door. “You know, I used to think you were so brave.” She turned around and studied him through tired eyes. He was beautiful, from his work-chiseled bronzed body to the dark blue eyes which carried the weight of the world, but he wasn’t what she’d thought he was. “You were always so big and vibrant, so…powerful. You worked hard every day and actually enjoyed it. You rode raging bulls for crying out loud…but you ran away with your tail tucked between your legs all because someone dared say they loved you. You’re a coward, Chance Masters.”
His head snapped up at that, eyes blazing fire. “I’m a what?”
“A coward.” She stepped closer. “You push away anyone who cares about you rather than taking a chance on love. You hurt other people just to protect yourself from being hurt, but you know what? It’s not working out for you, is it?”
“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
“Oh, really?” She stepped closer until she stood right before him. “
You already admitted you panicked ten years ago, and that’s fine. You’re right. I was too young, but I’m not too young now. We both know you wanted to kiss me earlier today and you’ve been pushing me away ever since. You’re so desperate for a reason to keep me at arm’s length, you’re actually using your brother’s problems against me. Pardon the hell out of me for suggesting you get the truth from Lucky rather than a bunch of gossip and speculation from me, but that’s not the issue, is it? Once again, you’re just scraping for lame excuses to use to cover up the fact you’re too damn scared to take what you want.”
“You don’t know me like you think you do.” Chance leaned in close, his body taut with restraint. “You deserve a better man than me.”
“You’re right. I’m too good for a coward.”
“I’m not a coward.”
“Then prove it for once. Take what you w—”
His lips came down hard on hers, almost brutal, as he grabbed her waist and tugged her tight against his body. Just as it had happened ten years earlier, Kenzie’s heart rate tripled, her body flushed with heat as his rough hands inched up her T-shirt and slid down the back of her shorts to squeeze her bottom as he held her almost too close to breathe.
His smooth lips trailed down to her throat, warm breath tickling her neck as he lifted her up. She straddled his waist as he carried her toward the bedroom.
He reached the room and lowered her to the bed, placing her in the center before covering her with his body. His lips met hers again, and despite the taste of liquor, his kiss was the sweetest dessert Kenzie had ever tasted.
Her breath hitched as he rose to his knees and unbuttoned her shorts. “Are you on the pill?”
A wave of ice cold reality rushed over her. He’d said he was ready to find a wife and settle down, have kids. He could either be asking her if she were on the pill out of consideration for what she wanted or…he could be asking because he had no intention of settling down and having kids with her. She would be just another notch on his bedpost.
She took a deep breath to gather her wits. “No. I want kids.”
Cook County Cowboys Page 6
