“I’m working hard, but not too hard. But I have to admit that it’s harder to supervise people than it is to do the work yourself.” She pointed at her head. “It’s harder up here. I’m not able to leave my worries at work like I can when I’m just doing a solo project for a homeowner.”
Jackie nodded. “That makes sense, but you look like something else is bothering you.”
“No,” Toni said immediately. “I’m fine.”
Testing a theory, Jackie said, “Somebody said they saw Noel here last weekend.”
Toni looked up warily, mumbling, “Mmm.”
“Are you keeping in touch with her?”
Doling out her words as though they were thousand dollar bills, Toni said, “Yeah.”
“I really like her. She’s awfully easy on the eyes, too.”
Unguardedly, Toni sighed and said, “She sure is.”
***
The next night Toni was waiting with dinner when Noel knocked on the front door. It was almost the end of September, but the weather was still nice and she had barbecued, knowing how much Noel liked her food cooked outdoors.
They’d barely gotten the kitchen cleaned up after dinner when Noel tried to maneuver Toni into the bedroom. Uncharacteristically, Toni deferred the invitation and went back into the living room.
Noel sat next to her on the couch and put her arm around her shoulders. “What’s up? You seem like something’s on your mind?”
“Nothing big,” she said. Noel’s ability to read her moods was beginning to get annoying, but Toni felt a little of the pressure release when Noel pulled away and leaned against the opposite arm of the sofa.
“Tell me about the little thing that’s on your mind. If something is bothering you, I’m interested.”
“Really?” All of the possible ways Noel could shut her down flooded her mind. She wanted to start over and try harder to act like everything was fine.
Noel scooted back across the couch and sat right next to her. Toni felt boxed in again, as though Noel was cutting a hole in her head to see inside. “Absolutely. I’m remarkably interested in everything about you.”
“Other than sex?” Her eyes darted toward Noel once again, trying to see if she was sincere.
“Of course!”
“Then why don’t you ever call me?” She knew she was pouting, but she couldn’t help it.
“Call you?”
Toni stood up and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She threw ice cubes into her glass, using more force than she needed. “Forget it.” She castigated herself for bringing it up. No good ever came of talking about hurt feelings.
Noel got up and went into the kitchen, cornering her. “Stand still and tell me exactly what’s bothering you. I want to know.”
Toni’s eyes darted from side to side, and she bit her lip for a second. She was so stupid about things! How did she get to be forty years old and know so little? “I don’t know how this is supposed to go.”
“How what is supposed to go?”
“This dating thing.” She flipped her hands around, angry with herself for being so inarticulate, and angry at Noel for her persistence. But it was too late to back out now, and she was too irritated to drop it. “Is it just about having sex?”
“No! Of course not.” Noel put her arms around Toni and held on even when she felt some resistance. “But when you first start dating, you’re crazy for sex. In my experience that doesn’t last that long, so I’ve been taking every opportunity that’s been presented.” She kissed Toni gently on the forehead. “Dating is about a whole lot more than sex. It’s about getting to know one another.”
Shyly, Toni looked up through her dark lashes. “Wouldn’t it help if we talked to each other more often?”
“It would. I just assumed you were busy during the week.” She kissed each shuttered eye. “Plus, I didn’t want to smother you. I know you like your independence.”
“I do. But I have plenty of it. I’m not asking you to fill up my nights or anything. Just a chat when something comes up.”
“Things come up every single day that I want to talk to you about. I keep telling myself that I have to remember to tell you about this or that. From here on out, I’ll just call you. Is that okay?”
“That’d be nice.”
“But you have to do something for me.” She held Toni’s chin between her fingers. “When something starts to bother you, let me know. We can work anything out. Anything,” she said fervently.
“Really?” She felt as though she would cry, but valiantly forced the feeling away.
“Anything,” Noel repeated. “If we want this to work; it will.” Immediately, Toni felt like a fog had lifted. She felt lighter and a surge of energy flowed through her. She kissed Noel with the thrumming passion that she usually displayed, and seconds later she was carrying her to bed.
***
Noel woke the next morning and stretched her arms out, disappointed when they weren’t met by the softness of Toni’s skin. She sat up, looking around the room confusedly. She didn’t hear a sound, so she got up and put on Toni’s shirt from the night before, knowing that the larger size would cover her better. The living room was empty, but the back door was open. Noel stood in the doorway and saw Toni sitting at the outdoor table, several stacks of paper piled in front of her. “Why aren’t you in bed?” she asked.
Toni turned and squinted to be able to see her. Her smile was bright and happy. “I love summer.”
“Summer?”
“Yeah. Only in the summer would a fantastic looking woman come to my back door wearing my shirt. It’s particularly nice if that woman looks like she’s been fully satisfied in the not too distant past.”
“Oh, I’m satisfied,” she said, her voice low and sexy. “How about you?”
“I could barely be more satisfied. But that’s no reason not to keep trying.”
“Then get in here. I can give you another tumble.”
Toni looked longingly at Noel, then took a quick glance at the papers in front of her. “Why don’t you take a shower and have some coffee. I went out and bought some fresh muffins this morning. They’re right in the warming drawer. By the time you’ve had your breakfast I should be able to stop.”
Noel scanned the property line just to make sure no one could see her. She went out and put her hands on Toni’s shoulders and rubbed them gently. “Do you need to work?”
“There are few things I have to do.”
“And a few more you’d like to do?”
With a guilty grin, Toni nodded. “If I can get a little bit ahead on the weekend, I feel much more in control.”
“Then do that. I have plenty of things to keep me busy.” She kissed the top of her head and rubbed her lips across thick hair. “As long as you save time to give it to me good sometime today, I’m happy.”
Toni turned her head and looked up at Noel. “I really like dating you.”
“I really like being dated. Now get back to work and call me when you’re done. I’ll go check up on The Sandpiper and maybe I’ll try to find Heidi.”
Toni turned all the way around and pulled Noel over so she stood between her knees. “I haven’t told her we’re dating.”
“Why?”
“No good reason. We haven’t been alone together since you and I decided we were dating, and I didn’t want to make an announcement at Jackie’s. She’s probably going to wonder why you’re in town again, so be prepared.”
“Do you not want me to…”
“No, not at all. Feel free to talk to her or anybody else in town about us.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. I just have to be prepared for all of the jealous looks I’m gonna get.”
Noel kissed her and pinched her nose. “I think that might go in the other direction. We’ll just have to see.”
***
Heidi was working in her office and agreed to meet Noel for lunch. Noel spent the rest of the morning over at The Sandpiper, c
hatting with Barbara and carefully measuring the bathroom she wanted to redo. She was so intent on sketching out the room properly that she was almost late for lunch, but she walked quickly and met Heidi just as she was coming up the street.
“Are you sure you haven’t moved here?” Heidi asked, kissing her cheek and hugging her.
“No, I haven’t. But you have to admit Rehoboth is a nice place to spend an Indian summer weekend.”
“I haven’t spent much time in Baltimore, so I’ll take your word for it. Did you have to kick Barbara out of your apartment?”
Noel wasn’t expecting the question, and it took her an embarrassingly long time to answer. “No, I didn’t,” she finally said, knowing that her cheeks were beginning to color. “I’m famished. How about you?”
“I got up late and only had breakfast an hour ago. I’m just going to get something to drink.”
“You should’ve told me. I could’ve just stopped by your office to say hello.”
“Don’t be silly. I wanted to see you.”
They walked into the diner and were shown to a booth. Noel knew exactly what she wanted, and when their waitress walked away, she started to feel a little nervous. Deciding it was best to just get on with it, she said, “I don’t see myself moving here, but I have been dating someone.”
Heidi looked very surprised. “From here?”
“Yeah. Toni and I have started dating.”
There was a pregnant pause, then Heidi started laughing. “That’s a good one.” When Noel didn’t laugh, Heidi stopped abruptly. “You can’t be serious.”
Feeling more uneasy by the second, Noel said, “Why is that so impossible to believe?”
“You mean you and Toni are having sex, right?”
“No. I mean that we’re dating.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Frustrated, Noel said, “Is it just in Delaware that people don’t know what dating means? Toni keeps asking me to define the rules.”
Heidi’s expression was full of concern. “Don’t be offended, but if you’re looking for monogamy, you’d better keep looking.”
Noel leaned back and stared at Heidi, stunned. “I thought you were her friend.”
“I am. But I was her lover too. I know you had a bad breakup, and I’d hate for you to have another one.”
“We’re just dating, but she’s the one who insisted she didn’t want to see anyone else.”
“Toni has a good heart, and the best of intentions. But don’t expect her to be monogamous. It’s just not in her nature.”
“You’re saying she cheated on you?”
Heidi clasped her hands together and spent a moment staring down at the table. When she looked up, there was pain in her eyes. “She broke my heart.”
Noel’s blood ran cold from all-too-fresh memories of Janet’s betrayal. Her heart went out to any woman who’d been cheated on—but to hear Toni was the same kind of vermin… She had to force herself to ask the question that could change everything. “What happened?”
“It’s just what I said. Toni’s not able to be faithful. She wants to be, and she feels horrible when she cheats, but…” The tears that welled up in her eyes clutched sympathetically at Noel’s heart. “She needs her freedom.” Heidi seemed irritated with herself for crying, and she quickly used her napkin to dry her eyes. “I feel sorry for her in a way. She wants to have the benefits of a relationship, but she just can’t follow through.” Heidi shook her head, looking frustrated. “I can’t say I wasn’t warned, but I believed she wanted to be faithful.” She sighed. “Now I worry about her growing old all alone.”
“People can change, Heidi.”
The look Heidi gave Noel was full of certainty. “No, they can’t. They can try. God knows that Toni tried, but eventually her true nature came out. And Toni’s true nature is…” She drifted off, seemingly unwilling to apply a label.
“What? She’s naturally a heart-breaker?”
“No, that’s not it. Toni’s one of the kindest people I know. I swear that,” she said, her voice growing stronger and more emphatic. “She doesn’t want to hurt anyone. She just can’t control her wandering eye.” She took Noel’s hand and squeezed it gently. “Don’t get too invested. She’s a wonderful friend but a truly awful girlfriend.”
Reflectively, Noel said, “That’s what she told me not long after we met. She said her ex-lovers would agree that she sucks at being in a relationship.”
“She does. She doesn’t want to…but she does.”
***
Noel was unsettled and cranky when she and Heidi parted. She walked around town for a while, hoping the strong ocean breeze would clear her mind. But the brisk wind couldn’t erase her troubled thoughts. What was she missing? Toni seemed so honest, so honorable. But she did have a hell of a hard time expressing her feelings. Not only that, but Noel often had to force her to think about emotional topics. Maybe she couldn’t, or wouldn’t stop herself when she was attracted to a new woman. It was entirely possible that she’d tamped down her feelings so well that she didn’t realize when she was getting bored. Then, when a pretty face blew into town she was caught unawares when she found herself straying. What else made sense?
She knew Toni thought the world of Heidi. To cheat on her, when she had so much invested, when everyone in town would know about it… There must be some illogical explanation, since the logical ones didn’t work.
Whether by unconscious design or happenstance, she found herself by the bookstore where Gloria worked, and she poked her head in to see her friend behind the counter.
“Well, hello, stranger!” Gloria said when she saw her. “What good wind blew you into town?”
Noel hugged her and leaned against the counter. “Full disclosure?” she asked shyly.
“Sure. Although I can’t imagine any reason you’d want to hide.”
“I might have one,” Noel said. She spent a few seconds thinking of how she’d say it, but then just blurted out, “I’m involved with Toni Hooper.”
Gloria’s eyebrows shot up, and she looked as though she were truly shocked. “Well, that might just be something you want to hide.”
Noel slapped her hand onto the wooden counter, making the lone customer snap her head in the direction of the sharp sound. “Sorry,” she said to the woman. She rolled her eyes when she turned back to Gloria. “Has she cheated on every woman in town? Have I picked the woman with the worst reputation in Delaware to fall for?”
Gloria put her arm around Noel’s shoulders and hugged her. “It’s not that,” she said, rubbing her shoulder. “It’s not that her reputation is bad. In fact, it’s fantastic. Everyone loves Toni.”
“She’s just a slut,” Noel groused.
“That seems harsh, but it’s common knowledge that she likes to play the field. I personally don’t think it’s fair to call her names when the same behavior would win her accolades if she were a man.”
“Just don’t try to form a real relationship with her. Is that the word on the street?”
“Well, yes, that’s what I’ve heard.”
“From Max?”
“No, but…” She looked like she didn’t want to continue, but she did. “It’s common knowledge. Toni and her friend Roxy are well known for their competition to be the most popular woman in town.”
The customer departed, leaving Gloria and Noel alone. “What did Maxine think about her?”
“Mmm.” A half smile curled the corners of her mouth. “Ahh, Max. She was as proud of Toni as if she was her…” She trailed off, and her cheeks grew pink. “Well, that was a ridiculously insensitive thing to say.”
“It’s fine. Really, it is. People expect me to be more tied to Max, but it’s like finding out you had a twin who died at birth. It’s interesting, but it doesn’t affect my life very much. So tell me more about how she treated Toni. That I find interesting.”
“Okay.” She drew in a breath. “She acted like Toni was her…son.” When Noel’s eyes bugged out she
said, “I know it sounds silly, but that’s what it felt like to me. Max acted like a proud father when she talked about Toni. And one of the things she enjoyed was boasting about her success with the women in town.” Noel was looking at her as if she were delusional, making Gloria say, “I know it doesn’t make sense, and maybe I read it wrong, but that’s how it felt to me. Max was a salty dog, Noel. She was an old-school sailor and being in the Navy for twenty-five years made her a pretty tough old bird. If I saw her on a Saturday night, she’d say, ‘I bet Toni’s got some pretty girl talked out of her jeans about now’ or something equally colorful.” She shrugged her shoulders, as though at a loss for a better explanation. “She was proud of that.”
“Do you think Toni behaved that way to please her?”
Gloria smiled. “That seems a little unlikely. I think Toni’s just a charmer. Women have been chasing after her since I’ve known her, and that’s been fifteen years.”
Noel draped herself across the counter, looking like she didn’t have the energy to stand. “So I’m just another tourist who can’t resist the local tramp, huh?”
“Toni’s not a tramp. She’s not,” Gloria said emphatically.
“She just cheats.”
Gloria shook her head roughly. “No, not true. From everything I know about her, she’s a woman of her word.”
Noel stared at her. She wanted to ask about Heidi, but didn’t want to put the thought into Gloria’s head if it wasn’t there already. “You really don’t know of her breaking any hearts?”
“No, I don’t. That doesn’t mean she hasn’t, but Max never mentioned anything like that. Has she made any promises?”
“Well, not in so many words, but she did say she didn’t want to date anyone else.”
“Great! I can’t imagine her lying about that. I really can’t.”
“But she might not be able to stay faithful,” Noel said, her lower lip stuck out.
“That’s potentially true for everyone, isn’t it? I’d bet money on Toni being faithful, or telling you if she wasn’t able to be.”
Susan X. Meagher - The Legacy Page 20
