Dorothy In the Land of Monsters

by Garten Gevedon

  “Wow,” I breathe.

  “If you promised you’d go, go. But don’t stay away too long. Things change fast here.”

  “I believe it,” I say and marvel at how much this news changes things. Nick will tell me I need to stay away until Quelala is dead for good. But if I can go anywhere in three steps, I have a lot less to fear. So, I’ll stock up on things my realm has that this one doesn’t, and I’ll come back here with everything we need to win this war. I can always leave again if I want. If something happens to Nick, I can leave, go anywhere I want in all the realms in seconds. But if I can be here, then I can help protect Nick, I can help him win, and when it’s all over, we can live the life neither of us has dared to dream of until now.

  “What stirring up there, sugar?” she asks, seeing my thoughts spin a mile a minute.

  “I’m thinking I will go back and get supplies for the war that’s about to happen. Barrels of holy water. Guns. A tank maybe.”

  “Whoa, guns?”

  “Yeah. I get they’re vampires, but a gunshot will slow them down at least.”

  “These people can’t handle guns. They are primitive. Would you give guns to cavemen?” she says, and I guffaw.

  “You think they’re like cavemen?”

  “I’m being hyperbolic, darling. It’s like the fifteenth century here. No technology, no weapons beyond swords and knives. They don’t even use deodorant. They cannot handle guns. Do not bring guns here. A gun can’t even kill a vampire.”

  “Maybe only a few.”

  “My dear, please don’t do that. This society is not ready for guns. None are to be honest. They are a terrible invention.”

  “I agree, but I want to decimate those vampires. I want to keep the people I love safe and give them every chance possible to win. They can’t fly. They aren’t immortal, and they don’t have fangs, super speed, or super strength. All they are is people who deserve a fighting chance.”

  She sighs a long, labored sigh.

  “No, I cannot let you do that. Guns do not belong here. Grenades would be better. They won’t understand them and won’t be able to reverse engineer them the way they would a gun. They are simple to use and all they need to do is throw it far away from themselves once they remove the pin. Grenades should be enough,” she says, giving in a little.

  “Okay, fine.”

  “When it’s over, we send them back though. We must account for all of the weapons you bring, and when it’s over we must get them out of this realm straightaway.”

  “I’m all for that too.”

  “All right then. Holy water would be good. I brought some back with me the last time I went, but it’s running low. And perhaps some tanks would be helpful. But we’d need fuel.”

  “They’ll be expensive I’m sure. Can I grab a ruby from somewhere around here to bring back so I can exchange it for some cash?”

  “If you bring one too big, it’ll be a big hoopla. I’ll give you some medium-sized ones. They’re worth a ton. Enough to buy some tanks at least,” she says and as a ruby box appears in rosy mist on the table. “Take those.”

  “Thank you,” I say as I open it up to find three faceted rubies the size of my palm.

  “Exchange them in Europe. You’ll get a better rate. Elias Kupper is my guy. Tell him Glinda sent you. He’s in Antwerp. Kupper’s Edelstenen is the name of the place if I recall. Oh! Can you pick me up some champagne, darling? The good stuff, please. A few dozen cases would be wonderful. I’ll be out soon and it’d save me a trip.”

  “Sure,” I shrug. Why not? I’ll need a huge trailer anyway if I want to bring back tanks and barrels of holy water.

  “Oh! And chocolates. You’ll be in Antwerp, so grab some Dutch chocolate while you’re there. Get bars, bonbons, cacao powder, the works.”

  “Is there no chocolate here?”

  “None. I bring it back, but it runs out quick. I’d bring the seeds, but I worry about bringing in foreign species. In a place like this, you never know what could happen.”

  “Very true.”

  “Dorothy?” I hear Nick say as he steps into the room wearing his long johns, every rippling muscle on his body calling out to me. I’m thrilled I don’t have to say goodbye forever. He smiles at me and I realize I’m smiling at him.

  “Hey,” I say as I look at him googly eyed. He always notices and chuckles.

  “Nicky! I didn’t recognize you! You are all grown up now,” Glinda says as she stands and walks over to him. He smiles, his sweetness rising to the surface along with the slight blush in his cheek.

  “Hello, Glinda. It is good to see you again.”

  “Oh, it’s wonderful to see you! How is your mother?”

  “She passed away,” he tells her, and she gasps.

  “Oh no, when?”

  “Soon after we came to see you, she fell ill.”

  “Oh, Nicky, I’m so sorry to hear that,” she says and hugs him, but the look on her face is severe, her eyes narrowed, and her lips pressed together in a grim line. I bet she thinks Gayelette did it to make his mother pay for protecting him against her. If that’s true, Gayelette’s even worse than I thought. She pulls back and puts a smile on her face. “She would be so proud of you and who you’ve become. Emperor of Winkie! That is impressive.”

  “Ha! We will see how successful I am at it. I do not feel like an Emperor.”

  “You’ll be wonderful,” I tell him. He will be. There is no one better for the job.

  “What are you doing awake?” he asks me.

  “I couldn’t sleep.”

  “We’ve been chatting,” Glinda says. “But now I’m off to bed. See you for brunch. Breakfast is too early. I want to sleep in.”

  “Sounds good,” I say, and she disappears in a puff of rose smoke.

  “Come back to bed,” he says, so I stand, pick up my box of rubies, and take his outstretched hand in mine before we head out of the room. As we walk down the long corridor toward the rose glass elevator, I entwine our fingers and snuggle up to him. I’m happy and at ease, and will have no trouble sleeping now.

  “Did you have a good conversation?”

  “Very good.”

  “Did she tell you she cannot return you?” he asks, wondering why I’m in such a good mood.

  “No, but she told me how I can return myself. Oh! I forgot to ask her how to take them off. Darn! I’ll ask her in the morning. What’s one more night of foot rot?” I shrug.

  “So, she can return you?”

  “I can return, yes,” I say as we step into the rose-colored crystal ball. It detaches from the palace and floats over to our turret.

  He looks pensive, his brows drawing together before he looks at me and says, “There is something I’m missing.”

  “You’re so astute,” I say and smile unable to help how thrilled I am. “That’s such a wonderful quality.”

  “Now I know you are not telling me something. What are you not telling me?” he asks as our crystal bubble elevator opens to our suite and we start up the stairs to our room.

  “Shh, everyone’s sleeping,” I whisper, and he narrows his eyes at me.

  “Tell me in a whisper then,” he whispers.

  “Patience,” I whisper back, and we walk up the stairs to the top of the tower to our suite.

  When he closes the door behind us, he says, “Dorothy,” in a warning tone that makes me giggle.

  “I don’t want you to get mad,” I admit.

  “Why would I get mad?” he says, already getting mad.

  “Because I think it’s good news, but I know you won’t.”

  “What is it?”

  “So… Guess what?” I say, hoping to evoke some enthusiasm from him. It’s not working.

  “No. Tell me what,” he says, getting irritated.

  “Turns out these crazy boots stuck on my feet can take me anywhere. I just have to click my heels together three times, say where I want to go, take three steps forward, and I’m there.”

  “What?” he
gasps.

  “I know! This whole time I could have gone home on my own.”

  “That is wonderful news! Why would this anger me?”

  “Because it changes things.”

  “What does it change?”

  “I can come back. Duh.”

  “But…” he says and stops. He hadn’t thought of that. Now’s the moment of truth. Does he want to be with me or not?

  “But what?”

  “It is still not safe for you here.”

  “So, I’ll go and then I’ll come back. I’m just going to get some stuff I need to get, tell my family I’m alive, and then I’ll come back,” I say and shrug.

  “No. No, no, no, no, no. You cannot do that. Quelala will kill you. Those boots will not protect you from him.”

  “He won’t kill me. He’d turn me and make me marry him,” I say and shudder in disgust.

  “That is worse!” he says, exasperated.

  “But he won’t! I’ll kill him first. His compulsion doesn’t work on me. And to be honest, I’m not even sure he wants to turn me. I just know he wants me,” I say and shudder in disgust again.

  “Dorothy, you cannot return to Oz,” he says, stressing out. “Not for a long while if ever. We have been over this—I will die soon,” he says and gets teary, losing his composure.

  “You’re not dying, and neither am I. It’s all good, dude.”

  “What? ‘It’s all good, dude,’ did you say? All good? No, it is not all good. It is all terrible.”

  “Not for long. I’ve got it covered.”

  “Dorothy, if you love me, you will not come back.”

  “What?” I say, so pissed he went there.

  “I mean it. You promised me. I need you to be safe. You are not safe here. I know you think you are, but you are not. Neither am I. Leave this place and never look back. You promised me,” he begs.

  I know he means it, and I know he loves me, but I can’t promise that. I didn’t and I won’t. But I will keep the promise I made to him. And after a week or two there, I’ll return with supplies and barrels of holy water, and he’ll be happy to see me.

  “I won’t break my promise to you, Nick. I’ll go.”

  “Do not just come right back either.”

  “I won’t just come right back.” I’ll come back a week later. Seven days is an ample amount of time.

  “I love you, Dorothy. Too much to ask you to live here.”

  “I know you’re not asking me, and I might take offense if I didn’t know you loved me more than your own happiness.”

  “You know I do.”

  “I know. But I love you the same way,” I say and shrug. When we kill Quelala, he’ll be glad I returned. Until then, he can be as salty as he wants. Because just like the rest of us, there are things he will just have to accept and me living in Oz with him is one of those things.

  For the first time, this feels right. The thought of leaving forever felt so wrong it broke my heart to think of. I knew I had to leave, but I didn’t want to never return. Now I can, and everything will work out just the way it’s supposed to. I’ll go, but I’ll come back with enough holy water to douse this entire realm ten times over.

  He leans in and kisses me, pulling me close to him in a loving embrace, and I kiss him back with everything I am. This time, there is a promise of a future together, there is a possibility for us, and I will do everything in my power to make that future happen.

  Oz showed us the future, and we were in Royal Winkie garb, floating in a bubble through an Emerald City that was a blend of our worlds. The walls of the city were open, Oz was safe, and we were together. That’s the future I want and deep down I know I can have it. It’s hovering right there in front of us, and not even Nick will stop me from seizing it.

  32

  Home Again—but not for long

  Even though I got no sleep, it was worth it. After spending the rest of the night entangled in each other, when the sun rose, Nick and I drifted off to sleep. Quelala haunted my dreams, telling me I’ll be his soon, that he will give me anything my heart could ever desire, including Nick. Everything about the dream was super creepy, but when he said that, I just laughed. It’s hilarious to me he’s telling me I’m his true love and in the same breath saying he doesn’t care if I keep my boyfriend. Megalomania is so gross.

  No matter how many times I tell him to go away and leave me alone forever, he keeps coming back and putting sick visions into my mind, trying to entice me, but I do not want to see Nick and Quelala getting it on, and I have no desire to be the meat in a Nick and Quelala sandwich. I swear I almost barfed in my sleep. If I had woken up in a pool of my puke, it wouldn’t have surprised me in the least. The dreams eventually stopped, and we woke up at about noon, came downstairs, and found Werelion and Ardie sitting with Glinda in the garden having brunch. Toto is in heaven sitting on Glinda’s lap while she feeds him strips of bacon.

  “Morning!” Glinda says, and I kiss her cheek hello before I sit. “Ardie was just telling me you have the golden cap.”

  “Yeah, you want it?”

  “You read my mind.”

  “It’s yours.”

  “Wonderful,” she says and takes a sip of her mimosa.

  Nick and I serve ourselves as Ardie asks, “What will you ask the vampire bat monkeys for?”

  “First, I will ask them to return you to Emerald City, so you do not have to travel so far on foot. Then I will ask them to carry Werelion to the Shifter Forest so he may take his place as King, and for my third request I will ask them to return Nicky to Winkie Land so he may begin his rule.”

  “Thank you, Glinda,” Nick says, grateful not to have to walk for a month. We need to take care of this transportation issue. That’ll be on the list of things to work on when I come back.

  “If you would like to use your third request for yourself,” Werelion says, “I can walk back to Shifter Forest—it is not too far from here.”

  “Pish-tosh! I have no need for their services, but I plan on giving the Vampire Bat Monkey King the cap so that no one may enslave them again. And besides, I see it as a bit of diplomacy. We’ve got our own little United Nations going here,” she says, and I chuckle while Nick, Ardie, and Werelion look confused.

  “All that’s missing is everybody’s favorite witch, Gayelette,” I say and Glinda groans.

  “Ugh, that woman.”

  “You do not get along?” Ardie asks.

  “No, we do not. We were friends once, but she turned out to be not my kind of person, if you know what I mean.”

  “I do not think I do,” Ardie says, his brows drawn together in confusion.

  “Her scruples are in question.”

  “And she’s responsible for this vampire plague, as least partially,” I add.

  “How?” Glinda asks, and she’s the one who looks confused this time.

  “I heard she took Quelala from his mother and raised him to be her husband and king.”

  “She did not take him as a child because she wanted him to be her husband. She took him at his mother’s request, to hide him.”

  “Hide him? From who?” Nick asks, surprised to hear it.

  “His father if I recall. Or perhaps it was his uncle. Anyway, there was some prophecy he would take over as King of the Realms if he could find his true love—a magical witch impervious to his powers—and he would lead the realms into darkness or some horrific thing. I can’t remember the exact details. But his mother came here when he was a boy, went to Gayelette, and asked her to take her son because his life was in danger. As he got older, he became very attractive and you know the rest. Their relationship was sick if you ask me, but she married him, then she stole my shoes, then she threw him out, and then the plague started.”

  “I thought he turned the Vampire Witch of the East and then she threw him out.”

  “Perhaps that’s the order. Either way, she didn’t start it. He did. But her morals are in question for many other reasons we needn’t go into.”


  So, I won’t lie and pretend that prophecy tidbit doesn’t scare me. The heat of Nick’s worried gaze bores into the side of my face, but I can’t look his way.

  “How about a change of subject?” Glinda suggests. “Are you returning to Kansas today, Dorothy?”

  “Yes,” Nick answers for me.

  “Ah, right,” she says with a smirk. “Then let us get on with our day. I must go dress. If I wander the palace in my pajamas all day, my military will think I’ve gone soft and try to take over Quadling. Such ambitious young women. Why don’t you gather your things when you finish eating and let’s say in three hours we’ll meet back here in the garden to see you off?”

  “Three hours is perfect,” Nick says, and she smirks again as she disappears in a puff of rose-colored smoke.

  “She can return you to Kansas?” Werelion asks, sad to hear the news.

  “Dorothy can return herself,” Nick answers for me again.

  “Dude, I have a functioning mouth and vocal cords that work. I can answer my own questions,” I say irritated, but when he looks at me with sad eyes, surprised at my harsh words, guilt floods my chest and my heart clenches. “Sorry. I’m sorry,” I say as I deflate. Nick wraps his arms around me, and I hug him back, so tight.

  “But how can she return herself?” Werelion asks, perplexed.

  “Do you want to explain?” Nick asks me and I shake my head no, not wanting to let go of him. “The boots she wears can bring her home if she clicks her heels together three times, says the name of the place she wants to go, and then takes three steps forward. On the third step she will be in Kansas again.”

  “All this time,” Ardie muses.

  “But that means you can come back!” Werelion bursts with happiness.

  “No, she cannot. Not as long as Quelala is alive.”

  “But he is immortal,” Werelion says.

  “Exactly.”

  “Then we will have to destroy him. Every being has a weakness. He must have one too,” Ardie suggests.

  “Holy water. It’s the only thing that can kill him. And it comes from my realm.”

  “There is still some left in the bag from Gayelette. If Dorothy will leave it with us, we will save it for Quelala,” Nick says.