JEDSON: The Ruins of Emblem

by Brent, Cora

  Obviously this had all been arranged by Cadence to make me feel important and cherished. My friend understood I didn’t have a tribe like this in my life and she wanted to share hers with me. I wondered about those who weren’t here today and thought how astonishing it must be to be part of such an extensive family network. I surveyed the room that was filled with happy chatter and food and love and thought about how Cadence was so lucky, rich beyond imagining. Having all these amazing women in her corner to call on whenever she needed them. What I wouldn’t give to have the same.

  “Leah.” Saylor Gentry wrapped an arm around my shoulders and urged me to follow her with Truly not far behind.

  I was brought into the master bedroom and seated in front of a vanity that was accessorized in the corners with pictures of Cadence and her sisters and a striking man I recognized as Cadence’s dad because once he’d stopped by the Dirty Cactus with his brothers.

  Truly laid a gentle hand on my head and sifted through the strands of uneven hair. “I’m not a professional, sweetheart, but I think I can make this look a little better.”

  I gulped. I’d never been particularly vain, never spent too much time in front of the mirror. But now it was hard to look in one. With my protective canopy of long hair missing, my face was wide-eyed and exposed, a few visible scratches on my right cheek adding to the exhibit of last night’s terror.

  Tears filled my eyes and I nodded. While Truly carefully worked with a pair of pink scissors Saylor held my hand and told me funny stories about the girlhood antics of her three daughters and their exasperated father, Cord. I loved hearing about what it was like to grow up in a home like this with a mother like Saylor. I couldn’t imagine a better fate.

  “Beautiful,” declared Truly, scrutinizing her efforts from every angle. She created a part on the side for dramatic flair and used a curling iron to give the look more depth. Although it would take some getting used to, the results didn’t displease me. My hair, which ended just below my chin line, now looked like a stylish intentional bob instead of a tragic victim of a spiteful Edward Scissorshands.

  “Do you like it?” Saylor asked as she grinned at me in the mirror.

  “I do.” Something fell out of my hand with a thud and Saylor looked at the floor to figure out what it was.

  “It’s St. Christopher,” I explained as she examined it in her palm. “I’m not Catholic but a friend of mine gave it to me. Maybe it’s silly but when I hold it I feel a little safer.”

  Actually I held it because I wanted to feel closer to Ryan. Those emotions still needed to be examined. Some other time.

  Saylor was so charmed she insisted on stringing a silver bracelet chain through the medal’s loop so I could wear it on my wrist. I had no objection. I liked being able to see it at all times.

  Truly and Saylor escorted me back to the dining room and announced a dramatic reveal. There were a whole lot of exclamations and even some clapping and while the reaction might have qualified as excessive I enjoyed all their attention.

  Cadence’s father strolled in right into the middle of all that and appeared baffled. “Is today a holiday I didn’t know about?”

  His wife planted a kiss on his lips. “Meeting of the coven.”

  Cadence ran over to greet her father.

  “Where’s your boy?” he asked her.

  “At home cooking me dinner.”

  “Tristan can cook?”

  “I didn’t say it was going to edible. I’ll probably scam Mom out of some leftovers before I go.”

  Cord accepted hugs from his other two daughters and lifted his baby granddaughter in his arms. Evening approached and the other guests began to depart. Paige had a hot date with her boyfriend. Truly looked forward to a quiet night at home with her family. Jenny and Izzy were meeting the family patriarch at a fancy steakhouse. I received the same hugs on their way out the door as anyone else in the family.

  When Cami and Cassie announced that they also needed to get going Cord was dismayed but Saylor pacified him with a promise they’d have fun right here all alone in the empty nest. Cord and Saylor fascinated me with the open displays of marital affection that appeared to go unnoticed by their daughters.

  “I’m stealing the leftover chicken wings,” Cadence announced, already piling them on a plate and covering it with tinfoil.

  “And I call dibs on the remains of Jenny’s caramel cake,” Cassie said.

  Cami shrugged. “I’ll pass on everything. I’ve still got baby weight to lose.” She retrieved her daughter from the child’s grandfather, who pouted when he had to hand her over.

  When we were leaving Cord Gentry extended his hand to me. “Your hair looks nice, Leah,” he said. “You’d never know what happened.”

  His wife threw him a look.

  Cord shrugged. “What did I do? Why can’t I say that?”

  “Next time try tact, Daddy,” Cadence said before squeezing him in a hug.

  Leaving the Gentry house was nothing like leaving my house. There I always inhaled deeply to breathe fresh Luanne-free air as soon as I was beyond the front door. Here I wistfully looked over my shoulder at a family home and wished I was still inside.

  “I hope I didn’t blindside you,” Cadence said when we were back in her car.

  “Not at all,” I assured her. “I like the world you come from. Thank you for showing it to me.”

  She was touched. “They all loved you. Come back and visit anytime.”

  I smiled. “I’ll accept an invitation anytime.”

  On the ride back to Emblem we were in the middle of snacking on chicken wings when Cadence shot me a sly look.

  “You seriously look hot,” she said. “You ought to send a selfie to Ryan Jedson so he can see for himself.”

  “No way,” I balked, snubbing the pleasant flutter in my stomach at the mention of Ryan’s name.

  Complicated indeed.

  I hadn’t forgotten our wicked argument at the Cactus before the Gina incident. I also couldn’t ignore the way my mind kept returning to the wild night at his house. Or the fact that there were some serious holes in our knowledge about each other.

  No matter what I did Ryan was in my head. He was in my heart. There was no word for what we were to each other, no precedent for the troubling saga we shared.

  But returning to the Emblem town limits while still basking in the warmth of Cadence’s family, I marveled over all the possibilities in life.

  Perhaps at the end of the thoroughly messed up scheme of things, Ryan and I were supposed to find each other.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Leah

  My father noticed nothing. Scarcely nodded when I said hello on Sunday morning while he buttered a piece of bread.

  “Do you know what happened to the toaster?” he asked with some irritation. “The handle won’t stick in the down position.”

  “I haven’t touched the toaster.” I stood beside the sink and pushed my newly shorn hair behind my ears. Getting used to it was proving to be a slow process.

  My father looked at me then and paused, realizing something was different, uncertain about what it might be.

  “Do you like my hair, Dad?” My voice became unintentionally sharp.

  “It’s shorter,” he acknowledged. “Looks good on you.” He took a bite of his bread before moving over in front of the kitchen door to stare up at the wall clock.

  “Morning, beautiful,” he greeted an immortalized Luanne.

  I would vomit where I stood if he genuflected in front of the clock. My parents’ marriage had always puzzled me with its painfully obvious one sidedness. Had Eddie died first my mother would have stuffed his belongings into a trash bag that very morning and flitted off to Scottsdale for a shopping spree in the afternoon. Instead she was the one who died first and became a saint worshipped by a congregation of one. Many a time I’d been tempted to rip that clock from the wall and smash it with a mallet. Today just might be that day.

  My father eased his creaking bod
y into a kitchen chair. He looked a bit sharper this morning, wearing a button down red shirt and a pair of khakis instead of an old robe or tattered pajamas. That gave me a little bit of hope.

  “Maybe you could stop by the bar this week,” I said. “Everyone would love to see you. All your old timers still ask about you all the time.”

  That wasn’t quite true. Most customers had given up on asking after Eddie. The Dirty Cactus had changed managers and owners numerous times in its decades of existing. The bar was considered permanent but we weren’t.

  “Afraid I won’t get a chance to do that,” he said, examining his slice of buttered bread like it was the Rosetta Stone. This was one of those times when I wondered how much of him had been lost after Luanne’s death.

  “Well, then maybe we could do something today. Just you and me. We could drive up to Phoenix or go see a movie in Grande.”

  He was already turning me down before I finished speaking. “I’ve got three more episodes on my show left to watch and then Nancy is stopping by with an apple pie.”

  “Okay.” I shouldn’t feel hurt. If I combed through my childhood memories I would find very few that included quality time with my father. I couldn’t help but contrast Eddie Brandeis to Cord Gentry, who beamed with proud delight at the sight of his grown daughters and jumped at any chance to be with them.

  “Don’t forget, you have an appointment with Dr. Hillingham on Wednesday at four thirty,” I reminded him. “I’ll drive you. Sharon already agreed to run the bar until I get back.”

  Dr. Hillingham was the psychiatrist who’d been treating my father ever since he refused to eat for a week following Luanne’s funeral.

  But Eddie wasn’t thinking about Dr. Hillingham. He was about to throw a curveball in my direction.

  “I’ve been considering selling the Cactus,” he said, tapping his finger to his lips.

  “Selling? What are you talking about? Since when?”

  He shrugged, balled up a little piece of the bread dough and popped it into his mouth. He reminded me of Steven Pike when he did weird stuff with his food like that but my father’s table manners had always been unsatisfactory. Luanne used to say she was glad he wasn’t home for dinner six nights a week because watching him eat made her sick.

  “It was just an idea,” he said. He abruptly tossed his bread into the trash and stood up, pressing his fingers to his head. “Look, I’ve got to go lay down for a little while.”

  I got the impression he was trying to escape. His statement about the bar made no sense. I had approached the topic of selling the place after Luanne’s death but Eddie couldn’t bear to talk about it. So I’d thrown every scrap of effort I had into trying to make it work. Now he wakes up one morning and begins babbling about selling. I didn’t get it.

  “Feel better,” I told him.

  “Have a good day, Leah,” he responded before shuffling out of the kitchen and down the hallway.

  Ryan had shown up at the Cactus last night even though I assured him I was ready to return and could handle the Saturday night crowd. Tristan and Cadence had come by as well, bringing Steven Pike with them. Ryan took a seat at their table, reminding me of that first night he’d walked through the door and sent my world spinning.

  I could feel him watching me but I didn’t go out of my way to talk to him, at least in front of Terry. I’d apologized to Terry profusely the second he showed up to work. I told him I was sorry, that I valued him as a friend and an employee and I hated that he’d been hurt.

  “It’s all right, Leah,” he said. “I think if either of us wanted to make something more happen then we would have done it already.”

  That was true. Nonetheless I should have initiated that conversation far sooner. I needed to get away from this bad habit of avoiding painful topics. Not just with Terry. With my friends. With my father. With Ryan.

  And most of all with myself.

  “Can you forgive me?” I asked Terry.

  “Already did.” He nudged me playfully with his elbow in a friendly way and a weight lifted off my chest. Terry wasn’t quitting. That chapter was closed and we could move on.

  As for Ryan, our narrative remained only half written.

  My friends proved to be loyal and sensitive to my wishes. Word about what happened to me had not traveled and although a few people exclaimed over my hair I was able to brush it off as a deliberate choice. The idea of all of Emblem gazing at me with pity was too much to take. However, I had decided the next time Gina and Vance were unwise enough to show up in my bar I would brace myself to deal with Chief Englewood and call the Emblem PD. When I said that to Misty she got a funny look on her face and coughed into her hand.

  Although we hadn’t said much to each other, Ryan hung around until closing time, long after the rest of the group was gone. He even remained until I’d locked up and got behind the wheel, raising his hand in a farewell wave as I drove the short distance home, leaving me to wonder where he and I would go from here. I had no idea.

  The kitchen clock was getting on my damn nerves as I stood in the empty room and ate a granola bar. I looked up into my mother’s face behind the Roman numeral dials. I extended my middle finger, thinking that a cell in the prison up the road probably had better atmosphere than Luanne’s house.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket and I was surprised to see a text from Misty. The bar was closed today but she said she was in the neighborhood and wanted me to meet her there. I snatched my keys and hurried over to find Misty already waiting in the parking lot.

  “Can we go inside?” she asked. She carried a shopping bag and kept chewing one of her acrylic nails.

  After I ushered her into the empty bar she spent a moment looking in all the corners, which was weird because there was no one here but us.

  “Just wanted to make sure,” she said.

  “Make sure of what? What’s in the bag?”

  “Something I couldn’t give you with a bunch of people around,” Misty said. She withdrew a pink shoebox, which she presented to me with a proud smile. “Open it.”

  I looked in the box. I blinked. “What the hell is it?”

  “The scalp of Gina Scarpetti.”

  “WHAT?”

  Misty laughed. “Relax. She’s not completely bald.”

  I stared in fascination at the contents. The over processed hair was clumped in a sad blonde pile. I imagined how Gina must have howled as it was removed. I smiled. “How the hell did you pull this off?”

  “I can’t claim all the credit. I only helped with the execution.”

  “What did she say?”

  “Who, Gina? Fuck, I don’t know. Something like ‘Help help, without my nasty ass hair I won’t look as trashy in my ugly dresses.’ I really can’t remember for sure.”

  “Holy shit.”

  Misty crossed her arms. “The bitch had to pay for what she did to you. So she lost her hair. Big deal. It’ll grow back. And that dumpy boyfriend of hers lost a few teeth. He may have also lost a pair of underpants after Ryan was finished scaring the literal shit out of him.”

  “Ryan?” That threw me for a loop.

  “Yeah.” She puckered her mouth. “I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that part.”

  “Ryan Jedson was with you?”

  “It was Ryan’s show on Friday night. I only insisted on coming along. That boy’s got a taste for vengeance. I have to admit I respect that.” Misty took the box and shoved it back into the bag. “Now I’m going to go burn this in the nearest dumpster and we will never speak of it again.” She smiled. “Look, I know I said something was off with Ryan and I still think he’s keeping a secret but he’s got some finer points and he’s totally crazy about you so I can cut him some slack.”

  “Good to know but I do not agree at all that Ryan Jedson is crazy about me.”

  Misty responded with a smirk. “Whatever you say. By the way, I didn’t know if you remembered that I have the day off tomorrow. My mom’s getting her gall bladder ripped out in
Grande so I’ll be there all day and I’m planning to stay at her house after that.”

  “Of course.” I gave her a hug for comfort. “I’ll be thinking about you and hoping everything goes well.”

  She hugged me back, then pulled away to look at me with an arched eyebrow. “You ought to know that Ryan’s going to be here tomorrow. Mondays are slow but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be all alone after...well, you know. So I talked to him and he said he’d come in.”

  Ryan Jedson didn’t need to hang out at the bar on the slowest night just to cater to my fears. Plus I was sure he had more profitable ways to spend his time than tending to a handful of customers who tipped with loose change.

  Misty departed and took Gina Scarpetti’s hair with her. I tried to imagine Ryan and Misty creeping around Emblem the other night on a revenge quest. It was an odd picture. I laughed, took a fond look around the Cactus, and then locked up once more.

  The rest of the day stretched out with nothing on my schedule. I would have happily spent time with my father if only he didn’t tend to retreat from even a simple conversation with me. He had his Netflix shows and his occasional card games and his daily interactions with Mrs. Albertson.

  My stomach rumbled, reminding me I’d only eaten a granola bar for breakfast. The desire for food reminded me of the news about the Emblem Diner being sold. It would be nice to have a restaurant on Main Street once more. I just couldn’t guess who would have been interested in a crumbling restaurant in a fading prison town.

  I froze and stared out at Main Street.

  A bright orange pickup truck with an American flag secured to a pole in the bed drove by. Jarvis Pratt poked his grizzled head out of the driver’s side window and waved at me. I waved back.

  There was someone with a deep connection to Emblem who evidently had more money than he knew what to do with. Someone who’d already mentioned making a killing in real estate. And the sale of the diner happened to coincide with the sales of several other long shuttered businesses in town. If Ryan was behind the real estate buy up of Emblem’s lost enterprises then I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just come right out and say so. I couldn’t be the only one in town able to connect the dots.