0373134266 (R)

by MELANIE MILBURNE

  It was just a kiss. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been kissed before. She’d had plenty of kisses. Heaps. Dozens. Maybe hundreds... Well, maybe things had been a bit light on that just lately. She couldn’t quite recall the last time Myles had kissed her. Not properly. Not passionately, as if he couldn’t get enough of her taste and touch. Over the last few weeks their kisses had turned into a rather perfunctory peck on the cheek at hello and goodbye. And as to touching her breasts, well, Myles wasn’t good at breasts. He didn’t seem to understand she didn’t like being pinched or squeezed, like he was someone checking a piece of fruit for ripeness.

  Jaz let out a frustrated breath. Why did Jake have to be the expert on kissing her and handling her breasts? It wasn’t fair. She didn’t want him to have such sensual power over her. He could turn her on by just looking at her with that glinting dark gaze.

  Of course it would be so much worse now. Now he had actually kissed her and touched her breasts and her lady land. God, she’d almost come on the spot when he’d cupped her down there. How could one man’s touch have such an effect on her? She didn’t even like him. She loathed him. He was her arch-enemy. He wasn’t just a thorn in her side. He was the whole damn rose bush. Unpruned. He was everything she avoided in a partner.

  But he sure could kiss. Jaz had to give him that. His lips had done things to hers no man had ever done before. His tongue had lit a blazing fire in her core and it hadn’t gone out. The hot coals were smouldering there even now. Her body felt restless. Feverish. Hungry. Starving for more of his electrifying caresses. What would it feel like to have him deep inside her? Moving in her body in that hectic rush for release?

  Sex had always been a complicated issue for her. She put it down to the fact her first experience of it had been so twisted and tangled up with shame. She had taken a drink from a young man at the party, more to get back at Jake for rejecting her. She had flirted with the man, hoping Jake would see that not all men found her repulsive. But she hadn’t factored in the amount of alcohol she had already consumed or her overwrought emotional state. She couldn’t quite remember how she had ended up in one of the downstairs bathrooms with the man, sweaty and smelling of wine as he tore at her clothes and groped and slobbered all over her until she’d finally got away. All she could remember was the shame—the sickening shame of not being in control.

  Now whenever she had sex that same shame lurked at the back of her mind. Although she enjoyed some aspects of making love—the touching and being needed—she hadn’t always been able to relax enough to orgasm. Not that any of her partners had seemed to notice. She might not be a proper Ravensdale but she sure could act when she needed to. Pretending to orgasm every time hadn’t been her intention. But once had turned into twice and then it had been far easier than explaining.

  How could she explain her behaviour that night? The rational part of her knew the man at the party had some responsibility to acquire proper consent before he touched her, but how did she know if she’d given it or not? It would be his word against hers, that was, if he’d actually remembered. She’d seen him the next morning as the overnight guests were leaving but he had looked right through her as if he had never seen her before. Had she agreed to kiss him in the bathroom or had he come in on her and seized the opportunity to assault her? She didn’t know and it was the not knowing that was the most shameful thing for her.

  Jaz wasn’t into victim blaming but when it came to herself she struggled to forgive herself for allowing something like that to happen. She had buried her shame behind a ‘don’t mess with me’ façade and a sharp tongue but deep inside she was still that shocked and terrified girl.

  And she had a scary feeling if she spent too much time alone with Jake Ravensdale he would begin to see it.

  * * *

  Jaz was doing some work on Holly’s dress in her room and when her phone rang she picked it up without thinking. ‘Jasmine Connolly.’

  ‘Jaz. Finally you answered,’ Myles said. ‘Why on earth haven’t you returned my calls?’

  ‘Oh, hi, Myles,’ she said breezily. ‘How are you?’

  He released a whooshing breath. ‘How do you think I am? I turn my back for a moment and my fiancée is suddenly engaged to someone else.’

  Jaz smiled as she put her needle and thread down. It was working. It was actually working. Myles was insanely jealous. She had never heard him speak so possessively before. ‘You were the one who suggested we take a break.’

  ‘Yes, but dating other people is not the same as getting engaged to them. We’d only been apart twenty-four hours and you hooked up with him. No one falls in love that quickly. No one, and especially not Jake bloody Ravensdale.’

  Jaz hadn’t really taken in that bit. The bit where Myles had said they were free to date other people. She’d thought he was just having some breathing space. Her ‘engagement’ to Jake wouldn’t have the same power if Myles was seeing someone else. What if he fell in love? What if he got engaged to someone else? ‘Are you seeing other people?’

  There was a short silence.

  ‘I had a drink with an old friend but I haven’t got myself bloody engaged to them,’ he said in a sulky tone.

  Jaz twirled a tendril of her hair around her finger as she walked about the room with the phone pressed to her ear. How cool was this, hearing Myles sound all wounded and affronted by her moving on so quickly? Didn’t that prove he still loved her? The irony was he’d been the first to say those three magical little words. But he hadn’t said it for weeks. Months, even. But a couple more weeks of having Jake Ravensdale brandished in his face would do the trick. Myles would soon be begging her to take him back. ‘I have to go,’ she said. ‘Jake is taking me out to dinner.’

  ‘I give it a week,’ Myles said. ‘Two at the most. He won’t stick around any longer than that. You mark my words.’

  Two is all I need. The winter wedding expo in the Cotswolds was the coming weekend. It was her stepping stone to the big time. She hoped to expand her business and what better way than to attend with a heart-stopping, handsome fiancé in tow? There was no way she wanted to go alone. She would look tragic if she went without a fiancé. She couldn’t bear to be considered a fraud, making ‘happy ever after’ dresses but failing to find love herself. But if she took Jake Ravensdale as her fiancé —the poster boy for pick-ups—it would give her serious street cred. Besides, it would be the perfect payback to him for humiliating her. It would be unmitigated torture for commitment-phobe Jake to be dragged around a ballroom full of wedding finery.

  She smiled a secret smile. Yes, staying ‘engaged’ to Jake suited her just fine.

  * * *

  Jake was scrolling through his emails in the library—thankfully none were from Emma Madden—when Jaz came sashaying in, bringing with her the scent of flowers and temptation. His body sprang to attention when she approached the desk where he was sitting. She had changed out of her yoga pants and top and was now wearing skin-tight jeans, knee-length leather boots and a baby-blue cashmere sweater with a patterned scarf artfully gathered around her slim neck. Her honey-brown hair was loose about her shoulders and her beautiful mouth was glistening with lip-gloss, drawing his gaze like a magnet. He could still taste her. Could still feel the way her tongue had danced with his in sensual heat. He saw her gaze drift to his mouth as if she were recalling that erotic interlude. ‘Forgiven me yet?’ he said.

  She tossed her hair back over her shoulders in a haughty manner, giving him an ice-cool glare. ‘For?’

  ‘You know exactly what for.’

  She shifted her gaze, picked a pen off the desk and turned it over in her slender hands as if it was something of enormous interest to her. ‘I was wondering what you’re up to next weekend.’

  He leaned back in the leather chair and balanced one ankle over his thigh. ‘My calendar is pretty heavily booked. What did you have in mind?’

  Her grey-blue eyes came back to his. ‘I have a function I need to attend in Gloucester. I was hoping you
’d come with me—you know, to keep up appearances.’

  ‘What sort of function?’

  ‘Just a drinks thing.’

  Jake steepled his fingers against his nose and mouth. The little minx was up to something but he would play along. He might even get another kiss or two out of her. ‘Sure, why not?’

  She put the pen down. ‘I’m going to head back to London now.’

  He felt a swooping sensation of disappointment in his gut. It would be deadly boring staying here without her to spar with. They hadn’t had any time together without anyone else around for years. He hadn’t realised how much he was enjoying it until the prospect of it ending now loomed. But there would be other opportunities as long as this charade continued. And he was going to make the most of them. ‘You’re not staying till morning?’

  ‘No, I have stuff to do at the boutique first thing and I don’t want to get caught up in traffic.’

  Jake suspected she was wary of spending any more time with him in case she betrayed her desire for him. He wasn’t being overly smug about it. He could see it as plain as day. It mirrored his raging lust for her. Not that he was going to act on it but it sure was a heap of fun making her think he was. ‘Are you going to see Myles?’

  Her gaze slipped out of reach of his. ‘Not yet. We agreed on a month’s break.’

  ‘A lot can happen in a month.’

  Her lips tightened as if she was trying to remove the sensation of his on them. ‘I know what I’m doing.’

  ‘Do you?’

  Her eyes clashed with his. ‘I know you think relationships are a complete waste of time but commitment is important to me.’

  ‘He’s not the right man for you,’ Jake said.

  Her hands went to her slim hips in a combative pose. ‘And I suppose you think you’re an expert on who exactly would be?’

  He pushed back his chair to come around to her side of the desk. She took half a step backwards but the antique globe was in the way. Her eyes drifted to his mouth and her darting tongue took a layer of lip-gloss off her lips. ‘If Myles was the right man for you he’d be down here right now with his hands at my throat.’

  Her eyes glittered with enmity. ‘Not all men resort to Neanderthal tactics to claim a partner.’

  He took a fistful of her silky hair and gently anchored her. ‘If I was in love with you I would do whatever it took to get you back.’

  Her eyelids went to half-mast as her gaze zeroed in on his mouth for a moment. ‘Men like you don’t know the meaning of the word love. Lust is the only currency you deal in.’

  Jake glided his hand down from her hair to cup her cheek, his thumb moving over the creamy perfection of her skin like the slow arm of a metronome. He watched as her pupils enlarged like widening pools of black ink, her mouth parting, her soft, milky breath coming out in a soundless gasp. ‘There’s nothing wrong with a bit of lust. It’s the litmus test of a good relationship.’

  ‘You don’t have relationships,’ she said, still looking at his mouth. ‘You have encounters that don’t last longer than it takes to change a light bulb.’

  He gave a slanted smile. ‘Who needs a light bulb when we’ve got this sort of electricity going on?’

  She pursed her lips. ‘Don’t even think about it.’

  He brushed his thumb across her bunched up lips. ‘I think about it all the time. How it would feel to have you scraping your nails down my back as I make you come.’

  She gave a tiny shudder. Blinked. Swallowed. ‘I’d much rather scrape them down your arrogant face.’

  Jake smiled. ‘Liar. You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you? You’re thinking about how hot I make you feel. How turned on. I bet if I slipped my fingers into you now you’d be dripping wet for me.’

  Twin pools of pink flagged her cheekbones. ‘It’s not going to happen, Jake,’ she said through tight lips. ‘I’m engaged to another man.’

  ‘Maybe you’ll feel different once you’re wearing my ring. I’ll pick you up at lunchtime tomorrow at the boutique. Be ready at two p.m.’

  Her eyes flashed with venom. ‘I have an appointment with a client.’

  ‘Cancel it.’

  She looked as if she was going to argue the point but then she blew out a hiss of a breath and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her for good measure.

  Barely a minute later he heard her car start with a roar and then the scream of her tyres as she flew down the driveway.

  He smiled and turned back to his laptop. Yep. A heap of fun.

  CHAPTER SIX

  JAZ HAD JUST finished with a customer who had purchased one of her hand-embroidered veils for her daughter when Jake came into the boutique. The woman smiled up at him as he politely held the door open for her. ‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘I hear congratulations are in order. You’ve got yourself a keeper there.’ She nodded towards Jaz. ‘She’ll make a gorgeous bride. When’s the big day?’

  Jake smiled one of his laidback smiles. ‘We haven’t set a date yet, have we, sweetheart?’

  ‘No, not yet,’ Jaz said.

  ‘I can’t wait to see the ring,’ the woman said. ‘I bet you’ll give her a big one.’

  Jake’s dark-blue eyes glinted as they glanced at Jaz. ‘You bet I will.’

  Jaz felt a tremor go through her private parts at his innuendo. Did the man have no shame? She was trying to act as cool and professional as she could and one look at her from those glittering midnight-blue eyes and she felt like she was going to melt into a sizzling pool at his feet. She wouldn’t have mentioned anything about their ‘engagement’ to the customer but it seemed there wasn’t a person in the whole of London who hadn’t heard fast-living playboy Jake Ravensdale was getting himself hitched.

  The woman left with a little wave, and the door with its tinkling bell closed. Jake came towards the counter where Jaz had barricaded herself. ‘So this is your stamping ground,’ he said, glancing around at the dresses hanging on the free-standing rack. ‘How much of a profit are you turning over?’

  She gave him a flinty look. ‘I don’t need you to pull apart my business.’

  His one-shoulder shrug was nonchalant. ‘Just asking.’

  ‘You’re not just asking,’ Jaz said. ‘You’re looking for an opportunity to tell me I’m rubbish at running my business, just like you keep pointing out how rubbish I am at running my personal life.’

  ‘You have to admit three engagements—four, if you count ours—is a lot of bad decisions.’

  She gripped the edge of the counter. ‘And I suppose you’ve never made a bad decision in the whole of your charmed life, have you?’

  ‘I’ve made a few.’

  ‘Such as?’

  He looked at her for a long moment, his customary smile fading and a slight frown taking its place. ‘It was crass of me to bring those girls to my room that night. There were other ways I could’ve handled the situation.’

  Jaz refused to be taken in by an admission of regret seven years too late. ‘Did you sleep with them?’

  ‘No.’

  There was a pregnant pause.

  ‘Where did you go after that?’ he said. ‘I didn’t see you for the rest of the night.’

  Jaz looked down at the glass-topped counter where all the garters were arranged. ‘I went back to my room.’

  He reached across the counter to take one of her hands in his. ‘Look at me, Jasmine.’

  She slowly brought her gaze up to his, affecting the expression of a bored teenager preparing for a stern lecture from a parent. ‘What?’

  His eyes moved between each of hers as if he was searching for something hidden behind the cool screen of her gaze. She could feel the warm press of his hand against hers, his long, strong, masculine fingers entwining with hers, making her insides slip and shift. She could smell the sharp citrus of his aftershave. She could see the dark shadow of his regrowth peppered along his jaw. She could see every fine line on his mouth, the way his lips were set in a serious line—such a c
hange from his usual teasing slant. He began to move the pad of his thumb in a stroking fashion over the back of her hand, the movements drugging her senses.

  ‘It wasn’t that I wasn’t attracted to you,’ he said. ‘I just didn’t want to make things awkward with you being such a part of the family. That and the fact you were too young to know what you were doing.’

  Jaz pulled her hand away. ‘Then why lead me on as if you were serious about me? That was just plain cruel.’

  He let out a deep sigh. ‘Yeah, I guess it was.’

  She studied his features for a moment, wondering if this too was an act. How could she believe he was sorry for how he’d made her think he was falling in love with her? He had been so charming towards her, telling her how beautiful she was and how he couldn’t wait to get her alone. She had fallen for every lie, waiting in his room, undressing down to her underwear for him in her haste to do anything she could to please him. She had been too emotionally immature to realise he had been winding her up. She had been too enamoured with him to see his charm offensive for what it was. He had pulled her strings like a puppet master. Hating him was dead easy when he wasn’t sorry for how he’d treated her. For the last seven years she had stoked that hatred with every look or cynical lip curl he aimed her way. But if this apology were genuine she would have to let her anger and hatred go.

  That was scary.

  Her anger was a barrier. A big, fat barricade around her heart because falling in love with Jake would be nothing less than an exercise in self-annihilation. She only fell in love with men she knew for certain would love her back. Her ex-fiancés were alike in that they had each been comfortable with commitment. They’d wanted the same things she wanted...or so they had said.

  Jake glanced at his watch. ‘We’d better get a move on. I made an appointment with the jeweller for two-fifteen. Have you got an assistant to hold the fort for you till you get back?’

  ‘No, my last girl was rude to the clients,’ Jaz said. ‘I had to let her go. I haven’t got around to replacing her. I’ll just put a “back in ten minutes” sign on the door.’