WE ARRIVE AT our destination and I slide the Beamer into park. I glance around the dirt parking lot and notice no other vehicles. It’s important for no one to see us. Claire would be instantly taken away, and I’d be thrown in jail. Claire stiffens, and I sense fear filling the confines of the car.
“What’s wrong?” I look her in the face, but she doesn’t make eye contact. She glances out the window and refuses to acknowledge my question. I search my brain, trying to figure out what could be bothering her. Then realization hits. She doesn’t want to be in a secluded spot with me.
I grab her hand and tilt her chin so we’re looking into each other’s eyes, beautiful blue to hazel green. “Claire, we had to come here because I can’t take the chance of someone seeing us. I know I kidnapped you and you have no reason to trust me. I’m very aware of that, but I want you to know, I would never hurt you. Never. Please know that. I wanted to come here today because I thought we both needed the fresh air.” She is still staring into my eyes, but I sense her fear dissipating.
“And this is a special place. My grandparents use to bring my brothers and me here to fish. Let’s enjoy the afternoon.” I glance at her to see if she believes me.
“How did you know that’s how I was feeling?” she asks, her voice soft to match her angelic face.
“Because I’m starting to read you like an open book. I know it’s only been two weeks, but I feel like I’ve always known you.” I remove my eyes from hers as the confession slips. I wasn’t supposed to tell her how I felt, but now I have, and it’s making me vulnerable. I don’t like this feeling, but then I love this feeling. My emotions are all over the board. I hate that I’m starting to sound like a woman.
This time she takes her hand and cups my chin to bring my eyes back to hers. “Okay then. For one afternoon, let’s forget everything. Let’s forget reality and enjoy ourselves.”
I nod, her soft fingers on my face, and I long to kiss her. Should I make this move, or will I be taking it too far too fast? I am, after all, her kidnapper. The moment is swirling all around us and a million thoughts run through my head. It would be so easy to lean in right now and touch her soft lips. I realize we have been staring at each other for a while, and that’s when I pull away from her gaze and soft hands. The loss of contact breaks her power over me.
I put both hands on the steering wheel and look straight in front. The moment is gone, but I couldn’t kiss her. I wanted to. I wanted to so incredibly bad, but I knew I shouldn’t. I kidnapped this girl and have ultimately ruined her life. I’m no good for her, and I know the last move I should make is to kiss her. She’s better than this. She’s better than me.
Besides, if I make the move, she might hate me even more than she should, but also, that might be all that it takes for this girl to get 100% under my skin. How pathetic that a girl could get to me with a simple kiss.
I made the right decision. I know I did. I glance at Claire, and she’s staring out the window as well.
“Ready?” I break the silence with a question. She nods and opens her car door. I am under the impression that she’s mad or upset, but I know it can’t be because of the nonexistent kiss. Surely not? She exhales and bites her bottom lip, refusing to make eye contact with me. Uncertainty circles around us in the car and I need to remove myself from this tight confinement before I haul her across the seat and show her how I really feel. I’m the worst kind of worse for her. I hope she understands this. I open my door, and we meet at the back near the trunk. I pull out the bag with our lunch and she grabs the blanket and drinks.
I signal toward the trailhead and we walk silently down the path. We walk for almost ten minutes before the woods open up to reveal a large lake. Forgetting about the awkward exchange between us in the car, the memories of my grandparents and brothers overwhelm me. I had no idea how strongly the memories would invade my system. I see us in the boat on the lake, and I feel the love from my family. I see my brothers, twin smiles, trying to bait the hook. They were too young to bait it correctly, and I always had to help. I see gramps in the boat with us, and my grams on the shore, setting up our picnic. I hear the laughter, and it feels so real. I hear my grandmother calling my name from the shore, and I glance in her direction. She’s smiling and waving, explaining that it’s time to come to shore. She continues to yell my name, and I want more than anything to run to her and to put my arms around her.
I would do anything to not carry this large burden on my shoulders anymore. I’ve lost everything I’ve ever loved, and I can never have it back. The burden of always trying to seem tough weighs heavily on me, when inside, I only want to be sitting on a boat, in the safety and love of gramps and my brothers.
“Brandon!” The scene disappears and I’ve returned to the present. Claire is beside me, grasping my arm. I must have stopped walking because we are standing at the edge of the lake, the warm sun beating down on our faces. “What just happened?” she asks and her voice is once again small.
Do I tell her about my vision? Do I make myself more vulnerable to this girl I am eventually going to end up hurting? I’m supposed to be making this horrible experience up to her. That’s what I’ve told her, but I really don’t know what I’m going to do. I can never send her back to her family, but she doesn’t know this. I promised I would make this up to her, and I promised that I would never hurt her, but these are both lies. I will be the one who hurts her most.
“Let’s find a spot to eat,” I say and lead us to a secluded area. I find us a corner completely shaded, fully enclosed with trees. It opens out to the pond, and I feel as if we are all alone in the world. Even if people venture here, they will never spot us. I raise my head to look at Claire, and I see her face is one of worry, the bruising on her cheek looking worse in the sunlight. She lays the blanket on the ground, and I open the picnic basket. I divvy up our food and she looks through the basket after me.
“I think Sally forgot to pack cups,” she says, moving napkins and plates around.
“It’s fine. We can both drink out of the bottle if that’s fine with you.” I give her a smirk. “I don’t have cooties.” She gives me one of these flirty looks and once again, I long to touch her. I really think my heart has melted a bit at the look she gives me, but I know I must hold it together.
“I thought all car thieves and kidnappers had cooties,” she smiles, and I actually laugh out loud at her comment.
“You’re right. Most do, but I’m the exception.” I start to eat my sandwich as we banter back and forth, laughing as the wind whips through the trees. When we’re done, I lie back on the blanket, putting my hands behind my head. I look at the trees swaying in the wind and wish for simpler times.
“Tell me what you’re thinking?” Claire asks this as she lies down beside me. She’s so close, her leg touching my own, and my breath catches. I give in a small amount to my desires, and with one hand, I reach for hers. We interlock fingers and the feelings that rush through me are indescribable. I should be awarded some sort of medal for my restraint.
I opt to tell her the truth. I decide I will tell her my story. Nobody knows this story except Marcus, and he only knows certain parts. He knows the bad parts, like me going to jail for thirty days due to a courtroom disruption. I don’t bring up my past very often, because the pain is almost too much. But here at this pond and in this moment, I feel I can tell Claire anything and everything. I trust her, although I know I shouldn’t, but here in this spot, it’s like my past has become full circle. I feel it’s okay to share in this moment with Claire. Maybe she will see the same visions I’m seeing. Maybe she will feel the same love I am feeling.
“I’m thinking about my family,” I start, still looking at the tops of the trees. I feel her fingers tighten around mine, signaling me to continue. “This was where my grandparents used to bring us, and I haven’t been back here since I lost them.” I pause for a minute before I continue. “When we walked up on the lake, I saw the twins and myself on the boat with Gramps. We
use to fish here almost every Saturday.”
“How did they die?” she asks, her voice calming and reassuring.
“Bad health. Both of them were in their 60s and they died within six months of each other. My grandfather went first with a heart attack, and my grandmother six months later with an aneurism. It was like they weren’t meant to live apart. I was seventeen and alone. I had practically raised my brothers during the two years before the deaths because my grandparents couldn’t handle us. They were good people, my grandparents. They were handed three young kids and they took us in and cared for us the best way possible.”
There is a pause in the conversation while we listen to the sounds of the crickets and birds.
“And your parents? How did they die?”
I swallow. Reliving these painful memories should be…well, painful, but it’s not. Here with Claire, it’s therapeutic. “They died in a car accident. Killed instantaneously.”
I give a good pause and have no idea from where these feelings are surfacing. “I still can’t believe they’re gone,” I say quietly. “I can’t believe this is my life. I can’t believe my brothers have been gone for ten years and I’m now a stranger to them. If someone had told me when I was seventeen that this is what I would be doing in ten years, I would have beaten the shit out of them. If they had told me my fate with my brothers, I would literally have killed them. And now, here I am, ten years later, all that I love…lost.”
Her grip around my hand tightens. Neither of us says anything for a while. “And you last saw your brothers when they were seven?” Claire asks finally.
“Yes.” We don’t mention her dad or what I did in the courtroom that day. I guess those two things are better left unsaid. “Tell me about your family. Your parents aren’t married?”
I turn my head to face her and see a smile. “They are married now, but they weren’t when I was born. My dad was previously married, and he and my mother had an affair. His previous wife divorced him, and he married my mother when I was almost five.” She doesn’t speak for a minute, and I give her time to collect her thoughts. I can tell she has more to say, but I don’t want to push her.
“Brandon, I know you don’t believe this, and maybe you never will, but my father really is a good man.”
My entire body goes rigid, and I freeze. This man is who took my brothers away from me! How dare she say this? I hate her father. I can feel the hate for him surging through my bloodstream. I feel myself starting to pull away. I shouldn’t have brought her here, and I never should have allowed myself to become close. I release her hand and sit up with bent knees. I start to clean up our food, signaling my need to leave, when I feel her soft hand on my arm. It’s instantly calming, and I feel myself falling back under her spell.
“I’m sorry,” she says with her familiar sweet voice. “I won’t bring him up again.”
I nod my head and feel her behind me. She wraps her hands around my arms and gives me a hug. I suddenly want to turn around and pin her to the ground. I want to take her right here on this blanket. The moment is right and the timing is perfect, but I know I can’t. I don’t deserve her. Right now, this hug will have to be enough. I grab her fingers and move her entire body in front of mine. She sits in between my legs and I wrap my arms around her.
We sit like this for hours as I smell her hair and listen to her laugh. We tell stories of high school and stories of work. She explains to me the inner workings of law school, and I listen to every detail. I secretly wish I could have gone to college, and I’m hoping to God that my brothers have this opportunity.
When the day ends, I look around and realize I feel different. I have told my story to another human being and wasn’t judged. I laughed and smiled more than I have in years. I glance over at the beauty that is Claire and smile again. This is one of the best afternoons I have had since my grandparents’ death.
WHEN WE ARRIVE back to the apartment, the sun has set so I’m no longer worried about being seen. I drive us down the alley and park in the garage. I run to open Claire’s door, and she gives me one of her dainty smiles.
Being outdoors has been good for her. She seems rejuvenated and, dare I say, happy? We link hands. I don’t care if anyone sees me and gives me hell. I feel as if a small part of the heaviness on my shoulders has been lifted. Claire took it away just by listening to me. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to go to that pond today. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to go there with her.
We walk into the apartment to see Tommy, Simon and Carlos sitting on the sofa, watching the news.
“What’s up, man?” Tommy asks, and I see worry on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, releasing Claire’s hand and walking to the television. I’ve been carefree all day, but now it’s back to business mode.
“Someone ratted you out.”
Carlos’s words hang in the air as Tommy takes the remote and turns up the volume. There on the screen are pictures of Claire and myself. An announcer explains loudly how I kidnapped Claire. The media have even traced the reason back to Claire’s father, saying that I held a grudge against him from an earlier case that had been closed and sealed. They wrap up the segment with the news that they believe I am responsible for Sarah Hamilton’s kidnapping as well. There is a $50,000 reward for any leads that help find Claire or Sarah. I am officially on Atlanta’s most wanted list.
“Shit.” It’s the only word I say as my bubble with Claire bursts. Reality has returned, and our day at the lake seems to have taken place ages ago. I rack my brain, trying to think who would have the guts to turn me in.
“Who you think it is, boss?” Carlos asks, as my mind works over time. I notice him looking Claire up and down, and I’m instantly bothered. She’s standing at the sink, watching the television with fear in her eyes. I want to pull her into my arms and tell her this will be all right, that I’ll clean this mess up. Once again, I hate myself for allowing the kidnapping. I glance over at Carlos, and I catch him continuing to eye her. I will definitely have to address this with him later when Claire’s not around. If he even touches her, I don’t care how long we’ve been friends, I’ll cut his eyeballs out. He had better not push me here.
“I don’t know,” I answer, giving him a cold stare.
“I have an idea,” Tommy pipes in, breaking the unspoken communication between me and Carlos.
“Who?”
“That gang. You told them your name. We took out two of their men, maybe three, and I’m sure they went straight to the police.”
“We all know gangs don’t work with the police,” I say, trying to make sense of this situation.
“Yeah, but Claire has a price tag on her head. I’m sure if they work with the cops, they will get a cut of the money.”
We are stunned into silence, knowing that this is the connection.
“Shit,” I say again. I run my hand down my face in an attempt to calm myself. My life is becoming too complicated, and I have a feeling I’m going to have a heart attack before I’m thirty.
“Find out the gang member’s name,” I say to all of them. “Find out which gang it is. We need to know our enemies.”
“This never would have happened if you didn’t have some relationship going on with your prisoner,” Carlos snaps. I know why he’s frustrated. He depends on this car theft business as much as I do, but I’m seriously about to lose it. He’s been my friend for the past five years, and while he’s rough around the edges, I have never felt this sort of hostility from him.
“You better shut your mouth if you know what’s best for you, Carlos,” I say, closing myself in on him. I’m trying to control my anger, but only because I consider him a friend. He senses the threat and stands up to me, anger flaring from his eyes.
“We never had an issue until you brought these two girls here! YOU decided to go into the kidnapping business, and now we’re about to lose it all!” He’s furious, but his anger is only working me up. His words are becoming louder and his voic
e harder. “We’re trying to save your ass, and you’re tapping one of the prisoner’s asses while we do all the work!”
That’s it. Nobody talks about Claire that way, even Carlos. I lunge towards him as I release my anger full on. I haven’t been this angry since Richard removed the sacks from the girls’ heads, and I discovered one was Claire.
I start swinging, and Carlos swings back. He’s just as tough as I am, but I don’t let up. Things break and crash around us. I receive a few punches in the face while he takes a few jabs from me. I’m about to give him a punch to the gut when I feel myself being pulled away.
I turn to see Tommy, his arms wrapped tight around me. Simon’s thick arms encircle Carlos.
“Don’t you ever say that about her again. You don’t know shit about her or about me. You hear me?” I scream at Carlos while Tommy strains to control me.
“Pansy!” Carlos spits the word.
I am about to retaliate verbally when I glance at Claire. She’s standing in a corner, terrified. Tears stream down her face which is already horribly marked with blue and purple bruises. I can’t take her tears anymore.
I shake Tommy off and turn to Carlos. “Find out the name of the gang and the leader, if he’s still alive.” I spit the order and walk over to Claire. I put my arms around her and pull her into an embrace. I do this in front of all the men who look up to me to be tough.
She buries her face into my chest and keeps repeating the words, “I’m sorry.”
“Baby, please don’t say you’re sorry. I’m the one who started this. Stop apologizing.” Sally must have walked in during the fight. She looks at me and winks. I hate to show emotion in front of people, but I’ll be damned if I’ll just sit there and let Claire cry.
“Sally, is dinner ready?” I ask this is the most manly and cruel voice I have. I need to show the boys I’m still strong and tough, but I don’t think Sally buys it. She says yes and starts setting the table. Once I have Claire calmed down, we take our places. Claire sits with us like she’s been doing this for years. I idly wonder where Sarah is and what they’ve done with her. When Claire asks, I tell her she’s in the safe hands of Sally. I hope I’m right.
The Thief Redeemer Page 9
