Saint's Sacrament - Sins of the Father

by Laveen, Tiana

  ~***~

  Osaze sat on his couch, blending into the fabric as if he, too, were from Ikea. He hated the thing, but the old one had sunk so low to the ground, his behind was practically touching the floor beneath it. He saw no reason to spend money frivolously. If what you had was still functional, regardless of the times or fashion, then you use it until it couldn’t be used anymore. He settled into his new couch, plumping the pillow behind him. The delightful aroma of steamed rice and mixed vegetables made his mouth water as he leaned back and watched the television. He couldn’t concentrate between sneaking peeks at Kyung Mi. The woman refused to leave his side, though he tried to explain to her he was fine. She’d even taken off work, something she never did.

  They hadn’t spoken much about the healing. In a way, he was unnerved by that but in another way, he was relieved. Maybe she accepted it as simple truth, and accepted him as well. Of that, he wasn’t quite sure. It did fill his heart with happiness that Saint liked her, and even tried to help his sweetheart understand. He wasn’t sure his son understood how important his approval meant to him regarding such things. After all, if he had it his way, the woman would be his stepmother, and he felt his son had a say in the matter. He hadn’t brought up marriage, but as time matured, he was planning on broaching the topic. Kyung Mi lived in a tiny apartment with noisy neighbors and people cursing out one another at all hours of the night. All of her belongings and dead husband’s clothing were stuffed in that closet of a space. He’d been there a time or two, and he hated it. A woman like Kyung Mi should’ve been in a house, with room to move about, and a shoulder to lie on whenever she wanted to. He’d bought the damned couch for her, so she had a place to relax, put her feet up and feel comfortable, though he never admitted it to her. She never complained about the ratty old one though—that was Kyung Mi, always accommodating and positive. Yet when the new couch arrived, her face lit with sheer delight and her eyes sparkled like stars.

  So now, the time had come for a serious talk.

  “Kyung Mi,” he called out, putting the television on mute. “May I have a word with you?”

  She visibly tensed, then looked over her shoulder, placed a tattered oven mitt on the kitchen counter and came to sit by his side—her usual warm, sweet smile on her face. He took her hand in his and looked into her eyes, concentrating, hoping and praying this would go well.

  “How do you feel about…what you saw? The healing?”

  Again, she stiffened like the ironing board stored away in his hall closet. Acting on pure instinct, he ran his hand slowly up and down her back, relaxing her. She melted into his touch, a sincere smile gracing her pretty face.

  “It left me amazed and scared.”

  At least she was honest. He tried to tell Saint this could happen, but the knucklehead insisted on letting her witness it, to disprove any insanity accusations she may have hurled his way. Osaze accepted it. He sure as heck didn’t have any better ideas.

  “I understand. I’m just a man. Please remember that.”

  “Osaze, I saw what your son and his friend can do… Since you’re the one I’m with, what can you do?”

  For the longest time thereafter, he simply stared at her. He had thought, surely, his son’s antics would be enough and he wouldn’t have to go through this. Osaze had made it a point to not use his gifts unless absolutely necessary, and here Kyung Mi was, asking for a magic show.

  “It’s funny you should mention that.” He smiled apprehensively, running his hand up and down his leg. “Saint told me right after he met you that you’d ask me something like that. I completely pushed the thought aside.” He shrugged and shuffled his feet nervously. “Well, like Jagger, I can change temperatures of an area. I can…move things around, though I haven’t done it in years. That breathing smoke stuff though,”—he shook his head and laughed, “that’s all my son. That’s called the breath of life, another mark of an Angel Child Healer. Some of us can breathe out cold and hot air, but our smoke doesn’t cure.”

  “Okay,” she said as if he’d only told her the weather forecast.

  “Um, I also sometimes levitate when I sleep. It doesn’t happen every night. Matter of fact, I’d guess it happens less than ten times a year, but it does happen from to time.”

  She gasped and lifted a hand to her red lips. “Float in the air?” she asked, her voice sounding muffled through her fingers.

  “Yes. It usually happens if I’m particularly stressed but it can also happen during times of happiness.”

  “Can you will it to happen?”

  “Yes, but I’ve never had a reason to.”

  “Okay,” she said, acting as if she had a clipboard and were checking things off of an imaginary list. “I like you, Osaze, a lot.” She gripped his hand then brought it up to her lips, and kissed it. He sat in amazement, kissed her cheek and couldn’t believe his luck. Most women, he surmised, would have gotten the hell out of there as soon as Saint started doing all that bobbing and weaving, but not Kyung Mi. She wanted to obviously see it through. Just then, Osaze’s cell phone rang. He smiled politely at his girlfriend then scrambled to find his cell phone, only to find it tucked under the new matching pillows of that darn couch.

  “Hello?” he answered, fumbling with the receiver.

  “Osaze, I just finished taking your three little monsters…I mean grandchildren…to the mall. How they ended up with five toys a piece and me barely enough cash to get home is beyond me.”

  Osaze burst out laughing. “They are slick, you have to watch them. Especially Dakarai. He is a born hustler.”

  “And so is his sister…looking at me with those sad eyes. Anyway, if you’re not too busy, would you mind if I stopped by?”

  Osaze didn’t ask why. If Jagger was calling him and requesting some face time, it had to be pretty serious.

  “Um…” He glanced at Kyung Mi. “Yes, that’s fine. I’m sitting here with Kyung Mi.”

  “Oh, if you two are in the middle of something then—”

  “No, it’s fine.” Osaze smiled. “Please, come on over.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there in about an hour.”

  Osaze disconnected the call and looked at Kyung Mi.

  “Something is troubling that young man. I could see it when he came over with Saint to do the healing. I don’t know him well, but well enough to understand that my son thinks highly of him, and I would agree. He’ll be here in an hour. You are free to stay though.” He ran his hand gently across her tiny shoulder, the thin blue fabric of her blouse gathering from his touch.

  “No.” She shook her head. “You two can have man talk.” She rose from the couch and walked back into the kitchen. “I’m going to finish making this for you, and I will go home to do some things. If you wish, I can return tonight with a movie, if you’re up to it.”

  “Yes, I’d very much like that.” Osaze felt like a sixteen-year-old boy around Kyung Mi. His face reddened as he thought about a different sort of movie he’d indulged in not too long ago, and then had his way with himself with her image clearly in his mind. He’d felt ashamed afterward—he wasn’t one to do things like that, especially at his age—but he not only felt love for the woman, he felt lust, and it was getting stronger and stronger as each day passed. He’d find himself staring at her cleavage, her behind, her lips. He wanted to know what she looked like undressed, and it unnerved him that he’d downgraded to his son’s over-sexed level. It also slightly amused him, though he didn’t spend much time reviewing that reaction.

  After dinner consisting of half a corned beef sandwich, a small bowl of sticky rice, and two bowls of the delicious vegetable soup, and some quiet conversation, Jagger arrived. Osaze felt too stuffed to get up from his chair, so Kyung Mi grabbed her purse, kissed Osaze’s forehead and opened the door. She and Jagger stood there, staring at one another. Then, the lady cracked a wide grin and hugged him.

  “You two have a nice time.” She walked away down the sidewalk while Jagger stared back at her until Osaze bro
ught his attention back to the present.

  “Jagger, come on in here.” He smiled at the young fellow, who cast an unnerving shadow across the wall.

  “Oh, yeah.” Jagger smiled and quickly stepped over the threshold, then closed and locked the door behind him. He cleared his throat uneasily and clasped his hands. “You got a new couch. Nice.”

  “Thank you, come have a seat.” Osaze patted the cushion to the right of him.

  Jagger kept his head down, like a guy walking to a priest prepared to ask for forgiveness for some heinous sin.

  “Hey…” He looked around sheepishly as he drew closer. “How’ve you been?”

  “Good, Jagger, quite well.” Osaze’s concerns grew. “Is something going on with Saint? He hasn’t returned my calls though Xenia said he was doing better.”

  “Yeah, uh, I mean, no. There isn’t anything going on with Saint that is out of the ordinary. He is still tired, but healing well. I looked at his irises today before I came over. They’re no longer dilated and he is improving. Xenia has done a fine job of making sure he stays in the bed. He’ll be fine.”

  Osaze nodded in relief.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Jagger questioned sympathetically.

  “Yes. Still a little tired, but nothing compared to my son, I’m sure. I will never forget this.” Osaze’s voice cracked as he turned away from Jagger, his heart submerged with fresh emotion. “I’ll never forget what he did for me.”

  “I don’t think any of us will. It was really something to watch.” Jagger looked around the house, as if he’d never seen it before. “How did…she take it?” he finally said, awkwardness in his tone.

  Osaze looked at Jagger head on and smiled. He placed his hand on his shoulder.

  “Surprisingly well. She even offered to come back again as you could see.” Osaze chuckled. “I’ll admit, at first, I was sure I’d never see her again. But, I was wrong. She treats me just like she did before, as if nothing has happened.”

  “Wow…that’s…that’s awesome,” Jagger said in amazement. He stared aimlessly at the television, the volume still off.

  “Jagger, what’s on your mind?” Osaze laid it out there, made the boy walk the plank.

  “Yeah, why I’m here… Uh, I realized the other night that you and I were going through the same thing.”

  “Same thing? Are you ill?” He knew what Jagger was speaking of. Saint had already briefed him on the whole unfortunate situation, but he had to play it cool.

  “No.” Jagger shock his head. “I’m…scared. Jesus!” He ran his big hands over his face and leaned back on the couch, slouching, as if trying to disappear into the fabric, but he was simply too large to just vanish. He looked at Osaze and swallowed. “I have a girlfriend.”

  “Yes…”

  “And uh…” Jagger ran his fingers over his jeans, back and forth, so much so, Osaze was certain he may start a fire on his darn thigh. “Her name is Traci—beautiful woman, good heart, too. And I love her so much, Mr. Aknaten, more than any woman I’ve ever been with before.”

  “That’s good, very good.” Osaze smiled. “What is the problem?”

  “I haven’t told her what I am.” Jagger looked at the closed front door. Osaze imagined he wanted to bolt right through it, leaving his bodily impression like the Kool-Aid Man in a brick wall. The feelings were too overpowering, too much for a man who wasn’t used to being at mercy’s feet.

  “You are afraid she will leave you, right?”

  “Yes,” Jagger said. “She’ll leave me and I’ll be alone and feel like a fool. The being alone part doesn’t bother me too much, I’m used to that. It’s that she’d hate me, think I’m crazy or if I showed her proof, you know, like Saint did for your lady friend, she’d bolt. I like things the way they are, but she deserves the truth.” Jagger looked at Osaze. “I wish I had your courage.”

  “It seems to me,” Osaze said reflectively, “that you and I can learn something from each other. You see, I didn’t want to tell Kyung Mi, either, but I wasn’t necessarily afraid. I just was not certain she’d understand, though, I can appreciate your predicament. I didn’t want her to leave, either.What we are is not understood by the masses and I doubt it will ever be, at least not in my lifetime. We remain under the radar, or we could be exploited and hurt and then forced to do things we don’t wish to do.” Osaze sighed and took a deep breath. “You’re a young man with your whole life ahead of you. You don’t seem like the type to be afraid to tell the truth. But, we all are scared of something, even Saint. You and Saint have more in common than I think either of you realize.”

  Jagger gave him an intense look, as if hanging on his words.

  “You both are afraid of the exact same thing, you just handled it differently. When Saint is afraid of something, he rushes toward it. He has always been this way. He has a fight response. You have a flight response, and it doesn’t seem to match the rest of your personality. That is what makes it a weakness, or better yet, a challenge. We all have at least one. Don’t feel ashamed.”

  Jagger looked down into his lap.

  “Mr. Aknaten, I never had a good example of relationships, growing up. You know, how they are supposed to work. My mother is Indian. She is an Angel Child. My father is as well, but he is all messed up. He’s a damn drunk.”

  Osaze nodded, and motioned for him to go on.

  “I grew up protecting people, especially my brothers because when my father got to drinking, he liked to put his hands on them. My mother was stronger than him, gift wise, and I think after a while, he resented it. He’d beat on her, and she’d just take it. I started hating her, too.” Jagger’s eyes watered up. “I’d ask her, ‘Ma, why do you let Dad do that to you?’ and she said he only did it because he loved her. I couldn’t believe it. She really believed that shit, too. Oh, sorry…”

  “It’s okay. My son is Saint, remember? The word ‘shit’ is child’s play for him. I can’t have a five minute conversation with that guy without hearing at least ten curse words, and that was when he was just fifteen.”

  They shared a light laugh.

  “Jagger, please continue,” Osaze encouraged.

  “Then, I joined the Marines, and the protection continued. I liked it.” He looked at Osaze woefully. “I liked killing, too. And it bothered me because I felt like I was turning into my old man. I think he liked hurting people. He got a kick out of it. It didn’t matter if the people were good or bad; he liked feeling better than someone else.”

  “Some of us were designed to kill to right wrongs.” Osaze glared into Jagger’s ice blue eyes. “Some of us, however, lose our way, and get drunk off the power, pardon the pun.”

  “That about sums him up.” Jagger laughed angrily as he clicked his tongue against the side of his cheek. “I think he wishes his powers were stronger so he could hurt people worse—and then once I got older, he saw that I was stronger than him, too, and that pissed him off even more. My brothers don’t have the gift, and I think he was grateful. Not because he wanted to spare them some of the hardships we go through, but he didn’t want more competition. I hate that man.” Jagger balled his fists and gnashed his teeth, causing a chill to go down Osaze’s spine.

  “I shouldn’t hate him, because he’s sick. And then, I picked a woman as messed up as my mother, and married her.” He smirked and shook his head. “I wanted to be with this woman so bad, Mr. Aknaten, I ignored all the signs that she wasn’t the one for me. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, and she was into me, you know?”

  “Yes, I do know…” Osaze said thoughtfully. He glanced over at the shrine that existed no more. All that remained was one picture of Min Jae and her favorite necklace. He’d packed the other artifacts away, ready to start out fresh and new. He’d done it earlier that morning—after the couch arrived, he lit the final stick of incense. He’d looked at the new couch, then back at Min Jae, then at the new couch once again. The new couch represented his new life, his new lady, and Min Jae would alway
s be his first love, but…it was time to stop this. He cried during the process because that shrine had been up since Saint was a teenager. It was a fixture in his home, just like a window or the front door, but it had to end, and the change had to begin from within.

  “I tried to tell her many times what I was but she shrugged it off. She thought I was a nut. And then she did the unthinkable. She cheated on me with a good friend of mine, or I thought he was. Just more proof that being psychic doesn’t always protect you from this kind of agony.” Jagger turned away then shot a hurt-filled expression back at Osaze. The darn thing was almost an entity of its own, and it burned Osaze’s heart. He could feel Jagger’s pent up pain pouring and pooling into the small area as they talked. The man’s eyes were changing, the color of hurt lurking deep within them. “To make matters worse, she got pregnant. She told me the baby was mine but…I knew that baby wasn’t mine, I could feel it. I didn’t want to lose my mind and if I was wrong, I didn’t want to lose the child by making accusations and honestly, I didn’t want to lose her either, even after all she’d done.”

  “Jagger, you loved her. You loved the wrong person, but we sometimes don’t think clearly during times like these.”

  “I wasn’t easy to be with. I was a workaholic and I sometimes treated her like she wasn’t even there. I wasn’t the perfect husband, she said I didn’t express myself enough, but I loved her…I really loved her, you are right.”

  Both men were quiet for some time before Jagger began again.

  “Then, uh, when it was confirmed that Mason wasn’t mine, I still tried to stick it out, like some glutton for abuse. I’ve never been so stupid in my life. Love made me stupid, and I didn’t want any part of it ever again so when Saint wanted me to date and meet someone, I wasn’t trying to hear it.”

  “Yes, my son, the perpetual match maker.” Osaze laughed.

  Jagger smiled and nodded in agreement.

  “But, he knew it was all an act. I did want to date, I was just jaded. He found me someone that I really dug. We clicked! On every level. She’s a good woman, like Xenia…like…Saint’s mother, I imagine.” Osaze returned his smile.