Ranch Hand

by Kar, Alla

  Levi sighs. “It was a long time ago.”

  “Yes, I know. I need to live in the present.” I nod and try to make myself believe my words. Trust myself. But it’s hard to trust someone that wants to jump my ex-boyfriend right now.

  “You do,” Levi says, pulling on a random blonde curl. “So, what’s in the present for you.”

  “Christopher,” I say without hesitation, which only sounds like I’m forcing the idea on myself.

  Levi nods and I notice his brown eyes glimmer at night with the porch light shining in his eyes. “Right.”

  “For you?”

  He shrugs.

  I scoff. “Mary. You were all over each other today at lunch. It’s hard not to think you two are each other’s future. You are living together.”

  Levi laughs, his raw Southern laugh. “What? We are not. She has spent two nights with me and she acts like she’s been staying for two months.” He shakes his head and then he snaps his head toward me. “I know Bridget isn’t jealous, is she?”

  “Yeah right,” I lie, my voice shaky.

  “You are,” he says, leaning up and looking at me. “You’re fuckin’ jealous.” He hoots and I grit my teeth. Levi gets up and twirls a circle to come back and face me. “Bridget Wilks is jealous.”

  I stand up and stomp my foot. “I am no such thing, and you shut your mouth. I was just stating the facts.”

  Levi smiles and steps forward. I take another step back and turn to try and make a run toward the door. Levi catches my wrist and pins me up against the wall.

  My breath catches. “Let me go,” I struggle but he has me pinned. His hands hold both of my wrists in iron like grips.

  “Tell me you’re jealous, and I’ll let you go inside, Kitten.” He smiles and I smell his minty breath.

  “No, I’m not jealous.”

  He smirks. “Well, it’s gonna be a long sleepy night out here then.”

  “Levi,” I grit through my teeth.

  “Hmm,” he whispers leaning down and letting his breath tickle my cheek. “I love when you’re angry. It’s so sexy, Kitten.”

  I try and pull away, again. “Let me go you, bastard.” I’m beginning to have a problem.

  He laughs low. “Nope. Tell me you’re jealous. Tell me you missed me like I did you.”

  “Levi that was so fuckin’ long ago. I don’t miss you and I’m not jealous. I’m getting married. I’m twenty-five now. I’m not a teenager anymore.”

  “Say it,” he spits out. “Say it and I’ll let you go.”

  I shake my head and he presses his body harder against mine. There is no space between us now. “Say it.”

  Biting my lip, I fight the urge to spit in his face. “I was a little jealous.” He grins. “But I’m not saying I miss you because you don’t miss me. You miss having your way with me.”

  “Uh-uh. I’ll let your hand go and move it lower, then you’ll realize how much I’ve missed you.”

  I cringe as I feel his erection pressed against my stomach. My mind is racing and my hormones are basically building banners telling me to jump him. “Say you missed me,” he whispers, leaning his head down, his lips planting feather-light kisses down my neck.

  I moan. I don’t know where it comes from, but it breaks from my lips like a fire to a dry field. “Oh, God, Kitten. Please tell me I can kiss you.”

  I shake my head and close my eyes. “I can’t,” I breathe helplessly.

  “God, Bridget,” he grunts. He pulls away from me and looks at me. His pupils are large, his breath is jagged. “Please tell me I’m not the only one that feels this way? You have to want me, too?”

  I open my mouth to say something…to say anything, but the screen door opens.

  “I forgot my damn wallet in the truck again. Your momma seems to think someone is gonna come all the way out here to steal something.’” He shakes his head and stomps down the steps to his truck.

  Levi is staring at me when I look back at him. His eyes hungry and wide, his cheeks flushed. “Bridget,” he whispers.

  I hold up my hand and stop him. “I’m sorry, Levi. I just can’t.”

  Levi runs his fingers through his short hair. “Damn it, Bridge! Just admit that you give a damn ‘bout me ‘cuz you know you do. You know you’ve missed me.”

  I open my mouth to say something but he interrupts. “I’ll see ya tomorrow. And you’re gonna go to the fuckin’ fair with me. I don’t care if I have to drag ya ass there.” Levi turns away, leaving me breathless, confused and a whole lot of angry.

  Chapter Four

  The damn rooster and I are going to have it out when I get outside. My eyes are wide open and I know it’s only around five in the morning. I could grab his hairy neck and strangle it to death. Groaning, whiney and completely tired, I roll out of the bed and go straight for the shower. I block out any memories from the night before. I can’t stand to think of Levi touching me or wanting me only because I know he touches Mary the same damned way. Bitch.

  I try and do something with my hair. I at least wash and dry it, leaving it in loose curls. Not the best look, but it will have to do. Papaw and Mamaw are still sleeping when I check on them. They used to be up so early each morning, feeding the animals or bailing hay. Now they take naps, sleep late and barely move. The thought makes my stomach hurt. It’s hard to see them like this, to see them not active and enjoying life.

  There is coffee made and I pour myself a cup. I see Levi’s truck parked by the barn. He has the same black Z71 he had in high school. I don’t go to it. I know I shouldn’t. Instead I grab my laptop and pull up a manuscript I’ve been reading and sit on the patio table to read.

  I get through the first two pages and I catch movement from the corner of my eye. Levi is tossing hay into the barn, shirtless, and I catch my coffee before it slips from my quivering hands. This is crazy. Stop looking at him. Don’t torture yourself.

  Two pages later, I glance back up and Levi isn’t there. I’m half-relieved that he isn’t, but the other part of me wants to go straddle him right then and there. I hate that he makes me feel like I’m eighteen again.

  “Lookin’ for somebody, Kitten?” I hear and grip my coffee cup tightly, not trusting myself that I won’t spill it all over me.

  “Just the computer screen.”

  “Hm,” Levi says, walking around in front of me. “The last time I checked the computer screen was here.” He points his long index finger at the screen and I blush. I glance up at him and give him an icy smile. His mouth is pulled up into a smirk, and he is sweating all over that naked chest. Stop it.

  “That’s why I’m looking at it,” I snap.

  Levi pulls back his hand and scratches his chest. “Yeah, that’s what they all say.”

  “Do you need something?” I ask, watching Levi sit in front of me, propping his feet on the railing of the porch.

  “Just enjoying the view. Someone looks great in that tank top, her breasts are all full and called to attention too.”

  I wrap my arm over my chest and scowl. “You would do us both a favor if you didn’t look at my breasts. Mary has two of her own, and I know she would love if you stared at hers all day long.”

  Levi shrugs and flicks his hat back a few inches, so I can see his face. He is grinning and his dark eyes are on me. “Nah, her tits aren’t near as good lookin’ as yours, just sayin.’”

  “I’m sure you say the same thing to her.”

  “Nope. We don’t talk about you. Get over yourself, Bridge.” He rolls his eyes and stands up. I do my best not to look at him or the way his jeans fit tightly to his tight ass. “Well, I have some more work to do. Feel free to watch me all day long. I won’t mind it at all, ma’am. Pretend you’re waitin’ on me to make it home for the night.”

  “Gag me,” I mumble.

  “If that’s what the lady wants.” He winks. “I’m in the South, I wouldn’t be a gentlemen if I didn’t give you what you want, right? I’ll see ya tonight. Be ready at six.” He tips his dark-as-mi
dnight hat and walks off the porch, his cowboy stalk making my stomach turn.

  Damn cowboy.

  ***

  At six, I stand in front of the mirror in my bathroom. My hair is damp, my eyes wide and I am clinging to my towel for dear life. For strength.

  “I can’t go,” I turn toward the bathroom door and look at my momma like I use to when I was a girl. “I don’t feel right. It’s not right.”

  Momma smiles and it’s sweet. “Bridget,” she says, stepping forward to touch my face softly. “Sweetie, you are old friends goin’ to the fair. You aren’t goin to have each other at his house.” Oh but how I wish I were. “Levi is a nice guy, he wouldn’t make you do anythin’ you don’t want to do.” That’s the problem, I do want to. “Sweetie,” she sighs, “You love Christopher, right?”

  I nod and lean my head into her hand. “Yes, more than you know.”

  “Then don’t worry about Levi,” she says. “Now, get ready. He is waitin’ outside for you.”

  I lean my head against the door and fight the urge to bang it. I put on a pair of jeans and a low cut white t-shirt. Momma left me some cowboy boots to wear, but let’s not get hasty. I slip into a pair of black TOMS.

  She is right. Levi is waiting for me at the kitchen bar. His black hat is low over his eyes and I desperately want to pull it up and look at him. To see what he is looking at. As if he reads my mind, he tips his hat up and stands up straight. His dark eyes watch me move closer to him. A dark smile plays on his lips and he winks at me.

  A pool of heat gathers between my legs and I intertwine my fingers and squeeze. His white button down shirt is tucked into his dark jeans and he looks damn good. With a jolt, I notice Holt standing beside him. He is wiggling his eyebrows up and down, and I roll my eyes at him.

  “Lil’ sister, y’all act like it’s your first date or something.’”

  “It’s not a date,” I spit out. “We are two friends going out, only because Momma is making me.”

  Levi pulls his hand to his chest. “Ouch. That hurts a little bit.” He steps forward and mimics an inch. “Just a little though. We Texans don’t get our feelins’ hurt that easily.”

  Picking at my nails, I sigh. “Are you done talking, yet? I’m ready to go and get this over with.”

  “This used to be your favorite time of the year. You used to want to go with me.” Levi pokes out his lip. “What happened, Kitten?”

  “Used to, being the key words.” I turn toward Holt. “Where is Ms. Cindy? Isn’t she coming with us?”

  Holt smiles. “Yeah she is gonna meet us up there, but I’m not ridin’ with ya. I need my own truck, so I can take the lil’ lady parkin’ afterwards.”

  No! You have to ride with us! I almost shout, but I don’t want Levi to know I’m nervous.

  “Okay. Gross.”

  “Don’t act like Levi didn’t used to take you parkin’.”

  I blush and ignore Levi’s smile. “Don’t remember, can we please go? And be adults, for that matter.”

  “We can be whatever the little ma’am wants to be,” Levi says, gesturing for me to lead the way. I mentally groan and walk out toward Levi’s truck.

  The Texas air is humid but there is a slight breeze that I’m thankful for. Levi’s hand lands on my back, and he opens the passenger side door for me. My body stiffens. I haven’t had anyone open the door for me in years.

  “What? Christopher doesn’t know how to open the door for a lady? I guess your Papaw is gonna have to take care of him after all.”

  “He does,” I say and pull myself into the cab of the truck. It smells just like him. The woodsy raw smell consumes me. My mind wanders back to the times we had in here. The mud riding, racing, parking…. the sex.

  “Okay, lil’ lady.” Levi starts the truck, and I don’t even realize he has gotten in. “You still listen to country music or somethin’ different?” He twists the knob and stops on a country station. Taylor Swift is playing.

  I shrug and pick at my loose curl. “I really don’t listen to much anymore. Country is fine.”

  Levi shakes his head and backs up out of the driveway. “You seriously don’t even listen to music? Damn girl, ya done turned into some old grandma or somethin’. Hell, even your Mamaw listens to music.”

  I smile. “I’m just so busy…” I trail off and watch the trees rush by. “I don’t have time.”

  Levi is quiet for a while and I finally look over at him, he is staring straight forward his brows furrowed. “Are you happy, Bridge?”

  “Of course,” I say.

  “I mean…” he turns toward me, sadness written over his handsome face, “…seriously happy? Does he make you happy?”

  “Yes.” I shake my head, faking a smile. “He is a good guy, Levi. He is more serious than I used to be, but I am, too. I’ve grown up.”

  Levi’s eyes soften and he laughs. “Yeah, I hear New York will do that to people. It’s in the air up there or somethin’. Do you not ever want to just have fun?”

  I nod. “I have fun. Reading is fun….”

  “No!” he shouts and shakes his head. “Not readin’ not writin’ or whatever the hell you do at your job. I mean go to the fair? Go to a carnival? The movies. When is the last time you went to a damn movie, Bridge?”

  I bit my lip. “Um. I went to see… Adam Sandler’s Grown Ups. .”

  “What! That came out two years ago. It’s been that damned long?”

  “I guess.” I frown and cross my arms.

  “Redbox?”

  I smile. “I wouldn’t peg you for a Redbox kind of guy.”

  “Hey!” he says, raising his brow. “I might live in Texas, but I’m entitled to know about Redbox.”

  I hold my hands up in surrender. “Hey, I’m not judging.”

  I look up, and I see the lights from the fair. We live a little ways outside of Houston in a little town called Humble. The fair attracts quit a few people though. Levi pulls in and we finally find a parking place. “Well, here we are. You’re not scared of heights are ya?”

  “Have I ever been? I’ve beat your ass on throwing up way too many time for you to ask that.”

  “Well, hell, New York made you not like music, so why the hell couldn’t it have made you afraid of heights?”

  I bite back a laugh and wait for Levi to open my door. He offers his hand and he looks as tempting as I picture the apple looked to Eve. His eyes are daring me to take his hand and his body is begging me to keep close. Too bad I can’t take a big bite out of him.

  I take Levi’s hand and he helps me out. I notice his hand lingers on mine a little longer than it should before he lets go. Holt pulls up a few seconds later and he jumps out.

  “I feel like a damned teenager again. Let’s go get drunk!”

  “At a fair?” I ask.

  “No,” Holt rolls his eyes. “After the fair, we’re gonna go to Nicky’s. Levi didn’t tell ya?”

  Levi is smiling when I look over and he shrugs. “You wouldn’t have come if I told ya that. And plus, we don’t have a curfew now.”

  “I sure as hell wouldn’t have. I don’t want…”

  “Shhh, baby sister,” Holt says, wrapping his hand around my mouth. “Let’s just go have some fun. It’s the damn fair. Don’t ruin it.”

  I groan and let Holt pull me along. I’m going to kill Levi and Holt, both, before this night is up.

  ***

  The fair is in full swing by the time we get there. Kids are running all over, there are games, rides, funnel cakes and music. Country music. It’s the same ol’ stuff, but everyone enjoys it the same each year.

  Holt is talking to Levi and I take in my surroundings. I notice a few elderly people from when I was here, but mostly there are teenagers all over each other. I smile, it hasn’t been too long since I was a teenager and was necking with Levi.

  “Holt!” I hear someone screech, and I glance over. A woman, who I guess is Cindy, is walking toward us. Momma is right; she dresses like a prostitute. Her hair is bleach
ed blond and long down her back. She is tall, and I have to look up to her. Her eyes are beady and saturated with makeup. I guess her mother never told her less is more.

  She is wearing jeans that I figure her friend, who is standing beside her, helped her pour herself into. Not to mention her low cut, skintight, black, v-neck t-shirt. She is pretty in a standing-on-the-street-corner kind of way.

  “Cindy,” Holt says, wrapping his arms around her small waist. He lays a big kiss on her, and I look away in discomfort. She glances over at me and I know she is waiting for an introduction.

  “I’m Bridget,” I say. “Holt’s sister.”

  “Oh!” she yells, throwing her head back in a screechy laugh. She stretches her long arm out and offers me a handshake. Her long, red painted fingernails scrap my hand and I wince. “It’s so nice to finally meet cha, sweetie. Holt is always talkin’ ‘bout his lil’ sis and how great she is.”

  I smile, glad the sun is setting so no one can see me blushing. “Oh, this is Lauren, my BFF.”

  BFF? Seriously? How old are these girls? Well, hell, by the looks of it, high school was in the near past.

  Lauren doesn’t speak; she just stares at Levi. “He, Levi,” she mumbles, pushing her brown bobbed cut hair behind her ear.

  Levi tips his hat. “Lauren.” She looks down, and I notice she isn’t dressed like Cindy. She has on a normal fitting shirt and a pair of jeans that aren’t painted on. Her shoes are cowboy boots and she has her hair pulled back into a low ponytail.

  “So, you girls ready to ride some rides?” Holt hollers.

  “I am!” Cindy yells, pulling on Holt’s arm and tugging Lauren along.

  No come back! I send Holt the best I hate you glare as he walks away. He flips me the bird behind his shoulder.

  Levi laughs beside me. “Don’t look too happy to be here with me, darlin’. You can at least act like you are havin’ a good time.”

  I look up at him. He has a grin on his tanned face and I sigh. “I’m having fun. I just didn’t know Holt was going to get pulled away…”

  “You wanted him with us, right?”