Evade (The Ever Trilogy)

by Russo, Jessa

  But then, that was just it, wasn’t it? He’d hardened because of her. Because of what she and Ted did to him, to his mother.

  “So it was at that moment, at that moment when I was about to let that needle connect with my skin, that everything I’d known was lost to me. It was my willingness to sacrifice something so important to me for her which changed my life forever.”

  “Wait a minute. So you became a soul collector because you almost got a tattoo?” This part didn’t match up to Greg’s story.

  “No. And yes. I mean, it’s more complicated than that, but in addition to having the ability to see lost souls, you have to be willing to cross into their realm. I hadn’t known it at the time, but my devotion to Ariadne would lead me to become a soul collector.”

  “I’m lost here, Toby. What are you saying?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m trying to explain the best I can. So we’re sitting there when Ariadne receives a phone call, and she whispers something to the tattoo artist, then pulls me out of the shop. On the way to the car, we stopped to make-out, and it…got a little heated.”

  He glanced at me quickly, then brought his eyes back to the highway.

  “Oh. Oh. You mean, just right there in the parking lot?” I blushed, then looked out the window. I didn’t want to think about Toby and Ariadne having so much passion between them that they couldn’t even wait to get home before ripping each other’s clothes off.

  “Yeah. I’m sorry. I know you don’t want to hear stuff like that.”

  “No, whatever. Go on. Just spare me the gory details, okay?”

  “Deal. We eventually head back to my place. I’m thinking I’ll just sneak her up to my room, and we can continue what we’re doing. But when we walked in the front door, Ted was sitting on my couch in the place my mom had sat in my entire life. Her spot. Her worn-out, slumped side of the couch. I just about lost my mind. But then he threatened Ariadne, and I saw my entire world crumbling around me. I’d just lost my mom to this man; I couldn’t lose my girl to him, too.”

  “But, didn’t they work together? Weren’t they tricking you or something? I really don’t understand.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I’m trying. So when Ted threatened Ariadne, I jumped in front of him, putting myself between his gun and the girl I thought I loved. I was doing what I thought any guy would do for…what I thought was love. I was willing to sacrifice myself for her. I was completely blinded by the situation.”

  “Why was he aiming a gun at her?”

  “That’s the thing. There was no logical reason for him to do so, but I couldn’t see through the anger. I knew he’d taken my mom, and now he threatened my girlfriend. For no apparent reason, but that didn’t occur to me.”

  “You just saw red.”

  “Yeah,” he whispered, his eyes still on the road ahead.

  “So, did you? Did you die for her? Are you…?”

  He glanced at me, then back to the road, a curt nod his only response.

  “Oh my God.”

  He sighed, a long flow of air escaping his lips. His shoulders slumped.

  “So, then what happened? I mean, you obviously still got the tattoo. Somehow.” Focus on the tattoo, not the dead boy sitting next to you. That part of the story was a bit much to handle.

  “I didn’t get the tattoo.”

  “Oh no. Not this again.”

  “Not what again?” Toby asked.

  “What are you going to tell me? That it transferred to you after Ariadne told you to choose between her and death?”

  “No.”

  “Oh, thank God.”

  “She didn’t ask me to choose.”

  “What?”

  “The tattoo appeared on my skin, stretching its way up from my abdomen to my chest to my shoulder, with excruciating pain and burning—searing hot pain, like…like fire raced over my skin—as I stood there in the middle of my living room, staring down the barrel of Ted’s smoking gun, while he grinned like a Cheshire cat, and Ariadne giggled behind me.”

  “Oh my God. That’s even worse.”

  “Than Greg’s story? Yeah. I like to think so.” His voice was sharp, and I knew with absolute certainty that he still hated Ariadne for what she’d done to him.

  “She didn’t even give you a choice? The way she gave Greg a choice?”

  “No.”

  “Please don’t tell me you continued dating her after that.”

  “I tried to kill her.”

  I snapped my head to the side to stare at Toby, my mouth dropped open wide.

  “I saw rage. Only my rage. When all the pieces fell into place, and I realized they’d been working me together, and my mom was gone because of them, along with my savings…and any chance I had at ever getting out of Seattle… I turned on her so fast that I’m surprised Ted didn’t shoot me again.”

  “Why didn’t he?”

  “He wanted me. He knew I was stronger than others with my ability—our ability—and he wanted me to work for him. So he made me a deal. Ariadne would leave, and I’d never see her again if I didn’t want to, and he’d get me out of Seattle. He’d take care of selling my family home and all that was inside of it, and I’d get the money.”

  “What was the catch?” As if I didn’t already know.

  “I had to work for him. He replaced her with me, and I’ve been working side by side with him ever since.”

  “What makes your ability stronger than mine?” I felt weird talking about myself having an ability, but I didn’t know how else to say it.

  “I can see all of them.”

  “What do you mean? All of who? The ghosts?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Wow. Like, all the time, no matter where you are? That must be like…”

  “They’re everywhere. Whatever you’re imagining right now, multiply it.”

  “By what?”

  “By any number you can think of. Then multiply it again.”

  Holy crap. I looked out the window, wondering how many spirits walked along the side of the road, how many floated on the sidewalks of the neighborhoods we flew past.

  “How did you know my dad had been in that car accident that night?”

  “What?” Unable to follow my quickly changing train of thought, Toby shook his head, as if trying to make sense of my question.

  “The night my dad died—you knew it was him before we’d even seen the actual accident. When I saw his ghost, his—”

  “Crisis apparition.”

  “—yeah, that. When I saw him, you hadn’t seen him yet, had you?”

  “No.”

  “But you knew. And when I asked you about it before…that’s when you left me.”

  His eyes closed briefly—quickly enough that he didn’t crash the car, but just long enough for me to see the sadness in his expression. He didn’t want to talk about this. Too freaking bad, Toby James. Too. Freaking. Bad.

  “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that, Ever. I want you to believe me when I tell you this—I did everything I could to keep it from happening. I thought I had to—”

  “What do you mean, you did everything you could? What did you have to do with my dad’s car accident, Toby? You weren’t even there. We were out…”

  He took a deep breath, and I was half-tempted to retract my question. Maybe I didn’t really need to know the truth. Maybe he’d protected me from it for good reason, maybe he…

  No. I wouldn’t allow myself to be protected from the truth. I wasn’t that girl anymore.

  “Tell me, Toby. Or I’ll find someone who will.”

  I don’t know what that even meant, or who I would find, but the empty threat seemed to work. Or maybe he was just realizing as I was that I wasn’t the little naïve girl that needed protecting anymore.

  He sighed, then gripped the steering wheel tighter. I watched the color drain from his knuckles. “It wasn’t supposed to be your dad in that car accident that night, Ever.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  �
��It was supposed to be you.”

  My mind reeled from the news, my heart falling deep into my gut. My dad wasn’t supposed to die.

  I was. Me.

  My dad died for me. Because of me.

  “I knew you were supposed to die that night, so I took you away from your mom and dad, hoping I could change your fate. I had no idea that someone in your family would die in your place, Ever. I just had no idea.”

  “So I was supposed to be the one running out for some effing olive oil? I was supposed to die? He died because of me!”

  The tears were flowing fast as the truth of it all hit me right in that gaping hole in my chest left by my dad’s death. As if I hadn’t suffered enough, that semi-healed hole stretched open, tearing and spreading all over again, the pain gripping my heart like a vice.

  “My dad died because of me,” I sobbed into my hands.

  “No! He died because of me. Because I couldn’t protect you from that pain. Because I loved you too much and couldn’t let you go. He died because I was selfish.”

  The answers I’d been searching for, waiting for, were finally revealed, and I was devastated. Beyond devastated. My chest felt open and empty, the cavernous hole exposed to the world.

  “Pull over.”

  “Here?” Toby asked.

  “Yes! Here, dammit! Pull over, Toby!”

  I threw my hand over my mouth, grabbing at the door handle with the other, then jumped out of the car before Toby even had it in Park. I leaned over, hands on my knees, and expelled the massive plate of chilaquiles I’d had that morning.

  Doors slammed behind me, and I realized Jessie and Greg were running up the side of the highway.

  “Ever?” Jessie shrieked. “What’s wrong with her?”

  She made it to my side, then grabbed my hair in one hand and rubbed circles on my back with the other.

  Tears flowed from my eyes, falling straight down into the pile of vomit at my feet, but I was done throwing up, my body only slightly heaving now.

  “Toby? What’s wrong with her? Is it what we ate? I feel fine—”

  “Jess,” I said, wiping the back of my hand across my mouth. “It’s not what we ate. It’s…we just…” I couldn’t find the words.

  “What’s wrong, Ev? Seriously. You’re freaking me out.”

  I stood, then pulled in a long deep breath, waiting for the churning in my stomach to ease. “We were just talking, Jess, and I learned… I learned some things about…” I glanced at Toby, whose head was down as he leaned against the hood of his car, keeping his distance.

  “I just heard some stuff I wish I hadn’t heard. That’s all. I’m fine now. Let’s get back on the road.”

  I was far from fine, which Jessie could see plain as day judging by the disbelief written all over her face, but the desperate desire to get home to my mom and Frankie was more important than anything right now, and impossible to ignore.

  “I just want to go home,” I whispered.

  The unmistakable feeling of home that overwhelmed me when pulling onto the street I’d lived on my entire life, was nothing compared to the feeling of watching Frankie run outside to greet me.

  “Ever!”

  I could barely exit the car fast enough. Though a large part of me remained completely at ease with Toby, I was still shaken by his revelations and still thrown by the strange feelings I’d had while being with him these past twenty-four hours. I couldn’t ignore the desire to distance myself from him, even though his opening up to me should have brought us closer.

  Not only was he the reason my dad had died in my place, but he’d lied to me, betrayed me, by keeping such a horrific secret for so long. I also couldn’t ignore the fact that even though he’d clearly been so irate over Ted and Ariadne tricking him and taking his mother—irate enough to attack Ariadne—he’d had no qualms about coming here to do that very same thing to me. Shouldn’t he have felt some sort of hesitation in this? In taking Frankie from us? Shouldn’t he have had empathy toward the loved ones who remained after he collected the lost souls?

  I felt deceived all over again, though he’d sworn up and down he’d never planned for things to turn out the way they had.

  But the feelings I had for Toby aside, and his feelings for me irrelevant, what I was feeling right now was overwhelming. This feeling, with Frankie’s arms around me and his nose in my hair? This feeling was home. His embrace threatened to heal me and undo me all at once. The comfort of his closeness washed over me in waves. Regardless of our relationship’s status now, he was and forever would be my very best friend. I wouldn’t be able to keep my newest, darkest secret from him for long.

  I was the reason my dad died. It was my fault.

  “Ever? Oh thank God!” My mom ran out of the house, and her arms surrounded Frankie and me, squeezing tightly. Fear and relief laced her voice, and I felt wetness on her cheeks as they smooshed into mine. Frankie must’ve told her everything.

  “I’m okay, Mom. I’m here.”

  What would my mom say if she knew about my dad?

  Frankie slid out of my mom’s vice-like grip, and her arms tightened around me even harder. We stood there for a few minutes while Jessie and Greg pulled into the driveway behind Toby’s car. I heard Toby and Frankie say hello to each other, but it sounded more like a series of grunts than a conversation with actual words. Fantastic.

  “Mrs. V.!”

  Mom released me long enough to let Jessie slip into her arms, making this another three-way hug, and I laughed into her shoulder. I was beginning to feel silly making such a spectacle on the front lawn, but it felt good to be in my mom’s arms, regardless of how tightly she squeezed me or how ridiculous we looked.

  “All right, all right guys, let’s go inside. I’m fine, Mom.”

  As fine as someone could be who was about to say goodbye to everyone she’d ever loved, had dead people—Seekers—and soul collectors chasing her for the bounty on her head soul, and had just discovered she was the reason her father had died.

  F-I-N-E.

  Mom pulled back from me, looking over my head at the guys on our lawn. I watched her look from Greg to Frankie, and I could see in the tightening of her eyes when she’d landed on Toby. She was clearly not a fan. Understandable, yes, but I felt obligated to run interference so I said the only thing I knew without a doubt would get her focused on me again.

  “Mom, I’m starving. Can we eat?”

  Mom’s eyes found mine again, and a smile pulled her mouth wide. Tears lined her cheeks, but the thought of feeding all of us brought her momentary joy. “Oh, honey, of course you’re starving! Come in, come in!” She dropped her arms from around my shoulders and laced her fingers through mine. Her other hand found Jessie’s and she led us both inside. Though pulled us both inside is more like it.

  I glanced back at Toby and Frankie, who still stared each other down.

  Greg stepped between them, throwing his big arms around their shoulders to propel them forward toward the house. His head low, he whispered something to them, but I couldn’t make out the words.

  I looked over at Jessie and she winked. “Greg’s got it covered, babe,” she whispered.

  “What are you hungry for, girls? When’s the last time you ate?”

  “Oh my God, Mrs. V., we had the best chilaquiles this morning. But that was hours ago.”

  And I’d thrown mine up somewhere on the side of Interstate 5.

  “Chila-what’s?”

  “Oh, Mrs. V., they’re like nachos, but smothered in enchilada sauce or something. Nachos for breakfast. I’m obsessed.”

  I pulled out of my mom’s grasp and paused just inside the threshold of the house. Home. It looked the same, smelled the same—everything was perfect.

  And I’d be leaving it soon.

  I sighed and headed into the kitchen, following my mom and Jessie’s voices. I glanced back as the guys came inside, noting that Greg really did have it under control. Toby and Frankie weren’t exactly smiling, but they didn’t l
ook like they wanted to kill each other either. So that was good.

  Mom went right to work, chopping up who-knows-what and grilling something on the grill pan, filling the house with mouth-watering aromas. Since my dad died, she’d submerged herself even more into the domestic diva role, cooking and cleaning all the time as if on autopilot. I knew it was her way of keeping busy and keeping his memory alive in the home. He’d been an amazing cook. I wished he’d stayed with us like Frankie had. I could just picture Dad standing next to her as she flitted around the kitchen humming an unknown tune.

  He should be here with her now. Not me.

  “Ev? What are you thinking about?” Jess looked from me to my mom, then back at me again, a sympathetic smile forming on her face. “You know? I think he’s still here,” she whispered, “even if we can’t see him.”

  I smiled, wanting that to be true. Wanting to believe my dad stayed with my mom and watched over her. Wanting to believe he watched over both of us.

  Hoping he didn’t know what I now knew about why he died.

  Tears pooled in my eyes, but I blinked them away.

  Our late lunch was fantastic. Well, the food was, anyway. The meal itself was tense at best. Or maybe that was just how I felt. Mom and Jessie talked about Mexico—the part of our trip before my kidnapping obviously—and Greg chimed in from time to time about the brief minute he’d been seemingly on vacation. But Frankie and Toby said nothing, and the weight of both sets of eyes on me was borderline overwhelming. I’d also catch them glaring at each other from time to time, and the macho staring contest was enough to make anyone crazy. Unfortunately for me, however, I was the only one who noticed it.

  At the point when I’d had as much of my mom’s grilled eggplant pasta as my stomach could hold, I’d also remarkably had enough of Toby and Frankie and their stifling presence.

  “I’m going to my room.”

  My abrupt announcement, combined with the scraping of my chair legs, made everyone jump. All eyes were on me—my Mom’s wide and worried—but it was Frankie who stood.