Small crimes bgooj-1

by Dave Zeltserman

  That was putting it mildly. Her crying had left black smudges under her eyes and streaks of makeup running down her face. Somehow, even strands of her hair had gotten drenched, and were now knotted up and looking like something that might've been pulled out of a drain.

  I reached down and kissed her. Awkwardly, she tried to kiss back.

  'I'm sorry all this happened,' I said. 'Why don't you go get yourself cleaned up.'

  'Will you stay and wait for me?' she asked.

  I shook my head. 'I better get going.'

  'You don't have to. You can stay if you'd like.'

  'I'd like to, but I got to get some rest and figure stuff out.'

  'Will I see you again?'

  'Of course you will. As soon as this is over, we'll get together.'

  I turned to leave and I heard her call out to me. When I looked back, she was blushing. 'Joe, if you go to prison we could still marry.'

  I had to bite my tongue to keep from bursting out laughing. It was so damn funny and sad at the same time. There was no question she wasn't all there, but I smiled as sweetly as I could and told her that was exactly what we would do. And the saddest part was knowing everything that I did about her, I still found myself attracted to her.

  When I got out to the parking lot, I saw that Hal Wheely was gone. I guess he decided I wasn't worth losing sleep over.

  Chapter 16

  I drove aimlessly. At first I was numb, no thoughts, nothing, and then a raw, cold panic overtook me. I knew Dan was serious about his ultimatum, and I knew if I was still alive by Wednesday it wouldn't much matter anyway. After Manny signed his deal and gave his deathbed confession, it would be as good as over for me.

  I tried to think of some way out, but all I could come up with were nutty ideas; like sneaking into the hospital and overdosing Manny myself, or using the sixty-three hundred dollars I had left to bribe an orderly to do the job for me. As I said, they were nutty ideas, and they would've sent me straight to prison, but that was all I could come up with. After a while I started thinking of Phil, of whether there was a chance I could get away with hiding somewhere near his front door with a hunting rifle.

  The panic hit me hard, harder than the other day at Kelley's. It got to the point where I could barely breathe. As I drove, a numbness spread through my legs and arms. I felt as if my limbs were dead and no longer a part of me. And the coldness, Jesus; it was like ice cubes were being pushed into my skull. Then all at once I knew I was going to black out. The world started tilting sideways on me and it was all I could do to pull over, crawl out of my car, and curl up on the side of the road.

  I didn't black out. I came close, but I was able to fight through it. After a while I pushed myself up into a sitting position, grabbed my knees, and rocked back and forth until I felt I could stand. Then I got to my feet.

  My clothes were drenched through with sweat. It took about all the strength I had, but I hobbled to the trunk, opened it, and pulled out my duffel bag. I found some clean clothes and changed there by the side of the road. I had to rest for a while, and then after dumping the duffel bag back into the trunk, I got into the driver's seat, and just sort of collapsed.

  For a long time all I could do was hold my head in my hands. I felt so lousy. I started to think how a few lines of coke would make me feel so much better, how it would help clear out the cobwebs clouding my head. After a while that was all I could think of. It got to the point where I could almost taste cocaine in the back of my throat.

  I forced my head up and looked in my rearview mirror. I looked as bad as I felt. My skin was so damn pale and my eyes so damn red. I steeled myself, and then started the car and pulled back onto the road. My hands shook as I drove. I decided I'd make a quick trip to Kelley's. And, as I told myself, I wanted to see Earl anyway and let him know there were no hard feelings about his affidavit.

  Kelley's was more crowded than the other night. I ended up having to create a makeshift parking spot next to the dumpster. Before going in, I read over the copy of Earl's affidavit that Junior had given me, and then folded it into my jacket's inside pocket.

  The same biker type from the other night looked me over at the door. Inside, the place was jammed. Every seat around the stage was filled and every table was taken. Springsteen's 'My Hometown' blasted over the speakers, and I glanced in the direction of the stage and saw a dark brunette slip out of her G-string. The way I was feeling it made no impact. I headed towards the bar, spotted Earl pouring some draft beers, and nodded at him. He noticed me and gave me a cold eye back in return. The bar was mostly empty. I pulled up a stool so I could sit across from him.

  'How'ya doing, Earl,' I said.

  He lifted his eyes towards me. 'Man, you look like shit.'

  'Yeah, well, I'm feeling kind of crappy.'

  'So you had to come here to spread the wealth, huh? Infect me and my girls and my customers?'

  'I don't think I have anything contagious. Probably just suffering from allergies.' I lowered my voice. I could really use a few lines. Whatever it costs.'

  'I don't know what you're asking.'

  I took twenty dollars out of my wallet and placed it on the bar. 'Come on, Earl, my head's a mess right now. Three lines. That's all.'

  'Wait a second. You trying to buy coke from me? That's illegal, man.'

  I stared at him and he gave me a dead-eyed stare right back.

  'Fine,' I said. 'Make it a beer and a shot of whiskey.'

  He took the twenty bucks off the bar. When he came back, he brought me my drinks and twelve bucks change.

  'Look,' I said, 'if this is about the affidavit, I have no hard feelings about it.'

  'Why should you? I swore on the Bible before I filled that out. You think I perjured myself?'

  'Cut the crap, okay, I know you made a deal with Junior.'

  'You calling me a liar?'

  A vein along his neck was twitching and the muscles in his arms and shoulders had bunched up. He had a look in his eyes that I had seen a couple of times in the past. Once, right before he cracked this guy's skull who was shooting off his mouth about different crap. Another time before he nearly beat two guys to death for harassing one of his girls. On a good day, I'd be able to hold my own against him, but as weak as I was feeling I knew he'd kill me.

  I took the whiskey in one swallow and then followed that up with a healthy drink of beer. Earl stood frozen in malice, his vein still twitching away. I held the beer bottle so I could use it if I had to, although I didn't think it would do me much good.

  'I swear, Earl, I don't have a clue what this is about.'

  'One of my girls died today.'

  'Yeah, I heard. I'm sorry.'

  'Yeah, thanks. You know, that's why we're so crowded tonight. Everyone wants to pay their last respects. Is that why you're here, Joe?'

  I didn't say anything. I just kept watching his vein, watching as it beat faster than a rabbit's heart.

  'It's funny,' he said. 'I never knew about Susie and that DA until today, but what I've been hearing since is that this had been going on for six months. Funny thing is Rooster doesn't get a call till you've been out of jail for… how many days? Three?'

  'Four,' I said.

  His lips separated from his teeth, revealing a thin, bare-fanged smile. 'Yeah, four days. Why do you think that is?'

  'I swear, Earl, I had nothing to do with this.'

  'Why don't you guess anyway?'

  I shook my head and gave a half-hearted shrug.

  'No guess, huh?' He edged closer towards me. 'Hey, man, you want to know something else that's funny? Whoever called Rooster left his name as Joe.'

  That sonofabitch. That was all I could think. That sonofabitch. I could just picture Dan chuckling to himself over that one.

  'You think I'd be that stupid?' I asked, trying to look as dumbfounded as possible. 'You think I'd call and leave my name?

  Come on, Earl, use your brains. You want to know why this happened a few days after I got out of jail? B
ecause whoever did this waited until I got out of jail before calling.'

  He had been edging towards me, but that stopped him in his tracks. A perturbed expression crossed his face, and then he slowly started nodding to himself as he thought over what I said. I guess he decided to give me the benefit of the doubt. He showed me a sheepish grin and refilled my shot glass.

  'Hey, man,' he said. I could've killed you a minute ago. Damn.'

  My hand shook as I picked up the shot glass. I got most of the whiskey down my throat, and only a little of it down the front of my shirt. I signaled for another shot and Earl obliged.

  'Okay, so that's what's behind your affidavit,' I said. 'I can understand that, and I can understand Junior offering you a break, but you know what you wrote's a load of crap. Any way you can back out of it, claim you were coerced by Junior?'

  'Hey, man, I'm not talking about that paper. I can't do anything about it now.'

  'You know it's bullshit.'

  'I don't know nothing like that. I'm sorry about it, but I'm not saying another word, man. Sorry.'

  I started to open my mouth. I was going to say something else, but I saw it was pointless. The whiskey had taken a tiny bit of the edge off, not much, but a tiny bit. I still badly wanted the coke.

  I sighed. 'Well, how about those lines, then. How much?'

  He thought about it, but shook his head.

  'Can't do it, man,' he said.

  'Why not?'

  'I have this rule. If I fuck someone, I can't give them a chance to fuck me back.'

  'Wait, what you're telling me is because you screwed me with that affidavit, you're going to keep screwing me?'

  'Sorry.'

  A couple of guys had come over to the bar to change their tens and twenties into singles. Earl turned his back on me.

  My hands were still shaking and my head was now throbbing. I got off the stool and took a couple of steps towards the exit and stopped. I remembered Toni, how she had no problem scoring coke the other night. Any of the girls could. I turned and started towards the stage area when someone grabbed my arm.

  'Hey, Joe, just the man I wanted to see.'

  I looked down and saw Scott Ferguson. He was wasted, his eyes barely able to focus on me. He pushed himself to his feet, and held onto my arm for support.

  'I need to ask you more about Vassey,' he said.

  I had no choice. I walked him back towards the bar where we would have more privacy.

  'It don't make any sense,' he said. 'Why would Vassey's kid kill Billy? If Billy had the money he owed, what would be the point? It don't make any sense.'

  'Maybe he was stubborn about giving up his money.'

  Ferguson made a face. 'I'll tell you something about Billy,' he said. 'He was a pussy. He would've paid in a second if he thought he'd get hurt. I've been asking around, and from what I hear Vassey's kid worships his old man. He wouldn't try ripping him off. So why in the world would he kill Billy?'

  'I don't know whether Junior killed your brother or not,' I said, 'but I told you the other day,; the guy's a psycho. He gets off on hurting people, and if he was collecting from your brother my guess is he got carried away.'

  All I could think of was getting free of him. Whatever I had to do to speed it up. I took Earl's affidavit from my jacket pocket and handed it to him.

  'Read this,' I said. 'I talked to Earl and he admitted to me that he manufactured it for Junior. As you can see, Junior's already trying to cover his tracks.'

  Ferguson's doughy features hardened as he stared at the affidavit. It took him a while, but he got through it.

  'How come you're mentioned in it?' he asked, his expression turning more surly.

  'Because Junior's creating himself an alibi, and at the same time pointing the finger at me.'

  'Why you?'

  'I guess he thinks it's plausible. I just got out of jail. People here in Bradley don't feel all that favorable towards me, and I guess no one would really care if I got charged with something like this. I'm as good a patsy as anyone.'

  As Ferguson mulled over what I said, I took the affidavit out of his hands and slipped it back into my inside jacket pocket.

  'Hey, I wanted to keep that!'

  'Sorry, I need it.'

  His eyes narrowed and his lips compressed, and he looked like all the other drunks I've seen over the years before they threw their first punch. He inched closer to me, his breath smelling like an open bottle of bourbon.

  'How do I know there's not a good reason for pointing a finger at you?'

  'If there was, I would've had Earl fill out an affidavit for me long before he did this one.'

  He thought about what I said, mumbled something that I couldn't quite hear, and then seemed to lose interest in me. I watched as he staggered back to his table.

  I walked around the room so I could get to the stage without having to pass Ferguson again. There were no empty seats, so I squeezed in near the loudspeakers. I took out a twenty and signaled with it. A tall, skinny blonde was now onstage. She spotted the twenty and came over. I started to slip the bill under her garter belt, but she moved my hand so I would slide it in under her G-string. Up close, she had way too much makeup on, and her face almost seemed to crack when she smiled. She leaned over and whispered in my ear about us partying alone in one of the back rooms when her set was done. I nodded. I didn't care who she was or what she looked like. All I could think about was the cocaine.

  She lingered on, trying to give me my twenty dollars' worth, and trying to make sure I'd stick around after her set was over. After she moved away, she kept smiling over at me, even when other guys were slipping dollar bills under her garter belt. When she moved a certain way I caught sight of a dark bruise along the inside of her thigh. I wondered briefly what her makeup was covering up. It didn't matter to me, though. I was still going to join her in a private room. And if I had to screw her first to get the cocaine, I'd do that also.

  I felt a small hand rubbing my shoulder, and then a voice next to me yelling, 'Hey!' I turned and saw Toni grinning wickedly. She looked even more stunning than the other day. She was also wearing less – only a sheer black negligee and panties.

  She tried saying something to me, but I couldn't hear her over the music. She got on her toes and talked into my ear, her breath hot against me. The touch of her lips made my spine tingle.

  'I still owe you something from the other night,' she said. 'What do you say, Joe? You want to go somewhere private and finish what we started?'

  I reached down to ask whether she could get her hands on more coke. The scent of her made me dizzy. She told me she could. She took hold of my hand and led me around the speakers and through the curtains separating the back hallway.

  The room we took was identical to the one we were in before. Toni locked the door and told me to relax. I sat back on the carpeted bench. As she came towards me, she was still grinning that same wicked grin.

  'You got the coke?' I asked.

  'First things first,' she said.

  She reached her hand towards me. I thought she was reaching to caress my cheek, but she quickly brought her hand back and nailed me good. She couldn't have weighed more than ninety pounds and her clenched fist was less than a third the size of mine, but her punch snapped my head back. She must've got me with the side of her fist – the fleshy part above the wrist – and I was damn sure she broke my nose. She got in two more punches before I could stop her. One of them rapped me in the mouth. After I pinned her against the wall, I checked with my thumb and felt a tooth move. I was lucky she didn't knock it out completely.

  She was calm, but there was a white-hot intensity burning on her face.

  'You should die for what you did,' she said. 'Yeah, and what did I do?’

  ‘You dirty bastard.'

  'I've been hearing that a lot lately. So come on, what did I do?’

  ‘You bastard. You dirty bastard. You sent Paul to that motel room.'

  'Not me. I had nothing to do wi
th it.'

  She looked like she wanted to spit in my face. As I looked at her, I realized I didn't care anymore. Screw her. Screw Dan. Screw all of them. None of it mattered.

  'I know who did, though,' I said. 'He's a buddy of yours. Want to guess?'

  Doubt flickered in her eyes.

  'No guess, huh?' I said. 'I'll tell you, if you punched him in the nose he wouldn't be taking it as nicely as I am now. He'd probably have a couple of his deputies dig a hole in the woods to plant you in.'

  I could see fear in her eyes, because she knew what I was telling her was true. It was more than that, though. If Dan ever found out she knew of his involvement, he'd take care of her just the same. She knew that also.

  The fear in her was now palpable. 'You told Dan so he'd send Paul to that motel,' she said.

  'No, not me.' I shook my head. 'If I had any idea he was going to do something like that I would've called Phil and warned him.'

  'Why do you think it was Dan?'

  'I asked him after I heard about the shooting and he admitted it to me. You have to remember, the two of us go way back.’

  ‘How did he find out about Susie?'

  'I don't know.' I had her pinned with my forearm, and I used my free hand to gingerly touch my nose. I winced as I did. I could feel the blood dripping from my nostrils.

  'Look,' I said. 'If I let go of you, you're not going to punch me again?'

  She shook her head. I let go, and sat on the bench and held my head back. I pinched my nostrils to try to stop the bleeding.

  'If I had to guess,' I said, talking slowly and deliberately because I was breathing in through-my mouth, 'he probably found out the same way I did. When you do coke, Toni, you get a little too free with your words. It's something you should watch.'

  'You're lying.'

  'Why would I lie? You think I care at all what you think?'

  There was a long silence and then she started to cry. It wasn't real loud, but loud enough for me to hear it. I lifted my head and could see her bawling away, her small face screwed up in pain, her shoulders rising and lowering rhythmically. I tilted my head back and closed my eyes. All I could think was, fine, let her feel half as lousy as I do. As I sat there I realized I was still craving cocaine. Even with a bloody and broken nose, if I had a few lines, I would have snorted them up without a second's thought. I guess at that point I had hit rock bottom. I just started laughing thinking about it. It hurt like hell to laugh, but I couldn't help myself.