“I don’t believe you, but as it so happens he does have someone special. They’re to be married and I won’t have you spoiling it for them.”
“Josh is getting married?” Color drained from her already pale cheeks. “When? To whom?” she couldn’t help asking.
“That’s none of your business. Now I’m through answering your foolish questions. I want you off my property, or must I call the police?”
“That won’t be necessary, but will you at least please tell Josh that I wish him every happiness?” Her throat burned as she forced the words out.
“Why should I when the mere mention of your name infuriates him.”
Unable to take any more of Ivy’s surliness, Catherine turned away. Tears blurred her vision, as she backed down the driveway under Ivy’s fierce stare. She’d just turned onto the main road when a pickup truck came behind her and honked.
She looked in her rearview mirror and saw to her surprise that it was Jerry motioning for her to stop. She pulled over to the side and quickly wiped the flat of her hand across her wet cheeks, as he jogged to her car.
“Coming from my mother-in-law’s from the look of you,” he said and snorted in disgust. “I think it’s about damn time someone around here sets the record straight.”
“If it’s about Josh getting married, Ivy told me,” she said, her voice quivering.
Both his brows shot up.
“Married!” He shook his head. “What will that woman come up with next to keep him in her clutches? What you don’t know is a lot and I for one am sick to death of this charade.” He opened her door. “Move over, we need to talk.”
>>>>dreams<<<<
The chunky heels of her boots echoed loudly against the cement, as Catherine made her way along the narrow walkway. The path wound its way between rows of small cabins that flanked her on either side. It sounded like someone was having a party nearby. Music and laughter drifted out into the night. Lights from the windows made a pattern of golden squares on the snow that reminded her of brightly wrapped packages.
She slowed her pace when the last cabin came into view. Despite the cold night air, perspiration trickled down her back beneath her sweater and coat. She walked a few more yards and stopped. She was so close now she could see someone’s silhouette moving behind the curtains. Was it Josh? Jerry said he’d become a bit of a loner. At least she hoped she wouldn’t be interrupting him if he was entertaining someone.
She stepped onto the tiny porch. Her hand shook when she reached to knock on the door. It opened so quickly she barely had a chance to take a breath. Josh stood there, filling her senses. Her pulse went wild, as she devoured him with her eyes. He looked tall and fit in dark brown cords and black sweater. Lost in a rush of sensual memories, she drank in the sight wanting to touch him so badly her fingers twitched.
Anger flashed, turning his eyes stormy and dark.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he demanded in a voice that matched the icicles hanging from the nearby eaves.
His brusqueness made her pulse hammer with fresh nerves.
“Jerry gave me your address. I came because I need to talk to you.”
“I doubt if you have anything to say that I’d want to hear.”
She hurried on before she lost her nerve.
“Your return from the Amazon was a miracle. I don’t want us to continue to waste that miracle. You came to me first because you loved me. My heart belonged to you when you went away and it still does. It isn’t fair that a misunderstanding should continue to keep us apart, especially when there’s a way to make things right between us. You need to trust me.”
“I made the mistake of trusting you once and I don’t intend to do it again. What I need is for you to go away and leave me alone.”
His anger felt like teeth tearing her apart. First Ivy and now Josh. It seemed she was destined to beg when dealing with the Dallas family.
“You’ve been alone too long already, Josh. Please let me talk to you. It’s very important – and it isn’t just about us.”
“Put it in a letter,” he snapped and started to close the door.
Desperate to get through to him, she lunged forward, tripped on the doormat, and grabbed the railing just in time to keep herself from falling at his feet.
“Tom’s dead!” She blurted the words out hating the way she’d been forced to reveal the shocking news.
He yanked the door back.
“What did you say?” His voice sounded like someone had grabbed him by the throat.
“Tom, he . . . he died. That’s why I had to see you.” Ignoring his dangerous looking scowl, she took a step forward. “Now will you please let me come in?”
Chapter Fifteen
His nostrils flared. “What the hell are you talking about? Don’t you think my family would have told me something as drastic as that? What kind of sick game is this?”
“Do you really think I’d make up something so terrible?” She rushed on before he could have a chance to answer her. “Your family didn’t say anything because they didn’t want to upset you. I don’t relish being the one to relate the painful details, but you have a right to know. It happened a week after you left my aunt’s.”
“And you’re just now getting around to telling me? It obviously wasn’t a top priority for you. Why bother coming at this late date?”
“I couldn’t come any sooner because I didn’t know where you were until a couple of days ago. Jerry told me. He felt this conspiracy had gone on long enough.”
“Conspiracy?” he rolled his eyes. “Jerry certainly didn’t do me a favor by sending you. He should have called himself and spared me the aggravation of seeing you again.”
His words hurt so much she thought her heart would shatter, but she swallowed the pain and forced herself to go on.
“This isn’t the kind of thing a person should hear on the phone. Jerry thought you might want to have someone with you when you found out.”
“He was wrong. I don’t need anyone, least of all you. Are you finished now?”
“No, there’s more.” She peered over his shoulder. “Can we go inside?”
He shifted until his body blocked the doorway.
“I’m not in the habit of inviting unwanted people into my home.”
She sighed, defeated.
“All right, if that’s the way you want it. Tom drowned.”
“Ha! Now I know you’re lying. He’s always been a very strong swimmer.”
“Perhaps when he chose to be, but not this time. It wasn’t an accident, Josh.”
His eyes narrowed.
“Are you saying that he killed himself?”
“Sadly, yes. A man walking his dog on the beach witnessed everything. He saw Tom’s clothes piled on the sand and spotted him swimming way out. He called for help on his cell phone and went in after Tom, but the currents and the waves were too strong. He had to turn back, but not before he saw Tom go under and not resurface again.”
“Are you here to tell me it’s my fault?”
She had not expected that reaction from him.
“No! Oh, God no, not at all.”
“What did you say to him after I left your aunt’s that day?” he demanded.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I don’t believe you. You must have at least told him I was there.”
“I didn’t have a chance. Tom never knew you had returned from South America.”
Josh was quiet for so long Catherine began to wonder if he’d understood her. She saw how white his knuckles were where his hand squeezed the edge of the door.
“All right, you’ve delivered your message. I see no reason to continue this conversation.”
He started to close the door, but she slapped her hand against it. “Don’t send me away like this. I leave in the morning, and there’s so much I need to tell you.”
“It seems to me you’ve said enough already, most of which I’m sure are lies.”
“No J
osh. You have to listen to me. There are things you don’t know. If you’ll just let me come inside for a few minutes I’ll explain everything that’s happened.”
“I told you I don’t want you in my house.” His chest heaved. “Need I remind you that you dumped me and trashed my relationship with my best friend? If you had any sense of decency at all you’d leave me alone instead of coming here turning the screws.”
“I didn’t come to hurt you. I’m here to straighten things out, so you won’t continue to think badly of us, especially Tom. He thought of you as his friend to the end, Josh. I can’t bear to think of you continuing to sully his memory with your bitterness.”
“Then don’t insult my intelligence with your wild tale. You’re wasting your time if you expect me to apologize. Go back and tell Tom your little scheme didn’t work.”
“It’s not a scheme. Please let me tell you the reason why he took his own life.”
His anger flashed anew.
“Stop it!”
She thought he had the look of someone who would like to break something with his bare hands. Instinctively, she took a couple of steps back away from him.
“I know Tom, and he wouldn’t have the guts to kill himself.”
“He was your best friend,” she reminded him. “Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Ex friend.”
“I don’t understand how you can be so unfeeling.”
“I feel just as much as the next person, perhaps more than some. I’ve felt a depth of loneliness that has left empty places inside me that will probably never be filled. I wanted us to be together, but you made your choice. Go back to Tom and leave me be.”
Crushed by his rejection, she allowed the door to slam in her face.
>>>>dreams<<<<
Josh spent most of the night tossing and turning. He still ached from seeing Catherine, and his anger had been the only thing that kept him from making a fool of himself by pulling her into his arms. But there were other things to worry about. What if she’d been telling the truth about Tom? They may not be friends anymore, but he didn’t want the man dead. It didn’t make sense that Tom would do such a thing when he had everything to live for. Josh rejected the idea to call his family. He didn’t want them to know Catherine had managed to break through his defenses.
He was up and dressed at first light pacing until he could head for the airport and confront Catherine. He spotted her as soon as he entered the small terminal. His heartbeat immediately quickened. Her beauty had never ceased to rev up his system.
“Catherine.”
She spun around at the sound of his husky voice and her eyes lit up.
“Josh! I didn’t expect to see you here. I’m so glad you came.”
“Either you’re a consummate actress, or I’m a damn fool, but I took the hook.
We’re going to finish this charade, or whatever it is, right now.” He jerked his head toward an area dotted with small tables. “You have time for coffee before your flight.” He chose a corner table away from foot traffic. “Do you still take it black with sugar?”
“You remembered,” she smiled, not realizing how it made his pulse escalate.
“I can remember a lot of things, and maybe that’s more of a curse than a blessing,” he said in a hard voice making her smile fade. He returned and took a chair opposite her. “First off, you should know that I don’t appreciate being here.”
“Obviously, so why did you come?” she asked, matching his cold tone.
“Despite everything that’s happened between us, Tom was like a brother to me. In many ways the bond we shared went deeper. That’s why it tore me up when I saw you two together.” His hand drew into a fist where it lay on the table. “Did you have an affair with him? I have to know. I’ve lived with that image inside my head eating at me.”
“No Josh, it was nothing like that.” She made her voice softer now. “We were lonely and we had you in common. We did not betray you. I can’t bear to have you go on thinking otherwise. It’s not fair to him. That’s one of the reasons I had to come here.”
“Then what did I see that day? Was I hallucinating? What about that baby I saw? He was the spitting image of Tom. Are you going to tell me I was wrong about that, too?”
“No one who knew Tom would argue with you on that. He most definitely is Tom’s son, but I didn’t give birth to him.”
His forehead wrinkled in a frown.
“If not you, then who is the mother?”
She reached in her purse, pulled a picture from her wallet, and slid the photo across the table to him.
“My cousin Nancy was. That was taken on their wedding day.”
He picked up the picture.
“They look very happy. What do you mean by ‘was’?”
“I introduced her to Tom and they fell in love. They were married within weeks of their first meeting and she became pregnant right away. But something terrible happened near the end of her pregnancy. She became ill and nothing the doctors did could stop it. They had to take the baby to save him. Tom was devastated. He spent every moment sitting by Nancy’s bedside watching helplessly while she slipped away.”
“How awful. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for all of you.”
“We’d just brought the baby home from the hospital the day you showed up. Tom was getting ready to go back to be with Nancy. What you mistakenly thought was an embrace between lovers was actually me trying to comfort Tom.”
“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions,” he said in a voice filled with regret.
“Maybe if you hadn’t been so ill yourself you would have noticed that Tom was in a pretty bad way, too. Nancy died the next day, and he couldn’t get over losing her.”
“Ah Jesus,” he groaned. “Poor Tom. He finally finds a woman to love only to have her be taken away.” He slid the picture back, as the first reluctant nudge toward acceptance began to take hold. “Then you were telling the truth; he’s really gone?”
She nodded, and taking a moment, slowly tucked the photo back inside her purse.
“Yes Josh, he is. I’m so sorry,” she said, her own sorrow making her voice wobble.
Josh pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Just give me a minute here.” His voice broke; a powerful shudder went through his body, engulfing his senses as raw grief replaced the months of anger he’d felt toward his friend. When he looked up his eyes were suspiciously bright.
“And who has been taking care of the baby all this time?”
“I have, with my aunt’s help. I moved in with her right after he was born. Tom asked me to take little Tommy before he . . .” she stopped when Josh held up a hand.
“The baby’s name is Tommy?”
“That’s what Nancy wanted as soon as they found out they were having a boy.”
“Although I wasn’t in any shape to handle something so traumatic, I deeply regret not having the opportunity to see Tom before it was too late. I probably wouldn’t have been much use to him, but someone should have at least told me what had happened to him once I’d recovered. I can’t believe he’s been dead all this time and I never knew.”
“It’s not your fault. I wanted to go to you, but your mother said you were too ill. You mustn’t blame yourself for something you had no control over.”
“You don’t need to try and protect me by minimizing my behavior. Knowing Tom, I should have realized he never would have been disloyal to me. I’ve wasted a lot of time hating him. My only excuse is that I was so messed up I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“You’d obviously been through a lot. It’s so good to see you looking well again,” she said ignoring the remnants of suffering that still lingered in his eyes.
“Appearances can be deceiving. I may look okay, but I wouldn’t say I’m completely healed. I’m finding it more difficult to close the wounds inside.”
“You’re not alone in that. I understand how you feel, believe me.”
“I’m sorr
y for everything I said and did. I’m sorry that I ever went to that God forsaken jungle, but most of all I regret not being around when Tom needed me.”
The hard knot that had twisted her insides for so long, unraveled. She reached across the table. He grabbed her hand.
“Would you like a chance to make it up to him?”
His brows arched.
“Of course I would, but he’s gone, how can I?”
“You can be a father figure to little Tommy. I’m sure that’s what Tom would have wanted.” Her flight was announced at that moment. She reluctantly eased her hand away and stood up. “I have to go. I hope you’ll give some serious thought to my suggestion.”
Josh shoved his own chair back.
“Being a parent is a big responsibility.”
“Yes it is, but it’s also very rewarding. Tommy is a darling little boy and well worth spending time with.” She picked up her suitcase. “Thank you for coming, Josh.”
“No, I’m the one who should be thanking you. I’ve been in hell all these months believing you and Tom were together and that I’d lost you. I appreciate you taking the time to seek me out, Catherine, and I’m sorry for the way I treated you last night.”
“You were entitled considering what you thought had happened. I didn’t get to say this to you at my aunt’s, but deep down I think I always knew you were alive. Love can make a person have hope even when everything tells you you’re wasting your time.”
Her words struck a chord within him, and he could feel the icy wall around his heart begin to give way.
“Yeah and hope is a hell of a lot easier to handle than hate.”
Chapter Sixteen
Three days later Catherine left work and drove home to her aunt’s. She stepped from the car, stopping for a few moments to inhale the scent of the climbing roses draped gracefully along the top rail of a white picket fence. She was at the front steps when she got her first glimpse of an unfamiliar pickup truck parked at the side of her aunt’s house.
Dreams~Shadows of the Night Page 11
