She angered him when she told him they needed more time to get used to each other again and she upset him further by turning down his suggestion that she move in with him, using the excuse she didn’t want to leave the baby or take him from her aunt.
She was spending another night at his apartment and as usual most of the time had been spent in bed. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy their lovemaking, but it was beginning to trouble Catherine that it seemed to be their only form of communication. There were times Josh seemed almost desperate to have her be a part of him, and he’d make love with such intensity they were both left feeling totally exhausted, but strangely unfulfilled.
But tonight had been one of their gentler couplings, as Josh teased her body into sweet surrender with soft kisses and hands that moved slowly over quivering flesh. He stretched his length alongside her now and hooked a muscular leg over her calves. His expression, filled with lazy satisfaction reminded Catherine of a large contented feline.
His lips trailed up the side of her neck lingering in the small hollow beneath her ear causing her to shiver. He gave her neck one last nuzzle before propping himself up on an elbow.
“I checked your schedule and you don’t have to work this weekend.”
“That’s right. Do I take that to mean you’ve made some kind of plans for us?”
“Yes and I hope you’ll agree with them. I want you to come with me to my folks and bring Tommy. I’ll make all the arrangements and promise we’ll only stay one night.”
He’d asked her to go with him before, and so far she’d been able to put him off.
“My aunt and I were planning on taking him shopping this weekend. He needs new shoes and a couple of outfits,” she said, hoping to once again stall the inevitable.
“We both know you can do that any time. You must admit my family has been more than patient waiting to see him. We’ve circled around this before and to tell you the truth, I don’t understand why you haven’t suggested getting together with them yourself.”
She didn’t miss the slight censure in his tone and felt herself stiffen.
“I’m not exactly your family’s favorite person,” she said carefully, dreading the conversation.
“That’s my fault after the way I carried on about you. Everything is fine now.”
“I’m not so sure about that. They all knew Tom loved Nancy and that she was the baby’s mother, but they still let you go on believing I was having an affair with him.”
“How do you know they didn’t try to tell me the truth? I was pretty out of it.”
“There was time when you’d recovered. They think they’re right about me.”
“What makes you say that?”
>>>>dreams<<<<
“I was with Tom when he told them about you being kidnapped. They assumed I was his girlfriend until I told them about our relationship. But your mother still thought Tom and I would want to sleep together that night. After you told the family Tom and I were having an affair and I’d given birth to little Tommy, they were angry and felt that I had deceived them. Jerry was the only one who gave me the benefit of the doubt.”
“Okay, maybe they did, but I’m telling you everything’s been set to rights.”
“Has it? I think they still need someone to blame for what happened to you.”
“The hell with that. They can’t go on making you the scapegoat for Pete’s sake. If that’s what’s worrying you, I’ll talk to them.”
“I’d rather you didn’t. Defending me might cause more repercussions and I don’t want to add to the problems your family already has with me. They need time to come to grips with everything.” She wanted to tell him it was his mother who had caused the riff and who continued to foster a grudge, but she was afraid he wouldn’t believe her.
“They’ve had enough time already. You’re an important part of my life and my future, Catherine. They’ll have to learn to accept that. Come with me. Everything will be fine. You’ll see. It’ll be a good way to smooth out any grievances by having the baby there with us. Nobody’s going to be able to stay angry with you once they see him.”
Thinking of Ivy made her feel as though she was deliberately heading for the spider’s web.
“I hope you’re right. I don’t have your confidence, but I’ll go because I know Tom would have wanted them to see his son.”
“He would. I’ve really become attached to the little guy.” He leaned down and brushed her lips in a gentle kiss. “Maybe someday we can make him our son together?”
She realized it was another way to get her to marry him.
“We might some day if that’s what you think you need,” she said peering at him from beneath her lashes.
He moved on top of her and grazed his teeth along her jaw before moving down to the soft curves of her breasts. She rose up against him and caught her breath when a tingling sensation ran all the way down her arms to her fingertips while warmth coiled and unfurled in her belly.
“You are what I need, Catherine,” he groaned and flipping over, pulled her on top of him. “That’s all my family has to understand and they’ll come around when they do.”
She wanted to believe him, but Catherine knew Ivy wouldn’t be anxious to accept her back into Josh’s life, even if it was what he wanted. She couldn’t stop that little nugget of doubt even as she responded to the pressure of his body’s demands.
>>>>dreams<<<<
Anyone who knew Ivy understood that she liked being in control, especially when it came to her family. Josh gave her anxious moments with some of the work assignments he insisted on taking, but none were as terrifying as the one in the Amazon when he’d gone missing for all those months. She had grieved with a broken heart thinking he was dead.
Once she found out that he may have taken the job for extra money to marry Catherine, Ivy’s anguish turned to hostility that quickly transferred to the young woman. She’d disliked Catherine at first sight. She was envious of her delicate beauty and intelligence, but most of all she was jealous that her son desired Catherine.
When she discovered Josh had gone to Catherine first, instead of coming home upon his return, Ivy had been consumed with resentment. By the time he finally did arrive on their doorstep, a shattered man consumed with fear that he’d lost Catherine to Tom, Ivy despised her with a fury that knew no bounds. Layers of anger continued to build until she’d encased herself in a shell of hatred too thick for empathy to break through.
Ivy set herself up as judge and jury and plotted revenge against Catherine as meticulously as a general going to war. She would have preferred that Josh stay close to home, but she’d consoled herself with the knowledge that taking the job in a remote area of Alaska had kept him away from Catherine, until Jerry had intervened.
Now despite all her careful planning, Josh had come here with all the appearance of settling back into a relationship with Catherine. Because he seemed blinded to the fact that she was wrong for him, Ivy knew it was up to her to rescue her son from his own confused emotions. She had no qualms about using any means at her disposal to accomplish her goal, including Josh’s obvious attachment to Tom’s child.
It hadn’t surprised her that Tom had taken his own life. The man had always been weak and apparently he’d entangled himself with a woman as feeble in spirit as himself. Although she cared nothing for their baby, Ivy had seen that he would be a convenient tool in implementing her plan. Now all she needed to do was get Josh alone.
>>>>dreams<<<<
He wandered into the kitchen where Ivy was washing dishes. She dried her hands and smiled at him.
“Where’s Catherine?” she asked, hiding her animosity.
“Upstairs putting the baby down for a nap.”
“He’s like a small replica of Tom, isn’t he?”
“Yeah. Sometimes it almost hurts to look at him knowing Tom is gone.”
“I know, but we have to be thankful that Tom left this wonderful little bit of himself behind.” She pointed to a
coffee pot. ”Will you join me for a cup? It’s fresh.”
“Sure.” He pulled out a chair and sat down.
“Where’s Dad?”
She touched her cheek.
“At the dentist. A filling fell out last night.” Ivy filled the mugs and brought them over to the table. “Would you like another piece of cake?”
Josh shook his head and patted his stomach.
“No thanks, I’m about to bust as it is from everything I shoveled in during lunch. The food was great as always, Mom.”
She sat across from him. “It’s so wonderful how you’ve gained back your weight. It was hard seeing how emaciated you were after your return from South America.”
“I guess I did resemble someone out of a horror movie.”
“I don’t like to think about it.” She touched a hand to her heart. “It hurts too much knowing that you suffered and I was helpless to do anything to stop it.”
“I made you suffer, too and I’ll always be sorry for that.”
“Well, you’re here now and that’s the most important thing.” She waited a heartbeat. “I’m glad we’re having this opportunity to talk in private because I have some things I need to tell you. They’re not pleasant, but they have to be said.”
“What things?” he asked warily.
Despite his guarded look, she was determined to go on knowing she had enough salient facts to add credence to the story she’d concocted. “I’m talking about Catherine’s behavior while you were away.”
“I was afraid of that.” He shoved himself to his feet. “I don’t want to hear it. I’m trying to put negative stuff behind me. It’d make things a lot easier if you would, too.”
She clutched his hand to keep him from walking away. “Darling, listen to me, please. You know how much I love you. The only thing that matters to me is for you to be happy. I would just as soon cut my tongue out than say anything that might hurt you, but there are things you don’t know about Catherine. If you still want to be with her after I finish, then I can’t stop you, but at least I’ll know I did my best to try and save you.”
“Save me? Don’t you think that sounds a bit melodramatic?” He jerked his chair back and sat down again. “Tell me something; why do you dislike her so much?”
“Because she’s a selfish, deceitful woman. She barely showed any concern that you’d been kidnapped. She only cared about her own self.”
Ivy allowed the ice inside her to coat her words now.
“You have no idea what went on while you were gone. No matter what she’s told you, she did have an affair with our poor hapless Tom. She led him on all the way, and he followed along like a puppy on a leash.”
Chapter Eighteen
“You’re wrong, Mother. They wouldn’t do that to me,” he insisted. “I don’t know why you’d think they would. Anyway, you haven’t any proof.”
“Oh, but I do.” He shot her a surprised look and Ivy began to relate her carefully constructed tale. “For one thing, she was at his apartment practically every time I called, and they slept together when they came here that night to tell us about your kidnapping.”
“I don’t believe you. Tom wouldn’t have shared a bed here in your house.”
“I went upstairs to see if they needed anything before I went to bed. I could hear Tom’s voice in Catherine’s room and believe me he was doing more than talking to her.”
“Were you spying on them?” he demanded. “Jesus Mother, that’s sick.”
“Of course not. I told you, I merely wanted to see if they were settled in.” She watched, as he shook his head obviously refusing to accept her explanation. “Josh, I changed the sheets. Tom’s bed hadn’t been slept in and Catherine bedding reeked of sex.”
His chest heaved.
“Why are you doing this? Do you enjoy tearing me apart?”
“You know better than that. I have to tell you the truth. My conscience simply won’t allow me to sit back and watch Catherine continue to hurt the innocent. I blame her for Tom’s death. You know how sensitive he was. She led him on until he was hopelessly enthralled with her. Then she decided she wanted some widowed doctor at her hospital and went after him. Successfully, I might add, as their affair went on for quite a while.”
His hands curled into tight fists.
“Who told you she was with another man?”
“Tom. He called me one day literally crying his heart out over her defection.”
“Who is this doctor? Do you know his name?”
“I do. It’s Ryan Wade. You can check with the hospital if you don’t believe me. But right now you should be more concerned with what happened to poor Tom. He was beside himself and when he tried to continue on with Catherine, she manipulated him into a relationship with her cousin, so she could concentrate on her affair with the doctor. Tom ended up eloping with the girl to Las Vegas because she got herself pregnant.”
“It wasn’t exactly the Immaculate Conception, Mother. From what I understand Tom was very much in love with Nancy and he was devastated when she died. The family should have been there for him. I know I couldn’t be, but what about the rest of you? Now that we’re on the subject, why didn’t any of you try to help Tom?”
She wasn’t about to admit that she’d waited several days after Catherine’s call before she told the family about Tom. Nor would she admit how, when John suggested contacting Catherine, she’d convinced him the girl didn’t want to have anything to do with them. Hearing Josh’s accusing tone made Ivy dig in her heels like a bull preparing to charge. “Because Catherine told us she and her aunt preferred to have us stay away.”
“That doesn’t make sense. She knew Tom was like family.” He frowned. “Maybe he was so in love with Nancy that he felt he didn’t need any of us as much as he used to.”
“Perhaps. But how do you know he loved this Nancy? We only have Catherine’s say so. Men get women pregnant every day without marrying them. I think Tom took her on because she was the cousin, so he’d have an excuse to stay close to Catherine. As for us not being with Tom, we didn’t know about his wife’s illness or death because Catherine couldn’t be bothered to tell us until it was too late. How could you even think that we would have let him suffer alone? If only Tom would have contacted us himself we might have been able to save him.”
“She said Tom didn’t want to upset you because you had to deal with what happened to me, but she felt he needed us and when she did call, you hung up on her.”
Ivy shook her head and clucked her tongue.
“Oh Josh, you know I would never have done such a thing to our Tom. She’s lying like she’s lied about everything else. Look how she’s kept little Tommy from us and if that isn’t bad enough, she’s using the baby to lure you back into a relationship because the doctor dumped her.”
“He dumped her?”
“He certainly did – and to save face, she told everybody she broke it off herself because you had returned and asked her to marry you. She even had the audacity to spread the rumor that you two were secretly engaged before you left.”
“How could she tell everyone we were going to be married when she didn’t even know I had returned from South America until I confronted her at her aunt’s?”
“We did know, dear. I never told you, but Mr. Marsh called us. I telephoned Tom right away to let him know you were back and of course he told Catherine.”
“She certainly didn’t act like she knew, and I asked Marsh not to say anything.”
“Catherine is quite an actress. But please don’t be angry with Mr. Marsh. He thought it would be best to prepare us because he could see you were so ill. I didn’t tell you before now because I gave him my word I wouldn’t mention that he called.”
“He shouldn’t have said anything,” he grumbled.
“I disagree. We had a right to know considering your health. As for Tom, he was upset because Catherine insisted there was no way that they’d ever be together again.”
“He was upset b
ecause his wife died,” Josh contradicted.
“That may have been a small part of it, but it was really Catherine he wanted. Despite having that adorable baby boy to live for, he didn’t even try to bond with his son. I’m afraid dear, misguided Tom still had illusions of being with Catherine. He committed suicide when he finally realized there wasn’t any chance that she would take him back.”
“If you called Tom and told him I had returned, why didn’t he try to contact me?”
“Oh darling, please don’t ask me that. It’s been hard enough for me as it is being the one to tell you all this.” Ivy hung her head while she whipped up a few quick tears.
“Why stop now? You’ve told me everything else you may as well spill the rest.”
“Well, if that’s what you want.” She let out a heavy sigh and dabbed at her tears with her apron. “He told me he was too ashamed to face you after he’d betrayed your trust by sleeping with Catherine. I’m sure all that guilt was another thing that contributed to him taking his own life. That’s another reason I blame her for what happened.”
“He could have kept the affair a secret. I need never have known.”
“Too many people had seen them together. Someone was bound to slip up and tell you sooner or later. But even if no one did, Tom was so eaten up with shame he probably would have ended up confessing to you himself. How could things ever be the same between you once you learned how he’d carried on with Catherine? Tom was your best friend, but he violated that friendship and she encouraged him every step of the way.”
He sucked air through his nostrils like a man fighting to breathe.
“I hate this.”
“I know how difficult all this is for you.” She sighed again. “Tom was such a pragmatic soul. He never saw the world exciting like you. Everything was drab to him.”
“What did you expect from him considering the way he grew up?”
“He could have overcome it if he tried. Whatever joy he did have came from your relationship and look how he repaid you. But Tom always was weak, and I’m sure that’s why Catherine was able to take advantage of him. I hold her responsible for his betrayal more than I blame him. His actions were clearly manipulated by her influence.”
Dreams~Shadows of the Night Page 13
