“Tom never was very good with women. Maybe if I had known any of this I could have talked him out of thinking things were so bad he had to kill himself.”
“No, I say it’s a good thing you didn’t know what was going on. God knows what you might have done if you had heard about his involvement with Catherine.”
His brows lifted.
“Do? What, to myself, or her?”
“Both. You don’t belong with a woman like her. You could do so much better.”
“Why is it so difficult for you to accept that I want Catherine?”
“Because I don’t happen to think you know your own mind. I see what she did to Tom and how she’s twisting you to her will. She only cares about herself. The woman is poison to every man she touches.”
He got up and walked over to lean against a counter. “She told me she loved me.”
Ivy waved her hand in the air, as though she might be flicking at an annoying insect.
“Until the next man comes along she decides she wants. She is incapable of fidelity. She has no heart. She’s pure ice inside. Can’t you see she’s playing you false?”
“I don’t want to believe these things, but I admit you’ve made me feel uneasy. If what you say is true and Catherine’s pretending to need me to soothe her ego, then I have a right to know, but it makes me sick to think she might be responsible for Tom’s death. I can’t believe she’s been deceiving me all this time. I wanted to make a home with her.” He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again his inner turmoil was reflected there. “I thought we’d cleared things up and put the lies behind us for good.”
“That’s what she wants you to think. Please don’t let her hurt you again, son. God knows you deserve to be free from her treachery after all you’ve been through.”
He sank back down on a chair. “If this is true, it looks like I’ve come full circle.”
She reached over and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry I had to spoil what you think you have with Catherine, but I’d rather do it now than later before she ensnares you even more. I have little doubt that she’ll deny everything I’ve said, so whatever you do is up to you. But I will ask you on behalf of Tom that you give your decision careful thought. You owe him that for the years of friendship you had before Catherine came along and ruined it all. She’s the one responsible for destroying Tom.”
“So you’re saying me wanting Catherine makes a mockery of his death.”
“Well, can’t you see in a way it does, dear? But you can make it right. It’s our responsibility to Tom to consider his little boy’s future. We’re fighting for him now.”
“What do you mean? I told you Tom asked Catherine to take care of him.”
Ivy delivered her final salvo.
“Again, we only have her say so. How do we know she didn’t lie about that, too? Given her past history, I for one seriously doubt her claim. Surely you don’t want such a lying woman to be that sweet baby’s mother?” She reached over and gripped his hand. “We must not fail Tom in this.”
“So what would you have me do to try and make things right?”
“Take the baby, and kick Catherine out of all our lives once and for all.”
Chapter Nineteen
The throbbing headache that had plagued Catherine over the last few hours still held her hostage, as she sat next to Josh while driving to her aunt’s place from the airport. Despite his earlier assurance that all of his family would be willing to give her a warm welcome, Catherine had sensed Ivy’s silent malice as soon as she walked into the house.
To make matters worse, Ivy invited Robyn, a woman who’d gone to school with Josh and Tom, to join them. The invitation supposedly was issued to give Robyn a chance to see the baby, but it didn’t take Catherine long to see she was more than just an old friend. The way she looked at Josh and touched him at every opportunity told its own story.
“He’s adorable,” Robyn cooed patting Tommy’s plump cheek while fluttering her eyelashes at Josh, as he sat next to her holding the baby on his lap. “I’m so glad I’m finally getting the chance to meet him. We’ve all been wondering why it’s taken you so long to bring him here,” she said looking around the room to include his family.
Josh’s eyes strayed to Catherine.
“Things have been kind of complicated.”
Ivy stood.
“Well, the fact that you’re here now is a step in the right direction. Of course we’ll expect more frequent visits in the future, so that we can get to know the baby.” She looked at Robyn and then Catherine. “I’d like you two to come help me with the coffee.”
Shocked and somewhat suspicious to be involved in the invitation, Catherine reluctantly followed them to the kitchen where Ivy immediately excused herself and left.
“Ivy felt it would be best to give us a few moments alone,” Robyn explained.
“I can’t imagine why she would think that.”
Her eyes that had glowed with warmth for Josh suddenly turned cold.
“I know you’re sleeping with Josh, but he doesn’t love you. He’s only using you for sex. It’s all about availability. You live near him while I have to stay here to take care of my parents. We’ve loved each other since we were in grade school, and he wants to marry me.”
An idea nudged its way into Catherine’s brain.
“You sent me that note warning me away from him.” She knew by Robyn’s expression she was right and actually felt pity for her. “Don’t you think Josh would have married you by now if that’s really what he was planning?”
“Everything would have been settled if you hadn’t talked him into taking that terrible job in the Amazon. What he went through in that jungle and what you did to him when he got back messed with his head. It’s your fault he’s been so confused.”
“You’re giving me too much credit. I don’t have that kind of influence over Josh.”
“That’s not what Ivy says – and she knows him better than anyone. She said I had to let him go to Alaska, so he could heal. I agreed because I knew it was best for him.”
“If Josh didn’t want us to have a relationship he wouldn’t be with me.”
Robyn pressed her lips together. “You don’t have a relationship. You’re just another one of his meaningless affairs. He always comes back to me. I’m the one constant woman in his life. He needs me and when he walks down the aisle I’m going to be on his arm.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes. Ivy said she’d see to everything, and she’s very good at handling things.”
“You mean like the way she handled things in my apartment?” Catherine said sarcastically.
Robyn’s brow furrowed.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about when she . . .” Catherine stopped.
“Never mind.”
By the time Robyn left, it didn’t surprise Catherine when Ivy insisted Josh walk her out. He returned to the house several minutes later with a smudge of lipstick on his mouth. It didn’t take much imagination to know they’d done more than shake hands.
But Josh’s jovial mood had vanished by the time they’d sat down to dinner last night. It’d been a dismal affair. It was difficult enough having to tolerate his mother’s iciness, but Catherine was more concerned with the alteration in Josh’s behavior.
He’d barely spoken to her and Catherine hadn’t missed his cold stares when their eyes did meet. The undercurrents had continued to swirl between them and it was a relief when she could use the excuse of putting Tommy to bed in order to escape upstairs. She had no idea where Josh slept and wondered if he’d been with Robyn. She tried to tell herself she didn’t care, but knew deep down she wouldn’t hurt so much if that were true.
She’d wanted to skip breakfast to avoid a repeat of the atmosphere at last night’s meal, but she knew Tommy would have to eat. Luckily having the baby to care for gave her a good excuse not to focus her attention on Josh and Iv
y. John, in his usual mild manner was the only one who made an effort to be pleasant to her.
But Catherine knew she couldn’t avoid Josh on their way home. And, as she expected, the flight had been a nightmare in strained silence. She didn’t know what had caused the abrupt change in him, but she was certain Ivy was behind the problem. The tension seemed to radiate from him making her feel the weight of it like a constant pressure.
Despite Josh’s assurance to the contrary, it was obvious that his mother wasn’t willing to forgive and forget the wrongs she felt had been committed. Catherine didn’t need Robyn’s presence to realize Ivy wasn’t going to be happy until she forced her out of Josh’s life and installed Robyn in her place. The hope that they’d be able to progress beyond what they shared in bed was once again slipping away with Josh’s latest mood.
Priscilla came running out to meet them when they drove into the driveway. Catherine handed her the baby and let her take him inside. Josh leaned against the truck with his arms folded across his chest, staring at her. He reminded Catherine of a man ready to do battle.
“Something is obviously bothering you, Josh. Are you going to continue to give me the silent treatment, or tell me what’s on your mind?”
He unfolded his arms and shoved his hands into his front pockets.
“I think it would be a good idea if the baby stayed with my parents for a while.”
“What in the world are you talking about?”
“I know I was out of the loop for a long time, but some facts have recently come to my attention that we need to discuss. In the meantime, I’d like Tommy to go to my folks.” He pulled his hands free. “You needn’t worry. They’ll take good care of him.”
She paced back and forth for a few seconds struggling to keep her temper under control.
“Is this your idea or your mother’s? I’ll bet she’s involved. I told you it was a mistake for me to go with you. I felt her spitefulness the minute I walked into the house.”
“You’re mistaken. My mother’s just naturally reserved. Maybe the real reason you didn’t want to go was because you were having an attack of guilty conscience?”
She stopped.
“No. Why should I? I don’t have anything to feel guilty about.”
“Are you sure about that? What about Dr. Wade?”
“You mean Ryan?”
“So you’re on a first name basis I see. Then you admit you know him?”
“Of course I know him. He’s on the staff at the hospital.”
“How convenient. It must have helped to simplify matters for the two of you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m sure you found his bedside manner particularly welcoming.”
Shocked and insulted by his insinuation, she spoke very deliberately through clenched teeth.
“Go to hell.”
He shoved away from the truck and grabbed her by the arms.
“I’ve already been there. Remember? Is he the reason you won’t marry me?” He gave her a little shake. “You said you loved me and that makes you mine. I don’t want Wade or any other man touching you.”
She pushed him away, oblivious to the hint of desperation in his voice.
“You’re acting like I’m some kind of possession. Is that what you think love is really all about?”
“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Well, however you meant it I’m not yours to control and for your information Ryan is a good friend. He supported me through some very difficult times.”
“I’ll bet. Did he give you his home address for some private consultations, too?”
He had accused her of having an affair with Tom and now this. She could hardly believe it was happening again. It took every bit of her will power not to scream a denial.
“It’s none of your business if I did or didn’t go to Ryan’s house and while we’re at it, you don’t see me bringing up Robyn and the way you two played kissy face.”
Dusty red color spotted his cheeks.
“We grew up together for God’s sake.”
“How convenient,” she mocked using his words. “She told me you two are getting married.” She rushed on. “I’m sure I have your mother to thank for inviting her to the house along with convincing you that I slept with Ryan. She’ll say anything to discredit me and you absorb her lies like a sponge. Did you know she told me you were getting married to keep me from going to you in Alaska? You certainly have a lot of would be brides lining up to get your ring on their finger.”
“That’s crazy talk. I think you’re making this up to make Mom look bad.”
“I’m not. You’re mother’s the one who’s the mistress of deceit here, but you don’t see it.” She pressed fingers to her temple trying to ease the pounding pain. “Oh, what’s the use? We’ve already been through all this. I told you how things were with Tom and now I’m telling you Ryan and I were never lovers. In fact, he was the one who encouraged me to try and get back with you. Everything I’ve said is the truth.”
A quick flash of uncertainty flickered in his eyes before a shutter came down.
“Since I wasn’t here when a lot of things happened, I have to choose who I trust. How do I know you’re telling me the truth?”
“Because I have nothing to hide; I’ve never lied to you, Josh.”
“So you keep saying. But, I happen to have a slightly different perspective on things; and I want what’s best for little Tommy.”
“And you think I don’t? What about my aunt? Aren’t you forgetting about her?
The baby is all she has left of Nancy. How could you be so cruel as to even suggest taking him away from her?”
He ran his hand around the back of his neck.
“I don’t want to hurt her. She’s not the one at fault here. I’ll make sure my parents give her generous visitation rights with him.”
“My God, what makes you think you have the right to make that decision?”
“You’re forgetting that Tom was a part of my family long before your cousin entered the picture. She only had a few months with him, while he was ours for years.”
“There you go again, acting like people are property. You talk like he was a piece of furniture instead of a human being. Tom loved Nancy and that love brought little Tommy into the world. He means everything to my aunt, and she doesn’t deserve to be punished by you or your malicious mother.”
“This is between us, Catherine. Stop trying to drag my mother into this.”
“How can I not when I know in my heart she’s the one who’s twisted your mind against me? The pathetic thing is you don’t recognize her treachery or seem to realize how she bends you to her will. Well, I’m sick to death of trying to explain myself to you and that manipulative woman. If two people are going to make it together there has to be trust. Go away Josh. And while you’re at it, you might want to try learning how to be your own man.”
“You don’t have to tell me what I need to do. I know where my duty lies.”
“I doubt it.” She retaliated. “If you did, you wouldn’t have left. It’s getting so I don’t know what to expect from you. You make me feel like someone pulling the petals off a daisy asking myself will you stay or will you go. Well I’m not the one who went away. I promised Tom to take care of his son and I intend to keep that vow.”
He tugged her by the hand.
“We can’t work this out if you walk away.”
Provoked beyond her endurance, Catherine jerked free.
“Oh no, you’re the only one who’s allowed to walk out on people and slam doors in their face.”
“I’ve already apologized for that. I can’t change what’s in the past. What more do you want from me? You’re making me sound like some kind of monster when all I’m trying to do is rectify some of my mistakes. Let me take the baby and make up for . . .”
She cut him off. “You’re a little late. You could have been here when Tom needed you if you’d thought about so
meone besides yourself.” They’d worked their way up to the front door now. “He always tried to support you, but when he asked you not to take the job in South America it didn’t stop you from leaving him, did it?”
“I can only take desk work so long. Tom understood how things were with me.”
“Yes he did, which is certainly more than you can say about him. I doubt if you ever considered his feelings. You’d take off knowing he’d be here waiting. Have you forgotten how much he admired you? The poor man was practically subservient to you.”
“That’s not true.”
“No? If you don’t know that, then you never really understood what your friendship meant to him. It wasn’t about power or control for Tom. It was about doing whatever he could to please you. You were his idea of perfection. He wanted to be you.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“Like I said, you obviously didn’t understand him.” She spun around and slipped inside, shutting the door in his face and flicking the lock before he had a chance to reply.
He huffed out a breath.
“Well, I sure as hell didn’t win any points here today.”
>>>>dreams<<<<
Heavy brooding and deep nagging uncertainty pushed Josh into a dreadful nightmare that night. Caught in the crossfire between the two most important women in his life, he felt anxiety and doubt whittling away at him as he struggled to deal with their conflicting stories. One of them was obviously lying, but which one was the guilty party?
The question pounded inside his head, as he continued to toss and turn ensnaring himself among the bedding. He labored to bring each breath to the surface, as images continued to torment him. Faces lurked among the shadows of his mind before bursting forth to confront him with guilt, accusations, and ultimatums that made him pull back as though he was stepping too close to the edge of a very dangerous precipice.
Dreams~Shadows of the Night Page 14
