“How is it that you’re sopping wet? Where have you been?”
“To the end of the road,” he mumbled after a few seconds hesitation.
Catherine wasn’t sure she understood what he meant by his cryptic remark, but she could feel the tension that emanated from him. His teeth chattered making her frown.
“You have to get out of your wet things and into a hot shower.”
It amazed her that she could think coherently, let alone talk with the emotions she felt tearing through her. He took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom.
“Looks like you got wet yourself. You can shower first,” he offered and reached in to turn on the taps.
“How about we shower together? I’m not ready to let go of you yet.”
His eyes still blazed with heat, despite the shivers of his chilled body.
“I was hoping you’d say that.”
They watched each other hungrily, as they peeled the sodden clothes from their bodies. When they stepped into the stall together the hot steamy water cascaded over them warming their icy flesh. Josh brushed his knuckles down the side of her face and then his lips followed, moving across her shoulders and down to her breasts.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Her eyes traveled the length of his rapidly hardening body and felt her own muscles tighten. His mouth continued to move over her, torturing, pleasuring. “I want you so much it’s like having a volcano ready to erupt inside of me.”
She framed his face between her hands.
“Then it’s time we explode together.”
Chapter Twenty-five
He took her hands and draped them over his shoulders. She felt herself shiver when he licked drops of water that had settled in the tiny hollow at the base of her throat while his hands traced her shape and molded themselves to her curves. He backed her against the wall and pressed her there with muscles straining, his body hard and aroused.
“I love your taste and the feel of your skin,” he said, his voice thickening.
His mouth descended, taking her breath away. By the time he reached behind and turned the water off, Catherine understood the feeling that she would explode any minute. He took her by the hand and led her away from the stall, grabbing a couple of towels as they went. They dried off in haste before Josh pulled her against him again. His tongue caressed her lips with soft swirling strokes before diving inside her moist sweetness for a more thorough taste. She moaned into his mouth inviting him to deepen the kiss.
Long minutes passed bringing precious moments to savor while tender flesh ached to be possessed. The outside world had disappeared. They were alone in their own universe. Intoxicated by a beautiful world they had created for themselves, they began to turn the dingy little motel room into their own special Eden. Driven by pure sensation and hunger, they were ready to soar into the upper peaks of passion.
They fell onto the bed with arms and legs entwined. Her skin gleamed alabaster white against the dark quilt. He pulled the spread aside until they lay on the sheets.
“Our hair. We need to dry our hair, Josh.”
“I haven’t got time for that now,” he groaned and lowered his pulsating body to Catherine’s waiting arms while he shivered and let himself sink into her scented flesh. Filled with a powerful sexual force neither could stop, they began to shudder out of control. Each demanded more than they had ever sought before. Raw, naked yearning drove them on until their emotions crested and burst forth in a series of blinding flashes of light leaving them spinning out into another dimension. They rode the luminosity in concert, basking in its glow until they gradually floated back down to earth as one.
Completely drained, yet strangely invigorated, they lay in each other’s arms. Somewhere between the sound of the rain and her long drawn out sighs, Josh’s voice penetrated Catherine’s brain.
“This is going to sound kind of corny, but I feel like I’ve just been reborn,” he said and burrowed his face against the side of her neck. “I’m tired of running, Catherine. I meant it when I said I’m not going anywhere ever again unless you’re with me. I’m yours to do with what you want now.”
She lifted his head and reached up to touch loving fingers to his face. He had given himself to her at last to mold to her will. His humbly spoken surrender brought a vulnerability she hadn’t expected from him. Emotion filled her throat and tears slowly began to seep from beneath her lashes. She wept for the time lost, the challenges they’d never confronted, and the mistakes that had been made by themselves and others.
He rolled them onto their sides and held her in a tight embrace.
“I thought you’d be happy. This isn’t exactly the reaction I expected from you,” he said and stroked her hair. “I certainly never wanted to make you cry. Don’t tell me I’ve messed up again?”
She buried her face against his chest.
“I’m crying because I am happy. To be here with you and knowing that we’re going to be together at last is like a dream come true.”
He kissed the top of her head.
“For me, too. It’s good to know that our dreams sometimes turn out the way we hope they will.”
“I had begun to think I was a jinx because so many people I cared about, my parents, Nancy, Tom, all left me. Even you went away.”
“I understand that kind of pain now that Tom is gone and how I almost lost you, too. I’m sorry that I failed you in so many ways, but I vow that I’ll never leave you again. My world is wherever you are. I don’t need to look any further ever again.”
She sniffed and wiped away tears.
“No more traipsing off on another jaunt?”
“Like I said, not unless you’re with me, but I have a feeling life with you is going to be all the adventure I’ll ever want.”
“I’ll try to make it worth your while.”
He laughed and kissed a few stray tears away. “I have little doubt of that.”
“What will you do if your mother still refuses to accept me?”
“She knows she has to, or she loses me.” His mouth tightened. “Right now I’m having a difficult time forgiving her for interfering in my personal life. She lied thinking she was protecting me, but in doing so she very nearly caused me to lose you.”
“She did. If it hadn’t been for a phone call from Mr. Marsh revealing so many things about what had happened to you, my stupid pride might have kept us apart even longer.”
He stared at her with surprise clearly showing in his eyes.
“When was this?”
“Tonight. He caught me as I was leaving work. He convinced me to give you another chance.” She felt him go rigid and saw the tension in his expression. “You aren’t angry with him are you? He’s very fond of you, Josh. He did the right thing, you know.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Did you come here only because of his phone call?”
“Of course not. I’m here because this is where I’m supposed to be. I knew that all along. I just needed someone like Mr. Marsh to give me a push in the right direction.”
“I owe him big time, then. He’s a good man. You’ll like his wife, too.”
“I’d like to meet them some day to thank him in person.” She snuggled against him and kissed his chest. “Now I think we both could use some shuteye. Nurse’s orders.”
He stroked her lips with the tip of his finger.
“I’d much rather make love again.”
“We will, and it’ll be even better once we’ve rested. I have a feeling you haven’t been sleeping very well lately. I know I’ve certainly done my share of tossing and turning.”
His mouth replaced his fingers in a quick kiss.
“Okay, you’re the boss.
>>>>dreams<<<<
But later, after he heard her breathing deeply in sleep, Josh still hadn’t closed his eyes. There were too many emotions chasing around inside his head. He thought about how he’d almost ended it all like Tom had. He very well might have if he hadn’t caught his toe on a child
’s plastic pail half buried in the sand at the water’s edge. It made him think of little Tommy and how he suddenly realized he wanted to be his father. He’d decided even if Catherine didn’t want him, he owed it to Tom’s son to stick around.
He’d done a lot of thinking and soul searching about his life on the drive back. He recognized he’d wasted too much time on what wasn’t important and cared too little for the things that should have mattered. It hadn’t been easy admitting that he’d been way too arrogant and full of himself chasing after empty pursuits. While there was no way he could erase the mistakes he’d made, he could at least try to be better in the future.
This was especially important when it came to how he’d handled his relationship with Catherine. He couldn’t blame all the mistakes that had been made on his mother’s interference. He’d hurt Catherine deeply by his own selfishness and mistrust. It terrified him to know what a near thing it was that he would never have her in his life again.
How many chances did a person have to clear away the blunders they’d caused in their life? His actions had put him on a risky seesaw ride long enough. He barely held back a shudder knowing if fate hadn’t finally worked in their favor, he wouldn’t be here with Catherine lying in his arms.
>>>>dreams<<<<
The next time Catherine opened her eyes Josh was propped on an elbow smiling at her.
“Good morning. How did you sleep?”
She gave him a sleepy smile in return.
“Great.” She decided she’d tell him later about the dream she’d just had of them exchanging wedding bands. “How about you?”
“Changed my mind about sleeping. I’d much rather watch you.”
“You’d better get used to it because I plan on hanging around for a long time.”
“I think I can handle it.” He leaned down, nipped her chin with his teeth, grazed her jaw, and tugged on her bottom lip making her moan.
“I do believe this nurse ordered you to get some sleep.”
“Sleep is over rated. I’ve more important things to do right now.”
His voice sounded ragged before his mouth covered hers in a kiss so hot it was a wonder it didn’t singe her lips. Long clever fingers, bold and daring, stroked her body, touching her quivering flesh in all her secret places making her whimper with such intense pleasure it came close to becoming pain.
“Josh, please . . .” she gasped, as his fingers danced over her breasts seconds before his mouth followed the same path. She rose toward him, offering, begging.
He stared into her eyes seemingly captivated by their seductive depths.
“Do you want me, Catherine? Tell me! I need you to say it,” he insisted in a voice gruff with lust.
“I want you, Josh. You know I do,” she barely managed to moan before he dove forward and sheathed himself within her honeyed sweetness.
His weight pressed her down into the mattress while his mouth devoured. His body gave her everything he had to offer and demanded as much from her in return until their world rocked off its axis. Blinded by need, lost in a sated haze of passion, they collapsed together and lay limp and weightless, fighting to breathe.
Catherine’s hands slid off Josh’s slick shoulders. She felt her heartbeats slowing and waited until they’d settled back into a normal rhythm. But she still hesitated, wondering if what she was about to say was the right choice. Fate may have brought them together, but it hadn’t always treated them with a kind hand. Perhaps she was being unfair to catch him at a weak moment like this, but she was counting on the power of love to help her cause.
Catherine could only hope Josh would be more receptive now that he was so relaxed after their lovemaking. She was either going to destroy their relationship, or set them free. She prayed it would be the latter.
“Josh?”
He nuzzled his face between her breasts.
“Hmm?
“You shared a lot of important information last night and I want you to know how much I appreciate that, but there are still some things you didn’t talk about.”
He lifted his head.
“Which means they’re probably best left unsaid.”
“I don’t think so.”
He heaved a heavy sigh and rolled off her.
“All right then, what things?”
“I think you already know the answer to that.” She touched his face before letting her fingers trail down to the bumpy ridges on his chest. “These. I need to know what happened to you when you were in South America. All of it, especially your feelings.”
He pulled her hand away, pushing them down between their bodies and clasping their fingers tightly together.
“I thought you said Douglas told you.”
“He could only tell me what he knows. You need to talk about your nightmares.”
“Why is it that women always want to know so much?”
“Because the more we get; the more we can give in return. It’s important that you tell me the rest until there’s nothing left. We skipped that in our last reconciliation. I can’t help but think that’s part of what went wrong.”
He let go of her hand and turned his back to her. “I told you before I’m trying to forget about all that. I thought you understood.”
“I do understand, but you said Ryan told you I needed to get to know you again. I can’t do that if you only give me snippets. I don’t want to cause you more suffering, but you know as well as I do that emotional pain can leave scars, too.”
“Then why bring it all up again? Why dig up the past?”
Going with what she hoped was the correct instinct honed by her love, she continued.
“Because the more you try to shut some things away, the more they try to get out. Remember those roadblocks you talked about before? Let’s knock all of them down for good. Then I give you my word we’ll never speak of this again. Please Josh, do this for me – and of more importance, for yourself.”
“Death came looking for me Catherine and that’s one door I’m not going to regret slamming shut. Add that to the fact I tortured myself thinking I’d lost you. Those are only some of the memories I’m trying to hold back. If you were in my place would you want to put out a welcome mat?”
A bone-chilling cold settled inside her at the icy sound of his voice, but she forced herself not to back down.
“I would if it meant I’d never have to worry what would happen if I did open those doors again.”
Seconds became long agonizing minutes. Josh shifted his body restlessly and rolled onto his back, but remained silent. She leaned over and looked at him trying to read his expression, but it was as closed as the tight set of his mouth.
She gnawed her lip and felt her heart sink. She was beginning to wish she had waited before bringing up such painful thoughts. Had she made a mistake to ask this of him now? Perhaps their newly formed bond was still too fragile for him to confide in her.
Afraid that her carelessness had ruined their reunion while it was still in its infancy, she waited while her unanswered questions pulsed inside her head like a hammer pounding out a persistent beat. Had her probing made him barricade the door for good?
Josh’s continued silence lingered while other less important sounds filled the room. A car alarm went off somewhere in the distance, someone coughed in the next room, and the dripping showerhead suddenly seemed terribly loud.
She knew if he couldn’t bring himself to tell her what had happened, she’d have to accept that. She was about to tell him when he began to speak and the first words out of his mouth made her heart ache for what this sharing was obviously going to cost him.
Chapter Twenty-six
“I can’t seem to get the stench of my own fear out of my mind. Or forget how it felt holding Marie’s dead body in my arms. Orlando, the leader of the men who took us, haunts my dreams. It’s like having the devil himself coming after me again and again. I swear to God fire shoots out of his eyes every time I see him and the pain starts all over.”
&nb
sp; She heard the torment in his voice and reached for his hand offering him comfort. He laced their fingers together, squeezing tightly as though he needed that lifeline.
“I can see you’re still emotionally attached to those horrors even though you don’t want to be. That’s probably why you have the nightmares. They won’t go away until you either let go of those negative emotions or better yet, exchange those feelings for a list of more positive options. I’d like to hope our building a future together would be at the top of that list. But if this is too much for you to talk about right now, we can wait for another time as long as you’ll promise me there will be another time.”
“No, let’s get the mess over with. You’re right, the sooner I get everything out and start working on replacing the bad images with healthier choices the better off I’ll be.” He rested their joined hand on his scarred chest.
“This might take me a while.”
“Take all the time you need.”
He sucked in a deep breath, filling his lungs before letting the air slowly escape.
Once he began to talk, it was as if flood waters were flowing over a dam.
“The natives gave us the only relief from the horrible circumstances, but they were limited in what they could do. In many ways they were innocent as children. Their eyes held ancient knowledge, but they existed out of time. I don’t think they understood the barbarism of the modern world.”
“Are you referring to the kidnappers as being the barbarians?”
“Yes. They were the real savages. Poor Marie. Her motivation in going to the Amazon was to search out undiscovered plant life for medicines, so she could help people. But her dedication was rewarded by appalling cruelty. Orlando slapped her around, and every time I tried to stop him he’d have me beaten. I began to hate him in a way I never thought I was capable of.”
“I’d say that was understandable considering the way he was mistreating you. But I don’t see why he abused you with so much money at stake. Surely he had to know he must keep you both in good health to collect the ransom.”
Dreams~Shadows of the Night Page 19
