Three Reasons to Love

by Keira Montclair

  All because he’d looked at her. Now his world was spiraling out of control and he didn’t like it at all.

  Not one bit.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Lauren stared at the volleyball game being played outside her window. It was their annual Labor Day picnic. The sun was shining and it was a lovely seventy-five degrees, but she couldn’t bring herself to come down to the party yet. A knock sounded at her door, and though she almost ignored it, she said, “Come in.”

  Ryan’s wife, Caitlyn, stood in the doorway. “Hey, Lauren. I’m sorry to bother you.”

  “Come on in, Cait. You have the weekend off? How nice.” Caitlyn was an RN at a pediatric hospital, which required her to work every other weekend and many holidays.

  “This is one of Ryan’s favorite parties, so I put in for it a while ago. How are you doing?”

  “I’m okay.” She sat on the bed and motioned for Caitlyn to sit next to her. “I can’t seem to adjust to the fact that someone tried to kill me. I guess that’s what’s dragging me down.” That, and the trauma of her rape resurfacing. Every time she thought she had put it solidly in her past, something freshened the wound.

  The powerlessness, the anger, the sick feeling from that horrible man’s touch… She gazed off at her desk and her laptop, thinking about the message she had received in her school email account late last night. “Stop running the group. Leave it closed and I’ll leave you alone.” She’d called Ryan about it and the cops had checked it out, but they hadn’t yet traced the original sender.

  Was it possible her mother was right? Was the man who’d set her rental on fire the same man who’d raped her five years ago? Had he raped others? Was that why he’d destroyed her home? Or maybe her original theory had been correct, and she was being harassed by someone who’d abused—or tried to abuse—one of the women she’d helped. She feared she’d never know.

  Cait reached over for her hand. “Lauren? Why don’t you come downstairs? I know you’re tired, but I think it would be good for you. There’s someone here who would like to meet you.”

  “Huh? Someone wants to meet me? If it’s a guy, I’m not ready…” It was much safer for her to stay alone in her room. If she went out there and talked to everyone, they might ask her about what had happened. Then the fire—and the rape—would replay in her head like horrible movies.

  “It’s the firefighter who saved you. His name is Nate Patterson. He’s here with his two brothers. They’re all playing volleyball, but he wanted to talk to you, make sure you’re okay.”

  “Oh. That would be nice.” She supposed she would have to force herself to speak with him. It was only proper to thank the man who’d saved your life. Should she tell him that a small part of her would have been okay if he hadn’t saved her?

  No. She needed to be stronger than that—stronger than the bad things that had happened to her. There was so much to live for. Her family was wonderful, she’d helped many other assault survivors, and she’d just uncovered a fascinating battle in her study of Scottish medieval history.

  And yet she couldn’t forget.

  Cait wouldn’t let up. “Why don’t you come down and meet him?”

  Lauren stood with a smile, telling a silent lie, just like she did every day. It was the only way she could manage to act “normal.”

  “I’d like that. Let me freshen up first.” She headed into the bathroom next to her room to brush her teeth and comb her hair. Her mother was right—the dark circles under her eyes were still there. How did one get rid of those? Sleep, the one thing she couldn’t seem to get because her sleep was haunted—haunted by a voice calling her “bitch.”

  She opened the door and nodded to Cait, who led her down the stairs and out onto the expansive lawn in front of the lake. “I’ll see if I can find him.”

  “Okay. I’ll wait in the gazebo.” She made a point of walking around the groups of people chatting on their own. She wasn’t up to making small talk that would inevitably lead to the fire. Staring out over the lake, she found herself hoping Nate was nice. He was a firefighter, which meant he was likely responsible and hard-working, and he was certainly brave—all qualities she would look for in a man…were she interested in finding one. She heard Cait’s voice and pivoted.

  Every thought left her head. Nate Patterson was gorgeous…probably the most attractive guy she’d ever met. His dark hair was short, and he had gray eyes that reached out to her. She didn’t understand that. Though she didn’t remember being rescued by this man, he did look strangely familiar.

  Then it hit her—Nate was the man in her dream. How was that possible? She’d never been a believer in psychics or anything otherworldly. Had her unconscious mind just retained the memory of him rescuing her?

  She smiled as Cait introduced them. After giving his hand a firm shake, she said, “It’s nice to meet you, Nate. I’d like to thank you for saving me at my rental. I tried to get out…” Her voice caught as a flood of emotion swept over her, and she dropped her gaze to her feet.

  Cait said, “I promised Lorraine I’d help her in the kitchen, so have fun and thanks for coming, Nate.”

  The man was so handsome that it left her tongue tied, something that never happened to her. He had on a plain white T-shirt that stretched across his chest, showing off his musculature to anyone who was interested. His body was incredible—tanned, toned, muscular, begging to be touched… Men this strong are dangerous, a voice in her head whispered. He could crush you without even trying.

  And yet, she somehow knew he wouldn’t.

  “Lauren, no need to thank me. It’s my job, but I wanted to make sure you were all right. You had taken in a lot of smoke.” He smiled, the kind of smile you saw on dental ads.

  Lauren sat down because she had to. He sat close, but far enough away so they did not touch, which suited her fine. She didn’t allow strange men to touch her…ever. “I’m fine. So do you like firefighting? It must be quite terrifying at times.”

  He laughed, and the sound seemed to shoot to her sex, to the tips of her breasts. She tried her best to stop the raw response her body had to Nate Patterson, but she couldn’t. No man had affected her like this since the rape. Licking her dry lips, she couldn’t help but stare at him.

  “It is terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. Does that make any sense?” He ran his hand through his short hair. She could see how much he loved his work in his eyes. His smile making her want to sigh, to touch him, anything. “Jake said you’re attending Cornell University. What’s your major?”

  “I’m hoping to obtain my Master’s Degree in history. I thought I wanted to teach, but I’m so drawn to medieval history that I’ve changed my focus.”

  “Medieval history. Wow. That’s different.”

  She gave him a look.

  “No, I’m sorry,” he said, lifting a hand. “I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I meant good different. I haven’t met anyone involved in that type of pursuit.” He flashed another gorgeous smile her way. “What area are you studying? Something specific or a global study?”

  She was surprised he was interested enough to press for more information. Most people heard the word history and shut down completely. “I started studying England, but I feel more drawn to the Scottish Highlands, probably because there’s so little documented history, especially in the 1200s, which is the time period I’ve been researching. When I finally find something, it’s like finding a rare treasure.”

  He gazed into her eyes, but she had to pull back. If she didn’t, she would become lost in those beautiful orbs. Much better to ignore him. There was no man alive who would choose to deal with someone like her, someone with intimacy issues. Perhaps it would be best to end this conversation.

  “Again, I don’t know how to thank you for saving me.”

  “You’re welcome. Now I have to ask a favor.” He made the statement with such a serious expression on his face, she had no idea what he was about to say, and she felt an urge to bail out of the s
ituation—the way she bailed out of everything.

  “Sure.” She said it hesitantly, but how could she refuse the man who had saved her life?

  “Promise me you won’t thank me again? You’ve thanked me enough, and I would like to put that behind us.”

  She couldn’t help but laugh. “All right, I agree to your request.”

  “Have you returned to your place? I mean, has anyone allowed you back in to see if you can salvage anything?”

  He stood and took a step closer, and she had to fight her instinct to get up and move away from him. He will not hurt you, Lauren, he will not grab you or push you…This is the man who saved your life.

  He’d asked her a question, hadn’t he?

  Oh! The scene of the fire. She’d thought about going back, but she hadn’t yet built up the nerve. Still, she needed to see if the information in the lockbox was safe. “No. Would that be possible?” she asked. “I haven’t even driven past since it happened, but my stepdad did. He said there wasn’t much left to the building. But there is something I need…if it survived the fire. It was in a protective box. Who could I see about having it returned? It was supposed to withstand extreme temperatures.”

  “Let me make a couple of calls and see if it has been cleared by the fire marshal.” He took out his phone and stepped outside the gazebo across the grass to make his phone calls.

  Would going back resurface more memories?

  Probably, but she needed the contents of that box. True, the information in there was backed up on her flash drive. Didn’t matter. She wanted the written copy.

  Taking a deep breath, she said a quick prayer for strength because she’d vowed not to allow criminals to change anything she did. She refused to give them that satisfaction.

  Nate cleared his throat, bringing her back to the present moment. He stood with one leg on the first step of the gazebo, his phone back in his pocket. “It’s been cleared. I’d be happy to take you over there if you’d like. Officially, you shouldn’t go in without a firefighter or the fire marshal. It could be dangerous, but I know what to look for when it involves burned walls and the like. But you might want to put on dark clothes and dark sneakers. The soot could get all over you.”

  “Thank you. I’ll go inside to change and let my mom know I’m going with you.” Then she blushed. “Not that I’m required to or anything, I’m plenty old enough, but she’s a little worried about me after what happened. She’d feel better knowing I left with you.”

  “I completely understand. I’d be happy to answer her questions while you change.”

  “Perfect. Why don’t you come with me?”

  She headed back to the house, glad he had suggested she change out of her white pants. They certainly would have been ruined by the expedition. Her mother was still in the kitchen, fussing over the meal.

  “Oh, there you are, Lauren. Have you eaten?” Her mother’s eyes widened, and Lauren could tell she’d just noticed Nate behind her.

  “Mom, I’d like you to meet Nate Patterson, the firefighter who carried me out of the blaze. He’s going to take me back to my house to see if anything is salvageable.” She could tell how pleased her mother was by her statement, so she ducked away from them. “I’m just going to go change.”

  “Nate, I owe you so much for saving my daughter. Bless you.”

  Lauren ran up the stairs. She didn’t want to leave Nate with her mother for too long. If she did, she might come back to find herself in an arranged marriage.

  ***

  Nate looked up as soon as Lauren entered the room a few moments later. Hell, but even dressed down she was beautiful. She had on a dark T-shirt, dark jeans, and dark sneakers. Perfect attire for digging through the ashes. She’d even pulled her hair into a bun on top of her head, another wise move. Her golden hair could be covered with soot in no time.

  She gave her mother a kiss on her cheek and said, “We’ll be back soon.”

  Cait, who was helping out in the kitchen, called out her name. As soon as Lauren turned around, Cait tossed her a few packets. Lauren held them out for him to see.

  “Ah, wet wipes. Smart girl.”

  “Cait is a nurse. She thinks of everything.” They headed out the door and he led her over to his truck.

  Nate held the door for her and she climbed up easily—a good sign that she was recovering from the incident. She put her seat belt on and waited for him to get in. When was the last time he’d had a woman this beautiful in his truck? Seeing her in person again had made him realize—and accept—that he was interested in her. Very interested. If he had his way, he’d tug her over onto his lap and kiss her before they even backed out of the driveway.

  But this time, he was determined to do things right. No one would accuse him of being overprotective or controlling. He could tell she was as nervous as he was, so he decided to start a conversation. “You have quite a large family. How do you keep track of everyone?”

  She laughed, a sweet musical sound. “It is difficult some days. Especially because we aren’t all in the area.”

  “How many siblings?”

  “I have four brothers, a sister, and six stepsiblings. We can have a huge party all by ourselves.”

  “And is there room for all of you at the lake house?”

  “Yes, my mother squeezed in beds and trundles and all kinds of things to fit us all, although I don’t remember how long it’s been since we were all together. How about you? I remember Ryan and Cait telling me that you have two brothers.”

  “Yes, it’s just the three of us. We live together in my parents’ house.”

  “I don’t mean to be nosy, but where are your parents?”

  “My mother died in a car accident several years ago, and my father couldn’t handle raising us alone. He left a couple of years later, but at least the house had been paid for.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother.”

  “Thanks. Here we are.” He turned the engine off in front of the house, allowing her the chance to look at everything before he got out. The house was roped off because the site was still dangerous. “As you can see, the second story collapsed, but many of the first-floor walls are still standing.”

  She opened the door and got out, not taking her eyes off the place she used to call home. He jumped out, running over to her side to guide her. “It would probably be best if we entered the ruins from the back.”

  “Have they found anything to prove who did it?” She followed him down the driveway to the back of the house.

  “Not that I know of, but I’ll check for you the next time I go in. Has Ryan said anything?”

  “Just that they have a couple of leads, but he hasn’t shared them with me. He’s been working with a group of detectives, even a couple from Rochester. Ryan said the chief has made the case a priority so they’re all working on it. Actually, I don’t want to know what’s going on until they’re sure.”

  She made her way to the back door, which was hanging on its hinges, and stepped inside. She stumbled and he caught her. “Here, hold my hand so you don’t fall. We’ll both prop each other up. Do you remember where you kept the lockbox?”

  “Yes. It was on the top shelf of the downstairs closet near the kitchen.” She pointed in the direction for him to go.

  “Why don’t you stay out here while I check? If it made it through, it should be easy to find.” She nodded, and he moved carefully through the debris, hoping the foundation held him up. He yanked on the closet door to see if it would open, and it fell, half of the wood in the door charred beyond recognition. He shoved some broken boards around, and finally found something.

  “Did you find it?” Her voice carried through to him, a little more anxious than he’d expected, making him wonder what was inside the box.

  “Yeah, I think so.” He came out with the black box in his hand, the lock still in place. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

  “Yes.” Her face lit up. “Thank you. I keep some important papers
in there, but there are also some things inside that are quite special to me. My father gave me a necklace the year before he died.”

  “I’m sure it’s probably still in there, but I think it would be better for us to get outside and open it there.” He helped her back outside, carrying the box for her. As if she could not wait another moment, she took the box from him and sat down on the front porch steps, still intact. After using one of Cait’s wipes to clean all the soot off the box, she opened it with the key code. He could see the relief on her face as she withdrew the necklace. It was clearly very special to her. She replaced the necklace, closed the box up again, and rubbed her fingers across the metal, staring down at it.

  “Are you all right, Lauren?” He didn’t know quite what to do or say at this point. It had to be devastating to see your home destroyed like this. This was the part of firefighting he usually did his best to stay away from—the personal piece.

  She nodded, standing up and pivoting to stare at her house. “This was all I came for.” She stared up at the house. “I still can’t believe it happened, but it was only a rental. Everything else inside is replaceable.”

  He gave her a moment to process, then placed his hand at the small of her back. “Why don’t we go? Unless there’s something else you wanted to see.”

  “No.” She lifted her chin. “Thanks for bringing me here. It means a lot to me, but I have all I need from this house.”

  They walked back down the driveway in silence. He opened the door to his truck, but before she got in, she turned to face the house again.

  “Maybe for some odd reason, this will turn out to be a blessing.” She smiled and climbed into the truck.

  He wondered what she meant by that.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  All the way back to her house, Lauren couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d just seen. Her home had been destroyed. But she’d been able to retrieve the most important contents of that house thanks to Nate, and it was safe on her lap. She was beyond relieved the necklace from her dad had survived, but she needed the chart she’d made. It was her best hope for stopping the pattern of sexual abuse on campus. For finally putting the past behind her—something she was very ready to do.