With Us (The Amato Series Book 1)

by Layla Frost

  I stopped walking and turned to face her. “Why?”

  “Because Theo needs to be the one to tell you everything.”

  “So Luc said,” I repeated.

  Rosa began walking again. “Trust me, if Theo gave the okay, I’d run to your house to tell you. Even if it was the middle of the night, I’d show up in my pajamas with my face covered in cold cream. But I know you’ll want to talk to him about it all, not me. He’s the only one who can give you all the answers, not just speculations and partials.”

  I need to move us off this topic, I’m just getting frustrated.

  “Are you hungry?” I asked.

  “Very.”

  As we discussed dinner options, I pushed Theo to the back of my mind and went back to enjoying myself.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Coal and Ash

  Theo

  Cazzo.

  With the office phone pressed to my ear, I clicked through the pictures Luc had emailed.

  “She looks tired,” I muttered, more to myself than Luc.

  He answered anyway. “She is. She’s been having bad dreams.”

  The knife in my gut twisted.

  “How did the night with Rosa go?” I asked.

  “She had fun. They were still drunk when I picked them up earlier, giggling and whispering in the backseat.”

  “Tell Rosa—”

  “I did. She made a fart noise. You know she only does what she wants. And she loves Dahlia almost as much as you do.”

  I made my own noise. Since my love was well into the obsessed area, I seriously doubted anyone else could come close.

  “I said ‘almost’, didn’t I?” I could almost hear the smile in his voice. “Dahlia’s good. Just talking to me, she still watches what she says. Wouldn’t whisper it. She protects you, and I don’t think she even knows it.”

  Fuck. How did I get so fucking lucky?

  “Any other updates?” I asked, trying to get back on track.

  “No. Nothing. And it’s fucking pissing me off.”

  “It means the plan worked, though.” My name hadn’t even been whispered in connection with Larson. Whoever the mole was, he had nothing to do but sit on his thumbs and plot.

  I was getting impatient. My list of grievances against the rat was growing, and I was looking forward to discussing them. Face-to-face.

  “I’m beginning to think it’s time for a new plan,” he said.

  “I think so too. I’ll be in touch.”

  Clicking off, I loaded up my email.

  Gattina,

  Tomorrow can’t come soon enough. I need you more than I need my next breath.

  I hope you know, there’s nothing I wouldn’t give or do for you.

  Just give me the chance.

  Addicted and in love,

  Theo

  As much as I wanted to scroll through the pictures again, I logged out, triple checking everything was erased.

  Money could buy a lot of perks.

  Namely, helping to clear the warden of his immense gambling debt. Since that debt was owed to me, not that he knew that, it was an easy one to accomplish. There were also guards with new offshore accounts in their names.

  An early fight with a much bigger man was enough to convince everyone to leave me alone. It’d been worth the busted lip and black eye to earn my spot in solitary. Only my solitary included a large bed, cable TV, and food delivery.

  Not that I was totally safe, of course. I couldn’t stay separated from everyone else for every minute of the day. And though I had access to a computer and phone, I couldn’t risk being seen on them. I could have visitors whenever, but I wasn’t pushing that either.

  Thinking about the next day made me happy, hard, and fucking pissed off.

  It’d burned at me when Dahlia was working so hard and living in the shitty apartment because she deserved the best. The thought of her stepping foot inside a pisshole like this filled my veins with molten fire.

  I’d only relented when Luc had made it clear how much she was struggling.

  I’d fucked up.

  But I was damn sure going to make it right.

  Dahlia

  Prison wasn’t what I’d expected.

  I hadn’t imagined Theo was in with the death row crowd, but I still hadn’t pictured it to be as clean as it was.

  Nice was a weird word to use, but it almost was. I waited in a well-furnished waiting room. When the guard came to get Luc and I, we were brought to a nearly empty room. I’d been expecting the phones with the thick window dividing us. Or the cafeteria-esque place, with other inmates and visitors. Instead, it had two office chairs, separated by a wide table. I sat on one side while Luc and the guard stood near the door, chatting and laughing.

  I fidgeted with the buttons on my long cardigan as I waited. Then I bounced my foot. Then I picked at my nails.

  “Sorry, Miss Kincaid,” the guard said after speaking into his phone. “Fight in the yard.” Likely seeing my eyes go wide and the color drain from my face, he rushed to add, “Not him. But it held him up. He should be here in a few minutes.”

  It was closer to ten minutes before a pissed off Theo stormed in, followed by another guard who didn’t stick around.

  I stood up, my eyes glued to Theo. He looked bigger. It was noticeable enough to safely assume he’d been making use of any gym equipment around. Instead of the orange jumpsuit, he was in a white tee and dark gray pants that almost looked like pajamas. He wasn’t shackled or wearing cuffs.

  Real prison is nothing like on TV or movies.

  Or maybe just not for Theo.

  “Hi,” I whispered when he didn’t say anything.

  Before I could blink, he was leaning almost entirely across the table to get to me. His mouth took mine in a kiss so hard, I knew my lips would be sore. Fisting my hair, he held me to him like he was about to climb across the table to me.

  Maybe he was.

  Unfortunately, the guard at the door cleared his throat. “Enough.”

  Theo groaned as he pulled away, but he cupped my cheeks. “Cazzo, I’ve fucking missed you. I just want to look at you.” He reluctantly dropped his hands and gestured to my chair. “Sit, gattina.”

  I had to since my legs were shaking so badly. Working hard to steady my voice, I asked, “How are you?” I scrunched my face and shook my head. “Sorry, that was stupid.”

  “No, no, it’s fine. I’m good. It’s not bad. How’re you?”

  “Lonely.” I tilted my head toward Luc. “But everyone is helping to take care of me.”

  “Good.”

  We sat in silence for a few moments, just looking at each other. Theo rubbed his thumb across his bottom lip, the motion and the veins in his hand making my heart hammer in my chest. I was aroused, angry, heartbroken, and thrilled, plus about a million other things.

  “Fuck, I miss you,” he growled.

  “I miss you, too.”

  “You’ve only got five minutes,” the guard said. When Theo shot him a glare, he shrugged. “The fight.”

  “Quick, catch me up on everything going on.”

  “There’s not much. Wendy closed Java Brew and is opening a new health and wellness center.”

  His brows pushed together in confusion, but he smiled, reminding me how much I missed his dimples. “So you’re not working?”

  “Not as of Friday afternoon. She offered me a job running the smoothie counter at the new center, but I’d have to touch kale, so I passed.”

  “What’re you doing?”

  I shrugged. “I’ll figure it out.”

  “Promise me you’ll take some time off.”

  “Maybe,” I said instead. Truthfully, I didn’t have much of a choice. With no job to go to the next morning, the time off was pretty much forced on me.

  Guilt crossed his face, his lips pressing into a thin line. “What else is happening?”

  “Movie time with Gus. Ben is still teaching me to bake.” I grinned. “Luc even taught me how to be as good as
he is on my phone.” When the expected snort came from the side, I corrected myself. “Okay, I still suck. But I have a bunch of apps, and I’m getting better.” Some sadness started to seep in, but I tried to hide it. “Other than that, just spending time with everyone.”

  “Wrap it up,” the guard said from the door, earning a scowl from Theo and me as we both stood.

  “I’ll see you soon?” I said to Theo.

  “Fucking bet on it,” he growled, seconds before actually launching himself across the table at me. Pulling my body tight to his, his kiss was filled with so much love and desperation, I lost my breath. He pushed me away within seconds, his lips brushing softly against mine as he whispered, “I love you, gattina.”

  Maybe I was more like my mom than I’d ever thought. I seemed to have inherited her taste in men, to a certain degree.

  Unlike my mom, I wouldn’t have tolerated abuse or cheating, no matter how much I loved him.

  Still, I’d hooked up with a guy who was in prison for something he didn’t do. He’d taken the blame, meaning he’d probably done something worse.

  I knew it.

  I just didn’t care.

  Because the only things that would change the way I felt about Theo, were the kinds of things he wasn’t capable of doing.

  Stupidly and beyond reason, I loved Theo.

  And I told him so. “I love you, too. No matter what.”

  His eyes closed, his forehead resting on mine. His hands gripped my biceps tightly, as if he were fighting the urge to pull me close again. I got the feeling enough rules were being broken at that moment.

  “I’ll see you soon,” I said more confidently as he released his hold on me.

  “Fucking bet on it,” he repeated, walking to Luc. He murmured something to him that I couldn’t hear before turning and grinning at me, his dimples deep. There was an edge in his eyes that was disconcerting. “Give up everything for you.”

  As he walked with the guard through a thick set of metal doors, Luc and I made our way through a different waiting room toward an exit. Tears rolled down my cheeks, starting slowly before building until there was pretty much a constant stream. Luc didn’t say anything at first, just wrapping his arm around me. I felt the eyes on me, but I ignored them as we walked toward the car.

  Only once we were completely clear of the area did I look at Luc, wiping my face. “Believable?”

  “Very.”

  ···

  Holding the cell to my ear, I listened impatiently to the ringing.

  “How’d it go?” Julie asked as soon as she picked up.

  Does she know it’s me?

  “Uhh, it’s Dahlia.”

  “I know. How’d it go?”

  I thought about seeing Theo in prison. Of his kiss, the sting of his lies, the pain of leaving him, and the bomb Luc dropped when we left about Theo getting out.

  “Amazing. Difficult. Gut-wrenching. Confusing.”

  Julie’s voice turned soft. “That all makes sense.” She hesitated for a moment. “Did Luc talk to you?”

  “Yes… Did he talk to you?”

  “Rachelle did. Did Luc say how long?”

  As if we were being listened to, our words were guarded.

  “A while,” I said, trying to stay realistic. “It’s a whole process, and there are no guarantees.”

  “Hmm. Were you able to see Theo for long?”

  “No.” I paced my room, my fingers pressed lightly to my lips. “They only gave us a few minutes together.”

  “That must have made it harder.”

  Taking the opening, I launched into my pre-planned script. “I need to know what’s going on. I feel like I’m on the outside—”

  “I can’t, Dahlia.”

  “I know Theo is family, and I’m putting you in a tough spot.”

  “That’s not it.”

  The coded language and lack of answers had me tightly fisting the phone in an effort not to launch it across the room. With my luck, it’d bounce back and hit me in the face.

  “Then why did you have me call you?” I snapped.

  “Because I know what it’s like to come into the family from the outside. I’m not able to tell you more because I don’t know. No one but Theo does. That’s why no one is talking. Anything we told you would bring up a hundred more questions, and you’d be even more frustrated than you are now. I love you and Theo. I don’t want to get something wrong and be the cause of any problems.”

  “I don’t need all the answers. I just need something, please.”

  “He loves you. I promise you that, but the rest of the conversation needs to be with him. He’s the only one who has the answers.”

  I groaned in frustration. “That’s what everyone keeps saying.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “If it helps, remember he’ll be out soon. After you talk to him, we can chat more openly. Okay?”

  “Mama!” I heard Kat yell in the background.

  “Oh shit,” Julie whispered, horror and amusement in her tone. “She’s covered in glitter. I’m talking head-to-toe. Send wine. Lots of wine. Glitter is art herpes. I’ll be finding it for years. I’ve got to go.”

  She clicked off before I could say goodbye.

  I collapsed back onto the bed, staring at the ceiling.

  Julie had been my last real hope. Based on our conversation in the bathroom, I’d assumed she’d tell me more, or at least had more to tell. It helped marginally to know why no one was filling me in, but not enough.

  At least I’ll have someone to talk to after, I guess.

  In the meantime, I needed to pick up my final paycheck from Wendy and search the job listings.

  When did my life turn into such a mess?

  ···

  As Luc pulled the SUV into the packed strip mall parking lot, I scanned the stores until I found Wendy’s new place.

  “‘Kale Me, Maybe?’” Luc asked.

  “I guess that must be it.” When he pulled up to the front, I hopped out. “This should be pretty fast.”

  He just lifted his chin, driving away as soon as I closed the door.

  The entrance was wedged open, construction workers coming and going. The smoothie bar area took up one entire wall. There were other doors, most of them closed. I could see wall-to-wall yoga mats in one room. The smell of patchouli, kale, and something woodsy was overpowering.

  “Dahlia!” Wendy came bustling from a back room. “Oh, I’m so happy you’re here. I have someone I want you to meet.”

  A man in his early thirties pushed through a heavy velvet curtain, and I was willing to bet he’d been waiting there to make his grand entrance. I’d been expecting a Mr. Clean lookalike. Or maybe the male version of Wendy. Instead, Mystic Stones was almost attractive, in a hip-Vegas-magician kind of way. His light brown hair was a bit overgrown, but his beard was neatly trimmed. He had piercing blue eyes that were a little too calculating.

  “You must be Dahlia,” he announced with no warmth.

  Since he was the man who’d cost me my job and safety net, my tone was equally as cold. “And you must be Mystic Balls.”

  “Stones,” he corrected with a glare.

  “Oh, right.” I turned to Wendy. “I’m sorry, I don’t have a lot of time. I just need to grab my check.”

  She waved her hand around, brushing me off as she grabbed my arm and started pulling me. “Come check everything out first. Maybe you’ll decide to take the job here after all.”

  “Or maybe you should become a client,” Mystic muttered from behind us. “Your aura could use it.”

  Wendy gave me a quick tour of the place. Some of the areas, like the massage one, were blocked off with the construction supplies.

  Pushing aside the velvet curtain, she pulled me into a room. “This is where Mystic does his readings. Sit, I’ll go get your stuff.”

  When she left, I stayed standing and looked around. Crystals and incense lined velvet covered shelves. Deep reds and blacks added to the gothic vibe which wa
s at odds with the cool tones of the rest of the building.

  “Your aura is coal and ash,” Mystic said from close behind me, making me jump.

  “What?”

  Slowly, he walked around until he was across the table. “You dance with the devil. What he touches, he burns, leaving ash in his wake.”

  I reached out for the chair as my legs began to shake. My heart began to race, and I could hear my blood surging.

  “He was born into the shadows. It’s his life, he knows no different. You willingly stepped into it. You are pure darkness, and it surrounds you. Death surrounds you.” Picking up a deck of tarot cards, he shuffled them like it was a magic trick. They bounced from hand-to-hand, flipping and making an arch. “Darkness spreads.” As he spoke, the room grew dimmer and dimmer until I could only see him and his side of the table. “It snuffs out even the brightest of lights if given the chance. His shadows bring light to your life, and in turn, that light shines in his. Without each other, the darkness would grow until it swallowed you both whole.”

  The blood that’d been coursing through me slowed, taking my heartbeat with it. My breathing changed to shallow gasps.

  Mystic turned over a card. I lost my weakened breath when I saw Rachelle’s face. Slowly, he flipped another, this one with Lou’s face. “Darkness serves a purpose. The tides turn, the earth spins, and your soul rests.” He continued dropping cards until Theo’s closest family was lined up.

  I scanned the cards, a feeling of warmth and fullness surrounding me as I inhaled deeply.

  Mystic met my eyes, a silent warning in his gaze.

  Instinctively, I gripped the chair tighter.

  It did little because, when he set the last card away from the others, my knees hit the ground. I clutched at chair to keep my torso upright as an unbearable pain tore at my chest. At my soul.

  Straining in the dark, I could barely see my dull and blank face on the card. My image’s eyes were filled with regret and agony, following me as I shifted.

  “You are a whole person,” Mystic said, “but your soul is not. The only thing more painful than never meeting its other half is knowing wholeness before being ripped apart again.”

  I cried out as the room plunged into total darkness, the pain in my chest growing so acute, I was sure I was about to die. My breathing slowed, my heartbeat faded. Regret clawed at me, the bitterness impossible to withstand.